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Thread: Dealing with past & unfulfilled desires from the past.

  1. #131
    songbird's Avatar
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    Great post.

  2. #132
    Quote Originally Posted by Hands in the Clay
    I was wrong I had actually read this thread in it's entirety.

    What I have read is of great disappointment to me, and the thread is inconclusive.

    On the one hand we have joyfulnow expressing his desire to be a teenager again (and he's only 20 writing the thread), re-iterating the claim:

    Quote Originally Posted by joyfulnow
    that you can be , do or have WHATEVER you want
    ...and on the other you have people explaining away, convoluting and substituting, generally an exercise in double speak. I do wish I could write on that thread but the OP hasn't been active for 6 years now.

    Just a few examples:

    Quote Originally Posted by marc
    Everyone is absolutely young in your visualizations, but that's not necessarily what's going on in your Vortex. Your IB doesn't need the conditions to change in order to see the best in everyone and everything -- it sees the rightness of what is and it is also living the expansion that what is has created. Your visualizations aren't the same thing - you're trying to visualize a certain set of conditions so that you can feel good as you observe them... and that's just fine, but at the heart of things there's still that resistance to what is that holds you apart from the way your IB is looking at things.
    ...the above is the explaining away of the desire for actual physical youthing.

    Quote Originally Posted by AttractionFactor
    Yet, I think there is one thing to hear, which has been mentioned by the other posters, and that is no matter what, you are going to get older. You can do virtual reality over and over, and capture the feeling of your youth, but your body is going to age. Abraham has mentioned that we were not intended to live in these bodies forever
    So we cannot do/be whatever we want then....

    Quote Originally Posted by JDL
    If you want things to change you need to stop talking so much about what a hard life you had, stop feeling so sorry for yourself, and start "the work", do not wait for the conditions to change, do as much as you possibly can right now, right where you are... and then maybe your conditions will become better (if you work on it)
    My life has de facto been harder than anyone I know (and I have friends who survived cancer), it'd be like saying Jesus Christ being crucified wasn't a harder experience than the average person dying a natural death. I would have rather had cancer or been hit by a car as a young man than had to have gone through what I've been through, I could write a book and it'd probably a best seller (although a depressing one) for most people to appreciate even the little they have in their lives. I've literally been through hell not of my creating and now that I'm coming out of it exhausted and in poverty, I'm no longer a young man anymore with all the desires of a young man unfulfilled.

    Quote Originally Posted by Hands in the Clay
    I think the most important thing that has come from this page of posts is a clearer picture of what is going on: This is about regretting what you've done with your early years, and wanting a "do-over." It's about you kicking yourself for choices you made from a "less-wise" perspective, "If only I'd known then what I know now...." It's about wondering where you'd be now if you'd done things differently, and being convinced that you've wasted that time, and can never change things. That life is a "one-shot deal" and you f*cked up the best part of it. I don't say this lightly, because I, too, have a "clouded" past and have lots of things I could look back on with great regret. I can even look back on my newbie Aber time with regret, if I choose to, so I'm not being glib here, OK?

    And THAT'S your starting point in doing your emotional work. Let go of this "youthing" cover story, this "cover desire," even, which is a hard, resistant, nearly desperate shell that you want to use to address the real issue of "lost time," because trying to do Abe work on the "youthing" issue could never "stick" when there is this much bigger, much more painful issue of regret and self-blame for time you "wasted" and how you've lived your life (whether through conscious choices or the impact of circumstance before you knew you had the power to do things differently). That's like trying to do 100 crunches each morning to get fit while ignoring the fact that you're miserable inside and have nothing but potatoes and Coke in your kitchen cabinets.

    Deal with the REAL issue. Let your guard down to yourself.
    That's exactly what it is not, note that when I said I wanted to go back in time (which I still do, my IB can take the finger as for it's expansion and collected experience), I did not say I wanted to know more or have the knowledge I have now regarding affairs of the past and I also would be facing the exact same problems. Therefore one would suppose given the same conditions, I would make exactly the same decisions - EXCEPT I'd like to give myself one very very short book (nothing to do with LOA, Spirituality or any such affairs) - this is the work/help the angels/IB/whoever should have done when they were twiddling their thumbs doing **** all while I was in the trenches getting massacred, just this slight nudge would have put me in the right direction and I'm confident I would have dealt with the rest - despite still being in a very difficult situation.

    It's not regretting what I've done with my early years or wanting a "do-over" I didn't get a first chance even (and I fought until I was bloodied down to the bone), it's wanting to experience what I saw I missed out on and cannot be experienced at this age - I was there I saw it, had it presenting to myself, was in a disastrous situation - may as well have been in prison for more than a decade. Since what I want is a young persons game, even 25 is too old for it and I refuse to continue a life without having experienced it, for all intents and purpose I'm already more than a decade too old for it, so even 22 is meagre youthing.

    Quote Originally Posted by JDL
    But i cant help notice that you say you want to achieve youth again, but then you talk about genes not being young or something like that (This is a contrary belief) and you talk about natural ageing (So now you believe your ageing (or younging) should happen against what you believe is natural)

    Can you see how you have several beliefs contrary to what you desire in this thread?
    I didn't state that as a belief, that's my observation of the natural order of things, you may call that a belief yes, so yes I believe or I observe that naturally and unconsciously we physically age, do I believe we can "youth", the truth to this answer is I really don't know, I'm on the verge of believing it's possible from within but keep receiving conflicting information.

    Quote Originally Posted by WellBeing
    As I said, when Abraham say "You can be, do or have whatever you want," they mean that. They're not like a car commercial where there are all sorts of fine-print riders excluding this and that. As I also said, from the perspective of everything that you've put in your Vortex, you really don't want to turn back time.
    Good, because I will not accept any form of substitution, or explaining away, or double speak regarding that above statement, if it just 'feels' like what I want that is not acceptable, it is a physical change that I'm after.

    It is either youthing to a physical age of 22 (more than a decade), even 20 would do nicely or I look to check out as fast as possible. Before the mirror used to tell me I look young, the change I'm looking for means I don't want to have to convince myself and/or the mirror, I'd like it to tell me, anything less is unacceptable.

    As for things in my Vortex, the whole experiment of God trying to know itself can frankly take the finger, just like it could when they allowed their man to be put on a cross. Anything less on my part means I'll just go Kaivalya or what is spiritual and eternal suicide, I will not accept a 2nd rate life in what has been the experience of a "pain amplifier" and unfulfilled misery, I will not live a life filled with unfulfilled desire - desires that at my age are not fulfillable, especially when the forces from the other side did such a shoddy job of helping me out at the most critical juncture - and it's quite convenient to blame the child once the abuse is done.

    Quote Originally Posted by night
    joyfulnow, I'm all for forever young etc. but it seems to me that your question is not so much of physical nature. You wish to be fresh to adulthood and still look at it as a teenager, but that state of consciousness is gone, even if you had a teen body back you wouldn't have the head of a teen back. It's like saying I wish I didn't know what I know.
    This is from the joyfulnow's thread and makes for a very good point, I'll also be looking to entirely forget the last decade, wiping it clean from my mind, consciously would like to go back to at least being 22 again and ageing appropriately from there.

    I will not accept substitution in any form whatsoever, I've had enough bitter pills to swallow and amputations.
    Last edited by sailorboat; 10-04-2017 at 08:36 AM.

  3. #133

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    Quote Originally Posted by sailorboat View Post

    That's exactly what it is not, note that when I said I wanted to go back in time (which I still do, my IB can take the finger as for it's expansion and collected experience),

    ".... - this is the work/help the angels/IB/whoever should have done when they were twiddling their thumbs doing ****"...

    "As for things in my Vortex, the whole experiment of God trying to know itself can frankly take the finger, just like it could when they allowed their man to be put on a cross."
    Sailorboat, you have moved up the EGS from powerlessness/despair to anger. That's really wonderful: You are actually doing 'the work'!

  4. #134
    Super Moderator WellBeing's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Palimpsest View Post
    Sailorboat, you have moved up the EGS from powerlessness/despair to anger. That's really wonderful: You are actually doing 'the work'!
    What a lovely and accurate perspective!

  5. #135
    Quote Originally Posted by Palimpsest View Post
    Sailorboat, you have moved up the EGS from powerlessness/despair to anger. That's really wonderful: You are actually doing 'the work'!
    Except for that will get me closer to the grave, than physically youthing to 10 years younger at least.

  6. #136
    Super Moderator WellBeing's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by sailorboat View Post
    Except for that will get me closer to the grave,...
    ETA: And you went back down to Powerlessness and Despair. You did that with your focus. What's your emotional guidance system telling you about what you're doing with your focus?

    Since we're here to discuss the teachings of Abraham, I'd like to you to show me where in these teachings Abraham say that.

  7. #137
    Quote Originally Posted by WellBeing View Post
    ETA: And you went back down to Powerlessness and Despair. You did that with your focus. What's your emotional guidance system telling you about what you're doing with your focus?

    Since we're here to discuss the teachings of Abraham, I'd like to you to show me where in these teachings Abraham say that.
    On the contrary the thought of death, gives me a lot of peace, I welcome it, I'm very very tired.

    If I knew it's actually possible to physically youth or go back in time in this lifetime (how is still beyond me) I feel outrageous joy.

    When I come back to the reality that it's not possible and my desires must remain unfulfilled, I feel like everything I set out to achieve is behind me and I'd be quite happy to leave, staying here is just wasting time / living unecessarily.

  8. #138
    Super Moderator WellBeing's Avatar
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    Moderator's note

    Quote Originally Posted by sailorboat View Post
    On the contrary the thought of death, gives me a lot of peace, I welcome it, I'm very very tired.

    If I knew it's actually possible to physically youth or go back in time in this lifetime (how is still beyond me) I feel outrageous joy.

    When I come back to the reality that it's not possible and my desires must remain unfulfilled, I feel like everything I set out to achieve is behind me and I'd be quite happy to leave, staying here is just wasting time / living unecessarily.
    I'm putting my Moderator's hat on here:

    That's not what I asked. Where in these teachings do Abraham tell us that doing the "work" (as Palimpsest recognized) "will get me closer to the grave"?

    For your thread to stay open, you will need to answer this question. Otherwise, I will close this thread as being off-topic.

  9. #139
    Wellbeing, let me explain.

    I'm aware anger is on the EGS scale of reclaiming your power, and on the way to relief etc. etc. except with myself it doesn't work like that.

    States of hopefulness, optimism and positive thinking invariably lead me back down to grief and depression.

    States of anger invariably lead me directly to peace (skipping most of the EGS scale), it is at this point that I feel quite ok with going to the grave, it is when I'm at peace that the ideation occurs, as in death right now would be welcome peace - this type of thinking occurs when I'm at peace, like I don't want anything anymore, hence why I said..

    Except for that will get me closer to the grave,...
    It's only when I re-enter living life etc. (where going to my grave is not on my mind) trying to fulfill desires etc. EGS scale stuff etc. that I go into the same cycle of suffering as before, since I am well past my "fulfillment" window.

    This is why I see meditation as a last ditch attempt to side track my mind and any thinking involved, it may however lead to the same place of peace and the decision and thoughts that I'm ready to move on now/leave that I get when I feel at peace.

    I am just starting to re-read AAIG again, although I had to spend the last 3 days in and out of hospital all day (not due to my being ill howeve, and also where I managed to get a moment to write the last responses), I'm on chapter 6, so please give me a chance to read it for the 3rd time as well as ordering the other books suggested before shutting this down.

  10. #140
    Super Moderator WellBeing's Avatar
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    So, what you're saying is that Abraham DO NOT say that doing the "work" by climbing the Scale and feeling the relief of that "will lead [any of us] closer to the grave." That's simply a resistant thought that you have. I understand that this has been your experience because you have created this experience for yourself with this (and the other) resistant thoughts you've been sharing in your thread.

    But it's clear that your intention is not to discuss these teachings (in part because you seem to have no understanding of these teachings. But you're addressing that issue--Good for you.) The topic of The ABE Forum continues to be the discussion of these teachings and our application of these teachings to the topics of interest to us. Since you do not yet have enough of an understanding to hold such a conversation, it is understandable that your thread would veer off the topic for this Forum. However, that doesn't change the fact that this conversation IS off-topic and you are unable to bring it back on-topic for this Forum. We have our Sounding Board Policy for a good reason. Because we're back to where we started our discussion with you and because your thread now runs counter to our Sounding Board policy, I'm going to close this thread.

    In addition to the reading you intend to do I strongly urge you to seek local, professional help. This Forum is not intended as a replacement for professional help for the serious issues you have been sharing with us.
    Last edited by WellBeing; 10-04-2017 at 07:55 PM. Reason: Typos

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