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Thread: Soothing myself, doing the work and little steps

  1. #101
    LaughingElf's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2016
    Maybe people, who are reading the things I wrote so far are like: 'Yeah, it's no wonder, she attracts so much unwanted stuff in her life.' That's what I think sometimes, while reading other people's questions and stories here. It's easy, when you're not involved. It seems so clear. Just do the techniques and stick to them, until you're fine. So the theory or is it not?

    What has helped me so far?

    - climbing up on the Emotional Scale for four weeks, until I felt good enough to 'make peace with everything' and Focus Wheels
    - 'making peace', training myself to feel calm, and accepting all that is. No wishes, no hoping for anything, no nothing. Just accepting. I then had one day, that I felt joyful and even comfortable in my body.
    - writing with someone regularly about the positive things and our little successes
    - giving up - this softened pain and things I wished for, came to me, because I no longer cared about them
    - writing about what I'm grateful for - changed my thought patterns to ones, that felt better
    - when I was in a higher vibration, I had fun visualizing myself as being happy and curious around people. I had rediscovered this alter ego and put her in a scenario, that I liked. It all happened without planning. It was just for fun and so helpful in the outcome.

    What do I do now?

    I feel like giving up, is a good idea. Emotional Scale also sounds good. I already felt my thoughts going up from despair to anger, naturally.
    Appreciating, that I can just sit here in the sun, doing nothing, thinking nothing, listening to music.

    I don't need to figure it all out now, what can help me and how to soothe the resistance.
    Maybe today I get this e-mail ready, asking for some advice, where I can find additional help.
    It would be so awesome, if there's a doctor/therapist in my city, who knows of Abraham or at least has the loving and understanding vibration like them. Oh yes, that would be so cool.
    And I would love to imagine my alter ego recovering easily to full health. Or maybe it would be better to imagine her being healthy. I mean, it is naturally for her to be healthy.
    Ok, but how do I close the gap?

    How did I close the gap, while I was imagining my alter ego, having fun while being around other people? Hm...
    I think, I kind of accepted my insecurities and was too occupied in training myself to smile and feel better. Huh...
    So, do I accept my body and it's health? Phew... Giving up there.... I just give up. It is, like it is. I can sit here and write. I can eat. I can drink. I managed to walk around and do all the stuff, I needed to. I can relax now. I can smell. I can hear. I can see. I feel the warmth of the sun.
    I will relax a bit. Answers and solutions are coming.

  2. #102
    LaughingElf's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2016
    I give up. I give up. There's no point in being in despair because of the pain and this physical condition. I give up. I give up.
    I don't believe in help. I give up. I don't believe in health. I give up. I don't believe in a happy life. I give up.
    I give up. I don't see a way out of despair. Any time I managed to get into higher vibrations, I fell down to the bottom again and again. I give up.
    I don't know how to think differently. I tried, I experienced some positive changes, then I fell back into the old behaviour again and felt stuck. I give up. There's no point.
    People claim, that it will get better. But it just gets worse again. I give up. I don't believe them any more. I give up.
    I don't believe, that I will find someone who is going to practice seriously with me to change thoughts to better feeling ones. I don't believe, that there are therapists, that could help me. I give up.
    I don't think, I will feel better today and get myself to do the stuff, that needs to be done. I just sit here in all the dirt. I give up.
    I don't know how to feel better about food, when it all causes so much pain. I don't know how to believe, that my body is able to digest properly. I don't believe, there are doctors who can help me. I give up.
    I give up.
    I give up.
    I give up.
    Welcome pain. Welcome fatigue. Welcome dirt. I give up. Have a nice stay. I give up. I give up.

  3. #103
    LaughingElf's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2016
    I guess, I'm in the 'Law of attraction has to fix it'-mode. I struggle to find trust in loa and myself. I can't create deliberately, unless I don't think about it much or just have fun with it. I experienced first signs of things, I wanted to manifest, but went back to What-is-itis.
    I see negative manifestations and can relate them to my vibration. I see positive manifestations and can relate them to my vibration.
    BUT I don't trust, that it is enough to feel good. And if I try, I feel like forcing myself. And the struggle continues. Because now I have to be in a better mood. I have to do the work! But I can't get there from there. I do all the techniques, I do even feel better. Until it's all back to the beginning.
    So, what can I change? How can I gain trust?
    How do I accept, that I have to make peace first?
    How do I accept little steps? Or none at first?
    Loa isn't there to fix things. It's not about fixing. It's not about struggling to get into a better mood.
    I want to be over there. Where there is the happy me, that has fun manifesting stuff and knows it's easy. I jumped over there before, but couldn't sustain it.

    Ok, what do I have here?
    I didn't think too much about manifesting things and those things manifested. I thought 60 seconds about something and loa brought even two of them in my reality. And also things I enjoyed virtually, showed up in their closest forms. That was awesome and fun!
    Ugh, can it really be that easy? But I have to be in a good mood...struggle, struggle, stop it!
    I do the techniques. I know some of them very well. And I experienced improvements. ( stop it!) Improvements.
    First signs of manifestations showed up! That is huge! First signs! Meaning, something is happening! It can't be a lie?
    So why do I still doubt it??? I don't know. I do. There's fear. Fear of negative experiences.
    Ok. Maybe that's a starting point. I feel fear to trust. I feel fear to believe in loa. (just need some time, to let this settle in)

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