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Thread: Question about not feeling emotions

  1. #21
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    Quote Originally Posted by ease123 View Post
    Where on the egs would you currently be feeling?
    I don't feel angry. I don't feel Irritated or Frustrated. My current emotions does not feel very "complex", "deep" or serious. Though I can understand that it may seem like that, from my words and asking the question. I understand these teachings, intellectually, so I guess I have been tired with not being able to do the only thing that works, finding "better feeling thoughts".

    Quote Originally Posted by WellBeing View Post
    I'm wondering what you're trying to achieve here in this situation. On one hand it sort of sounds like you're trying to find a label for how you feel and, as you say below, after meditation (because your focus is diffuse) that can be harder to do. But there's very few times that we need a precise label in this "work." In fact, Abraham tell us that there are--in any given moment of time--only two emotions of any importance to us. One that feels "better" (than what we had just been feeling) and one that feels "worse." It doesn't matter if we call those "better" (or "worse") emotions "Anger" or "Hope" or "Purple" or "Basketball." The only thing that matters is whether you are now feeling better or worse than you had just been.
    I like that. You don't have to be constantly aware of where you are on the Emotional Scale all the time. "Better" or "worse" is the only thing you have to care about.

    Quote Originally Posted by WellBeing View Post
    Notice that, in this story, you're focusing on how you feel physically ("generally more tired") and Abraham are asking us to focus on how we feel emotionally. Now, because you have this expectation that you're not going to feel better ("I generally feel more tired than I did") and so, when you wake up, your knee-jerk re-action will be to check in to see if your expectation is fulfilled and because this expectation is on the Unwanted end of the stick called "rest" or "nap," it would be understandable that you are going to feel "less good." I don't find that so much "strange" as I do "interesting." Of course, you can do a variety of things like Pre-Pave a different sort of nap for yourself or Make Peace that your body knows how much rest to get and if you allow the wisdom of your cells to wake you when your momentum has ceased or focus, upon awakening, on something other than how your body feels or.... Do you see what I'm getting at?
    Yes, I see exactly what you mean.

    Quote Originally Posted by WellBeing View Post
    You're correct because meditation stops or slows down your momentum. When you come out of meditation, you can start to focus, as lauralight suggested above, on what you want and why you want it and how it will feel along the way and how it will feel when you manifest it, etc. and get vibrational momentum going in the direction of something that you want. As you ramp up that momentum in that direction, at first you might not be able to notice the difference (because the world of vibration is subtle if you haven't practised tuning yourself to it). But, as that momentum ramps up, you'll be more able to notice both the better feeling and the momentum.
    I have read your posts and Marc's a few times and I am starting to understand the thing that I have been doing.

    I have been a very good observer. I'm starting to realize how much attention I usually pay to my current reality. That's why most things in my life have kept being the same for a few months now. I have kept re-creating the same reality for myself, and I have been sloppy in my focus and not deliberate.

    Quote Originally Posted by WellBeing View Post
    Don't do that. Instead, tell the story of how you have a guidance system and it's there and it's working and it's just a matter of tuning to it and how you've done it before because there have been other times in your life when you have felt "better" and known it and when you've felt "worse" and known it, etc. IOW, start working with the LoA, rather than against it.
    You are right. I want to stop telling the story of the "I don't feel anything"-thing. It will be an easy thing for me to do, because I do know that it isn't true. As I have said in some other thread, I often feel good when listening to Abe recordings, uplifting music, watching sweet movies and pictures.. Therefore I know that I have the ability to feel.

    Quote Originally Posted by WellBeing View Post
    You can't feel the difference between:

    • "I hate myself, I'm rubbish and a complete waste of space and air. I never should have been born. I just want to croak." OR
    • "There are times I like myself more than other times."?

    Again, give us some examples of the statements/thoughts you're working with and perhaps we can have more personalised comments.
    Actually, I did feel a little worse when I focused on your first statement for a while. I can at least feel some difference between the two.

    Quote Originally Posted by WellBeing View Post
    You can't feel the difference between the idea of everyone hating you and the idea of everyone loving you? How are you "focusing" on them then? When we say "focus on" something, it's not just stare at the words or think them blankly.
    (...)
    You see, whether these thoughts might be "true" or not for you (and that's another thing that might also be going on: you just picking random thoughts--rather than your "truth"--and working with them intellectually), if you sat with these thoughts and focused what they might mean for you and for your life (as I guided you above), you can get some momentum of emotions going pretty quickly. I know I did just in writing those examples for you.
    YES. You might be onto something here. What I have been doing in the past is only focusing on the words. When I wrote my statements, I was focusing on the words. It feels like in the past I have been only thinking of the words, and it has not change my perception.

    I sat and focused on your two examples for about 10 minutes each. And I noticed a difference in the way I felt.

    Quote Originally Posted by Marc View Post
    My slightly different, but similar technique, that I talk a lot about here is taking a subject that doesn't mean anything to you and focusing on it lightly. Take "pretzels" for example. Spend 15 minutes or so just thinking about pretzels. Imagine them, picture what they look like, what they smell like, what they taste like. If your mind wanders, just bring it back. I find it easier than the sort of meditation that Abraham describes because it requires a little more focus. In bringing your attention to something to which you have no resistance to, your vibration will raise.
    I think this is going to be very helpful to me. I need to try it out.

    Quote Originally Posted by Marc View Post
    It's not that you don't feel the difference between a happy and depressed thought, it's that you don't necessarily have access to both of them. Let's just say, for the sake of discussion, you were actually at depression. LOA isn't going to allow you to go from depression right to happy. So it might feel like you can't feel the difference between those thoughts, but it's actually because you're trying to make a jump that you can't possibly make and so you just end up staying put. It's like standing at the bottom of a tall building and trying to compare it to the top of the building. You can't do that because you're not really anywhere near the top of the building.

    Yes, what you're doing is telling this story of how you can't feel your emotions. So you can't focus on the absence of something and experience the presence of it. So the best thing you could do is to STOP what you're doing. The only way you can do that is to start doing something else -- which is why I suggested the idea of focusing on a meaningless topic for a little while.
    Thank you so much. It makes sense.

    I am not feeling clear now. I can't come up with something good to write. I am mixed up. I'm going to sleep now... I need to re-read your posts tomorrow. Your posts are going to be very helpful for me to get back on track, and I am very thankful.

  2. #22
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    Quote Originally Posted by WellBeing View Post
    When we say "focus on" something, it's not just stare at the words or think them blankly.
    That's kind of what I have been doing.

    Quote Originally Posted by WellBeing View Post
    Are you imagining how your life would be if everyone were to hate you?
    No, I haven't done it this way. I have been going about this in a screwy way. I have been thinking "blue floor - blue floor - blue floor" instead of thinking about blue floors if that makes any sense. When I "imagined" people in my life hating me, and what it could be like, I felt worse, and I could feel that difference.

    In the past I have been observing my reality and thought general thoughts. I have not spend much time thinking about my wanted desires specifically. I have been focusing on the "now" too much. In a way it makes sense that I haven't been feeling my emotions very much. But the "how I got here" is not important. I want to focus on my new story now.

    I am going to continue experiment with this now, and also try Marc's tip with focusing on easy subjects. I really like that idea.

  3. #23
    Super Moderator WellBeing's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by EaseAndFlow View Post
    That's kind of what I have been doing.
    That's a common thing; don't worry about it. I remember a HS conversation where Abraham were helping the HSer to do a VR and the HSer was describing her Vortex lover on the beach. Abraham interrupted her description to ask, "Are you there?" because the lover, the beach, the romance were all in the VR but the HSer had neglected to put herself in the VR. So, don't worry about it.

    But now that you know that you have a habit of disassociating yourself from the experience, you can be more mindful of it and be inspired to ways of putting yourself back into it. Good for you!

    Quote Originally Posted by EaseAndFlow View Post
    I am going to continue experiment with this now, and also try Marc's tip with focusing on easy subjects. I really like that idea.
    Yes, I really like that idea, too. I've not done it in the way that Marc has shared with us above.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Marc View Post
    It's not that you don't feel the difference between a happy and depressed thought, it's that you don't necessarily have access to both of them. Let's just say, for the sake of discussion, you were actually at depression. LOA isn't going to allow you to go from depression right to happy. So it might feel like you can't feel the difference between those thoughts, but it's actually because you're trying to make a jump that you can't possibly make and so you just end up staying put. It's like standing at the bottom of a tall building and trying to compare it to the top of the building. You can't do that because you're not really anywhere near the top of the building.
    I get all of that, and I really like your analogy with the building and taking the stairs instead of jumping to the top of the building. I can sort of imagine the building in front me and taking the stars and feel a bit lighter for each step and feel some relief for every step.

    I have a question. If I think a thought and it feels better, is it always improving my vibration? always always always? I don't have to be "afraid" of choosing a thought that is too high up the EGS for me, If it feels better? For example: With the topic of "self-love", I strongly believe that I'm somewhere in the middle of the emotional scale (because I sometimes focus negatively on myself) but the reason I am asking this is because:

    When I focus on:
    I love myself.
    And focus on that for a while and what that means, I can really feel better.

    But when I focus on:
    I am contented with all aspects of myself.
    I feel less of a shift.

    If I was on the middle on the scale, shouldn't contentment be closer for me than "loving", and because of that I should feel a bigger shift when I focus on my second statement? I understand that it's hard to tell by just these two sentences that I have wrote here, but I have been focused and imagining being content with myself and loving myself, and loving feels better. So should I trust my feelings here insted of being "afraid" of "what if I'm trying too jump too high on the EGS with this topic right now"? I hope you understand what I mean.

    The thing about me not feeling emotions no longer holds true. Because I can feel my emotions now, and even though they aren't super distinct, I can still feel different emotions, and I guess the intensity of my emotions is more a question of momentum than anything else.

    Quote Originally Posted by Marc View Post
    So the best thing you could do is to STOP what you're doing. The only way you can do that is to start doing something else -- which is why I suggested the idea of focusing on a meaningless topic for a little while.

    Thanks.

  5. #25
    Super Moderator WellBeing's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by EaseAndFlow View Post
    I have a question. If I think a thought and it feels better, is it always improving my vibration? always always always?
    Yes. It always, always, always means that you're moving towards your own Alignment.

    So, when you poke around with individual thoughts (like you've been doing here on this thread) and you feel better, you have just moved closer to your own Alignment, moved closer to your Vortex (same thing). When you do your Focus Wheel and you add BFT after BFT after BFT, you are moving towards your own Alignment, moving into agreement with the perspective of your IB (same thing). When you switch topics from something that is "troubling" you (either a little or a lot) to a easy, "meaningless" topic and you feel better for that switch, you have just moved closer to your own Alignment.

    And that's true, whether you feel "a little" better or "a lot" better. Better is better. (Ooo, write that down. That was deep. ) It all counts.

    Quote Originally Posted by EaseAndFlow View Post
    I don't have to be "afraid" of choosing a thought that is too high up the EGS for me, If it feels better?
    If it's "too high up," it won't feel "better"--not if we're being honest with or aware of ourselves and our guidance. That's what makes it "too high up."

    Quote Originally Posted by EaseAndFlow View Post
    For example: With the topic of "self-love", I strongly believe that I'm somewhere in the middle of the emotional scale (because I sometimes focus negatively on myself) but the reason I am asking this is because:

    When I focus on:
    I love myself.
    And focus on that for a while and what that means, I can really feel better.

    But when I focus on:
    I am contented with all aspects of myself.
    I feel less of a shift.

    If I was on the middle on the scale, shouldn't contentment be closer for me than "loving", and because of that I should feel a bigger shift when I focus on my second statement? I understand that it's hard to tell by just these two sentences that I have wrote here, but I have been focused and imagining being content with myself and loving myself, and loving feels better. So should I trust my feelings here insted of being "afraid" of "what if I'm trying too jump too high on the EGS with this topic right now"? I hope you understand what I mean.
    First off, you might want to practise a different idea than "being 'afraid' of 'what if I'm trying too jump too high on the EGS with this topic right now'?". I know what you mean and it's a good thing of which to be aware. But you're just learning how to "walk" (well, maybe even hold yourself upright) and concerning yourself with walking like a runway model (in heels) isn't going to help your learning process, if you know what I mean. Right now a more helpful focus might be how you're just learning how to play with the Scale.

    When talking about this learning curve, I like to remember how I learned to draw when I was a kid. I know we're in different countries but perhaps you had a similar experience: When I first started out with drawing (actually, "colouring" is the more precise word), I was given books with big, general, recognisable black-and-white pictures and a box of big, bulky crayons with 8 basic colours. The pictures were of things I could recognise (so there was some personal connexion). They had little or general detail. And the crayons were big and bulky, perfect for my developing motorskills. The biggest "task" often was colouring "inside the lines" or maybe colouring the sun yellow instead of green. As my motor skills developed, as my experience increased and as my perception became more discerning, the pictures became more detailed. The crayons became more slender, with sharper points (to get into those detailed places) and there was more variety in the box of crayons--with a choice of different shades of the "same" colour.

    My point is it's the same sort of learning curve here. You've got the basic box of crayons and the book of basic pictures and you're learning to hold the crayons and learning which end of the crayon does what and learning that colouring in the book is more acceptable than colouring on the walls (but the walls are much more fun), etc. Don't be trying to create Starry Night with your box of 8 colours of crayons just yet.

    Back to your example (because I love "real" examples!)....

    Quote Originally Posted by EaseAndFlow View Post
    For example: With the topic of "self-love", I strongly believe that I'm somewhere in the middle of the emotional scale (because I sometimes focus negatively on myself) but the reason I am asking this is because:

    When I focus on:
    I love myself.
    And focus on that for a while and what that means, I can really feel better.

    But when I focus on:
    I am contented with all aspects of myself.
    I feel less of a shift.
    What you're finding out here is that it's not the words that matter, but it's the vibration that matters. And I know that line is just going to frustrate you. But, just because you wrote/said/thought "contented" doesn't mean that you are actually feeling "contented." It's kind of like--in your uncertainty about your guidance system--you're over-relying on the words of the Scale and turning this into an intellectual exercise rather than an emotional exercise. It's like you're saying, "I'm not really feeling anything, so I must be at Boredom and the next step up the Scale is Contentment, so use 'contented' in a sentence." And you're seeing how that's not working for you. (And that's a good thing because that's not how this Abe business works.)

    When you get an "confusing" reading from your guidance (as you have here), poke around a bit with your statements. What do your statements mean to you? What thoughts do you have when you contemplate this statement or that? What thoughts is LoA bringing to you because of your focus on this statement or that? How do you feel when you think these new thoughts? Why do you love yourself? How are you contented? IOW, feel around your statements. And I would do the poking around on one statement and feel how I feel (and I wouldn't be so much concerned with the label from the Scale) and then move to the other statement and poke around that.

    For example, do you really feel "I love myself"? Is it "true" for you? Or is your next thought something along the lines of "Oh, man, that would be so cool if I could figure out how to love myself...for this reason and that reason"? By paying attention to your other thoughts, you get more information. In my example, if your next thought was along those lines, then you would have some clarity that the "really feel better" that you noticed not have been from the statement "I love myself" but from the following story that you tell yourself about your path to loving yourself. Can you see the difference? Now, that "really feel better" is still a vibrational shift but now you have a little more information about what's going on with your vibration.

    Not to overwhelm you but let's take this in a different direction.... Let's say that you've poked around both statements and the "I love myself" statement (along with the other thoughts and feelings you received as you poked around there) truly feels better than the "I am contented with..." statement (along with its other thoughts and feelings). Does this mean that the Scale or you are "broken"? No, not at all.

    If you look at the "I love myself," you may notice that it's a really General (capitalised to indicate Abraham's usage of the word) statement. However, your following statement--"I am contented with all aspects of myself"--is much more Specific. It might not be the "contented" bit that feels less good to you but rather the Specifics of that statment that are catching you up. When you poke around that statement, you might notice that you start thinking "yeah, maybe but I'm not 'contented' with this aspect or I'd prefer that other aspect of me to be different or...." You have lots of aspects and you have lots of evidence which can support or deny just about any story you want to tell about yourself. Typically, when someone wants to "work" on "self-love," they're not usually "contented" about many aspects of themselves (otherwise they'd be doing a BoPA or a RoA on themselves and milking their "self-love"), so that statement wouldn't be consistent with their usual habit of thoughts and that's the "less good" feeling you might have been experiencing. You'll have to play around and poke around to see what's "true" for you.

    FWIW, I do what you're attempting to do a little differently than the way that you're going about it here. I write out what I truly believe and think about my issue as honestly and as clearly as I can. In your case, I would write out what I thought about myself. And then I take those thoughts, which are what I believe in my powerful now and then find ways of tweaking those thoughts so that they are still "true" to me but so that they feel better. I don't need the Scale in order to do that.

    So, when I write a statement like "I am contented with all aspects of myself" and I feel the "off"-ness of that statement, I'd explore that statement. Am I really "contented" or is that just a word game I'm playing with myself? How do I really feel about myself? I might be "contented" but maybe only on these aspects and not those aspects and I love myself when I think about these other aspects of me. So maybe the statement evolves to "I have many aspects, some of which I like, some of which I don't and some of which I really like." Since my goal is to feel better, then it makes sense to explore my aspects "which I really like" and why I like them and when and getting as detailed as feels good about remembering the times and the reasons and the instances of when I was being those aspects "which I really like." Notice that the Scale doesn't come into play in any of this, only my guidance system.

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    Quote Originally Posted by WellBeing View Post
    FWIW, I do what you're attempting to do a little differently than the way that you're going about it here. I write out what I truly believe and think about my issue as honestly and as clearly as I can. In your case, I would write out what I thought about myself. And then I take those thoughts, which are what I believe in my powerful now and then find ways of tweaking those thoughts so that they are still "true" to me but so that they feel better. I don't need the Scale in order to do that.

    So, when I write a statement like "I am contented with all aspects of myself" and I feel the "off"-ness of that statement, I'd explore that statement. Am I really "contented" or is that just a word game I'm playing with myself? How do I really feel about myself? I might be "contented" but maybe only on these aspects and not those aspects and I love myself when I think about these other aspects of me. So maybe the statement evolves to "I have many aspects, some of which I like, some of which I don't and some of which I really like." Since my goal is to feel better, then it makes sense to explore my aspects "which I really like" and why I like them and when and getting as detailed as feels good about remembering the times and the reasons and the instances of when I was being those aspects "which I really like." Notice that the Scale doesn't come into play in any of this, only my guidance system.

    OMG. I believe THIS will be the perfect practice "process" for me ATM! In this process of learning to apply these teachings in my life, I'm Going to focus only on this for some days now and I hope you feel much love about yourself WB because you are such a helpful person!

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    Quote Originally Posted by EaseAndFlow View Post
    I get all of that, and I really like your analogy with the building and taking the stairs instead of jumping to the top of the building. I can sort of imagine the building in front me and taking the stars and feel a bit lighter for each step and feel some relief for every step.

    I have a question. If I think a thought and it feels better, is it always improving my vibration?
    Yes.
    Quote Originally Posted by EaseAndFlow View Post
    always always always?
    Always, always, always.
    Quote Originally Posted by EaseAndFlow View Post
    I don't have to be "afraid" of choosing a thought that is too high up the EGS for me, If it feels better?
    That's just it -- if it's too high up on the EGS for you, it won't feel better. That's what throws people off sometimes because they think that the point is to try to get to the top of the EGS as quickly as possible, but it's actually to feel better. It's always going to be more effective to feel a little bit better and to do it more often than it is to try to feel a LOT better and to do it for a little bit.
    Quote Originally Posted by EaseAndFlow View Post
    For example: With the topic of "self-love", I strongly believe that I'm somewhere in the middle of the emotional scale (because I sometimes focus negatively on myself) but the reason I am asking this is because:

    When I focus on:
    I love myself.
    And focus on that for a while and what that means, I can really feel better.
    Great!
    Quote Originally Posted by EaseAndFlow View Post
    But when I focus on:
    I am contented with all aspects of myself.
    I feel less of a shift.
    As I pointed out, you're trying to go too far and it doesn't feel better. As WB points out, that's probably because you AREN'T contented with all aspects of yourself. You're feeling the discord of that statement, which is why it doesn't feel as good. A statement like, "There are things about myself that I like" might feel better and more "true."
    Quote Originally Posted by EaseAndFlow View Post
    If I was on the middle on the scale, shouldn't contentment be closer for me than "loving", and because of that I should feel a bigger shift when I focus on my second statement?
    Not really, no. This isn't an intellectual exercise of what SHOULD feel better or the what you think is the "right" thought. You've got to feel your way forward. I'd explain it another way -- the first thought feels better to you because it's more general. The second is harder for you to align with because it's more specific than you're able to reach.
    Quote Originally Posted by EaseAndFlow View Post
    I understand that it's hard to tell by just these two sentences that I have wrote here, but I have been focused and imagining being content with myself and loving myself, and loving feels better.
    Again, I'd suggest that the difference isn't really between loving and being content -- those are really just words right now. The difference is really between you focusing more generally and being too specific than you're ready for.
    Quote Originally Posted by EaseAndFlow View Post
    So should I trust my feelings here insted of being "afraid" of "what if I'm trying too jump too high on the EGS with this topic right now"? I hope you understand what I mean.
    As I mentioned, there's no need to be "afraid," you're feeling your way through it. That's part of the process. If you're trying to go too far, you just won't make the jump. It won't feel better. There's nothing wrong with that, that's how you know what you can make and what you can't.

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    More than one year later and I still have the same problem. I have re-read all the wonderful advice that I've got in this thread and they are very helpful.

    I want to learn how to interpret my guidance. I want to learn where to listen for my guidance and know where my guidance is. I want to learn how to pay attention to my guidance so that I can do this "work". How can I do that? I apparently haven't been able to completely put my "I can't feel my emotional guidance"-story to rest in over one year, creating that reality, so, I might want to do some more "active" work on that piece. Any advice on how I can learn where to listen for my emotional guidance? Thanks.

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    Super Moderator WellBeing's Avatar
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    Bubbles

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