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Thread: Why bother to feel good NOW?

  1. #61
    Super Moderator WellBeing's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by LadyGaba View Post
    I L.O.V.E this thread!
    I have a question, though. I am trying to feel better and I know I'm not pushing it, but I feel tightness in my throat. It almost seems I'm not able to move forward. I have to say it is frustrating!
    Has anyone experienced the same? Does anyone have any advice?
    Since you've read the thread, you'll understand what I mean when I say that the way that you "feel good NOW" is not to focus on the one thing that's going in a way other than you want it. So you have your guidance telling you that focusing on this one part of your body (let alone, this one part of your entire life experience) isn't "feel good NOW," right? Of course, you could try to feel "better" NOW about this one aspect of your body but I'm going to guess here that telling the story of how it's preventing your progress might not be the way to go about feeling "better" NOW. Can you see what I'm getting at?

    It's so much easier to decide to "feel good NOW" and then, when you're confronted with a manifestation like your throat, recognise "Ooops, that's not my way to 'feel good NOW' which I've decided I want to do. What could be easier for me to 'feel good NOW' about?" And then focus on that. Does that make sense?

  2. #62
    Quote Originally Posted by WellBeing View Post
    Since you've read the thread, you'll understand what I mean when I say that the way that you "feel good NOW" is not to focus on the one thing that's going in a way other than you want it. So you have your guidance telling you that focusing on this one part of your body (let alone, this one part of your entire life experience) isn't "feel good NOW," right? Of course, you could try to feel "better" NOW about this one aspect of your body but I'm going to guess here that telling the story of how it's preventing your progress might not be the way to go about feeling "better" NOW. Can you see what I'm getting at?

    It's so much easier to decide to "feel good NOW" and then, when you're confronted with a manifestation like your throat, recognise "Ooops, that's not my way to 'feel good NOW' which I've decided I want to do. What could be easier for me to 'feel good NOW' about?" And then focus on that. Does that make sense?
    Thanks! It does make sense.

  3. #63
    Super Moderator WellBeing's Avatar
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    I'm glad you found that helpful!

  4. #64
    Quote Originally Posted by Hands in the Clay View Post
    I posted the below "do the work" rampage on February 4th just before the “crash” and it generated some resistance about its stringency and 'efforting' energy, and I’m posting it here again, because it’s all about the Now and one way I know to be effective about LEARNING to feel good now. Yeah, it takes some practice. Yes, it might not be like your current life, because change requires....change. It takes a little time to learn new habits, and it takes awareness to really SEE/FEEL what you are letting your brain get away with. When you let your brain get away with wandering down habitual negative pathways, well, you're just generating that habitual negative vibration that's holding away all that glorious stuff you've created with your Rockets of Desire.

    If you're down in Orneryland or Mediocreland, this might be what it takes. I've even had folks say, "What if you just came and lived with me for a month, then I'd really get the hang of this." Well, THIS is the hang of this. It might not be your cup of tea. In short: Enjoy what’s good when you’re in it, and tweak what’s not good when you’re in that, all the time.

    May it be of service to someone.


    *************

    If I was with you, where you live, there in your house or apartment, just following you around all day long, you would SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO get what I mean by paying close attention to how you feeeeeeeeeeeel NOW!

    I’d be there with you in the kitchen while you’re getting some soup down from the cupboard, and suddenly I’d say, “How are you feeling RIGHT NOW THIS VERY SECOND?” And you’d stop, and you’d say, “Oh, yeah, well…um, I was thinking about how I’d kinda rather not eat this soup, because I’m pretty sure it’s past the freshness date -- yeah, it is -- , but things are kind of tight right now, so I’m just going to tough it out and eat what’s here, I can go shopping in about 10 days when I get paid.” “And what does that feeeeeeeeeeeel like?” I’d ask. “Um, some anxiety about money, shame, don’t like eating out-of-date food, makes my stomach clench up, not all that hungry…wish things were better.” And I’d tell you to CLEAN THAT UP RIGHT NOW and make you sit down and find better-feeling thoughts on money, food, that waiting-for-payday feeling, and the nourishment choices you’re making for yourself.

    And then I’d be sitting in a corner of your bedroom as you’re getting ready for bed, as you’re taking off your shirt, and then I’d blurt out, “What emotion is in your soul right now?” And you’d be startled, 'cuz you were lost in your thoughts, and you’d say, “Not liking my abs like they are, feeling bad because I had a New Year’s resolution to go to the gym this year and I actually haven’t started yet.” And I’d make you sit down and watch Think and Get Slim and then do two focus wheels on your body. And then a list of positive aspects of that same body. And then I’d ask you if your body thoughts were connected to other thoughts, and you’d say, “Yes, I don’t think I’m attractive enough for lovers and I need to get more cut and firmer before I really can be in bed with someone.” And I’d have you do APOE BFT work on 1) your body, 2) what you think your lovers’ standards are, and 3) your own standards for the bodies of your lovers.

    And then I’d hear you as you wake up in the middle of the night, tossing in bed, and I’d say, “What are you thinking right now?” And you’d say, “I had this tense dream, I was at this party and I was supposed to meet someone there and that person didn’t show up and then suddenly they were telling me I couldn’t stay if I was alone, and they were pushing me out the door, but I’d left my keys on the buffet table and couldn’t drive home without them, but they wouldn’t let me back in.” And I’d say, “So what emotions did that trigger?” And you’d tell me, “fear, panic, rejection, social anxiety, wanting others to hear me, wanting to be allowed to stay, to be a part of things” and I’d make you take each one of them, get a single emotional word for it, and shift it at least three rungs up the EGS.

    And then I’d see you at the computer, going onto the Abe Forum, and I’d sneak up behind you and say “What are you doing right now?” And you’d jump and say, “Uh, I was looking to see how many views I’d gotten on my thread, and see if Marc replied yet, but he didn’t.” And I’d say, “Why are you looking for the number of views?” “Because I want to know people are reading what I wrote.” “Why you CARE how many people are reading what you wrote?” And I’d make you do six pages in your journal about why you care so much what others think of you, times in your life when others’ opinions really “hurt” you, have you “rewrite” those moments in the past, then have you write a letter to your Inner Being about how you want to get to know it so much better. Then I’d have you move up the emotional scale on how you think others, like Marc, are so much smarter than you, and Tell a New Story, change the story you have about being some lost soul who needs others to approve of you or love you for you to be worthy, when you, YOU, are a mighty being, a powerful creator who is as wise and capable as anyone.

    And then you’d be getting ready to call your mom, like you do every Friday, and I’d catch you as you were picking up the phone and say, “How are you feeling right now?” And you’d say, “Sigh, kind of burdened, this isn’t always fun, she tends to complain a lot and I know she thinks I should be doing so much better in life, but if I don’t call her, I’ll hear about it from her and my dad for the next six months.” And I’d make you put down the phone and then we’d do 20 minutes of reframing your emotions around your mom, your reasons for calling or not calling, and then a session of segment intending for the rest of your Friday. And a half-dozen "Wouldn't it be nice if...?" sentences about the call to your mom. And then you'd call. Or not.

    And then we’d be in a restaurant, ordering a meal, and I’d stop you while you were looking at the menu, and say, “What are you feeling right now?” And you’d say, “Just kind of split – I really want the lasagna, but I know I should have the grilled chicken salad, otherwise, you know, all that body stuff....” And I’d make you read, out loud, the whole cookie example from APOE and then make you apply it to BOTH the lasagna AND the grilled chicken salad, and then have you make a meal decision and fully line up with that decision before ordering, no cheating, no shortcuts, and no food until you find alignment on it.

    And then we’d be getting ready to meet some of your acquaintances, and you’d be fussing with your hair in the mirror, and I’d jump into the bathroom behind you and say, “What are you doing?” “I’m just doing my hair,” you'd reply. “Why?” “Because I want to look good!” “What do you mean, ‘look good’?” I would ask. And you’d get pissed off and say, “What? What? What’s the problem? Can’t I look good if I want to????” And then I’d have you translate “I want to look good” into Abe-speak, so you could see how much that kind of “looking good” is to try to get others to approve of you, to fit in, so you can then observe their approval and then feel good about yourself, and then I’d make you do mirror work, looking yourself in the eye, until you could look at yourself and tell yourself you ARE good. You’d resist. Then you’d fake it. Then you’d start to flow with it. Then you’d cry and look down at your feet start to say how you hate yourself. And then you'd have a moment when suddenly you'd say that wasn't true, no, it wasn't true. Then you'd look back up at yourself, then you’d smile through the tears. And then I’d ask you to say to yourself, from that aligned place, how you looked. And feel what loving yourself is like.

    That’s what I would do. That’s what I would do to you every day for a month, two months. Every waking hour. Until you learned what it’s really like to make feeling good your TOP PRIORITY. Until you started to get a jump on my questions, figure them out for yourself, started asking yourself how you feel, and why you feel that way, every hour, all the time, and shifting it, on purpose. Just to figure it out before I annoyed you again with one more "how do you feeeeeeeeeeeel?" question and my overbearing surveillance of your every emotional state and action.

    And THEN I’d have to move out, because you’d be moving uptown, wanting more quiet time for your meditation, going out with new TITITO people, going to the gym with a smile on your face, taking off your shirt and admiring your abs in the mirror, meeting with your money managers, having enjoyable meals with your folks, and there'd be so many Abe and LoA books piled up in the living room that there was no more space for my blowup mattress
    .
    Never read this before but really good to read. I ve not been putting in half as much effort as this no wonder things have been sporadic. I want to commit myself fully to this work, I'm not going to beat myself up but I really need to do the above but I think I ve got a small or large self sabotage part of me that resists the actual work.
    I tell myself I haven't got time, I am not doing it right, does this work? Am I wasting my time? It's hard to change etc, I can't find a pen paper. Its too late you should have been doing the work all along. I should be further on than I am, blah blah blah
    Why do I do this to myself and deprive myself so much? Partly I think things may surface that I am not ready to handle or deal with. I get so impatient with the idea of having to make small shifts instead of being able to jump to where I want to be. (Bogus I know)
    New story:
    It's OK. My vortex is literally bursting ready to pop. Maybe a small shift will go along way. Perhaps I can get into the flow of this, perhaps I can imagine hitc focusing me on track, a mentor. I ve had success before. Its okay I can learn to embrace change and feel safer around change. Its ok I ve done well considering. I could really get into this, I could throw myself into this. I don't have to be perfect. I don't have to do perfect processes. It's safe for me to change. Sometimes we have to hit bottom before we bounce back up. I could find a study group. I can do this. I don't need to second guess myself I can write a new story in all areas.
    I have become use to the contrast of not enough money etc. I can release my grip and attachment to these old beliefs. They are no longer serving me I can let them go. Its safe to change
    I can begin molding them instead of them seemingly controlling me. I became complacent like I know this stuff but I stopped actually doing the work.
    Thanks for the above kick ass segment. The alternative of not doing the work has become more painful than actually doing it.
    I might set myself a goal of doing this for three days then recommit after that. I know I need to improve my ability to stick with this long term but I don't want to set unrealistic goals. Off to do the work bit by bit.

  5. #65
    What a great post HITC!
    FB, something I have in the toolbox, that I use on and off, is keeping a journal. I revived the idea of having a journal just last year, after reading another brilliant post of HITC, Change your Story, Change your Life. The journal is about addressing, to bring to a more clear view, both the pulviscolar dissatisfaction and the the big themes, and it's unbelievable the difference it makes to go to the nano-scale and verify those micro-stories you tell yourself. What we tell ourselves throughout the day about the small things can make such a difference, they can literally cut our legs or make us fly. Ever thought that being ITV is a far-away possibility? well it's not, just pay attention to the little pinches, and move them an ant-step, and get amazed.
    Last edited by night; 05-11-2015 at 04:13 AM.

  6. #66
    Quote Originally Posted by night View Post
    What a great post HITC!
    FB, something I have in the toolbox, that I use on and off, is keeping a journal. I revived the idea of having a journal just last year, after reading another brilliant post of HITC, Change your Story, Change your Life. The journal is about addressing, to bring to a more clear view, both the pulviscolar dissatisfaction and the the big themes, and it's unbelievable the difference it makes to go to the nano-scale and verify those micro-stories you tell yourself. What we tell ourselves throughout the day about the small things can make such a difference, they can literally cut our legs or make us fly. Ever thought that being ITV is a far-away possibility? well it's not, just pay attention to the little pinches, and move them an ant-step, and get amazed.
    Thank you Night! Will try post back later

  7. #67
    Super Moderator Hands in the Clay's Avatar
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    Bumping this for someone.

  8. #68
    Oh, I love this ”now” segment! Thank you for reminding us.

    I got an additional chuckle out of this Lady Gaba handle. Very witty!

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