Learning to Love Being Pampered Like a Celebrity

[Kellismom]

Lately, I've noticed an old story vibe activating. When I was single the first time, I dated wealthy high-powered, alpha men. This was way pre-Abe...during that time, I began to equate wealthy men with being domineering jerks...LOL. On the one hand, I enjoyed vortexy dates at high-end restaurants...on the other hand I felt like I was just being courted to be their Stepford Wife.

Fast forward to post-divorce dating. The same high-powered men are after me (basking in THAT...lol) and I have a cool boyfriend who loves to pamper me. I'm always impressed how celebrities are super pampered with getting free bling bags, spa visits, etc. and I want to feel that expansiveness. I'm clear my lesson is to allow my boyfriend to pamper me and so far, so good BUT...I feel like I reach a point where I'm embarrassed to ask for more. Like...I'm allowed to have *this* much but not THAT much. There have been times when I wanted to ask him for money (which isn't a big deal to him) but I start feeling OOV and would rather wait until he offers it. Also I feel like this vibe is reflected in that I picked a man who is successful but who could be wildly successful but seems like he has a split vibe on money (I know...NOT my pie). I'd really like to move forward in shifting this. Your thoughts/guidance would be really appreciated!!!

[TryAgain]

Woohoo! This is when it gets fun! I was just writing on another thread that feeling worthy is a game-changer. It soooo is! We all feel worthy roughly equal to what we are joyously, easily experiencing. So, it is really just a matter of expanding the worthiness that you already feel, to include more.....and when you do that, you won't have to consider "to ask, or not to ask" him for money...because it will all just land in your lap, perhaps from various sources. Then your task is to maintain the worthiness feeling...to graciously accept and to expect more (from the Universe). It gets easier and easier. Just relax into it...one shopping spree to the next, relaxing more and more into it. ;-) wheeeeeeeeee................

[AlexB]

At the end of the day you gotta do what feels good.

There's two possibilities I see:

* either you really DO want that free stuff, and you have counter-productive thoughts causing you resistance

* OR, your IB is telling you to lay off the free stuff, because deep-down you really want to be able to get that stuff for yourself.

Fortunately you don't have to think too hard about it.

[Kellismom]

Thank you TryAgain and AlexB!

TryAgain: you nailed it sister...LOL. It's all about worthiness and I'm trying to understand why it's okay for him to take me out all the time, pay for fun trips, groceries. etc. but then I get nervous and upstream when I want to ask him for money. For example, say we're at the movies and I realize I don't have enough money for popcorn and diet soda, etc. I would rather go without than ask him for say $10 to pay for it. It's silly because he already paid for the movie tickets, right? So not sure why I hesitate to ask him for $10? In the past, I just wait for him to offer it. The other thing is, our relationship is getting serious...so if we were married I wouldn't have any qualms asking him for the $10. I am scratching my head over this one...lol.

AlexB: It's not so much getting free stuff, as being aligned with the vibe of: "Of course I deserve nice things and it's totally okay if people give it to me, versus earning it." My old vibe was the way I was raised (ie: you gotta earn/work hard for stuff). When I see how celebrities graciously accept nice freebies all the time, without even batting an eyelash...I say to myself: "I want to be like that!"

[TryAgain]

.so if we were married I wouldn't have any qualms asking him for the $10.

In your mind/vibe, you've made your worthiness relative...relative to your relationship status, to your degree of earning it, or to some other condition. But your worthiness, in reality, is absolute and unconditional. This is what your IB knows and feels. Until you work that out in your head/vibe, you will have that hesitation/discomfort...which is really the feeling of difference between what you are thinking/believing (ie relative worthiness) vs. the truth that who-you-really-are knows (ie absolute worthiness). When you hesitate and feel uncomfortable to ask, you aren't on the right vibe/channel for receiving...in that time that you "go without" rather than ask...just line up with that decision and find a way to feel good about it and slowly, slowly massage your belief a little until you can take a few conditions out of your worthiness...eventually the dam will break on all the other conditions you have set and you will be right there where those celebrities are!

Thank you for asking. I've been playing with this subject too. I've definitely moved more in the direction of where I want to be with regard to this, but have farther to go. But I've come a long way baby. ;-)

[Kellismom]

TryAgain: THANK YOU...that was perfect!

[Hands in the Clay]

Hi, Kellismom. I know you wanted feedback here and I'm finding that I'm not in a vibrational place at all to be able to relate to your situation, being one who very much loves to bring in her own money without any ties to any other (excepting clients, but even that's waning now and I'm developing other avenues) and one who knows what it's like to be pampered "like a celebrity" and it isn't ever all it's cracked up to be (contrast on all platforms, there is wanted and unwanted in all situations). There's a great hotseater session between Dr. Wayne Dyer and Abe, where he says, "I have attracted wealth and fame, and I'm looking forward to being anonymous," and Abe say, with an ironic smile in their voice, "That ole pendulum just keeps swinging, doesn't it?" and he laughs and says, "Yes, it does!" There's another session when Abe joke, "Yes, but once you have that big house you want, your property taxes go waaaaaay up!"

What I can say is that your post is riddled with categorizations and a whole lot of beliefs about what constitutes success, demonstration of affection, and preferred behaviors.

Wealthy high-powered, alpha men. Domineering jerks...vortexy dates at high-end restaurants (I am mystified as to how you can have a vortexy date with a domineering jerk)
...being courted to be their Stepford Wife... cool boyfriend...impressed how celebrities are super pampered with getting free bling bags, spa visits....a man who is successful but who could be wildly successful

And this last phrase, "but seems like he has a split vibe on money," is the most telling. Indeed, it's not your pie at all other than in the fact that it demonstrates that YOU have a split vibe on money, and that your giving your attention to it and feeling negative emotion is proof that your IB is in a very different place. You ATTRACTED this person. That which is like unto itself is drawn. You're telling a very pre-defined story about what constitutes wealth, success, and male-female behaviors, and that's the ONLY thing to work on softening here. Success, it seems, for you, is making lots of money. He can be a total jerk, smell bad, "lie, cheat, and steal," be really unhappy or stressed out in his work, but he's still a success somehow. You're welcome to your beliefs, of course, as we all are, but until you shift them, your experience will not change! My clients are the luxury companies and hotels and restaurants whose products and services you appear to seek, and for many years I was in a somewhat political position that led to businesses courting my favor so as to get publicity mentions, and I can tell you that when you get on the inside of anything, it is always like learning how sausage is made... once you're on the inside, you need to apply your focus yet again to see the positive aspects, and you will always want more from wherever you are, or, as Abe often tell us, you might well end up wanting LESS - but you are sure to want something ELSE. I had a serious relationship with a young, handsome multimillionaire and the tension around money issues (and the power defined by who paid for what) was palpable. I've also been the well-off partner in other relationships, when my money was the usual source of support and purchase. I've had my contrast in that arena and am very happy to be in another place now! We all get to choose the vortices through which our prosperity comes, based on our preferences and allowing.

You want these things, this pampering, so that you can feel better. And you know what to do. Feel better FIRST. And then be prepared, once you get there, to find out that you want something different!

I know I'm being rather blunt here, but it's not a subject I would normally have responded to, as even threads and posts are their own vibrational LoA worlds, so I'm feeling rather like a fish out of water on this subject.

[muriz]

HITC I love you honey you're such a nerd

[Tiniminifly]

Dear Kellismom,

See, the nugget i got for you from this treasurehouse of abe forum

check out if this answers your question

This is gem has been given by our amazing friend "paradise on earth" in one of the threads

Originally Posted by paradise-on-earth
Did you ever notice that it needs a stronger person to receive in grace, than to give in grace? Giving is something we get trained into, and that is validated all over the place as "strong, lovable and good".
Receiving, to the contrary, requires self-confidence, and THIS was what I really, really had to learn. A focus on receiving is -normally!- seen as weak, needy, poor or greedy.
What a shame!


-Receiving compliments.
Receiving being SHOWERED with huge compliments.
Receiving to see yourself as good, as worthy, as valid, as smart and beautiful.
Receiving money without working "hard" or even at all.
Receiving being more (seemingly) blessed than others, who had (seemingly) very bad luck.
Receiving to be happy in the middle of poor, sick, anxious people
Receiving huge presents, that aren´t "validated".

Can you do all this- easily?


...If people can´t receive, there is no one I can give to. (the Universe)
Think about it.

[Larissa]

Feel better FIRST. And then be prepared, once you get there, to find out that you want something different!

Brilliant, HiTC!