I would love some help...

[Karisma]

Tonight I have a meeting with my ex best friend/complicated love relationship. We ended things about a month or so ago, just because we were fighting all the time, but we both really really love each other and actually are both still in love with each other, even though we can't seem to make the complicated relationship we had work.

she met someone else, and tonight, I know she is going to tell me that they are officially together. It's hard because on one hand, I truly truly love her and I want her to be happy, and I feel like though I can make her happy in some ways, I was hard on her because she was the only girl I had ever been with and I still felt, as much as I loved her, that I wanted to be with a guys (and we both were on and off)....and she, she wants a family and kids and a bunch of things I am not sure I even want...I told her the last time we talked, when she was telling me she didn't know what to do, because she was in love with me still but that she really likes this girl and she wants everything she wants..I told her to be with her... it was heartbreaking, literally, but even though I wanted her and I to try again, I felt like I couldn't stand in the way of something that might ultimately be best for her...and that felt like what the universe was intending..

Anyway, I still love her and I am in love with her so so deeply. I know she loves me the same way. I still feel like all I really want is her, just because i feel sooooooo much for her...even though it seems life has other plans...I feel like I have never been so compatible ever with someone physically, emotionally, spiritually, intimately...its like we were always in perfect sync, It always always felt like heaven when we were alone together, honestly, the best feeling ever...I am scared I will never find that kind of compatibility again. It feels like the most important thing to me, and I would give up anything for it...

I could just use some encouragement...I'm sad to say goodbye. I love her so much...I know that this is probably for the best but I feel like I am giving up something, or the universe is taking, something that I really really want and that means the world to me...It's like I am going over there to say goodbye, when all I really want is to be together all night like we used to, laugh, hang out, be in love...wake up in the morning and do it again....

[Hearts of Summer]

from the Portland workshop last weekend


"So when you say to someone not just "I LOVE you," you say to them,
"I LOVE loving you.
It is MY pleasure. I am loving myself as greatly as I could ever love by my love for you.
I need NOTHING back from you in return.
It is MY focus upon YOU and the way it FEELS as I focus it.
It's MY focus upon you, future creation of mine, future empire that I am building,
future job that I'm working on, future whatever it is that I'm gathering.
It's my love and appreciation, that YOU EXIST as an object of attention
to which I can give my undivided attention,
my undivided attention as I PURR myself into ALIGNMENT."
Portland, OR on 8/11/12

[paradise-on-earth]

Oh HoS- THAT is better than what I had in mind!!

Karisma- how about training at this occasion to be happy UNCONDITIONALLY? Just radiating love,radiating happines because YOU CHOOSE to be happy, without any expectation, without being hurtable, using each moment to praise and enjoy.
Wouldn´t THAT be a special night- no matter what?

[intrigued]

Your whole post smacks of a belief that you're not a deliberate creator.

You could actually turn this situation into what you want by directing your thoughts only to what you want. This doesn't mean you'll get with her - although it could. It just means this situation coudld be a lot more pleasurable for you if you decide that it will.

So, if you feel ready enough, ignore what is (the "reality" of the current situation with her) and think about what you WANT.

Literally, no matter how absurd it may sound, decide what you want and focus on that.

Either you're a deliberate creator or you're not. Currently it sounds like you're making yourself a victim of the situation which is all under your control.

You can do it!

[transformations]

Your whole post smacks of a belief that you're not a deliberate creator.

You could actually turn this situation into what you want by directing your thoughts only to what you want. This doesn't mean you'll get with her - although it could. It just means this situation coudld be a lot more pleasurable for you if you decide that it will.

So, if you feel ready enough, ignore what is (the "reality" of the current situation with her) and think about what you WANT.

Literally, no matter how absurd it may sound, decide what you want and focus on that.

Either you're a deliberate creator or you're not. Currently it sounds like you're making yourself a victim of the situation which is all under your control.

You can do it!

Exactly, Intrigued! Karisma - Distract, distract, distract from what is! Read a book, get a massage, take a walk and/or, watch a funny movie, listen to Abe cds or watch YouTube videos. But most of all, let go of the "situation", turn it over to your IB and the beauty of all that is in your Vortex. Hugs!

[Hands in the Clay]

So, back to the basics, Karisma. What's your only job? To feel good. How do you do that? You reach for better- and better-feeling thoughts that generate a feeling of relief inside you, whatever those thoughts may be, whether on the subject or not, whether by going general or being specific at a different rung of the EGS, whether through distraction or rationalization.

That's what you do. That's all you ever do. That's your job. The rest takes care of itself, coming through inspiration, rendezvous, extracting other vibrational responses from others, aligning with opportunities instead of zigging and zagging. Your ONLY job is to feel better, using the many tools and processes you have at your disposal. That's it.

Off you go! (and I would suggest you ratchet back a bit from the melodramatic story...your connection with this person is eternal, always will be, and you're making a really big deal out of this particular lifetime of expansion when you've had plenty other lifetimes with this person and will have plenty more...the two of you are just two animated physical bodies serving as extensions of much larger beings, bumping around down here in the contrast of a time-space reality....You're drowning your perspective in What-Is, can't you see? Remember who you are!!!!)

[paradise-on-earth]

"LIKE" that very much, HitC!

[lovingit]

What they said!

What struck me about your post was the flip-flopping between wanted and unwanted:-

I love her but, we're great together but, we love each other but, we're a perfect match but..

just leave the BUT's out of the conversation, out of your mental commentary. Just STOP doing that thing you do, that thing we all do of saying what you want and then listing the reasons why you 'can't' have what you want.

Keep it general, keep it VERY general until you've got into the feelings you want to feel and then let the specifics occur to you/manifest for you.

At the very least you've been marvellous co-creators, using the contrast-y bits, and the good bits of your relationship with each other to create the most fantastic perfect relationship...

ALL you have to do now, is focus on how that pefect relationship, the one that's in your vortex, FEELS.

Think about how that relationship feels, and practise those feelings...

I'd start with ease and comfortable, and welcoming, and loving.... (but that's just me) What I'm saying is, start with a feeling that's not a huge stretch from where you are... that's the 'starting point' of feelin good... i.e. easy, comfortable... and then expand from there... and if you've got into the feeling of ease, you won't even have to think about it too much, the other wanted feeling 'thought's' will just flow from you.

Just ease up about this, ease up on yourself and her, this is just one meeting, whatever is said or done, or even felt, it's still only temporary and need have no bearing on the future unless you choose for it to...

Just chill, dude, you can do it.

With love,

Rach

[Salynn]

Just decide that you are going to love her and the situation as it is. Make peace with things as they are. You will feel better. Don't mind how things will turn out, just focus on you feeling happy. Thats all that matters

[admodi86]

So, back to the basics, Karisma. What's your only job? To feel good. How do you do that? You reach for better- and better-feeling thoughts that generate a feeling of relief inside you, whatever those thoughts may be, whether on the subject or not, whether by going general or being specific at a different rung of the EGS, whether through distraction or rationalization.

That's what you do. That's all you ever do. That's your job. The rest takes care of itself, coming through inspiration, rendezvous, extracting other vibrational responses from others, aligning with opportunities instead of zigging and zagging. Your ONLY job is to feel better, using the many tools and processes you have at your disposal. That's it.

Off you go! (and I would suggest you ratchet back a bit from the melodramatic story...your connection with this person is eternal, always will be, and you're making a really big deal out of this particular lifetime of expansion when you've had plenty other lifetimes with this person and will have plenty more...the two of you are just two animated physical bodies serving as extensions of much larger beings, bumping around down here in the contrast of a time-space reality....You're drowning your perspective in What-Is, can't you see? Remember who you are!!!!)

The fact that I am a match to this makes me feel soooooo good! Wanna hug myself!

HiTC