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Thread: Soothing myself, doing the work and little steps

  1. #71
    LaughingElf's Avatar
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    Making peace

    I make peace with the pain in my body. I give up! The pain can be there. I allow it. I give up fighting against and complaining about it. It would be nice, if my health would be better and I would find it easier to feel good. But it is like it is. I allow the pain to be there. I allow the exhaustion to be there.

    I give up complaining against cyclists driving on the pavement, while I'm walking there.
    I give up fighting against all those sorrows and thoughts that cause fear about my life. I give it all up.
    I give up the complaining about my current work project and my superior. I give up my discomfort. I relax into all of this. My life is, how it is. My vibration is, how it is.
    At least I know those lower vibrations and the techniques that help me to feel better. I know what to do. And I hope, that I will get better at holding myself in a higher vibration.

    I make peace with my reactions to other peoples' comments. I'm still in a low vibration, it's ok, if I react in a way, that doesn't feel good.

    I relax now and approach my work in an easier way. I do the easy stuff first. Then the other parts will be easier for me to handle, too, I hope. It's ok.
    I make peace with this loa-thing, even if it doesn't feel like the promised freedom. If I don't quit resisting, there'll be more pain. That's not freedom. That's only the freedom to obey a law or not to and experience awful consequences. Maybe we are so powerful, that we can create our own universal laws. Until then, I guess I just have to deal with his fricking law. Give up the fight. Give it all up. Give in into this strange gaming world that is my personally created reality.

    I wonder why so many people like to obey such laws? Maybe it's only me, who's so unhappy? Maybe they like to live with laws. While I miss to fly around, defying gravity, living eternally as long as I wish and aging is nowhere heard of. Maybe it's because living here feels like being stuck in the stone age. Yeah, those are my thoughts. Right now, I don't feel.like being the power- and joyful creator I am in other realities. That's ok. One step at a time. I'll get there eventually. Or I'll croak. It doesn't matter. It's ok. I give up. This life, this world is like it is for now. Eventually it will change. Change to better. But first I tend to feeling better. I give up and just do my work. Then go home and try to take a nap. I give up. Feel the pain, the sorrow, let it be. Give up. This is not the way to get my happy life through fighting against it all. I make peace with it. Feel peaceful, be gentle to myself. Relax. Breathe. Give up. Feel the peace. Feel the love coming from my inner being. Give it up. Give up.

  2. #72
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    Trying to feel good, despite what-is. And if I think of my dreams, I bring myself to look at the current state and try to make peace with it. Step by step to give up on yearning for my wishes. To lay them aside. Just get in a good mood. And I'm starting with gathering the positive things that happened the day over.
    I even try to find things, that I like and think about them some more. I'm making baby-steps.

    Today I made peace with some of my unpleasant thoughts about someone. And the situation was more relaxed than before. Then out of the blue my co-worker started talking about a wish in detail, that is very similar to one of mine. And later I overheard people talking about the same topic.
    I felt very exhausted on my way home and made a decision, that turned out to be the worst of the three choices I saw for myself. I thought, it would be the path of least resistance. Ok, it wasn't. I think it was running away from what I don't like. I just sit down now and let the momentum of this experience pass. I'm still alive. Unharmed. Everything is ok. I'm safe now.

  3. #73
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    Shortly after practicing giving up, signs of my greater wishes occured. And something job-related, that I thought of recently. I didn't feel good about it though, because it would be another compromise to what I really want, that has some disadvantages. I tried to find better thoughts about it and to take out the pressure. I climbed up the EGS. But eventually I dropped into full-panic-mode, that I hadn't experienced in a while. Only because I somehow attracted part of what I fear most.

    Now I feel worse than before. I wish I could have stayed in the hopeless-not-caring-state, that I was in before this and that this job-option never showed up!
    I don't want to practice making-peace and giving-up any more, if this is the result. I don't want to feel worse and worse any more! I don't want all this physical pain any more! All-that-is can shove up this law of attraction-bullsh... its infinite a..!!!

    Blablabla, I'm too focused on what I don't want and like, blablabla! Then live my fu...ing life and do it better!!!!! Come on!!! Show me how to do it!!!
    All those oh so happy people with their oh so great lifes, with their tiny problems coming up to the Abraham workshops.

    And then this: "Oh, you have depression? Just think of a time, when you were happy and it all goes magically away." - Thank you Abraham! Biggest laugh ever! I don't think, they even know how it is to live such a life. Just floating in their pain-free-ever-happy zone, spilling crappy advices.

    Hurray, another day full of pain, exhaustion and depression only because you get kicked in the face harder and harder, if you don't get up on the EGS. Hey, isn't this great? We are free to suffer, if we don't comply! We're really free! So free, we have to obey such idiotic universal laws or suffer, like being punished by those religious god figures. Only difference Abraham tells you, it's your fault. Yeah, it's my fault! Growing up like this, having now a full crap-load of bad beliefs. And not getting those techniques right.

    If I would lay down on the floor and never get up again, how long does it take until I'm released from this damned life?

  4. #74
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    22. Feeling so terrible. I attract so much, what I hate and what evolves more fear and the belief, that I'm totally out of control.
    21. How I am ever going to be able to change my beliefs, with those annoying conditions in my life?
    20. I envy all the people, that live their lifes in a much happier state. That never experienced something like this!
    19. I hate this neighbour and his noisyness!!! I hate, that I'm too afraid to tell him, how I dislike his behaviour! I hate, that it's so hard for me to talk to someone who I don't know much, without this stupid fearful thoughts and behaving like an obsequious idiot! I hate to live! I hate to experience such things! I hate, that I can't stay in virtual worlds forever and never come back! I hate that this is affecting me so much, that my health is a mess, that i only want to flee frfom all those annoying circumstances!
    18. I wish this society would totally fall apart. That everything would go to hell! And everywhere you go, there would be people suffering and screaming. And then, there would be forever silence. A world with only few people remaining. Wouldn't that be great? No more noise! No more awkward rules, no more anything!
    17. I don't like, that I always end up, with what I don't like. And even if I reduce resistance, just something that doesn't feel overly good appears. What is all this practicing, meditating, etc. good for, when I only find myself back at the bottom in time?
    16. Isn't there a way to just kill this stupid hope in me? That would be so helpful. And the step of ending my life would be much easier available.
    15. If it wasn't for all those people who made me believe so many idiotic things, that now make my life hell, I wouldn't be in this place!
    14. What if I never get to make peace with all this and my life goes on in that way until I can't bear it any more?
    13. I'll never be happy with those circumstances. And if I try, it will only get worse.
    12. Every decision that I make seems to end in getting what I dislike.
    11. I manage to feel better, inbetween. But overall, I don't think my vibration has gotten to a higher place in the last few months. It just shifted between some topics. Some become better, while others became worse.
    10. Even a free day is something I fear, because I attract the things I hate.
    9. I should give up on life allready. It's so pointless!
    8. Wouldn't it be nice, if I could get myself to move out of town, to a place that I think will be quieter, buy a car and give a damn about the costs. And try again to make the best out of it all from that place.

  5. #75
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    Thinking about suicude. And how negatively it is judged in our societies. Abraham knows it's relief. They don't judge. That's why I can write about it here. Maybe future generations will have it easier to commit suicide, because it will be allowed to do.

    I don't know, why I still go on. I tried to give up and make peace. But that totally backfired and I found myself searching for methods to kill myself. I'd like to know of an easy way. I'd like to be at the point where I know, if it's easier to end this life or go on trying to feel better about and.
    Someone said it took them half a year to accept their life as it is right now.
    Half a year...
    I always tell myself, that everything will get better only to find out after months it didn't. But I go on telling myself this. And I'm afraid, that in half a year I'll end uo again like before.

    I'm so tired of all this practicing. I'm so tired of this life. I'm tired of my fears that keep me in the same place. I'm tired of dealing with all of it alone. I'm tired of incompetent doctors and therapists. I'm tired of all this pain. I am the creator of my own hell and I seem to be too stupid/resistant/whatever to change it. I don't know what to do. Everything is so senseless.

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