I need some guidance about "anger"

[EverHereNow]

Hello. You guys are so wonderful about answering profound questions here. I thought I might ask something that has been bothering me lately.

It's about anger. I easily get angry, for some reasons. Someone does something or says something and it makes me angry. I am fully aware that what others do shouldn't affect me at all.. however, I have a hard time controlling this emotion of 'anger' and I feel guilty after getting angry. It is such a negative feeling and knowing that makes me even go further out of the vortex.

Any suggestion on how to deal with anger..the Abe way?

Thank you for your answers.

[SheerLuckHolmes]

First off no ones behavior 'makes' you either angry or happy. Everyone else is irrelevant to how you feel. Unless your established habitual thought patterns are to pay attention to your 'Whatis' and then react. You have an established grid for allowing what occurs in your life to control how you feel. Abe says that is allowing the cart before the horse.

Anything that happens within the physical is 'old news'. What is manifesting is the result of your predominate thoughts and beliefs. If you are coming face to face with people and events that are unwanted, then you are giving your attention to thoughts about what you do not want. That is LOA in action.

If you are primarily giving your attention to thoughts and beliefs that please you LOA will only bring what is pleasing to you, what is a vibrational match to you. It all starts with you and what you are thinking about. How you feel about what you are thinking about is your emotional guidance system telling you if you are in vibrational alinement with the view point of your InnerBeing or not.

If you are feeling angry, that feels bad. That means what you primarily give your attention to is not what your IB primarily gives It's attention to. Pay closer attention to how you feel about what you are thinking moment to moment on a more consistent basis. Whenever you become aware of feelings that are uncomfortable, stop and reach for more pleasing, relaxed pleasant thoughts.

The more you shift away from the unpleasant unwanted thoughts the better your experiences will become with others. This is LOA in action. You will just not rendezvous with situations that are unpleasant, because you will be less and less of a vibrational match to unpleasantness.

[EverHereNow]

I am angry at this one person, because he is pressuring me at something he is afraid of. It's like misery loves company, and he wants me to be his company. I am in that situation where I cannot get away from him, and I have to listen to his fear. This pressures me a lot, because I can't get him to stop fearing whatever it is he is scared about.

Whenever he talks to me about it, in my mind i go "Uh-oh, here we go again". I try not to listen, and think of something else during that conversation just to prevent myself from getting angry.

I really need to understand this further. I will try your suggestion. Thank you Sheerluck.

[zenjenn]

It's hard in an angry state to coach yourself away from the thoughts that the other person is causing it, even if its true that they aren't, but you can soften your response like slh suggests. I used this technique this am when my mom made a critical remark about how i spend $. The first reaction was to jump to anger, but then in my anger I soothed myself by acknowledging that she has a very concerned vibration about $ in general so I wouldn't expect her to agree. It was just enough to lift the anger off the surface. It indeed takes practice to soften from a place of strong emotion, but over time it will work...

The other thing I wanted to add is that source does not judge you for your anger. They cheer you on in the sense that at least your feeling your guidence. If you soften the angst around it knowing its only helping you reach a new level then you won't beat yourself up everytime it does occur.

[paradise-on-earth]

Just one piece:

what others do shouldn't affect me

Who cares! You "should" not be anywhere.
The only thing you really "should do" is be aware of where you are ("You are where you are- just make peace with it!"-Abe), and look for the next tiny step of relief.

There´s nothing else you really COULD do- and doing it is enough. It´s "the work".

[EverHereNow]

It's hard in an angry state to coach yourself away from the thoughts that the other person is causing it, even if its true that they aren't, but you can soften your response like slh suggests. I used this technique this am when my mom made a critical remark about how i spend $. The first reaction was to jump to anger, but then in my anger I soothed myself by acknowledging that she has a very concerned vibration about $ in general so I wouldn't expect her to agree. It was just enough to lift the anger off the surface. It indeed takes practice to soften from a place of strong emotion, but over time it will work...

The other thing I wanted to add is that source does not judge you for your anger. They cheer you on in the sense that at least your feeling your guidence. If you soften the angst around it knowing its only helping you reach a new level then you won't beat yourself up everytime it does occur.

Oh, that's a good one: acknowledge the person's fear. That actually leads to compassion. I can do that.

[paradise-on-earth]

And an other piece: Anger is a kind of guard. It makes you aware, that (when you come from frustration) you are now drifting off into danger-zone. It get´s your attention.
And on the other hand- when you come from disempowerment and guilt, it´s "the breath of fresh air that makes you aware of your preferences again" (Abe).

Anger is a wonderful guiding emotion, and a true friend. Just "don´t make a career out of it"!

[EverHereNow]

Just one piece:

Who cares! You "should" not be anywhere.
The only thing you really "should do" is be aware of where you are ("You are where you are- just make peace with it!"-Abe), and look for the next tiny step of relief.

There´s nothing else you really COULD do- and doing it is enough. It´s "the work".

So being angry is ok, right? Nothing to be guilty about?

[paradise-on-earth]

Nothing to be guilty about?

Nooooo, NEVER!!! Guilt is on the "wrong side" of anger!
Be proud that you´r in power, that you found clarity, and SLIGHTLY reach for some relief- but not before you enjoyed your anger long enough and get bored of it

[EverHereNow]

Nooooo, NEVER!!! Guilt is on the "wrong side" of anger!
Be proud that you´r in power, that you found clarity, and SLIGHTLY reach for some relief- but not before you enjoyed your anger long enough and get bored of it

Ok. Thank you, I'll keep that in mind. Although I would work on not getting angry at all first and foremost.