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chillinjoan
10-25-2010, 04:41 PM
When Abraham says "I like you and you like me, let's see how it goes We don't see how you can commit to a life relationship." Not the exact words, but that is what they meant.

This reflects a non-lifetime promise of commitment. Yet other Abers feel you should change the way you see the person, and stay with them.

I am a believer in Divorce. Living with someone that isn't fun anymore is torture. No matter how you look at them in the Vortex, you are still wanting a different kind of relationship. It doesn't mean you don't love them and want the best for them. But we are supposed to be selfish? And why shouldn't you have the relationship you want?

This should start something in this place, I hear echoes in here.....HELLO...Hellooo oooo oooo

honeypie
10-25-2010, 04:52 PM
Hi Joan- Did you see this daily quote, the other day?

Are we for marriage? Yes. Are we for divorce? Yes. Are we for monogamy? Yes. All of you have different ways of satisfying your desires, and all of it is appropriate or not. And only you, individually, know if it is appropriate or inappropriate unto you in this moment.
--- Abraham
Excerpted from the workshop in Los Angeles, CA on Saturday, July 24th, 1999

honeypie
10-25-2010, 04:59 PM
I haven't been divorced, since I've never been married! I haven't lived with anyone, either! So I guess that quote is all I got! :)

Kellismom
10-25-2010, 05:26 PM
I have always felt the idea of "happily ever after, 'til death do we part" was an outdated concept. How can you take a vow like that when both parties are constantly evolving and growing? That said, I feel lucky DH and I still want to be together and have already renewed our vows once. But non-Abers always give me a weird look when I tell them I have no idea if DH will be together forever. LOL. :laugh:

I have a friend who believes you should agree to be married on a contractual basis. For example, when you take your initial vows, agree to 5 years and then review/renew the contract after 5 years, etc. She said that made the most sense. :smile:

honeypie
10-25-2010, 05:50 PM
I read a book where the author suggested the contract, something like 10 years I think. Lots of different ideas and beliefs!

that IS funny, Kellismom!

Merry
10-25-2010, 05:53 PM
I am a believer in Divorce. Living with someone that isn't fun anymore is torture.


Living with abuse is even more torture.

I had financial security, a beautiful house, long time friends, family close by, I was miserable. Got Divorced...found Abe. I have hardly anything in this now physical reality...my Vortex must be packed solid with stuff...but I am happier than I have ever been...and independent...free...I am fresh and new...really a whole new fresh start to a whole new life. Even my Vortex Diet is working...so happy happy joy joy.

I did wonder for a minute or two that if I had known Abes teachings back then...would it have made a difference in my marriage...hmmm...between his temper and control issues...not sure I would have even been capable of getting in the Vortex enough to change things...was not worth the risk...I am worth more than living that kind of life. I am responsible for creating my own reality...I got out while I still could. I look at him fondly as the rascal he was and believe me I know what I don't want and do want in another relationship.

I look at it like this...sometimes it is time to just get out...and no matter the reason...you just know it is time to go.

Kellismom
10-25-2010, 06:03 PM
Merry: I hear you! Right before I met my DH...I dated a wealthy businessman who promised me financial security. At first I was thrilled about the idea of not having to work, etc. but he was such a control freak, after we broke up I was THRILLED to be working again and enjoying my independence.
:laugh:

SingingInTheRain
10-25-2010, 07:02 PM
i am at this place in my life exactly. i left my hubby in january. i'd already found abe but i was so negatively focused upon our relationship and miserable it was definitely the path of least resistance to leave at the time. i felt and feel tons of relief.

now that i'm better focused upon what i want and more often in my vortex, i simply focus on this man of my dreams i've created. i can see it going either way- i can imagine my hubby and i gettin back together ( which would be nice cause i do have a desire to be married to one man my entire life and be able to say we were high school sweethearts and together 80 years lol) and living together happily ever after.

on the other hand, i can see meeting a new man, divorcing my hubby and living happily and still gettin the essence of my desire with a long, happy, free and open marriage. either way all is well and i don't focus on how it'll specifically work out, i just know that as i stay in my vortex it will.

chillinjoan
10-25-2010, 08:55 PM
Marriage is suppose to be FUN !

SingingInTheRain
10-25-2010, 09:58 PM
exactly joan!!! its supposed to be fun!!! life is supposed to be fun!! all of it!!!

chillinjoan
10-26-2010, 09:59 AM
I guess my point is partly on this thread is; how many couples would commit to each other with the vow of "Let's just see how it goes"...I mean there is an element of dis-trust wound in that statement.

What do you think?

Leigh
10-26-2010, 12:00 PM
I remember seeing on TV one time, a couple discussing thier relationship. They had been married over 25 years or something like that, and they said, "It has been like one long date." They had gotten together, and since each day was good between them, they made the choice continue to stay in the relationship.

I think the answer to your question Joan, might be in making the choice, before being in a relationship with anybody, what one's boundries are.

For instance, I can recall in the 70's/80's, my thinking that if my guy, ever hit me, I'm out of there. Well, my ex-husband hit me once. It took me a year and a half to leave, with no other instances of physical violence. And, he knew that would be the case, going into our relationship. We are good friends today, and we acknowledge we make better friends than lovers.

Now, I say, to myself, if verbal abuse directed at me, or those people and animals that I care about, I'm out of there, as soon as I see it being a controling/mindset/going to continue, kind of thing. This came about after being in relationship with an alcoholic. And, he was the first man I got truely involved with after my divorce, and I had the thought, nobody would ever love me again. This man never hit me, however, the verbal abuse escalated over time. He is gone from this earth now, however, I do feel in his way, doing the best he could with what he had, he loved me.

So, in desiring a man now, I have clearer desires in what I want to experience in relationship with him.

Leigh

chillinjoan
10-26-2010, 12:10 PM
ME TOO! I know what I am waiting for, he's going to jump out of my Vortex any day know !