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Thread: True Freedom

  1. #181
    bearsbeetsbattlestar's Avatar
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    This has nothing to do with True Freedom but F-it, I need to work something out.

    Second day in a row jogging at the gym and now I have shin splints. Ta da!
    Which is kind of a bummer, because I was really enjoying myself and now I have to make some adjustments, when I feel like I've barely gotten started. I'm feeling frustrated and irritated. Half because I manifested this to begin with, but the other half because I don't really want to rest or try some alternative machine or exercise.

    I'd like to chill about this but I can't seem to do it in my head so I need to write it out. It's not even necessarily a super strong irritation, but it's messing with my vibe and I want to feel better.

    Some general thoughts.
    Poopy. This is pretty poopy.
    It would've been nice if this would've been smoother.
    I'm annoyed that I'm already having problems.
    (ok my cat just walked up and did something so stinking cute and it was a nice distraction so i'm already feeling better)
    I don't particularly want to take time off just now. (too specific)

    ok now I'm actually feeling a little afraid, what if it doesn't get better for a long time? What if ANY exercise bothers me and I can't do ANYTHING for a while? What if I can't even walk to work? So maybe I was lower than I thought, and I was trying to HFS without even realizing it. I'll start over again but stay in general negative for a while.

    This BLOWS. It SUCKS. I HATE having to stop just when I was getting going.
    Ok yes, this really sucks and I feel like the wind has gone out of my sails a little bit...but...it's not like it's an urgent thing. There's no urgency here. I'm not training for an event with a specific date. This is supposed to be fun, remember?? Ok now I'm laughing at myself, because I took something that was supposed to be fun and really quickly turned it into a stressful experience.
    Injuries happen sometimes. It doesn't mean that I'm 'bad' at LoA. It's just a thing.
    I've had this before just from walking, it gets better in a few days.
    My body will heal itself quickly and I'll be back on track. With better shoes, mine are pretty old. Hey now I can buy myself new running shoes as a treat! That will be fun, I'll go to one of those fancy running stores where they look at your feet carefully and help you pick out something perfect for you.
    Maybe I was pushing too hard- just like how sometimes I try to jump too far when moving up the EGS or picking a better feeling thought.
    Even two steps forward, one step back, is still one step more forward than I was.
    it will be fine.
    I have other options here.
    I trust my body to heal, and in the meantime I will honor it by not pushing too fast too far. My body has been doing an awesome job so far and I'm really proud of it. We're in this together!

  2. #182
    bearsbeetsbattlestar's Avatar
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    Reminder to self:

    How I feel is a CHOICE. If I'm feeling bad, it's simply evidence that I've been focusing on something the wrong way. I can change this anytime I want.

    I can CHOOSE to feel better, just for the sake of feeling better. I can change my mind and line up with something and I will feel better, all without a single external circumstance changing.

    It might not get better all at once or even super fast. It might take some time. It might not be linear, I might have to exhibit a little persistence and keep poking around until I find the right better feeling thought. I might have to keep coming back and tweaking my story. It's going to take 'work.'

    But what's the alternative? Keep feeling crappy? I already know that changing external circumstances won't work, because I will take myself with me. No, I am committed to feeling better. It only seems hard when I can't find the right better-feeling or general thought, when I can't find relief. But I just have to stay focused until I get there. I won't give up.

    Right now my BFT is, I know there is always a way to feel better, even if I can't find the perfect idea or phrase right in this moment. I will try again later, I always find it in the end and it clicks perfectly.

  3. #183
    bearsbeetsbattlestar's Avatar
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    I've been spending a fair amount of time alone lately (just something I felt inspired to do, it's not lonely at all). But tonight some friends and I are going to a show and I'm really excited! I think this means I might be ready to start poking my head out of my shell a little bit. Plus I had drinks with a really fun friend a few days ago and it reminded me how much I like happy hour, if it's with the right person.

    So I'm wanting to do a little pre-paving as I start getting ready for tonight. I think what I would like to focus on is making connections with individual people, when possible. I would like to practice really seeing people, really being present and noticing what they are saying, with my attention on them. This keeps me from feeling self conscious and I like that. I had a lot of success with that technique early on in my true freedom journey but it fell off somewhat. I've been working on some other projects but this feels like a good time to pick it up again!

  4. #184
    bearsbeetsbattlestar's Avatar
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    It's starting to hit me how many beliefs I had/have about HOW THE WORLD WORKS (said in a very serious voice).

    And I don't even realize it until I bring these beliefs up to the surface and examine them.

    I have beliefs about marriage and how it looks and feels and works. Aging and health. Relationships with friends and family. Money and employment. And I've just adopted so many of these beliefs from others and accepted them as true!! Which is fine, it makes perfect sense for the person I was (creator by default). But now I get to break free from these if I want to. I'm feeling a little twinge of excitement about this, I feel like it's been a long time coming.

    SO MANY THINGS ARE POSSIBLE.
    SO MANY WONDERFUL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE.
    SO MANY WONDERFUL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE FOR ME!

    I know this for a fact! I've made it happen so many times. I used to think that work was hard and needed to be stressful and difficult. I did just a tiny bit of work on this topic and holy cow!!!!! Things totally turned around, and it happened really quickly.

    I no longer want to be limited by my own imagination. I want the same changes in other areas that I've experienced in my work life. And actually I think it might be fun to take some of these beliefs, unearth them, dust them off, and consider them individually. I'd like to start with something easy...for me that would be smoking. I've already quit successfully but it's widely believed that quitting smoking is the hardest thing ever. And I did it quickly and easily, with the right tools. So today I'm going to ponder this belief by 'society' that smoking is SO hard to stop doing, and I'm going to contrast that with my own experience which is totally the opposite.

    Maybe for thee, but not for me!!!!!

  5. #185
    JDL's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by bearsbeetsbattlestar View Post
    I'd like to start with something easy...for me that would be smoking. I've already quit successfully but it's widely believed that quitting smoking is the hardest thing ever. And I did it quickly and easily, with the right tools. So today I'm going to ponder this belief by 'society' that smoking is SO hard to stop doing, and I'm going to contrast that with my own experience which is totally the opposite.

    Maybe for thee, but not for me!!!!!
    I agree wholeheartedly... Its all in your mind, and i have made quitting and then smoking for a day or 2 into no problem at all. i just quit again with the greatest of ease now...
    You are so totally right, and i also wish to expand this belief into covering a multitude of subjects...

    I believe its possible... and doable... Focus focus focus...

  6. #186
    bearsbeetsbattlestar's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by bearsbeetsbattlestar View Post
    I no longer want to be limited by my own imagination.
    I'd like to rephrase this:
    I no longer want to be limited by the imaginations of others- others who aren't tapped in or connected to source.

    It's fun to think of large scale limiting beliefs- almost like those cases of mass hysteria caused by some weird bacteria in rye bread that used to cause whole towns to lose their minds, lol. One of my favorites: everyone used to think it was impossible to run faster than a 4 minute mile. Then Roger Bannister did it, and now people are doing it constantly! It's totally no big deal.

    Or scarcity of resources. Every few decades we'll have a wave of people predicting the end of our way of life, overpopulation, how we can't feed all these people, etc. But it's always BS! Some smarty pants always comes in and develops some new technology and makes everything cheap and easy. Here in the US we used to average 20 bushels/acre for corn production. It was this way for a long, long time. Now averages are close to 170, and some places are even growing upwards of 300 and 400 bushels/acre! Same with natural gas, a few short years ago it was $10/mmbtu and we were building import terminals along the gulf coast, now it's below $3 and people are scrambling to retrofit the import terminals to be export terminals. We're swimming in the stuff.

    If you went back in time and told people in the 1920's that we'd be growing 400 bushel corn they would have fallen off their chairs. Same with natural gas just 10 or 15 years ago. The point is, things seem impossible until they don't.

    And I want to be the kind of person who sees the possible, rather than the impossible. And I'm well along the way!

  7. #187
    bearsbeetsbattlestar's Avatar
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    I've had a few pretty crazy emotional outbursts lately with a few different people. Some even in public. This is highly unusual for me- usually I'm (or I SEEM) very calm, measured, easygoing.

    It's really weird and I'm not quite comfortable with it. It's awkward and I'm not sure what to make of it. I fully stand behind my positions in all of the cases, but I've just been getting so aggressive!! And last night I cried in public! I'm embarrassed, more than anything, I think. Even though at the same time I kind of get that this is evidence of something really important shifting inside of me, and it's all good and getting better...I just need to reach for some soothing thoughts because I'm not used to things being this volatile. I'd like these shifts to be a little gentler, I think.

    Some general, better-feeling thoughts:
    It's ok that I have emotions. I'm allowed to have emotions.
    I can be emotional without fearing judgement from others.
    I can show emotions without judging myself.
    Emotions are GOOD. They are NECESSARY. They are USEFUL. We need them, they are our guidance system.
    Emotions are how we connect with others. Sometimes that might be messy. There might be some hurt feelings. But it's worth the risk, because the connection is much more real.
    It's not always going to be this jarring. I'm just in this transition period. There's so much cool shit that's unfolding right now, and it's coming really fast, and that's why I'm feeling a little uncomfortable.
    It really is all good. But if there's any action journey I can take, at least for a little while, it might be to ease up on the booze...these conversations seem to always happen after I'm a little tipsy. Or hell, maybe these are a good thing and I should keep going!

  8. #188
    bearsbeetsbattlestar's Avatar
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    ēHot seater - My question is around one of my base fears, which is afraid of being judged. And I hope I donít need to know what blocks me from loving myself more and having more fun.


    ēAbraham - Letís just get right to this, because weíre going to tell you something. That fear of being judged is valid, because youíre going to be judged, because youíre surrounded by judges. So, itís a valid fear because youíre going to be judged.


    You canít walk through a room that people donít observe you, and from their perspective, form an opinion and a conclusion relative to you. You are the wrong color for some; youíre the wrong religion for some; you wear the wrong clothes for some; you have the wrong color of hair for some... In other words, youíre going to be judged, and on and on, and on it goes.

    The only way that you could ever really get rid of that experience of being judged (in other words, that action journey of being judged) is if you went and lived in a cave where no one would ever see you. And then, youíd worry about the cockroach, or then youíd see the little squirrel and you say, ďWhat are you thinking about?Ē


    So, youíre going to be judged. Itís a fact of living in an environment where other eyes will see you. That is your action journey. But you can be judged and care deeply about it, and you can be judged and not give a rip about it. And the difference between that, is the difference between living happily-ever-after, and being tortured.Because you could never be the right thing for even most of them.


    You canít even always please your mother. Even when you try really, really hard, because sheís fickle. Some days sheís Connected and some days sheís not. And on those days sheís not Connected, give it up. There are so many of you who tried so hard to please her, anyway, and then came away concluding you were a failure because you were incapable of making her feel good. You thought you should be able to. You thought you should be able to stand on your head in enough different ways to make something better for someone...that you could suffer enough to make it better for others. And you cannot, you see.


    You canít get poor enough to help poor people be prosperous, and you canít get sad enough to help sad people get happy, and you canít get perfect enough to help people who want you to be perfect see that you are perfect, because they are fickle. And we donít mean that unkindly; itís just the way it is. Everyoneís looking through their eyes, from their perspective, and they are thinking what they are thinking, and they are going to evaluate everything they see. They evaluate the sky; they evaluate the roads; they evaluate everything.


    Itís part of the deciphering process.
    Itís part of the preferring process.
    Itís part of the concluding, molding of the clay, process.
    Theyíre not wrong in doing that; itís natural; everyone does it: You look around. You conclude. You prefer. Itís part of life. Itís the action journey.
    Itís okay. Itís the way that it is. I can hate it or I can love it. I can embrace it or I can push against it.
    Living conditional love is really tiring. Conditional love says, ďI want to feel good, but I can only feel good under these conditions.Ē
    Unconditional love is freeing.
    In fact, itís the only place where freedom is. Unconditional love says, ďI can feel good, no matter what the conditions because I have power of focus.Ē
    Abraham Hicks✍🏻













  9. #189
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    Just wanted to chime in with some support for you, you're on the right track when you concluded that your outbursts happened as a kind of indicator that big stuff is going on for you, inside. You're making big, deep changes a little at a time, turning a big ship around, and losing what defined your boundaries for so long! Of course you're going to go through some emotional adjustments with that! You're purposely letting go of limiting beliefs that held you back and are going into breathlessly new territory, trying on these new, better beliefs that open up your space and feel a bit like freefalling, they're such expansive, glorious, beautiful beliefs!
    Give yourself a break, some kind self-care. It's a big shift you're going for, and the shift needs to happen bit by itty bitty bit. You know this already, this is just an affirmation of what you already know. When it gets overwhelming and hard, you know to take a deep breath and step back a little, tone down the thought you're trying to adopt as a belief-
    "I am willing to believe"
    "I can try to adopt that belief"
    "I don't have to believe it this red-hot second, I can ease into it"
    You're doing good. Keep finding gentle statements to tell yourself when you feel doubt\resistance, and save the big statements for when you're feeling high-vibing and great!

  10. #190
    bearsbeetsbattlestar's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by christineepiphany View Post
    Just wanted to chime in with some support for you, you're on the right track when you concluded that your outbursts happened as a kind of indicator that big stuff is going on for you, inside. You're making big, deep changes a little at a time, turning a big ship around, and losing what defined your boundaries for so long! Of course you're going to go through some emotional adjustments with that! You're purposely letting go of limiting beliefs that held you back and are going into breathlessly new territory, trying on these new, better beliefs that open up your space and feel a bit like freefalling, they're such expansive, glorious, beautiful beliefs!
    Give yourself a break, some kind self-care. It's a big shift you're going for, and the shift needs to happen bit by itty bitty bit. You know this already, this is just an affirmation of what you already know. When it gets overwhelming and hard, you know to take a deep breath and step back a little, tone down the thought you're trying to adopt as a belief-
    "I am willing to believe"
    "I can try to adopt that belief"
    "I don't have to believe it this red-hot second, I can ease into it"
    You're doing good. Keep finding gentle statements to tell yourself when you feel doubt\resistance, and save the big statements for when you're feeling high-vibing and great!
    Oh my gosh, thank you so much for this!!

    I've spent a long time not showing (or really feeling??) emotions and I think it's just a bit confusing for me and my loved ones when I'm suddenly like, boom! crying and yelling about stuff. I'm like a toddler just learning some new skill, clumsy without much nuance, lol. I'm just trying to keep the collateral damage to a minimum.

    But yeah, overall if feels really good. Even after a HUGE fight with Mr. BBB a few weeks ago and he was really freaked, I felt so much relief and told him I was sorry he was upset but I felt super happy that we'd fought. I'm sure it was confusing for him but the relief I found in yelling at him was like a drug, it reminded me how much I care about him after being on autopilot for a long time.

    It's all good and getting better!!

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