Page 3 of 19 FirstFirst 1234567813 ... LastLast
Results 21 to 30 of 190

Thread: True Freedom

  1. #21
    Jewel M.'s Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2008
    Location
    , , USA
    Posts
    945
    I love your fun experiment!

    And this about listening:


    Quote Originally Posted by bearsbeetsbattlestar View Post

    Might as well just turn inward, be quiet, listen, and then do and say what I feel like doing and saying. There's more wisdom there than I know.

    I also enjoy writing to reorient myself. By writing, everything becomes clearer and more orderly...like reorganizing a closet where everything is placed in the proper spot....shoes on the bottom and sweaters might be folded on a shelf....instead of a whir of everything...tousled. Sometimes, I only write 3 sentences or 4 words to myself...but those few words reset my focus.

  2. #22
    bearsbeetsbattlestar's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2014
    Location
    appreciation
    Posts
    539
    Quote Originally Posted by Jewel M. View Post
    I love your fun experiment!

    And this about listening:




    I also enjoy writing to reorient myself. By writing, everything becomes clearer and more orderly...like reorganizing a closet where everything is placed in the proper spot....shoes on the bottom and sweaters might be folded on a shelf....instead of a whir of everything...tousled. Sometimes, I only write 3 sentences or 4 words to myself...but those few words reset my focus.
    This is SO TRUE! I've noticed that I can't seem to organize my thoughts on some topics until I'm forced to write them out.

  3. #23
    bearsbeetsbattlestar's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2014
    Location
    appreciation
    Posts
    539
    Interesting day yesterday. Was feeling deeply anxious all day about a big meeting in the afternoon. It was chaos: I didn't know whether or not I'd even be attending, and if I was, whether or not I'd be leading the meeting or just observing, etc. I was attending with my boss and it's always made me extra nervous when he's in the room. I've always felt like he was silently judging or disapproving. Usually I end up just letting him do all the talking because I'm afraid I'll say something he will disagree with.

    I took some time and did some soothing/going general a few hours before the meeting and was only a tiny bit successful at feeling better, but I guess it was enough! He was late to the meeting and I just jumped in and ran the whole thing, remembering all my recent success about really seeing other people and making connections through eye contact, etc. Boss man chimed in at the end but I think he appreciated not having to do all the work. He even told me 'good job' after (never happens, lol) and I got a big, sincere thank you from our client.

    I mean it was SUCH a good experience. So different. I was so PRESENT and that made it actually FUN!!!! I cannot believe it. I actually had FUN at a meeting where in the past I'd be sweating bullets and my jaw would actually be sore from holding tension there. I was sitting in a big, slick conference room around an enormous table around which sat a whole bunch of men in fancy suits (plus one woman!), and I RAN that meeting. I'm so happy, and proud, and I feel like I can calmly take on so much more than I realized.

    Holy cow, what an improvement in just a few days.

    Observation: when I was going general earlier in the day to feel better, the only thought that really resonated and truly made me feel better was still pretty negative: I told myself that if nothing else, at least it would be over by 4:30 and that I could come home and snuggle with the cat. But even general negative is better than specific negative, I guess!


  4. #24
    lemon-up's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2011
    Location
    I MUST ! Appreciate >> : ME:
    Posts
    31,378
    bbbs, I am enjoying your thread

  5. #25
    bearsbeetsbattlestar's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2014
    Location
    appreciation
    Posts
    539
    Quote Originally Posted by lemon-up View Post
    bbbs, I am enjoying your thread



    If I'd have known how FUN it was going to be, I wouldn't have put off the topic for so long, I can tell you that much!

    For that reason alone this has been an immeasurably valuable project. How many times have I approached something with dread and it ended up being...totally fine, NBD.

  6. #26
    Jewel M.'s Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2008
    Location
    , , USA
    Posts
    945
    Quote Originally Posted by bearsbeetsbattlestar View Post
    Observation: when I was going general earlier in the day to feel better, the only thought that really resonated and truly made me feel better was still pretty negative: I told myself that if nothing else, at least it would be over by 4:30 and that I could come home and snuggle with the cat. But even general negative is better than specific negative, I guess!

    It is not truly "negative", if the thought allows you to release resistance....a positive effect.

    I love your entire manifestation....the fun meeting and the validation from your boss!

  7. #27
    bearsbeetsbattlestar's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2014
    Location
    appreciation
    Posts
    539
    Quote Originally Posted by Jewel M. View Post
    It is not truly "negative", if the thought allows you to release resistance....a positive effect.

    I love your entire manifestation....the fun meeting and the validation from your boss!
    Yes!! It's taken some time for me to understand on a deep level that better is good enough for now. It doesn't have to be perfect, or great, or even good. And what's helped tremendously is the pressure I've taken off for needing the situation to change before I can feel better. I can take my time.

    A little better
    Then a little better
    Then a little better
    Then a little better

    This is how big changes happen. It's so nice.


  8. #28
    bearsbeetsbattlestar's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2014
    Location
    appreciation
    Posts
    539
    This morning I had some feedback on a report I'm working on and it made me feel bad. I made a few careless mistakes and didn't check my work carefully, and it's left me feeling guilty and icky and a little bit useless.

    Ugh. I know better than this. I hate making mistakes, especially when I could have done a better job if I'd just taken my time and double checked things. But no, I was so excited to get it off my plate that I just sent off the email last night without thinking. Now I'm afraid that my boss is annoyed with me.

    Generally negative: this feels gross, I'm definitely not a fan of this guilt/fear combo. Allowing myself to feel negative emotion is scary and draining sometimes. I want to move onward and upward into neutral but I'm struggling to get out of negative. I'm just going to breathe and sit with it for a while.

    This sucks, but the stakes are very low, at least. And hey, this is why I have people check things before they go out to external parties! So our system of checking and correcting is working. So that's good. And I'm kind of joking here, but maybe it's good that I still make mistakes because it keeps the checkers of the work on their toes!

    Yes of course it feels better to get positive feedback on a job well done, but mistakes sometimes happen. Shoot, I've made hundreds, thousands, millions of mistakes in my life and I'm doing great, overall!! Even the person checking my work who found the mistakes makes his own mistakes! This is a team effort and we're all striving for the same goals. And there have been plenty of times when I've gotten replies like 'perfect!' or 'no comments' after turning in a report for review.

    And you know what...again, I'm ASSUMING that he's annoyed or judging me but I have zero evidence that this is true. It's just a story I'm making up in my own head. There's so much I do that's right, why do I focus so much on the mistakes? It's so funny that I do this. So it really has nothing to do with him, it's all to do with how I see my own work and I'm judging MYSELF and automatically proscribing those feelings onto someone else.

    I mean, this is kind of a big moment. This is a thing that I do. How nice to know that, in addition to having control over how others feel about me by raising my own vibration, I can additionally just change my own opinion of myself and know that my imaginings of others' opinions of me will also change, like magic...because I made them all up in my own head to begin with!


  9. #29
    bearsbeetsbattlestar's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2014
    Location
    appreciation
    Posts
    539
    I still get lost in the city where I live when I go to a new spot, and I often use the maps app on my phone to help me find the address.

    Sometimes I discover that I'm walking the wrong way once I get partway down a block. If this happens, I ALWAYS keep walking and round the corner to walk down a different block, instead of just turning around and retracing my steps. Why do I do this? BECAUSE I DON'T WANT PEOPLE TO THINK I DON'T KNOW WHERE I'M GOING.

    Not anyone in particular, just PEOPLE.

    I don't even know why this would be such a bad thing, if a person noticed that I walked the wrong way and had to turn around. But at some point my brain became convinced that it was really IMPORTANT that nobody discover it. It's all borderline insane and actually pretty funny. I mean I've been doing this for 10 years at least.

    BUT NOT ANYMORE! Last night I went the wrong way and I automatically started to keep walking to turn the corner and walk back on a different block and suddenly realized what I was doing, how long I've been doing it, and how weird it is. It was so funny!!! I almost started laughing out loud.

    Just another example of a behavior I don't need anymore. I can't wait to see what happens next!!!


    Last edited by bearsbeetsbattlestar; 05-27-2016 at 07:00 AM. Reason: Weird grammar due to sleepy brain

  10. #30
    JDL's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2015
    Location
    Copenhagen, Denmark.
    Posts
    513
    Quote Originally Posted by bearsbeetsbattlestar View Post
    I still get lost in the city where I live when I go to a new spot, and I often use the maps app on my phone to help me find the address.

    Sometimes I discover that I'm walking the wrong way once I get partway down a block. If this happens, I ALWAYS keep walking and round the corner to walk down a different block, instead of just turning around and retracing my steps. Why do I do this? BECAUSE I DON'T WANT PEOPLE TO THINK I DON'T KNOW WHERE I'M GOING.

    Not anyone in particular, just PEOPLE.

    I don't even know why this would be such a bad thing, if a person noticed that I walked the wrong way and had to turn around. But at some point my brain became convinced that it was really IMPORTANT that nobody discover it. It's all borderline insane and actually pretty funny. I mean I've been doing this for 10 years at least.

    BUT NOT ANYMORE! Last night I went the wrong way and I automatically started to keep walking to turn the corner and walk back on a different block and suddenly realized what I was doing, how long I've been doing it, and how weird it is. It was so funny!!! I almost started laughing out loud.

    Just another example of a behavior I don't need anymore. I can't wait to see what happens next!!!


    I know the feeling, and its soooo stupid you can only laugh when you realise how much of our own power we are just giving away, just so they wont think badly about us...

    Not to mention, most other people dont even notice us, and if they do, they might just think i changed my mind, or forgot something... In any way, we cant know what they think, but by not caring, and only doing whats best for us, we retake the power to feel good... Love it...

    Its a wonderful thread BBB, just keep doing this and you will soar in more unexpected ways...

    Thanks for the read...

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •