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Thread: Question about not feeling emotions

  1. #141
    EaseAndFlow
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    Quote Originally Posted by WellBeing View Post
    You answered your own question in your asking of it: you practice it. You attempt to do what you want to. You do it to the best of your ability. And then, when you are not doing it any longer, you attempt to do it again. Rinse, repeat. You keep practicing it until you are able to do what you want in the way you want to do it.

    That's the way you learned everything that you do. It's no different here. There's no magic trick that makes this any different.
    I understand, and I believe I'm doing my best that I know how to do. I don't think that my issue is that I'm not willing enough to change my focus. I understand this in theory but I haven't been able to make sense of it when it comes to practicing it. To me right now, it's not like learning how to play guitar for example, where it's easy to understand how to practice and you can just begin to do it. I really don't enjoy arguing for my limitations but it seems like my issue is more about how to direct my attention in the first place, if that makes sense. It's like if I was trying to learn how to play piano but I don't understand how it works to press down a key on the piano. It seems like I have some kind of screwy idea about that, that I'm noticing is an issue for me with this.

    It's not just about thinking about a subject like kittens, I'm noticing it when I'm observing my manifested reality also, there are so many things that are working out and that is wanted for me, but then I intend to focus more on those wanted aspects for example but I then seem to not quite understand how to do that, how to direct my mind in that way, and it's not so fun when that happens. I want to feel like I know how to direct my focus in the way I want to.

    Quote Originally Posted by WellBeing View Post
    (And I would question your statement that you are "unable" to think about kittens. As HitC sometimes says, if someone put a gun to your head and told you, "Think about kittens or I'll blow your brains out," chances are you will be able to find a fleeting thought about a kitten.)
    Yes, I would probably be able to speak some words about "kittens", if that would be what they were wanting to hear from me as evidence that I could think about kittens.

    Quote Originally Posted by Marc View Post
    I don't buy that for a second. If you wanted to, you could write things about kittens in the same way that you've proven that you could write things about bubbles.
    If I wrote down words about kittens right now for example, I don't get the sense of that I'm really focusing on kittens. It doesn't seem to me like I'm thinking thoughts about kittens. It feels to me like I'm just doing the action of writing down words about kittens, rather than focusing on kittens. But maybe that is inaccurate if it's true that we can only think one thought at a time.

    Quote Originally Posted by Marc View Post
    You're still trying to use this as a way to fix how you feel rather than taking your attention off of how you feel and put it on kittens.
    I'm not convinced that this is the case right now. That non-abe method that I mentioned earlier in this thread has helped me to feel more at peace with feeling unpleaseant emotions or feeling worse. I'm not really disliking the idea of "feeling worse" anymore. But I also know inside that I want to feel better.

    I don't even understand myself why I'm confused with this. I have never before in my life had any issues with "focusing". Thank you for your replies.

  2. #142
    Super Kitty Marc's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by EaseAndFlow View Post
    I don't think that my issue is that I'm not willing enough to change my focus.

    I disagree. If you REALLY wanted to change your focus by thinking about kittens, you'd be talking about kittens. Rather, you're intent on telling the story of how what you're doing isn't working, which is your favorite subject.
    Quote Originally Posted by EaseAndFlow View Post
    To me right now, it's not like learning how to play guitar for example, where it's easy to understand how to practice and you can just begin to do it.

    Sure it is. You could be talking about kittens even if you aren't focused on them quite in the way you want in the same way that you might intend to play an E flat and come nowhere near to playing an E flat on the guitar. You're just looking for some magic way to get different results even though you're still doing the same thing.

    Quote Originally Posted by EaseAndFlow View Post
    I really don't enjoy arguing for my limitations but it seems like my issue is more about how to direct my attention in the first place, if that makes sense. It's like if I was trying to learn how to play piano but I don't understand how it works to press down a key on the piano. It seems like I have some kind of screwy idea about that, that I'm noticing is an issue for me with this.

    That's just it, you don't need to "understand how it works to press down a key on the piano," in order to practice playing a piano. You don't need to understand the physics of how the string vibrates, or the frequency at which it vibrates. You don't have to understand the mechanics of how the key is attached to a little hammer that strikes the string in a particular way. You don't need to understand music theory and why certain notes and chords and the like go together in the ways they do. Much like a kitten that jumps onto the keyboard and has no understanding of any of that, the piano makes the appropriate sounds as the kitten walks across the keys nonetheless. Just stop analyzing and just practice.
    Quote Originally Posted by EaseAndFlow View Post
    It's not just about thinking about a subject like kittens, I'm noticing it when I'm observing my manifested reality also, there are so many things that are working out and that is wanted for me, but then I intend to focus more on those wanted aspects for example but I then seem to not quite understand how to do that, how to direct my mind in that way, and it's not so fun when that happens. I want to feel like I know how to direct my focus in the way I want to.

    It's not that you "don't understand" how to do that, it's that you're trying to make a vibrational jump that LOA won't let you make. When you're used to being on the lower end of the scale, LOA just isn't going to let you make a big jump to "focusing on those wanted aspects." That's part of what isn't working -- you want things to work in a way that they can't work. There's no magic way to direct your focus that's going to let you defy LOA. That's why the best thing you can do is to remove your attention from this topic for once and letting the momentum subside. You do that BY CHOOSING ANOTHER TOPIC. The thing is that if you keep noticing that how you feel hasn't shifted, YOU'RE NOT FOCUSING ON THE OTHER TOPIC.

    Quote Originally Posted by EaseAndFlow View Post
    If I wrote down words about kittens right now for example, I don't get the sense of that I'm really focusing on kittens. It doesn't seem to me like I'm thinking thoughts about kittens.
    Oh really? What's the difference?
    Quote Originally Posted by EaseAndFlow View Post
    It feels to me like I'm just doing the action of writing down words about kittens, rather than focusing on kittens. But maybe that is inaccurate if it's true that we can only think one thought at a time.
    In other words, you're saying that you believe you should FEEL DIFFERENTLY if you're "actually" thinking about kittens. That's exactly my point -- you're trying to use this as a tool to "fix" the way you feel. You just admitted it -- you insist that thinking about kittens will feel differently, and at first, that's just not going to be true.
    Quote Originally Posted by EaseAndFlow View Post
    I'm not convinced that this is the case right now. That non-abe method that I mentioned earlier in this thread has helped me to feel more at peace with feeling unpleaseant emotions or feeling worse. I'm not really disliking the idea of "feeling worse" anymore. But I also know inside that I want to feel better.
    Yes, yes, we've been over this many times. You want to feel better, but you're focused on the fact that you're not. It dominates your vibration and you're not willing to do anything differently until you do, but because you're aware that you're not, you can't feel better. We keep trying to coax you into focusing on ANYTHING else, but you've said it before -- you're simply not willing to be satisfied until you prove to yourself that you can feel the way you want to feel in a direct way (ie, not through distraction). That's why you're "stuck."
    Quote Originally Posted by EaseAndFlow View Post
    I don't even understand myself why I'm confused with this. I have never before in my life had any issues with "focusing". Thank you for your replies.
    You don't have them now. This is you manufacturing a problem that does not exist.

  3. #143
    EaseAndFlow
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    Quote Originally Posted by Marc View Post
    I disagree. If you REALLY wanted to change your focus by thinking about kittens, you'd be talking about kittens. Rather, you're intent on telling the story of how what you're doing isn't working, which is your favorite subject.
    I kind of see what you mean now..

    Quote Originally Posted by Marc View Post
    Sure it is. You could be talking about kittens even if you aren't focused on them quite in the way you want in the same way that you might intend to play an E flat and come nowhere near to playing an E flat on the guitar. You're just looking for some magic way to get different results even though you're still doing the same thing.
    Quote Originally Posted by Marc View Post
    That's just it, you don't need to "understand how it works to press down a key on the piano," in order to practice playing a piano. You don't need to understand the physics of how the string vibrates, or the frequency at which it vibrates. You don't have to understand the mechanics of how the key is attached to a little hammer that strikes the string in a particular way. You don't need to understand music theory and why certain notes and chords and the like go together in the ways they do. Much like a kitten that jumps onto the keyboard and has no understanding of any of that, the piano makes the appropriate sounds as the kitten walks across the keys nonetheless. Just stop analyzing and just practice.
    That does make sense. I understand what you mean.

    Quote Originally Posted by Marc View Post
    It's not that you "don't understand" how to do that, it's that you're trying to make a vibrational jump that LOA won't let you make. When you're used to being on the lower end of the scale, LOA just isn't going to let you make a big jump to "focusing on those wanted aspects." That's part of what isn't working -- you want things to work in a way that they can't work. There's no magic way to direct your focus that's going to let you defy LOA. That's why the best thing you can do is to remove your attention from this topic for once and letting the momentum subside. You do that BY CHOOSING ANOTHER TOPIC. The thing is that if you keep noticing that how you feel hasn't shifted, YOU'RE NOT FOCUSING ON THE OTHER TOPIC.
    I know that. I understand that I can only focus on one thing or thought at a time.

    Quote Originally Posted by Marc View Post
    Oh really? What's the difference?
    I think I had an idea of what "focusing" means that isn't serving me. I have thought that for example reading a book, watching a movie or listening to music is one kind of focus, but for this "work" another "kind" of focus is needed. I guess deliberately focusing is quite different than just watching a movie or listening to music, but maybe not in the way I thought.

    Quote Originally Posted by Marc View Post
    In other words, you're saying that you believe you should FEEL DIFFERENTLY if you're "actually" thinking about kittens. That's exactly my point -- you're trying to use this as a tool to "fix" the way you feel. You just admitted it -- you insist that thinking about kittens will feel differently, and at first, that's just not going to be true.

    Yes, yes, we've been over this many times. You want to feel better, but you're focused on the fact that you're not. It dominates your vibration and you're not willing to do anything differently until you do, but because you're aware that you're not, you can't feel better. We keep trying to coax you into focusing on ANYTHING else, but you've said it before -- you're simply not willing to be satisfied until you prove to yourself that you can feel the way you want to feel in a direct way (ie, not through distraction). That's why you're "stuck."

    You don't have them now. This is you manufacturing a problem that does not exist.
    Thank you so much for your post, Marc. It's very helpful for me right now. What I want, really, is personal experience of how it works. So I'm going to practice now.

  4. #144
    EaseAndFlow
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    I've been doing my best with this for the last 2 days, but I haven't succeeded. It's not like I try for 5 minutes and then give up, but I seriously try to do it with the best of my abilities. The only conclusion I can come to is that I must be doing it "wrong", but I don't understand how to practice it differently..

    I feel a bit "mentally disabled" from all of this that I've been doing to myself and I don't know what to do anymore. I think I might have been practicing an inaccurate idea of what "thinking" is, and I keep going back to that idea because it's what I've been practicing. Maybe I'm thinking that "thinking" is something "bigger" or "more advanced" than what it really is. But I can tell it's screwy because when I remember back to how I was seeing "thinking" or "focusing" pre-Abe seems different then how I'm seeing it now.

    I think it would be easier if I was more aware of my thoughts. I think that's the reason for why I've so quickly been taking score of whether or not my feelings had improved when attempting to do this process - because I haven't known how to instead be taking score of my thoughts / if I'm directing my thoughts in the way I want. It's clear to me when I try to do any of the AAIIG processes for example, I always kind of just assume what I'm thinking as my starting point for the process rather than sitting down and actually "listen" to my actual thoughts..

    Thanks for all replies, but I think I will have to give up on this soon.

  5. #145
    The answer is feel "better". What is it that makes feeling "better" so hard for you? Just feel "better" and follow the track of feeling "better". That's all.

  6. #146
    Super Moderator WellBeing's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by EaseAndFlow View Post
    I've been doing my best with this for the last 2 days, but I haven't succeeded.
    I don't see how that's possible as you are able to consistently and articulately tell us in great detail about this topic, which you don't want and which doesn't feel good to you as you do it. Just do the same thing that you're doing here with the topics of bubbles (as you had once done on this Forum) or kittens or your music, etc.

    Quote Originally Posted by EaseAndFlow View Post
    It's not like I try for 5 minutes and then give up, but I seriously try to do it with the best of my abilities.
    I have to question this because you've avoided every opportunity to do it here until your back was put to the wall.

    Quote Originally Posted by EaseAndFlow View Post
    I feel a bit "mentally disabled" from all of this...
    You are certainly free to tell that story if you'd like. But let's be clear:

    1. This is only a story that you are telling AND
    2. You are the only one telling that story. No one here is joining you in that story.



    Quote Originally Posted by EaseAndFlow View Post
    ... that I've been doing to myself and I don't know what to do anymore.
    Then stop telling a story of "mentally disabled" and "don't know what to do." It really is that simple. But that seems to be the very last thing that you're willing to do.

    So, a question for you to consider might be: "What benefits do you get from telling these stories?"

    Quote Originally Posted by EaseAndFlow View Post
    I think I might have been practicing an inaccurate idea of what "thinking" is,...
    So, what? We're not talking about "thinking" here. We're talking about sitting for a little while and just writing down what you've noticed and what you like about kittens (or puppies, if you prefer that). Every school child in my country has done something similar hundreds of time before they have even reached puberty. And your country has a better educational system than mine, so you must have done this for yourself even more.

    Quote Originally Posted by EaseAndFlow View Post
    Maybe I'm thinking that "thinking" is something "bigger" or "more advanced" than what it really is.
    Who cares?!

    Start here, " What I know about kittens is _______________. What I like about kittens is _______________. My favorite types (colors, qualities, etc.) of kitten is ___________." Go.

    Quote Originally Posted by EaseAndFlow View Post
    I think it would be easier if I was more aware of my thoughts.
    That has nothing to do with what we're asking of you. That's just your excuse to want to turn the conversation back to "fixing" these "problems" of yours, which is what we've been trying to guide you away from.

  7. #147
    Super Kitty Marc's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by EaseAndFlow View Post
    I've been doing my best with this for the last 2 days, but I haven't succeeded. It's not like I try for 5 minutes and then give up, but I seriously try to do it with the best of my abilities.
    This simply isn't possible. You've claimed that before, but if we were to task you to tell a story about bubbles (and we have) or kittens, you definitely can tell us a story about bubbles or kittens. It's simply a matter of your WILLINGNESS to do so. It's your willingness to keep talking about bubbles or kittens even though the story of how I don't feel the way I want to feel and how that doesn't seem to be getting better seems more compelling. It's your willingness to keep telling the story (or thinking of) bubbles or kittens even though you've got an impulse to take score or to self-criticize. If you'll notice, every time I suggest that you do that here, to tell that story of bubbles or kittens or your favorite song, all of which are really easy, simple topics -- we're not asking you to explain the math of quantum mechanics -- you refuse. Now I get that -- it seems like this topic of how you're not feeling differently is more compelling, that the impulse to try to fix things is what you should follow, BUT THAT'S WHAT IS KEEPING YOU STUCK. Again, the solution is to SET ALL OF THAT ASIDE TEMPORARILY and just be easy while you tell a light, whimsical story about puppies, kittens, butterflies or anything that really doesn't mean all that much. It's not hard on its own, it's just that YOU'RE MAKING IT HARD.

    Really, how in the world can one FAIL to think about kittens or bubbles or anything? The only way you can conclude that you've "failed" is if you're setting up some sort of condition of what "success" means that is screwy. For example, if I had a lot of negative momentum on some topic going and I wanted to turn my attention to the topic of bubbles to let that negative momentum subside, it's quite probable that especially at first, my mind would wander back to whatever that negative emotion is about. Here's the thing: THAT'S NOT FAILING AT THINKING ABOUT BUBBLES. That's simply LOA bringing my attention to what's active in my vibration. The answer isn't to beat up on myself because I got it wrong or to wonder if I've got the wrong definition of what "thinking it." All of that is just silly, to be frank. Rather, as Abraham suggests, I just pat myself on the back for recognizing that I've gone back to that old topic and just bring my attention back to bubbles. THAT'S ALL IT IS. There's just no way to "fail" at that because there's really not anything to ACHIEVE. It's simply giving yourself a break from the heaviness you're used to.
    Quote Originally Posted by EaseAndFlow View Post
    The only conclusion I can come to is that I must be doing it "wrong", but I don't understand how to practice it differently..
    Really? Is that really the ONLY conclusion you can come to? Or is it simply the most practiced conclusion you've found?

    Imagine you were learning to walk. After two days of "practice," which is actually more about gradually getting to your feet, and trying to take a step, but most of the time wobbling and falling down, is the ONLY conclusion you could come up with that you're simply learning to walk "wrong?"
    NO!

    That's really far from what's really going on when you learn how to walk. In the bigger picture, you're allowing your legs and other muscles to gradually get used to supporting your body as you start going from crawling on all fours to standing, it's learning to gain your balance, it's shooting rockets of desire that you're gradually getting up to speed with. All of the wobbling and falling down is a natural part of the process, rather than failure that you should try to eliminate.

    So while the idea that "I must be doing it 'wrong'" is the conclusion you're coming to is what you're used to coming up with, it certainly is not the ONLY conclusion one could reach. Do you think your IB agrees with you when you look at yourself this way? NO! So how do you think that anything you do that's based on the premise of "I must be doing it wrong" is ever going to be successful?

    Quote Originally Posted by EaseAndFlow View Post
    I feel a bit "mentally disabled" from all of this that I've been doing to myself and I don't know what to do anymore. I think I might have been practicing an inaccurate idea of what "thinking" is, and I keep going back to that idea because it's what I've been practicing.
    Isn't the fact that you're questioning whether you have "an inaccurate idea of what 'thinking' is" telling you that you're trying too damn hard and making a bigger deal out of this than it is?
    Quote Originally Posted by EaseAndFlow View Post
    Maybe I'm thinking that "thinking" is something "bigger" or "more advanced" than what it really is. But I can tell it's screwy because when I remember back to how I was seeing "thinking" or "focusing" pre-Abe seems different then how I'm seeing it now.
    Isn't this the essence of what you're doing all day every day? "I'm mentally disabled and I'm getting it all wrong, so I have to try really hard to get it right so I can fix it all." That's the big piece you're missing. You feel worse when you do this AND YET YOU KEEP DOING IT ANYWAY. Well, news flash, that's why you're not feeling any better -- because you put your hand on the hot stove, it hurts, and the conclusion you're reaching is that you aren't pressing down hard enough. Well, I'm here to tell you that you're not going to be able to grasp the hot stove tightly enough for it to feel better because the whole point is that you need to take your hand OFF.
    Quote Originally Posted by EaseAndFlow View Post
    I think it would be easier if I was more aware of my thoughts. I think that's the reason for why I've so quickly been taking score of whether or not my feelings had improved when attempting to do this process - because I haven't known how to instead be taking score of my thoughts / if I'm directing my thoughts in the way I want. It's clear to me when I try to do any of the AAIIG processes for example, I always kind of just assume what I'm thinking as my starting point for the process rather than sitting down and actually "listen" to my actual thoughts.
    Yes, it would be easier if you would actually read what you're writing here, the essence of which is, "There's something wrong with me," "I'm off track," "I'm not where I'm supposed to be," and "I'm doing all of this wrong," and realize, THAT'S WHAT YOU'RE DOING THAT DOESN'T FEEL GOOD. Everything you're doing is based off that point, which is why every bit of effort you put forth just reinforces that conclusion that there's something wrong, which just tightens the noose. I don't know how many more times we can tell you and in how many more ways we can put it. Every time you ask the same question, in every different way you try to ask it, THAT'S WHAT YOU'RE DOING ALL DAY EVERY DAY THAT DOESN'T FEEL GOOD. That's what we're trying to persuade you to stop doing and the simplest, easiest way to do that is to simply turn your attention to something else instead of trying to fix things. That's because TRYING TO FIX THINGS JUST MAKES THINGS WORSE.

  8. #148
    EaseAndFlow
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    Quote Originally Posted by Marc View Post
    Isn't the fact that you're questioning whether you have "an inaccurate idea of what 'thinking' is" telling you that you're trying too damn hard and making a bigger deal out of this than it is?
    Yes, for sure..

    Thanks so much for your replies.

  9. #149
    EaseAndFlow
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    I’ve really had an confusion about “focusing” and that’s what’s been holding me back in life so much lately. I’m beginning to understand that what I think “thinking” was, isn’t really how “thinking” or “focusing” works. I’ve made things hard for myself by doing that, so I want to do less of that now..

    Quote Originally Posted by The LoA-Man View Post
    The answer is feel "better". What is it that makes feeling "better" so hard for you? Just feel "better" and follow the track of feeling "better". That's all.
    I don’t even know myself why I’ve been allowing myself to beocme so confused about this. But to answer your question I guess I have been practicing thinking the same kind of thoughts so I haven’t been feeling better.

    Quote Originally Posted by WellBeing View Post
    I don't see how that's possible as you are able to consistently and articulately tell us in great detail about this topic, which you don't want and which doesn't feel good to you as you do it. Just do the same thing that you're doing here with the topics of bubbles (as you had once done on this Forum) or kittens or your music, etc.
    I guess my mind have been making it easy for me to keep thinking what I’ve been thinking. Isn’t that, listening to music or watching a movie, different than deliberately using my mind to focus in the way I want it to? So that’s what I'll want to practice..

    Quote Originally Posted by WellBeing View Post
    I have to question this because you've avoided every opportunity to do it here until your back was put to the wall.
    Just because I haven’t posted anything here doesn’t mean that I haven’t been trying with the best of my abilities, to practice this. Many times. I wouldn’t come back and ask about this if I had the success I’m wanting with this process (to feel better after doing it for 15 minutes), and if it didn't seem like I’m doing it “wrong”.

    Quote Originally Posted by WellBeing View Post
    So, what? We're not talking about "thinking" here. We're talking about sitting for a little while and just writing down what you've noticed and what you like about kittens (or puppies, if you prefer that). Every school child in my country has done something similar hundreds of time before they have even reached puberty. And your country has a better educational system than mine, so you must have done this for yourself even more.
    Isn’t my thoughts or focus everything in this vibrational “work”? So you mean that sitting down and writing what I’ve noticed that I like about kittens will most probably change my focus to thinking about kittens? This is where I’m seeing that I’ve screwed up idea about this because I find it weird that “talking about”, “paying attention to” and “thinking about” means essentially the same thing. I do believe you, and it makes sense intellectually, but it’s when I want to put it into practice I sometimes have trouble making sense of it.

    Quote Originally Posted by WellBeing View Post
    Who cares?!

    Start here, " What I know about kittens is _______________. What I like about kittens is _______________. My favorite types (colors, qualities, etc.) of kitten is ___________." Go.
    I want to do that here. But what intention “should” I have? To feel better, or just to write things down? Should I not pay any attentions to my feelings as I do this? Thanks.

    Quote Originally Posted by Marc View Post
    This simply isn't possible. You've claimed that before, but if we were to task you to tell a story about bubbles (and we have) or kittens, you definitely can tell us a story about bubbles or kittens. It's simply a matter of your WILLINGNESS to do so. It's your willingness to keep talking about bubbles or kittens even though the story of how I don't feel the way I want to feel and how that doesn't seem to be getting better seems more compelling. It's your willingness to keep telling the story (or thinking of) bubbles or kittens even though you've got an impulse to take score or to self-criticize. If you'll notice, every time I suggest that you do that here, to tell that story of bubbles or kittens or your favorite song, all of which are really easy, simple topics -- we're not asking you to explain the math of quantum mechanics -- you refuse. Now I get that -- it seems like this topic of how you're not feeling differently is more compelling, that the impulse to try to fix things is what you should follow, BUT THAT'S WHAT IS KEEPING YOU STUCK. Again, the solution is to SET ALL OF THAT ASIDE TEMPORARILY and just be easy while you tell a light, whimsical story about puppies, kittens, butterflies or anything that really doesn't mean all that much. It's not hard on its own, it's just that YOU'RE MAKING IT HARD.
    I’m really hearing what you’re saying. I also believe you 100% and I know that it’s what I’ve been doing. I don’t think you could’ve explained it any clearer.

    Quote Originally Posted by Marc View Post
    Really, how in the world can one FAIL to think about kittens or bubbles or anything? The only way you can conclude that you've "failed" is if you're setting up some sort of condition of what "success" means that is screwy. For example, if I had a lot of negative momentum on some topic going and I wanted to turn my attention to the topic of bubbles to let that negative momentum subside, it's quite probable that especially at first, my mind would wander back to whatever that negative emotion is about. Here's the thing: THAT'S NOT FAILING AT THINKING ABOUT BUBBLES. That's simply LOA bringing my attention to what's active in my vibration. The answer isn't to beat up on myself because I got it wrong or to wonder if I've got the wrong definition of what "thinking it." All of that is just silly, to be frank. Rather, as Abraham suggests, I just pat myself on the back for recognizing that I've gone back to that old topic and just bring my attention back to bubbles. THAT'S ALL IT IS. There's just no way to "fail" at that because there's really not anything to ACHIEVE. It's simply giving yourself a break from the heaviness you're used to.
    I think it would be easier if I felt more aware or understanding of where my thoughts or focus is at any given moment of time, so that I could take score of where my mind is currently at in any given moment of time, so that I could notice when my thoughts really are thoughts are about “kittens” or not. Because otherwise I feel like I don’t know how to keep returning my mind to “kittens” when my mind begins to wander, or even to be aware that my mind has began to wander. Because if I don’t think thoughts about “kittens” constantly enough, it’s not going to have an effect.

    Quote Originally Posted by Marc View Post
    So while the idea that "I must be doing it 'wrong'" is the conclusion you're coming to is what you're used to coming up with, it certainly is not the ONLY conclusion one could reach. Do you think your IB agrees with you when you look at yourself this way? NO! So how do you think that anything you do that's based on the premise of "I must be doing it wrong" is ever going to be successful?
    Yeah, it would be nice if I could have the attitude I had when I learned how to walk or ride on a bike when I’m praticing this.

    Quote Originally Posted by Marc View Post
    Yes, it would be easier if you would actually read what you're writing here, the essence of which is, "There's something wrong with me," "I'm off track," "I'm not where I'm supposed to be," and "I'm doing all of this wrong," and realize, THAT'S WHAT YOU'RE DOING THAT DOESN'T FEEL GOOD.
    Yes I know, it seems like I don’t have so much resistance about most things, except the subject of how I feel, how I’m not succeeding in applying these teachings in my life, how focusing works etc, which I often seem to give my attention to.. Thanks agian for your replies.

  10. #150
    Super Kitty Marc's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by EaseAndFlow View Post
    I guess my mind have been making it easy for me to keep thinking what I’ve been thinking. Isn’t that, listening to music or watching a movie, different than deliberately using my mind to focus in the way I want it to? So that’s what I'll want to practice..
    When you listen to music or watch a movie, you're not doing it with the intention of trying to accomplish something. You're willing to turn your full attention to the music or movie. That's why there's a difference.

    Quote Originally Posted by EaseAndFlow View Post
    Just because I haven’t posted anything here doesn’t mean that I haven’t been trying with the best of my abilities, to practice this. Many times.
    Oh? Then why so reluctant to do it when we suggest that you do it here? Every time we suggest you try, you object.

    Quote Originally Posted by EaseAndFlow View Post
    I wouldn’t come back and ask about this if I had the success I’m wanting with this process (to feel better after doing it for 15 minutes), and if it didn't seem like I’m doing it “wrong”.
    That's what we've been trying to get across to you this whole time. The reason you interpret what you've been doing as failure is because you're trying to accomplish something. The point of thinking about kittens ISN'T TO CHANGE HOW YOU FEEL, the point is to TAKE YOUR ATTENTION OFF HOW YOU FEEL and put it on kittens, just like the point of listening to music or watching a movie is to enjoy the movie or the music. STOP TRYING TO USE THIS AS A TOOL TO TRY TO FIX THE WAY YOU FEEL. Failure eliminated. That's why we keep suggesting that you talk about kittens or bubbles or music or whatever here, to start getting you in the habit of DOING it.

    Quote Originally Posted by EaseAndFlow View Post
    Isn’t my thoughts or focus everything in this vibrational “work”? So you mean that sitting down and writing what I’ve noticed that I like about kittens will most probably change my focus to thinking about kittens? This is where I’m seeing that I’ve screwed up idea about this because I find it weird that “talking about”, “paying attention to” and “thinking about” means essentially the same thing. I do believe you, and it makes sense intellectually, but it’s when I want to put it into practice I sometimes have trouble making sense of it.
    SO STOP TRYING TO MAKE SENSE OF IT. Stop intellectualizing it. You don't have to work to listen to music, you don't have to work to watch a movie, you don't have to work hard at any of that. You're only working hard because you've turned all of this into a tool to try to accomplish something. SO STOP DOING THAT.
    Quote Originally Posted by EaseAndFlow View Post
    I want to do that here. But what intention “should” I have? To feel better, or just to write things down? Should I not pay any attentions to my feelings as I do this? Thanks.
    Your intention is to GIVE YOURSELF A BREAK FROM WHAT YOU'RE USED TO DOING. Yes, DON'T PAY ATTENTION TO HOW YOU FEEL because the whole point is to take your attention off how you feel an onto kittens or bubbles or music or whatever. It's just not that hard when you're not trying to accomplish something.


    Quote Originally Posted by EaseAndFlow View Post
    I think it would be easier if I felt more aware or understanding of where my thoughts or focus is at any given moment of time, so that I could take score of where my mind is currently at in any given moment of time, so that I could notice when my thoughts really are thoughts are about “kittens” or not.
    Here's an easy test. If you're asking the question, you're not thinking about kittens. That's because if you were thinking about kittens, your thoughts would have something to do with kittens.

    Quote Originally Posted by EaseAndFlow View Post
    Because otherwise I feel like I don’t know how to keep returning my mind to “kittens” when my mind begins to wander, or even to be aware that my mind has began to wander. Because if I don’t think thoughts about “kittens” constantly enough, it’s not going to have an effect.
    Again, it's not that hard. You've had the experience of putting on music or a movie and not paying attention to it anymore. How do you know when you're still paying attention to the music or movie or not? All of this is everyday experience you're familiar with.

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