why do I feel like I can never relate to people

[jaybreezy]

I'm always feeling annoyed and angry at an aspect of Abe and its the point abe raises about choosing certain aspects of your life before you are born. as in choosing certain challenges to face so that you expand.
what has always bothered me if I suppose the jealousy I feel toward people who choose to be born "queens" like the queen of England. it bothers me and is a source of anger and frustration. how is it respected or fair that source chooses an easy awesome life to coast through while others struggle so damn hard and we all end up in the state of expansion. I just don't find it fair and angers the shit out of me as I always see people born with a silver spoon or opportunities laid out and others who make it with nothing.
what does that say about the integrity of the source from which we came?

[Marc]

what has always bothered me if I suppose the jealousy I feel toward people who choose to be born "queens" like the queen of England. it bothers me and is a source of anger and frustration. how is it respected or fair that source chooses an easy awesome life to coast through while others struggle so damn hard and we all end up in the state of expansion.

"Source" didn't choose it, YOU chose it. Your life wasn't imposed upon you just like her life was not imposed upon her. Each of you CHOSE the lives you're in, for a variety of reasons, not the least of which was to provide the sort of contrast that allows each of you to decide what you prefer. If there weren't people out there who had more and those who had less, how would you come to your own preferences? You wouldn't, it simply would not be a characteristic that you perceive.

It's also the case that while you interpret the life of the Queen of England to be an "easy, awesome life to coast through," that may have absolutely nothing to do with the experience she's actually having. In fact, she could just as well look at your life and reach the conclusion that you have the easy, awesome life to coast through because you have the ability to choose where you want to go, do what you want to do, don't have responsibilities to the public and people watching you all the time, you have the ability to interact with anyone you like, etc. Your perception that she has an easy, awesome life to coast through is just a projection. You have absolutely no idea what's she's experiencing.

I just don't find it fair and angers the shit out of me as I always see people born with a silver spoon or opportunities laid out and others who make it with nothing.

While there's nothing inappropriate about that, look at it in a different way. I live here in the US and I'd really like to go visit Paris again. I've been before and find it to be such a wonderful, beautiful place. At the same time, I was recently reading an article by someone who lives in Paris who finds it boring and is longing to move to the US. They're simply different starting places and regardless of where you start, it gives birth to desire. Does it make sense to resent the person who lives in Paris because they already live there when I have the ability to go to Paris, as well as the ability to live there if I want? Of course not.

So some people are born having the issue of money or opportunities already settled for them. So what? It also doesn't produce desire for them, in the same way that you already have electricity, running water or plenty of food available and they really aren't a big deal to you, but to someone in Kenya or India, those things are things that they don't have and desire greatly. That doesn't make having running water inappropriate, it's simply a different starting point just like a difference in geography.

The missing piece of it is that you do have the ability to make your way to opportunity or adventure or whatever it is that you believe that you've concluded that you want. As long as you resent them, however, you hold yourself back from moving in that direction.

what does that say about the integrity of the source from which we came?

It says that Source really knows what it's doing. It says that there's a perfect balance. It says that you chose wisely. It says that all is well.

[jaybreezy]

thanks Marc. I like to read your responses and they enlighten me. it's the physical conscious part of me that resents or does not respect those that choose to be born into a life of wealth and convenience in this physical world while others don't. the physical jealous part of me despises and has no respect for those entities who decide to simply bask in the opportunity to have everything laid out for them.
ive always felt annoyed by everyone I've grown up with because they were born richer. they've had expertise at every point in their lives guiding them toward careers and investing and basically making more money. I think that I'm clearing my hangups regarding making money but this lingers and sets me back

[Evey]

i was born and "hit the ground running"(as abe uses that phrase)...do you know what I mean? And in a sense, because i chose to "hit the ground running" and then took the bounce, i actually feel like i was born with a silver spoon. I feel THAT blessed.

That aside, do yourself (you--you deserve this, you are worthy of this) a favor and stop pushing againts people with wealth that appears to have come easy to them, because as you do and deem easy abundance inappropriate, you are keeping your door tightly shut to your own abundance that you are worthy of. Until you let this go, you are fooling yourself that you are clearing you hangups about making money--but aren't you glad that your EGS is working? It is telling you exactly what the issue is and how you are keeping money away. Your EGS is brilliant and accurate and steady that way. Knowing that, and getting constant feedback---that is a powerful position you are in. Really good!

[jaybreezy]

thanks Eva. I actually do feel a sense of accomplishment just by knowing the negative feelings within me are indicative of an inappropriate emotion.
I def thought I was clearing up my hangups on money, in fact I disregarded any of my current friends status in life and focused on my own happiness.
tonight I was at a family event and was privy to a conversation with my cousin that revealed his fathers family friend was acting as his "financial advisor".. so eventhough neither of us are well versed in rolling over our 401k's, daddy set him up with the right connections in life to ensure he's on the right retirement path. and then there's me who has no goddamn clue about any of this.

i hate thinking that I'm sailing along only to realize I'm happy face stickering it. and I'm not even aware of it until an incident like this occurs which shoots me back to reality.
many times I wish I was a poor Kenyan. at least then I'd be surrounded by people I could relate to. I've always hated being poorer than my friends. it's easier to just be poor amongst the poor or rich ongst the rich. but to always be the have-not and feel like you're the person or family people look at to make themselves feel better enrages me

[Delilah]

Jaybreezy,

I believe I heard someone estimate the other day that we humans, each of us, have probably lived more than 30,000 lifetimes here on earth. Not that it matters. What matters is that WE ARE ETERNAL BEINGS. We have been and will FOREVER be experiencing and expanding through life here on earth, or in other dimensions under other conditions.

You may have been born financially rich many, many times before and wanted to experience what it would be like to be born under different circumstances. Teachers including Abe tell us that earth is NOT a pre-school for eternal beings. Abe says they are impressed with us all the time, primarily because we know (before we are born) that we came to experience the unique feeling of separation from Source, and the thrill of finding our way back to knowing who and what we really are.

Once you learn how to align with your Source (of power), you can have, be or do anything you want. So, if your life experiences have led you to Abe's teachings, I'd say you're actually ahead of the game!

Best wishes,
D.

[jaybreezy]

Jaybreezy,

I believe I heard someone estimate the other day that we humans, each of us, have probably lived more than 30,000 lifetimes here on earth. Not that it matters. What matters is that WE ARE ETERNAL BEINGS. We have been and will FOREVER be experiencing and expanding through life here on earth, or in other dimensions under other conditions.

You may have been born financially rich many, many times before and wanted to experience what it would be like to be born under different circumstances. Teachers including Abe tell us that earth is NOT a pre-school for eternal beings. Abe says they are impressed with us all the time, primarily because we know (before we are born) that we came to experience the unique feeling of separation from Source, and the thrill of finding our way back to knowing who and what we really are.

Once you learn how to align with your Source (of power), you can have, be or do anything you want. So, if your life experiences have led you to Abe's teachings, I'd say you're actually ahead of the game!

Best wishes,
D.

thanks D
coming from my physical point of view, I'd like to give my inner being the big F U for making me in my physical shoes in this physic experience have to deal with this contrast. real selfish bugger he is to think I'd enjoy being poorer than everyone in my experience.

[jaybreezy]

I'm sure this topic has been beaten to death. but I just want to vent that it's alot like people who are biracial... they never know where the belong. not black, but also not white. I told my parents I just wish we were poor. at least then I could relate to people. I could see people around me and feel close to them. or I wish we were rich for the same reasons. but we are not poor but far far far from rich and surrounded by rich people. it's shaped my anger and resentment which I'm working on smoothing over.

[BIPPINGALONG]

Wow. Get it out there. I hear ya!!!! Then feel better. After all, like it or not. We asked for it.

[Marc]

it's the physical conscious part of me that resents or does not respect those that choose to be born into a life of wealth and convenience in this physical world while others don't. the physical jealous part of me despises and has no respect for those entities who decide to simply bask in the opportunity to have everything laid out for them.

Well, you're free to hold onto those conclusions as long as you want and there's nothing inappropriate about them... but keep in mind that 1) that they hold you back and most importantly, 2) they don't feel good.

ive always felt annoyed by everyone I've grown up with because they were born richer. they've had expertise at every point in their lives guiding them toward careers and investing and basically making more money. I think that I'm clearing my hangups regarding making money but this lingers and sets me back

As I said before, for someone who's come from a place of money always being available, the receiving of money or opportunity is not going to bring them great pleasure, just as getting water from your faucet is not going to bring you a great deal of pleasure either, but it would for someone who has lived without running water all their lives. It doesn't mean to them what it would mean to you and as you come into alignment with what you are wanting, it will have so much more meaning and poignancy for you than it could possibly have for them, and part of your process will coming to not only understand that on an intellectual level, but on a very strong, visceral knowing level. A big chunk of that for me, piece by piece, experience by experience, is coming to know that it really was me who was holding these things away as well as the understanding of why I would make that choice. It's okay not to be at that place right now, you're already on the right path.

I actually do feel a sense of accomplishment just by knowing the negative feelings within me are indicative of an inappropriate emotion.

Emotions are never inappropriate. They're important information telling you whether the perspective you hold is in harmony with the perspective your IB holds, and if it's not, how far off it is. You may not understand what it means, or you may not like the answer you're getting, but in the same way that you may not like the sensation of physical pain, on a very deep level you recognize its importance and you really do want to know if your hand is burning on the hot stove so that, presumably, you'll take the hint and move it. You might decide that the perspective you're holding isn't helpful, that it conflicts with what you want, but even that unhelpful, unpleasant perspective is not inappropriate either. The sooner you lighten up on yourself and on what you're doing, the easier things will go.

I def thought I was clearing up my hangups on money, in fact I disregarded any of my current friends status in life and focused on my own happiness.
tonight I was at a family event and was privy to a conversation with my cousin that revealed his fathers family friend was acting as his "financial advisor".. so eventhough neither of us are well versed in rolling over our 401k's, daddy set him up with the right connections in life to ensure he's on the right retirement path. and then there's me who has no goddamn clue about any of this.

Once again, it's certainly understandable that when you know you really want financial stability and you're hyper aware of not having it, that you're going to be set off by seeing others that have what you want. At the same time, while that may be the easiest reaction for you to have, it is possible for you to reach for better feeling thoughts on the matter. It does require a little effort, but you can do it.

i hate thinking that I'm sailing along only to realize I'm happy face stickering it. and I'm not even aware of it until an incident like this occurs which shoots me back to reality.

Why? Isn't it better to get the clarity you need to recognize where you really are so that you can actually do something about it? It sounds to me like you're several steps closer to where you want to be than you w

many times I wish I was a poor Kenyan. at least then I'd be surrounded by people I could relate to. I've always hated being poorer than my friends. it's easier to just be poor amongst the poor or rich ongst the rich. but to always be the have-not and feel like you're the person or family people look at to make themselves feel better enrages me

Again, this is a fiction. The idea that somehow Kenyans don't have ways of finding differences amongst themselves is silly because there is contrast in every experience. They may not do it via the issue of money, but there's always going to be something there that gives birth to desire. Maybe you're short and you wish you were tall, maybe you're fat and you wish you were skinny, maybe you're slow and you wish you can run fast, etc. Maybe someone else is Mom's favorite. This environment is perfectly balanced to produce desire, it's just that you've chosen to focus on your lack of it that you're not letting yourself move forward what you want.

The other piece of it is this -- I've said this many times already -- compared to many, many, many people in this world, you're the one with the silver spoon in your mouth. It doesn't seem like it to you, but you have a level of luxury and convenience and well being that the majority of people on this planet would envy. There's absolutely nothing wrong with that, but you've simply chosen to see yourself as "the person people look at to make themselves feel better." That has very little to do with what they're really thinking and everything to do with how you see yourself. Even if you've had the experience to back it up, it's still something you've created and as you change your perception of who you are and how you feel about yourself, everything around you changes along with you.