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Thread: Question about not feeling emotions

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    Question about not feeling emotions

    I have some trouble with (not) feeling my emotions.
    I think I may be in a place of "sameness" where everything feels the same. Maybe "boredom", I don't know. But everything feels the same. Neither better or worse.
    I have no pain in my body, and I feel neutral in my solar plexus. So no pain, no headache, no knot in my stomach.
    I have tried to do many processes and I have read alot on this forum, but it's hard because I can't tell if a thought feels better or worse.

    In AAIIG and other Abe-books, where they give examples of the process #13 (Which thought feels better), every thought in the examples just feels (same, same, same).
    I can't find a better feeling thought, because I can't feel my thoughts, and I can't find a better thought by feeling first, because I can't tell what I am feeling :/

    I am just done meditating for 15 minutes, and I could quiet my mind, but I didn't feel much different afterwards. I have tried taking naps too, but naps usually make me tired, and not feeling better.

    And this is a very strange thing: When I watch Abraham YT-videos, it doesn't take long before I resonate with it, and start to feel good, so I know that I can feel good???? But only when I get influenced/wathever by Abrahams vibration when I listen to the recordings. And I can also feel good by listening to music, Abrahams new CD "Flying high Music" makes me feel very good. But not when I am trying to think my own "better-feeling" thoughts.
    I have tried to think and focused on many things, going very general about things, and I have tried to not reach too far to the positive, but I don't get a feeling response so I don't know what I can do?


    I have some other questions:

    1. How do you forum friends do it? Do you search around for thoughts that feels a little better? Does it take a while to find a BFT, or is it easy?
    2. When you think of something, do you get a feeling response instantly? Or do you have to think about that thing for 17+ seconds before you start feeling anything?

    Happy new year

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    Quote Originally Posted by EaseAndFlow View Post
    I have some trouble with feeling my emotions.
    I think I may be in a place of "sameness" where everything feels the same. Maybe "boredom", I don't know. But everything feels the same. Neither better or worse.
    I have no pain in my body, and I feel neutral in my solar plexus. So no pain, no headache, no knot in my stomach.
    I have tried to do many processes and I have read alot on this forum, but it's hard because I can't tell if a thought feels better or worse.

    In AAIIG and other Abe-books, where they give examples of the process #13 (Which thought feels better), every thought in the examples just feels (same, same, same).
    I can't find a better feeling thought, because I can't feel my thoughts, and I can't find a better thought by feeling first, because I can't tell what I am feeling :/

    I am just done meditating for 15 minutes, and I could quiet my mind, but I didn't feel much different afterwards. I haven't had much "drama" in my life lately. That maybe has something to do with this. And I have tried taking naps too, but they usually only make me feeling tired.

    And this is a very strange thing: When I watch Abraham YT-videos, it doesn't take long before I resonate with it, and start to feel good, so I know that I can feel good???? But only when I get influenced/wathever by Abrahams vibration when I listen to the recordings. And I can also feel good by listening to music, Abrahams new CD "Flying high Music" makes me feel very good. But not when I am trying to think my own "better-feeling" thoughts.
    I have tried to think and focused on many things, going very general about things, and I have tried to not reach too far to the positive, but I don't get a feeling response so I don't know what I can do?



    I have some additional questions:

    1. How do you forum friends do it? Do you search around for thoughts that feels a little better? Does it take a while to find a BFT, or is it easy?

    2. When you think of something, do you get a feeling responsive instantly? Or do you have to think about that thing for 17 seconds before you start feeling anything?

    Happy new year everybody
    Hi, happy new year to you too! So funny, I had the exact same question. Marc answered mine on my thread. If you wanna check his and many good responses, here: http://www.abeforum.com/showthread.p...thoughts-stuck

    If you know you can feel better, you're on the right track! You are aware of your emotional guidance system.

    Meditation can help you even experience higher states of allowance, which will have any habbitual thoughts that are out of alignment stand out more, and there's nothing you need to do about them but let them go and release resistance in that way. You have not even think a single thought to experience alignment

    Also, regarding thoughts, you need 17 seconds before you can truely feel the direction of a thought, in terms of vibration, in terms of feeling better or worse. It is very easy once you get the hang of it. Cause you will generate a broader sense of awareness of the general direction of all of your inner being's guidance. And once you are able to maintain that alignment. Woooh, the good stuff comes and really begins to show itself to you. The side effects of alignment are GREAT! Besides being already great unto itself

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    Quote Originally Posted by Inspirited View Post
    Hi, happy new year to you too! So funny, I had the exact same question. Marc answered mine on my thread. You should check it, on
    I will check it out!

    Quote Originally Posted by Inspirited View Post
    Also, regarding thoughts, you need 17 seconds before you can truely feel the direction of a thought, in terms of vibration, in terms of feeling better or worse. It is very easy once you get the hang of it.
    Okay, I may have been shifting my thoughts too fast sometimes, and thought that the feeling response should've come faster.

    Quote Originally Posted by Inspirited View Post
    The side effects of alignment are GREAT!
    Haha side effects I look forward to it.

  4. #4
    Super Moderator WellBeing's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by EaseAndFlow View Post
    I have some trouble with (not) feeling my emotions.
    When someone comes to us, saying, "I can't feel my emotions," it's typically for one of the following reasons:

    1. They've spent a lot of time at the bottom end of the Scale and, having no other choice, they did the best that they could do and practised ignoring their emotions. They instinctively knew that they wanted to feel better and that they could feel better, but ignoring/turning off/disassociating from/whatever-you-want-to-call-it their emotions was the only avenue towards relief for them at the time. In these instances, it's a simple matter of paying attention and practise. As you say later on, the ability is there. OR
    2. They are flitting from one thought to the next or one subject to the next and since LoA helps us to vibrate in the same range on most of the subjects of importance to ourselves, there's no shift in vibration from this subject to the next to the next. So, everything still feels the same, even though the subject is shifting rapidly. OR
    3. They aren't paying attention. OR
    4. They have practised an automatic habit of contradicting their own thought, so they flip back and forth so fast that it's hard to tell, kind of like with movies--the frames flip by at just the right speed that we can no longer discern the border between the frames.


    Quote Originally Posted by EaseAndFlow View Post
    I think I may be in a place of "sameness" where everything feels the same. Maybe "boredom", I don't know. But everything feels the same. Neither better or worse.
    That's an indication that you're not shifting your vibration, that you're more than likely just in the habit of thinking the same type of things about all the things that you think about. And, when you think about that, you might see that the LoA helps us in that regard. If we have a habit of thought about money and we're thinking a lot about money, then we're offering that particular vibration a lot of the time. So, the LoA has to match that vibration--not only on the topic of money but--on other subjects as well.

    In fact, Abraham have told the story of, if you have 10 topics of importance to you in your life with 1 of them going "well" and the other 9 "not well" and if you were to focus exclusively on that 1 "well" topic, the LoA will eventually cause the other 9 "not well" subjects to rise and match the vibration of the 1 "well" subject. (Typically, we humans do the opposite: If we have 1 "not well" subject and 9 "well" subjects, we tend to focus on and wrestle with and worry about that 1 "not well" subject. Because we're giving a lot of air-time to the "not well" subject, the LoA has to respond to that and eventually the other 9 subjects start to match the "not well" vibration.)

    Quote Originally Posted by EaseAndFlow View Post
    I have no pain in my body, and I feel neutral in my solar plexus. So no pain, no headache, no knot in my stomach.
    I have tried to do many processes and I have read alot on this forum, but it's hard because I can't tell if a thought feels better or worse.
    When we talk about "feeling better," we're not talking about physical sensations as you're looking at here. We mean feel better emotionally, moving from Frustration to Irritation or Frustration to Calm or from Boredom to Happy, etc. It's true that, as you shift your vibration and you do it consistently, you'll get enough momentum that you can manifest physical sensations, but that's down the road, not at the beginning of the process. So you might be looking at unhelpful indicators, which is common.

    Since you've brought this up in this way, perhaps you're misunderstanding what we mean by "feel better"? Are you telling us that you can't feel the difference between a Happy thought and a Sad thought? Or a worrisome thought and a hopeful thought? Or are you just not able to reach from one of those to the other? To me, they're different things.

    Quote Originally Posted by EaseAndFlow View Post
    In AAIIG and other Abe-books, where they give examples of the process #13 (Which thought feels better), every thought in the examples just feels (same, same, same).
    The examples feel "the same" because--and I'm sure you've heard us talk about this here--Abraham ask us to feel slightly better. They used to call it "lean in the direction of." That's because there's a tendency (we've had a number of recent conversations about this here on the Forum--have you seen?) for people not liking being "here" and wanting to jump all the way over "there." And perhaps you might be doing a similar thing by achieving a small shift yet dismissing it as "same" because it's not all the way over "there" where you want to be emotionally.

    Quote Originally Posted by EaseAndFlow View Post
    I can't find a better feeling thought, because I can't feel my thoughts, and I can't find a better thought by feeling first, because I can't tell what I am feeling :/
    Again, are you telling us that you can't feel the difference between a Joy-ful thought and a Depressing thought?

    If that's not it, give us an example here of what you're talking about and maybe we'll have a better idea.

    Quote Originally Posted by EaseAndFlow View Post
    And this is a very strange thing: When I watch Abraham YT-videos, it doesn't take long before I resonate with it, and start to feel good, so I know that I can feel good???? But only when I get influenced/wathever by Abrahams vibration when I listen to the recordings. And I can also feel good by listening to music, Abrahams new CD "Flying high Music" makes me feel very good. But not when I am trying to think my own "better-feeling" thoughts.
    This story leads me to suspect that you are distracting yourself from a persistent habit of "same" thought with the music and the clips, which is telling me that you're responding to what you're observing. So, you've got a nice little loop going on: I observe the conditions around --> I offer my vibration in response to what I observe --> Since I'm looking at the same things in the same way, I'm offering the same vibration --> My "same" vibration keeps creating "same" conditions for me to observe --> etc.

    Of course, there's ways out of that cycle. One way would be to start observing the "same" things in new, better-feeling ways. And there are other ways as well, but I'm getting ahead of myself.

    Quote Originally Posted by EaseAndFlow View Post
    1. How do you forum friends do it? Do you search around for thoughts that feels a little better? Does it take a while to find a BFT, or is it easy?
    It all depends on what each of us have practised. Sometimes we've practised a lot of momentum towards our unwanted so it might take a while or it might feel take some poking around. But it's doable.

    Quote Originally Posted by EaseAndFlow View Post
    2. When you think of something, do you get a feeling response instantly? Or do you have to think about that thing for 17+ seconds before you start feeling anything?
    The emotion follows the thought almost in the same instant. It's why Abraham call it "real-time" guidance. It's giving you accurate, in-the-moment information about where you stand in relationship to your IB at any given moment. Whether a person can perceive that guidance depends on how they've trained themselves. Have they trained themselves to pay attention to how they feel and can they discern the subtleties of vibration? Or are they just starting to work with their emotions and will need bigger vibrational movements before they can discern their vibrational shift? It varies from individual to individual.

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    Quote Originally Posted by WellBeing View Post
    The emotion follows the thought almost in the same instant. It's why Abraham call it "real-time" guidance. It's giving you accurate, in-the-moment information about where you stand in relationship to your IB at any given moment. Whether a person can perceive that guidance depends on how they've trained themselves. Have they trained themselves to pay attention to how they feel and can they discern the subtleties of vibration? Or are they just starting to work with their emotions and will need bigger vibrational movements before they can discern their vibrational shift? It varies from individual to individual.
    So is it possible for someone actually see or feel or sense vibration in things you look at, before even focusing on it? Like instantly.

    For example, I write two thoughts, focus on them and then feel one worse and one better. Is it possible for someone to look at them, without reading it and emmediatly sense where they are at vibrationally and which one is higher or lower in resistance? Does that come when you're higher in alignment, you can sense more precisely how much resistance is in things, and in what way? Cause I'd assume you'd feel the thing as having resistance to your very own vibration of being all of who you are, naturally.

  6. #6

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    Quote Originally Posted by WellBeing View Post
    When someone comes to us, saying, "I can't feel my emotions," it's typically for one of the following reasons:

    1. They've spent a lot of time at the bottom end of the Scale and, having no other choice, they did the best that they could do and practised ignoring their emotions. They instinctively knew that they wanted to feel better and that they could feel better, but ignoring/turning off/disassociating from/whatever-you-want-to-call-it their emotions was the only avenue towards relief for them at the time.
    Yes, I have read some threads about "feeling numb" and have seen people suggesting that could mean one is in depression. I don't think that's it in my case, but I'm not sure.

    Quote Originally Posted by WellBeing View Post
    That's an indication that you're not shifting your vibration, that you're more than likely just in the habit of thinking the same type of things about all the things that you think about. And, when you think about that, you might see that the LoA helps us in that regard. If we have a habit of thought about money and we're thinking a lot about money, then we're offering that particular vibration a lot of the time. So, the LoA has to match that vibration--not only on the topic of money but--on other subjects as well.

    In fact, Abraham have told the story of, if you have 10 topics of importance to you in your life with 1 of them going "well" and the other 9 "not well" and if you were to focus exclusively on that 1 "well" topic, the LoA will eventually cause the other 9 "not well" subjects to rise and match the vibration of the 1 "well" subject. (Typically, we humans do the opposite: If we have 1 "not well" subject and 9 "well" subjects, we tend to focus on and wrestle with and worry about that 1 "not well" subject. Because we're giving a lot of air-time to the "not well" subject, the LoA has to respond to that and eventually the other 9 subjects start to match the "not well" vibration.)
    This does make sense, but what if one would often distract oneself with thinking about many small "distraction subjects" like bubbles, kitties and so on, and feeling very good thinking about these light and easy subjects. Would the vibration of money, relationships, and other big subjects get improved just by doing that?
    For example: If Bill have some resistance and negative beliefs towards money, and everytime he found himself starting to think about money, he manages, before much momentum gets going, to distract himself completely from the subject just by thinking about kitties insted. And feeling good when thinking about kitties. And he does this everytime "money" comes up in his experience. Would his wobble about money eventually stop automatically then? Without him doing any "work" to clean the resistance?

    Quote Originally Posted by WellBeing View Post
    When we talk about "feeling better," we're not talking about physical sensations as you're looking at here. We mean feel better emotionally, moving from Frustration to Irritation or Frustration to Calm or from Boredom to Happy, etc. It's true that, as you shift your vibration and you do it consistently, you'll get enough momentum that you can manifest physical sensations, but that's down the road, not at the beginning of the process. So you might be looking at unhelpful indicators, which is common.

    Since you've brought this up in this way, perhaps you're misunderstanding what we mean by "feel better"? Are you telling us that you can't feel the difference between a Happy thought and a Sad thought? Or a worrisome thought and a hopeful thought? Or are you just not able to reach from one of those to the other? To me, they're different things.

    The examples feel "the same" because--and I'm sure you've heard us talk about this here--Abraham ask us to feel slightly better. They used to call it "lean in the direction of." That's because there's a tendency (we've had a number of recent conversations about this here on the Forum--have you seen?) for people not liking being "here" and wanting to jump all the way over "there." And perhaps you might be doing a similar thing by achieving a small shift yet dismissing it as "same" because it's not all the way over "there" where you want to be emotionally.


    Again, are you telling us that you can't feel the difference between a Joy-ful thought and a Depressing thought?

    If that's not it, give us an example here of what you're talking about and maybe we'll have a better idea.
    I was very unclear in my first post but I do understand that there is a big difference with feeling better emotionally and feeling better physically. Or maybe I don't. Maybe I don't get it in the right perspective. What I have been trying to feel for is an improved feeling in my solar plexus, which I guess is a part of my physical body? But I know how wonderful it feels when I listen to Abe-recordinigs, and in my solar plexus. Maybe it's that feeling I have been reaching and maybe that's too big of a gap you maybe are right, Hmmm.. Interesting!

    You want to know something? Some minutes ago before I wrote this I actually felt something. I thiiiink it felt a little better than before I focued on my Maine Coon cat and asked myself the question: What is it that I love so much about you? in my mind and started to think about why I loved him. I did this longer than usual and I actually felt something, tbh, it felt better than what I was feeling before! Progress :O

    Btw, I don't get the whole EGS-thing. Is it different on all your subjects in life? Is there one EGS for your life in general? Do you even have to know where you are on the EGS or is it enough to just feel better? Is it always right if it feels better? If I would try to reach too far that wouldn't feel better, right?

    Quote Originally Posted by WellBeing View Post
    This story leads me to suspect that you are distracting yourself from a persistent habit of "same" thought with the music and the clips, which is telling me that you're responding to what you're observing. So, you've got a nice little loop going on: I observe the conditions around --> I offer my vibration in response to what I observe --> Since I'm looking at the same things in the same way, I'm offering the same vibration --> My "same" vibration keeps creating "same" conditions for me to observe --> etc.

    Of course, there's ways out of that cycle. One way would be to start observing the "same" things in new, better-feeling ways. And there are other ways as well, but I'm getting ahead of myself.
    WB, I think this is it tbh. I haven't noticed before how much I have been observing without offering thoughts deliberately. Thank you so much, thank you.
    Wow, lately I have beaten myself up a little bit with the idea of cleaning up negative beliefs. "Cleaning up beliefs" have sounded like not-so-fun-work to me.
    "observing the "same" things in new, better-feeling ways" actually does sounds like fun. I actually feel excited to experiment with this now

    Quote Originally Posted by WellBeing View Post
    Or are they just starting to work with their emotions and will need bigger vibrational movements before they can discern their vibrational shift? It varies from individual to individual.
    Seriously, I have been shifting thoughts and subjects too fast. And I have been observing much as you said. Wow, my situation is starting to make some sense.

    Now I am going to get some sleep, and I am looking forward to waking up and continue to experiment with this tomorrow with refreshed momentum!

  7. #7
    some people resonate more with noticing what feels truer
    I use both, in fact I like what feels truer quite a lot

  8. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by EaseAndFlow View Post
    Yes, I have read some threads about "feeling numb" and have seen people suggesting that could mean one is in depression. I don't think that's it in my case, but I'm not sure.
    It doesn't necessarily mean someone is in depression, just that they're used to feeling a particular way and doing that consistently.

    Quote Originally Posted by EaseAndFlow View Post
    This does make sense, but what if one would often distract oneself with thinking about many small "distraction subjects" like bubbles, kitties and so on, and feeling very good thinking about these light and easy subjects. Would the vibration of money, relationships, and other big subjects get improved just by doing that?
    It can. The thing that people miss when they do this work is that they don't realize just how powerful LOA is. So when you're focused on something, LOA isn't just responding to the specifics, it's also responding to the general. Abraham has used the term "vibrational relevance" in explaining this. So using your example, you're focused on kitties and you're feeling good. Now LOA isn't just responding to the specifics of kitties, it's also responding to the general vibration that's going on that feels good. In other words, because you're feeling good, now you're match to other things that feel good, which includes money, love, success, and so on.

    It also works in reverse -- you're focused on something that feels bad to you and LOA isn't just responding to those specifics, it's matching you up to other things that feel bad. It's why something unwanted will enter into someone's experience and they'll come here and say, "I never thought about _______," but what they're missing is that they've been spending plenty of time focused on other things that feel like this unwanted thing feels.
    Quote Originally Posted by EaseAndFlow View Post
    For example: If Bill have some resistance and negative beliefs towards money, and everytime he found himself starting to think about money, he manages, before much momentum gets going, to distract himself completely from the subject just by thinking about kitties insted. And feeling good when thinking about kitties. And he does this everytime "money" comes up in his experience. Would his wobble about money eventually stop automatically then? Without him doing any "work" to clean the resistance?
    It certainly can, especially if Bill spends more time on things that feel good to him and gives less airtime to his resistance around money, things will probably loosen up for him. Now a big subject that comes up frequently is often tough to avoid completely, so it wouldn't hurt him to soften his resistance around money. But that said, Abraham used to remind us frequently that you could have 99 things in your life going wrong and 1 that's going right, and if you spend your time focused on the 1 subject that's going right, the other 99 have to improve. That's because if you're spending your focus on what's going right, LOA has to shift your experience to match that.
    Quote Originally Posted by EaseAndFlow View Post
    You want to know something? Some minutes ago before I wrote this I actually felt something. I thiiiink it felt a little better than before I focued on my Maine Coon cat and asked myself the question: What is it that I love so much about you? in my mind and started to think about why I loved him. I did this longer than usual and I actually felt something, tbh, it felt better than what I was feeling before!? Progress!!
    Exactly. It requires some focus in order to shift things, but it's certainly within your grasp.

    Quote Originally Posted by EaseAndFlow View Post
    Btw, I don't get the whole EGS-thing. Is it different on all your subjects in life?
    That's often the case. You might really like one thing or really not like something else.
    Quote Originally Posted by EaseAndFlow View Post
    Is there one EGS for your life in general?
    Yes, Abraham would describe that as your vibrational set point. It's the sort of average of what you generally focus upon and how you feel about those things. Doesn't mean you're at that at that place with everything, there will probably be highs and lows, but on balance that's the general mix you have going on.
    Quote Originally Posted by EaseAndFlow View Post
    I can't be so high on the EGS with my life in gereral or? Shouldn't loving my cat be too big of a gap for me? Do you even have to know where you are on the EGS or is it enough to just feel better? Is it always right if it feels better? If I would try to reach too far that wouldn't feel better wouldn't it?
    You've hit the nail on the head: The only thing that matters is that you feel better. Now sometimes knowing where you are on the EGS is helpful because once you have a good idea of where you are, it gives you an idea of what might feel better. For example, if you're at worry, disappointment is an improvement and usually feels better. But if you're at worry and you try to jump to contentment, usually that's not a jump you can make.

  9. #9
    OK some of these are symptoms of depression, you are a wonderful person and all the Abe stuff will help you tremendously. However, I suggest seeing someone, a counsellor or anyone you feel you can talk to about the emotional numbness

  10. #10
    Super Moderator WellBeing's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by squeak View Post
    OK some of these are symptoms of depression, you are a wonderful person and all the Abe stuff will help you tremendously. However, I suggest seeing someone, a counsellor or anyone you feel you can talk to about the emotional numbness
    While counselors are helpful, talented people who give their clients incentive to raise their vibration up from "depression," Abraham teach us that we have the ability to raise our own vibration ourselves. In fact, there are a great number of similarlities between the earlier Processes and the exercises of some branches of psychology. Whether you raise your vibration in co-operation with a "counselor" or by yourself makes no real difference. The key is that you've raised your vibration.

    Abraham tell us not to try to get to the "bottom" of anything, because the LoA will bring you more of what we focus upon, so there is no "bottom." Along the same vein, if you talk about the emotional numbness (which means you're focusing on the emotional numbness), the LoA will bring to you more "emotional numbness," because the LoA brings to you more of what you focus upon. This is why some people can spend a decade or more, talking to a counselor.

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