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Thread: My Vision process

  1. #1

    Red face My Vision process

    I was inspired after reading pleasedtomeetme's daily posts of using LOA to start my own similar post!

    In the last few days I realised one of the most powerful processes that I've used to not only manifest but to stay on track on manifesting my desires was "having and holding on to a vision." The concept itself isn't new by any means, but the way I personally used it without knowing it granted me HUGE results, I changed and continue to change my entire life with this process.

    Basically, I have a vision for what I want in whatever area I want to manifest (how I want to live, my art career, money, etc). I know what it looks like, what I'm doing, how I feel, the energy it holds and just the essence of the desire thus the created "vision" that represents it. It's like a mental vision board but a lot bigger and more dynamic because of my intense knowing and belief that this vision is what is going to manifest. The belief that I hold towards the vision is what makes the process works, and it is the vision itself that keeps me focused on manifesting it.

    It's not always a concrete, fully detailed scene, but it's a clear target of what I want that I can identify, and without effort, always remind myself of when I feel I'm slipping or needing a reminder of my dreams. Also, it's always an action or in motion type of vision not a single "snapshot" of the whole reality that I'm manifesting.

    So that is the process in itself but I decided to expand on it by consciously creating more visions in regards to other areas in my life! The one vision that inspired this process was very general towards my entire life (my desire was to change my life since I was so unhappy where I was), but I want to create more visions towards specific topics, like my sense of self, my art, career, bodytype, etc!

    The extra piece I wanted to borrow from pleasetomeetme was the logging in how I felt about the desire I wanted to manifest and the day by day soothing of the contrast and negative beliefs so the desire can come true! So there you have it!

    The topic I'm choosing for this vision process is my sense of self and my sensitivity towards other people's opinions about me. In a breakthrough I had last night showed me that I need to develop a stronger sense of self so that other people's opinions wouldn't affect me and my ability to express myself. Once I feel better about myself and not care what the peanut gallery thinks, I then can let go of the oars and grow as the artist I always wanted to be!
    Day 1:

    How I feel right now about the situation at hand

    Getting honest with my feelings, even though I'm super happy I had the breakthrough and the answer to what seems like a life long question and struggle, I'm terribly afraid. I'm afraid that people will find out about me and how I'm a fraud, incapable, inadequate and not really who I want to be, a powerful creative person and creator.

    I'm afraid that, even though I'm doing the work to change my beliefs and focus around myself as a person, the truth will (always) be that I'm not a true unique and creative person. That I'm kidding myself, and all the work I'm doing is just me pumping up my ego meaninglessly because I feel bad about myself. That I'm really "normal" with normal talents, normal abilities and I'm destined to live a normal and average life as an artist (if even that), always struggling. Well, not even struggling but I'll never break a certain money and success ceiling in what I love to do.

    I'll never leave the "average and normal" realm and break into the "outrageous success and extraordinary experiences that I've never dreamed of realm." The type of success and life I truly want to live, but again, I keep thinking that "isn't who I really am" I'm NOT that person so I shouldn't try to achieve that because that is not MY destiny.

    I feel guided to stop there...

    So to now soothe myself into a better feeling place:

    I don't know who died and said that my limit to success and the type of life I would live was normal but they are SO WRONG.

    I know the laws of the universe, I know about all this abe stuff, I've been doing this manifesting thing for a good amount of time with great success, I know the processes and what make these things work so... I KNOW NO ONE CAN MANIFEST MY REALITY BUT ME.

    I don't have to believe what anyone outside of me have to say about my life and I definitely have the power to choose a better feeling belief about myself about the type of life I live.

    I'm now thinking, oh my gosh, I really DON'T have to believe what other people might think of me or take their words seriously, it's not real, it doesn't matter. I have the power to put my thoughts into true creative power by only thinking about things that gives me life, that soothes me emotionally. That's it, even though trying to tackle feeling like a fraud feels very upstream at this point, just knowing that I don't have to believe what other people think of me is very comforting and puts me in the vortex.

    I feel a lot better now and will continue to think those soothing thoughts instead of the not so good ones!

    It doesn't feel good to create the vision of myself right now so I'll follow that guidance! I'm sure I'm in the pure process of getting the feel good details together that will create it.

    Till next time!

    Kai <3

  2. #2

    Lightbulb

    It's been a few hours since my last post and I feel a lot more open, I found some major driftwood, I had a breakthrough and I had a clear manifestation about my desire to feel more confident in myself!


    The manifestation happened when I was waiting in line for dinner. There are stacks of Opera magazines, and I found the issue that I was reading earlier that was about upgrading your life. I was finding the page where I left off and went to an article that I wanted to read. That's when I saw an article that Dr.Phil wrote about how your perception makes your "reality!" It was a big shock but at the same time, I already knew how manifesting works, it just does. This is clear evidence that the desire I want is more than possible and there are plenty of resources to help me get there.


    I've also been reading the wealth journey thread which is helping me see in real time the power of manifestation and how our emotions on the way there does go up and down. However, it is more than possible to soothe yourself and keep yourself on track and the manifestations rolls in faster than you can expect.


    That is when I had the breakthrough, I do better work when I'm in my own private space. To be able to do self-study (or self anything really haha!), to go at my own pace, to not be monitored and I don't have to worry about what others think or try to be more than I am. I do learn a lot faster when I'm around other people that is working towards the same thing, where I can learn and gain from their experience but it has to be again in a smaller, more private feeling space.


    Even though I'm really creative and love to express myself in the world, I don't desire to be "on stage" for everyone to see everything about me, I'm still a very private person. Which feels a lot better to me than not have my privacy and everything I do is out to the public (the internet/social media).


    Which relates to my fear of being judged and criticized. Not so much because I WANT to be on stage and have everyone looking at me but I have my innate fears blocking me from that desire... BUT I don't have the desire to be on stage for everyone to see me but I go out and do it anyway and the fact that people can "see me" and "judge me" sends me into a tailspin. I feel limited in what I can and allowed to do because now people can see me doing it and they may or may not like what I do. WOW, that was powerful!


    I didn't clearly notice that even though I don't like putting myself "out there" online, I do so anyway in a lot of ways. More so with my creative pursuits. I have this flawed premise that, if I don't put my work out there, no one will know who I am, no one will know about my art and I won't become successful. I desire to be successful, in an outrageous and big way but since I had those flawed premises about the "how," I put myself in situations that made me feel awful. As in, even though I love just creating in my own private space not posting everything I work on for everyone to see because I love creating for myself; I've been overworking myself trying to make a name for myself as an artist online, trying to draw things that the peanut gallery likes, where I hope someone will see my hard work and skill and grant me my desired success.


    Ugh, I don't like that story at all based on the flawed premise and it feels very off! However, I LOVE the story where I'm in my own space, I don't have to worry about the outside world. I can create all that I want because I don't have to have the whole world to judge if they like what I create or not. My art is all about me, my satisfaction, what I love to draw and HOW I want to draw it. I don't care about skills but if the picture is pretty, I don't care if it makes sense but I love the idea that is expressed. My whole world is fully based on my own standards, not others and I never have to worry if other people love my work or not because I care so much about how I feel that no outside opinion can affect me!


    And because I'm so into my own happiness about my art, opportunities naturally find its way to me, success is easy for me to achieve. I easily and effortlessly find venues where I know my art will be appreciated and people will love it because I LOVE IT! I can easily see and feel the happiness in my soul setting up shop, I have no fear about if my art will be pleasing to others, I'm not doing this because I want to prove myself. I'm doing this because I was guided and I had all the right tools and materials that made this decision a great one. One that will lead to other opportunities, where again, more people will see my art that will love it by virtue by my own love for it!


    I see myself in my quiet, nature filled house with all my art and products across the room where I'm packing and getting ready to ship the sales I made in one day. I feel so proud but at the same time, I'm not surprised because I believe in my art so deeply that I naturally know that other people will be deeply attracted to it, and it does.


    I feel guided to stop there...


    THAT IS MY VISION, I JUST CREATED MY VISION FOR MYSELF AND MY ART OH MY UNIVERSE!


    I feel deeply confident, as I create my works in the comfort in my own space, only to come out when it feels right. I have unshakable faith in myself as an artist and the artwork I create. I have no doubts in how I choose to create my works, the fact that I make them makes them priceless and deeply valuable. I know my worth and it's easy to set prices that feels good to me. Where it's not about the money but about the energy and passion behind the dollars, which enables me to make more in more enriching ways.


    I have such deep faith, love and confidence in myself that no one can convince me otherwise. It's just not a factor, when I do hear a less than pleasant comment, it doesn't affect me, I don't even consider it. I just know it comes from their own lack and that is okay, I don't take these things personally anyway because I know who I AM.


    Oh, that felt so good and it came so quickly and effortly! I thought it would be days before I would be able to create a vision for my sense of self and (and even longer for my artwork) but within HOURS it created itself effortlessly, I wasn't trying or planning to create it. I was just going with the flow!


    I love love love this! Thank you, thank you, thank you! It's more than enough!


    Much love,


    Kai <3

  3. #3
    Wow, I love your thread! It's amazing, I just posted on my own practice thread about wanting to be so unique and significant, way beyond "normal" success... and then I decided to scroll down in my feed a bit and my own username in someone else's thread caught my eye And I open up your thread and see you posted about that same topic. There's something very satisfying and delicious about that. Best of luck with your work! You sound inspired! Keep it up!

  4. #4
    Oh wow, thank you PTMM! I'm happy that I'm not the only one that desires "outrageous success!" It's amazing how LOA works, just that fast we find and connect with similar desires that we are actively creating! It's really inspiring and really pumps me up! Thanks again, I can't wait to hear your latest post and successes!

  5. #5

    Wink

    So we're in day 2 and holy cow, I can't even tell you how amazing and intense this day was! I had so many HUGE breakthroughs, tears, realizations, solutions to a life changing milestone and just healing magic!

    Day 2:

    Today's
    Breakthroughs

    Today was by far ONE OF the most healing days of my life. Today, in my day program, I happen to come into the "understanding Identity" class where it was about writing about your past, present and future self. It was very similar to the "visioning" work I started just the day before! I had a lot of time to think about all that I learned on Sunday so when it was time to write about my past self, I knew exactly who that person was. Because I already did when I was talking about my present feelings about my breakthrough about my sense of self.

    Writing, about my past self, the REAL past self was really intense. I realized in such a grander way than I ever seen it before, that I felt weak, insecure, powerless and worthless and that I made no impact in the world. I had to get honest with myself that, even though I had a good childhood, my inner self was extremely fragile and the bad times stuck a lot more. I truly felt that I was powerless and all the negative things that people said to me, was my true self. And even more so, all the progress that I made in myself internally and externally from feeling more sure of myself to manifesting leaving a very toxic home, that it was all a facade. That it wasn't the real deal.

    That I was only doing those things because I was running away from the true, weak and powerless me. It wasn't my "true" power or my "true" self, but me building up my ego and outer facade. I realized that even though I made such GREAT progress, I still wasn't sure if it was all real.

    Like I'm actually changing my life physically, I don't live in the same place, I'm not looking at the same people, I'm about to move into my own home from the shelter, I made physical, see it, touch it, smell it, taste it, measureable changes that OTHER PEOPLE CAN CLEARLY SEE TOO and I'm not sure if this is "my power." If this is really me. Even though, I became so strong in so many ways, I'm still questioning myself. And that really took me over the edge.

    When I read outloud, what I wrote for my past and my present self, I couldn't hold the tears back. Not because I was sad or mad, but this very core of my pain was up to the surface and I allowed it to speak, where it's not just in me, it's out in the universe. I was reading "my pain," the pain that affected my whole life, my greatest fear. And now, I was finally challenging it, I was changing it and healing it so that I'm no longer that weak person, but a truly great one, the person I truly am!

    The truth was finally in the light.

    I'm proud of myself for what I did, it took a lot of courage to speak in front of others about my greatest fear, and I gotten A LOT of loving support for it! It felt wonderful.

    Even after the group was over, the facilitator, two of my friends and myself stayed to continue talking to support each other, it was so natural and beautiful. But that wasn't the greatest part of the day!

    Near the end of the group, maybe when I read my paper or sometime after that, I felt my phone vibrate. I figured it was one of my friends saying hello or something. When I checked it, however, it was one of my closest friends.

    I asked her last week if I could borrow some money for my deposit when I move into my new home. Originally, I asked my mom months before if she could help me and she said she would. I've been in a shelter for over a year and I finally manifested the perfect home, all I needed was the very low deposit for when I move in. My mother had gotten the money and told me she would hold it for me when I would be able to retrieve it. When I came to my mom's house and asked if she had the money, my mom said no, and continued to make it as if, if I didn't need it right now, she could always "scratch it up" when I did need it. I was devastated but I saw this as the universe telling me to let go of her as a support, especially financially. (one of my desires is to obtain outrageous wealth)

    From that, I knew that I didn't want to rely on my family ever again because when I needed them the most, for the most important thing in my life so far, they couldn't come through. In my eyes, I wasn't important enough to them. So I was guided by my angels to ask my closest friend a few days after, my friend that I knew I could trust and would have my best interest at heart.

    I told her the story and she without hesitation said she would help me but had to check if she could give me the full amount I would need, depending if she would get her tax return in time. The weekend passed and even though I had a period of doubt if this would come through, I reminded myself of her character and how everything would work itself out.

    So I'm out the group and I check my text and it's her and she says that she's gotten her tax return so she can give me the full amount! I WAS FLOORED. And so relieved that I didn't have to worry about this anymore, and proud that I was able to ask for help outside of my family. I'm truly am always taken care of, even in the face of a massive disappointment.

    I feel this day had showed me "who I really am" and who I continue to become... A completely strong, able, smart, caring, kind, creative, able and independent person.

    The universe responded to my focus and desire to improve my sense of self, even before I formally asked for it haha! But once I said "this is the area I want to work on" and soothed my emotions about how I truly felt about myself and focused on how I wanted to feel about myself, the result of that was HUUGGEE. Like a tidal wave, the universe threw it in my face where I couldn't deny it.

    I created this, I put my own power into deliberate action and gotten amazing results!

    I feel powerful, impactful, like a game changer, like things are about to change for the better FOR REAL, like a god, like I never felt bad about myself in the first place.

    I feel the type of life and success that I want is a sure thing, because I'm me! It's not this far fleeting thing as it was A DAY BEFORE.

    I fit into my own true desires, amazing, simply amazing!

    I love love love this! Thank you, thank you, thank you! It's more than enough!

    Much love,

    Kai <3

  6. #6
    It's been around 3 days since my last post, even though a lot happened in those 3 days I've been marinating in all the things I learned. I've also been thinking about my vision as myself as an artist and I've been feeling a definite shift in how I think about my art.

    Day 6:

    How I Feel Currently

    I feel really confident in myself. I feel able and I feel that no matter what comes my way, I'll ALWAYS have a way of handling it. I feel strong but not in a "nothing can hurt me kind of way" but in a truly deep internal way. I feel that one of the biggest negative influences in my life lost most if not all of it's power, my father.

    I've been working on the trauma and the toxic relationship with my dad that I decided years ago to completely cut off. One of the biggest things that I thought he negatively affected in me was my sense of self, my identity. But I realized over the course of the week, that before the main traumatic event I had with my dad that I thought screwed up my identity, I felt powerless before that point.

    Going to school and interacting with my peers was tough, and I got bullied a lot which made me feel worthless. I internalized a lot of stuff that happened in and out of school, so from an early age I had this negative belief about myself, and more so, I simply gave my power away (which created more such situations afterwards and caused me to not go after what I really wanted in life). Knowing that, I no longer had to blame my dad about what happened, it still doesn't mean that what he did was right, but now he, and what he did doesn't have to weigh so heavily in my soul. In fact, he lost his power over me, I took it back permanently.

    So the recent therapy work I've been doing as far as the trauma with my dad can be finally done and complete, now knowing that he wasn't the one that screwed up my sense of self, or anyone at that, I can move on a lot more powerful than I ever was.

    Now I want to talk about something a lot more juicey, my art.

    I've noticed this amazing shift in my thoughts about my art, my expectations and just my path as an artist since last week. I feel a lot more comfortable drawing in the style that I truly want to draw in. I love drawing in a really cute anime style, but over the last few years I've been following the crowd in trying to draw in more realistic and complex styles. Even though I do enjoy that style, it's not what I truly want. I don't really love it, I'm just doing it because I think that is the only way people will notice my art, if I draw in a complex style.

    Now that I know that I don't have to be online and post my artwork online, I feel so free with my art. I can draw how I want to draw completely. I've been thinking of pictures I wanted to create that felt really good. I decided to go back and draw in the style(s) that felt good to me, and stopped trying to be the "best" artist, but the most "successful" I can be. I've been thinking about new characters I wanted to create and realized that my path isn't to be the best, to have the most unique style, or to somehow climb this long ladder of competition against other artists. My path is creating a life that I love with my artwork, to be engrossed in my work and spread my work in an easy carefree way. It doesn't have to be my everything like a thought it was, it can be my baby, not money making, ego boosting machine!

    I'm pretty tired right now, but I do feel good about everything that is happening in my life currently. I can't wait to see how this continues to shift.

    Kai <3

  7. #7
    Sounds amazing... can't wait to hear more good things!

  8. #8
    Thank you so much! Yes, me too, things are moving so quickly it's hard to log in everything! But that's a good thing too!

    Kai <3

  9. #9
    I was inspired to write about my current emotions towards my moving situation. I've been waiting a much longer than expected time to finally move out of the shelter that I'm in, which has been really frustrating for me. But in the course of the seemingly delay, I was able to handle a roadblock I didn't see coming, so it was a blessing in disguise. So now, even after that slight hiccup (and other stressful factors that I resolved) and a very empowering moment of me reaching out and asking for help, I'm finding myself again in the feelings of frustration and anger.


    Day 7:

    How I Feel About My Current Moving Situation

    I'm angry, I'm f**king angry. I want to move, I want to move NOW. I'm tired of waiting, I'm tired of sitting here day after day doing the same s**t everyday because I haven't moved. I'm tired of trying to find the light, the positive and the gratitude, it's gotten old MONTHS AGO. I just want to move and start my new life.

    Before coming to the computer I decided to see the blessing in the delay as it is, which was helpful. I was grateful and I realized that I can't make this move happen, but let it happen. But there was a point where I wanted to start speaking this move into happening, and it just didn't feel right. I was told (intuitively) that I need to focus on being grateful for the delay and that the move IS going to happen rather than, trying to manifest (or will) the move to happen.

    Even though I know that's the truth, IT'S NOT WHAT I WANT. I WANT TO MOVE NOT BE GREATFUL FOR THE MOVE. I'm still angry and all I wanted to do is fall to the floor into a full blown tantrum in an effort to show the universe that I'm NOT going to go downstream, I'm NOT going to do what you guide me to do, I want what I WANT and HOW I WANT IT. I feel that I already earned this, I've been through enough, I've done enough WHERE THE F**K IS MY HOME!? WHERE IS IT!!!???

    I'm really tired of living where I am now. I'm tired of being around people ALL DAY LONG. I want to be by myself all day long. I want to be able to do the things I want to do and how I want to do them when I want to. I'm tired of putting on this happy face like I'm happy and content when I'm actually anxious, angry and ready to explode out the starting gate when I finally into my own place (that is where my happiness is). This has been my dream for 6-7 years and I'm finally at the very heels of it and it's TAKING F**KING FOREVER. It's as if it's delaying just to see me swarm just to see if I want it enough, and I'm sick of it.

    I want to sleep all day and not wake up 6-6:30AM every freaking day (for the last 2-3 years) for meal time and before that, trying to help family go to work or ANYTHING. I want to sleep and know that I can stay in bed for a lifetime if I choose, not having to jump at every timed and scheduled event that's in place. I hate that s**t, I really do.

    This isn't me, I'm not the shelter, the rules they place or the philosophy they hold, it's all BS to me. This was just a place to stay, to get my resources together and to GET OUT. I don't hold the values, culture, thoughts, plans or expectations that they have on me or anyone else that goes through these doors. And that is the thing, I'm DIFFERENT. I was born different and I'm going to live a much DIFFERENT life than anyone is going to imagine. I plan that I'm going to achieve great, unique and outrageous success! Just because I've been here, with other people that has a less than positive attitude towards life, money, relationships, self-esteem and etc and don't know about LOA (and don't apply it) doesn't mean I'm destined to live out the same type of life (the overly average life that I feared was my fate from before) they have planned.


    I just had a breakthrough...

    I feel that, because I'm around environments (especially my living space) that is, what I call, anti-LOA, I somehow absorbed that expectation... Or maybe I'm still fearing that I'll never reach the heights of success that I truly dream of. It also could be that, because the staff here are very pushy and try to fit everyone into the same type of limited role(s), I feel threaten that I won't be able to manifest my way out of doing something I don't want. Even though I already did, I manifested the perfect place without needing to have income, I'm just waiting to hear about my move in date, or an update in general in the whole process...


    I guess the real feelings I'm feeling under the anger that I'm not moved out yet, is the fact that this isn't the most spiritually, or LOA friendly place in the world (to put it nicely). Besides the one friend that is just as into LOA as I am, it's pretty much up to me to conjure that positive expectation, to work on my emotions and thoughts. No one around me really knows about this stuff and it's just a drag always having to defend from the nonsense I hear and witness. The fact that people doesn't know about this stuff so they do the action journey and just do stupid s**t. I can't stand being here where I feel so alone intellectually more so but also spiritually at times. That and just I can't make my environment the way I want it to be.


    I'm resenting having to be here still when I feel I deserve SO MUCH BETTER. I'm also unwilling to lower my expectations and standards because of where I am, SCREW THAT. I don't want to settle, accept things as they are because I'm here. I always want to reach for something, not just better, but the BEST it can be. I'm just not in a place where I'm willing to settle, I want the best and I expect it too. I want better, I want a better space, I want what I thought I wanted before this point to be upgraded to something EVEN BETTER, because I know I can have it for virtue of my wanting it. I'm not going to play, "how hard can I work to get desire" game anymore. If I want something, I expect to get it on the fact I want it, that is my new life, my life now, not the one I was taught about that is being rehashed in so many different ways in the current what is.

    I feel guided to stop here...


    So to now soothe myself into a better feeling place:

    I do feel better, in terms that my anger and resentment has gone down, but I don't really feel "good." So now I feel the work is to focus on the good feeling emotions about what I realized.

    Even though I'm still here, even though I'm still doing the same song and dance every week, I don't have to be "that person." I don't have to hold on to the belief that because I'm still here, means that somehow I'm still a "homeless" person and accept the negative stigma that is attached to that idea. I always said from the very beginning of this journey that:


    I'm never homeless because I carry my home wherever I go, in my heart.

    Those are not just pretty words to make me feel better, that is my entire philosophy in life. I know that words and labels are powerful and that I refused to think of myself as something so resistant to my desire as homeless.

    But I now realize that I'm not walking my talk hahahaha! I do have my home inside me, always, even if the outside doesn't reflect that physically. I also carry within me, my values, beliefs and expectations that are priceless. I can't do or pay enough to know my own values and worth. I didn't always have that so to know those things now in such great detail is just as a great blessing as the actual home I'm going to move into soon.

    I'm seeing that it's not moving into the home that is the issue. I just feel that I'm expanding my expectations and wants at such a high and fast state that perhaps the universe is trying to fit it all in the perfect way, since I did grew so much in just one week. And that, it's simply not moving fast enough for me. I want to do and be so much that I already had in place for years and I know I'll have the perfect place to really nurture all those things and more, and the fact I'm ready now and the home haven't manifested yet, I feel SOOOO STUCCCCKKKK.

    I feel that I can't do those amazing things yet and/or I have to wait which is killing me at this point. I can do some of those things now, but... I don't know, I feel really resistant between: should I wait more or just do it now??? No clear answer which I'm okay with, I just want to rest and enjoy the day off I have from the daily grind...

    I feel guided to stop...

    I do feel better in a more good feeling place and I feel guided to just enjoy the day, go with the flow and allow things to happen as they should today, which feels good to me.

    Much love,

    Kai <3

  10. #10
    You are so inspiring, Kai. I read your post and immediately had a breakthrough about my own situation, which I just posted. I believe so much in your new home and I look forward to hearing about it after you move in. You can do this! *hugs*

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