why do I feel like I can never relate to people

[AlexB]

External reality is never what really matters -- state of being is what really matters. For that reason a queen is no different than a person born poor. They just have differing arbitrary physical conditions.

[lili3005]

hi!

I don't think Source chooses our life, WE do so before we come forth.
Also I want to say, be careful when you assume that because you're the Queen of England, you are happier than others, you have no idea, maybe she would rather be someone else, maybe her life was really hard for her, we can't know what others go through as we are never experiencing the same things and we are all different anyway.

So to me life is FAIR, always because you get what you put out!

[CreatorChristine]

You focus much of this conversation on differences and injustices you perceive as "true". What you don't seem to realize is just how wonderfully unusual your situation is - there are not many who perceive themselves as poor and disadvantaged who are surrounded by wealthy people living lives of ease and "connections" in the way you describe it.

But the question in the title of this thread is: "Why do I feel like I can never relate to people?" And I haven't seen that question answered here yet, so I'll give it a shot ...

The way I perceive it, you can't "relate" mainly for two reasons:

1) You are more acutely focused on the few MINOR DIFFERENCES you perceive between these people you believe are so unfairly enjoying ease and yourself instead of appreciating HOW MUCH YOU ACTUALLY HAVE IN COMMON WITH THEM, which is in Truth the far greater chunk of reality. Furthermore, you are not giving even the slightest credence to the thought that your chosen "disadvantaged" life offers you ADVANTAGES that these people you are envying possibly do not enjoy and for which they might even envy you. In effect, you are not allowing yourself to see the RELATIVITY of everything, which makes it unnecessarily difficult to relate.

2) You are apparently so fixated on finding satisfaction in being able to relate to others based on irrelevant details that you are neglecting the one relationship that can ALWAYS offer TOTAL SATISFACTION - the one between You and YOU. You're not relating with yourself, you're not making use of THE most intimate and advantageous CONNECTION available to you, but are instead using mental garbage as an excuse to hold yourself out of Alignment with YOU. I know that sounds harsh, but it's true.

I believe it might be helpful to you to realize something very important: Not only does it generally feel bad to negatively judge and disrespect others - but in truth, when you use others and/or conditions as your excuse to feel bad, you are DISRESPECTING AND ABUSING YOURSELF. I think that's something you might want to JUST. CUT. OUT.

Allow me to offer some examples of this kind of self-abuse:

While you are angrily telling yourself that these others are using you as their excuse to feel better about themselves, you are simultaneously using them and your own situation as your excuse to feel better about yourself AND to feel bad about yourself and them - and that will tear you apart every time. At same time, because you think it highly inappropriate that they might be using you as their excuse to feel better, you are not Allowing yourself the Relief of looking at others living in even "worse" conditions than yourself and realizing that your life is really not so bad in comparison to many others' lives.

While you continue to tell yourself that people enjoying such perceived ease do not deserve your respect, when you actually even despise them, you are effectively cutting yourself off from experiencing that kind of ease because it would be only logical in light of your perspective that you would then have to disrespect and despise YOURSELF if you ever WERE to allow it, no matter how passionately you say you would like to experience less struggle. Self-respect is synonymous with Appreciation of Self, and we can only allow that for ourselves which does not conflict with the conditions we place on Appreciation. That is why Abraham and many, many other teachers propagate Unconditional Love. Not so much because others deserve it - even though their deservingness is unquestionable - but because WE deserve it.

Ultimately, your current habits of thought have you in a vibrational loop of anger, jealousy, and perceptions of unfairness, the truths and standards you have determined for yourself are allowing you no way out of your predicament. You've got to cut yourself some slack and some leeway, my friend. And to that end, it would be of huge advantage to YOU to cut others some slack, too, giving them the benefit of the doubt. And then you'll find yourself relating to them - and EVEN MORE IMPORTANTLY: TO YOURSELF - much more easily and Joyfully.

And do cease beating up on yourself for not YET having made use of the ULTIMATE in "connections". This has not been wasted life - you have gained much clarity regarding what you want. You are now in the process of learning to relate to YOU - to your Inner Being (who, by the way, does not expect you to ENJOY being poorer than everyone else in your experience; it simply knows that it's not a good enough reason to feel bad all the time ). Allow yourself to feel as you feel, but ALSO seek to Allow yourself from negative emotion RELIEF, RELIEF, RELIEF - ANY. WAY. YOU. CAN. If that means raging at your IB/Source for a while, that is fine. If you remain sensitive to how you feel, you will notice when it no longer offers Relief and new thoughts that offer even greater Relief will become available to you.


Christine


PS: Could it be that you are doubting the "integrity of Source" because you are conflating "responsibility" with "blame"? These things are NOT the same, even though it is common to seek someone or something to blame and CALL it "ascribing responsibility". So, take responsibility for the life you have created so far and the life you are creating in your Now. But DO NOT blame yourself or make yourself wrong for where you now find yourself. And if you catch yourself doing so anyway now and again, then laugh, CONGRATULATE YOURSELF ON YOUR AWARENESS, and go do something that feels better.

[jaybreezy]

thanks all for your insight. i am definitely getting better at this. i woke up today after venting feeling just fine. the anger and isolation i felt last night is a memory. im finding things to be happy about and other things to be optimistic about. im having a good hair day! and im making overtime today at my job by working at my own pace, in my sweatpants, watching the olympics. in the past i would not have coped so well and that resentment and frustration probably would have lingered for weeks. but with all the reading ive done and studying ive done, im really becoming better at reaching for better feeling thoughts.

what works best for me is to get angry...get resentful...get pissed off...and get fully into those emotions rather than immediately trying to convince myself im not pissed off. i go through each emotion. have a drink if i feel like it. watch tv or a good movie along with that drink. and get a good nights sleep on it. things seem to have a way of lessening in intensity after a good nights sleep and not harping on it before i go to bed. i think im really soaking all this stuff in finally

[Evey]

what works best for me is to get angry...get resentful...get pissed off

i guess if the feeling powerless is the main chronic vibration then yes, being a major pissant would feel much better. Add a little alcohol to anger and you get some big ass queenly royal proportions grids of unfairness flying around. So where those angry drunk post you posted last night?

next life when you are a poor kenyan among other poor kenyan, you will be what the BLIPP--what kind of IB do i f* have? Lol.

I am teasing ya! I am sure next life you will have as much creative freedom as you do in this life.