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Thread: Dealing with past & unfulfilled desires from the past.

  1. #81
    Forgive me if I'm going in a circle again.

    Marc, your post to me feels like I should accept that what I want is in fact over, and when I feel better about the subject and get some acceptance I can have some different experiences, except that would not fulfill me.

    Fulfilment for me would be that I become as physically attractive as I was as a young man and able to have those same experiences I missed out on as a young man, with people in the prime of their youth - the early 20s not older. It's not normal for 33 year olds to hang out & party with 20 year olds, let alone date and hook up with them.

    The social aspect is the biggest problem.

  2. #82
    Super Kitty Marc's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by sailorboat View Post
    Marc, your post to me feels like I should accept that what I want is in fact over, and when I feel better about the subject and get some acceptance I can have some different experiences, except that would not fulfill me.
    That's peculiar because I'm actually telling you the OPPOSITE. I'm suggesting that you should stop telling yourself that what you want is over, because it's not. If you would soothe your sense of having missed out, which you do have the ability to do gradually, you would discover that what you want really isn't over.
    Quote Originally Posted by sailorboat View Post
    Fulfilment for me would be that I become as physically attractive as I was as a young man and able to have those same experiences I missed out on as a young man, with people in the prime of their youth - the early 20s not older. It's not normal for 33 year olds to hang out & party with 20 year olds, let alone date and hook up with them.
    You're the one who decides what's "normal" or not, which is exactly what I'm talking about. You have the ability to soothe your insistence that what you want is inappropriate.

    The actual biggest problem is you keep arguing for why what you want is impossible instead of actually doing any emotional work.

  3. #83
    Thank you Marc

  4. #84
    This is not meant as an attack, but instead wanting to make you think about why you want what you want because that will help you manifest it quicker

    What makes you think that you're the only person on Earth to be in their 30s and single / virginal / never experiencing a relationship, or very limited experiences with relationships? I can assure you there are hundreds, if not thousands, or even millions of people in their 30s JUST LIKE YOU. both male and female!

    You are obsessed with wanting a "condition" (a younger mate). You're also obsessed with HOW you'll get that. Instead what you need to focus on is WHY you want that. Find the FEELING of it. Ask yourself what qualities this person / relationship / fling / one night stand etc would have. Flesh it out fully exactly in your mind, sculpt every detail, and then think about how that would make you FEEL. It's all about feelings, right? And what you fail to realize are there are people that could give you the EXACT same Feelings who don't fit that condition. Many women IE: 30, 31, 32, 33, etc look like they're 20-25 years old. Many of these same women are virgins like you, maybe some have never even had a boyfriend before. Maybe they ALSO missed out on their youth. What I'm saying is if you stop looking at the "condition" and think about how you will FEEL you can still manifest EXACTLY what you want. And if still after really soul searching and what you EXACTLY want is a 20 year old woman - guess what?.. there ARE women who LIKE older men. I once dated someone 8 years older than myself! Almost an entire decade! But you have to "let go" of the doubt. Instead live your life as if what you have asked for has already been given to you, because it has, you just have to catch up vibrationally to it.

    I'm not you so I can't give specific examples, but here's some general thoughts:

    You want to share emotional and physical intimacy for the first time together with someone.
    You want to feel young and alive and free
    You want a rush of exhilaration and excitement
    You want to feel attraction and attractive
    You want to feel accepted and appreciated
    You want a feeling of belonging
    You want to feel understood

    Think about those feelings, and how you will feel when they finally do manifest

    Instead of thinking about all the reasons why or how they won't or can't manifest.

  5. #85
    Thanks Aqua but this is what I don't want. I was a young man who had girls throwing themselves at him who was just incredibly unlucky, I know what I missed because I witnessed it. I'm not interested in my options now and women my age, besides women do have it a lot easier when they are young, I'd have no issues if I actually had a normal life up until now.

    I am more obsessed with being my younger self so I can actually enjoy the prime of my youth with somebody who is also in the prime of their youth and I am not there anymore and don't look as good as I used to.

    It's about fulfilling my unfulfilled desires as a young man and I'm not entirely sure I'm even comfortable dating so you young, I feel it would be wrong she should be dating and experiencing young guys in their youth, I had my time it's their time now + there is all the socialising & partying etc. that occurs only in that period of life it does not repeat again. I had my time it was horrible but I had it.

    You want to share emotional and physical intimacy for the first time together with someone. (well yes and no)
    You want to feel young and alive and free (and actually be not just feel)
    You want to feel attraction and attractive (with someone young and attractive)
    You want to feel accepted and appreciated (by young people now who I'd like to socialise with - except I'm already out of range)
    You want a feeling of belonging (ditto)
    You want to feel understood (that's not necessary)

    Some more:

    I want to know I'm young and attractive for the young and attractive opposite sex, (but the mirror doesn't lie).
    I want to know I have the time to play the field a little so I can eventually settle with the right girl without regrets. (But I'm already out of time)

  6. #86
    The mirror doesn't lie, but you have control over your own reflection. You could get plastic surgery (drastic and not for everyone, but if this issue is so deeply rooted in yourself, and your self esteem and self worth, then that's always an option), or simply start eating healthier, go to the gym every day, get a hair transplant (perhaps another drastic option), whatever it is that you think is "wrong" with your physical appearance.

    You have all the time in the world to date around, you could have a different girl every weekend - after just 1 year you would have had 52 different experiences. But every weekend that you continue your self limiting beliefs is another lost opportunity to start living and be happy.

    The prime of your youth is whenever you FEEL your best. Not a "magic" arbitrary number that once it's gone, it's gone. - There's many people, celebrities even, who comment that they feel younger / healthier / more attractive now than they did 10 or even 20 years ago. "Prime" is a state of mind, not a number.

    You have a lot of "work" as Abe calls it left to do, which is why you are not seeing "results" with Law of Attraction. The work is letting go of resistance, and moving up the emotional guidance scale.

    Perhaps just get off the subject of relationships entirely for awhile and focus on other areas of your life which do allow you to feel relief. It doesn't matter how you get in the vortex, just getting in is enough . Good luck to you.

  7. #87
    After what I've been through I doubt I could put myself through surgery or that it would make a huge difference. But thank you for trying to help.

    The prime of your youth is whenever you FEEL your best. Not a "magic" arbitrary number that once it's gone, it's gone. - There's many people, celebrities even, who comment that they feel younger / healthier / more attractive now than they did 10 or even 20 years ago. "Prime" is a state of mind, not a number.
    Aqua with this I'm sorry I beg to differ. William in his prime at 21 and now 30+ I know which I'd prefer to be and to fulfill my desires I'd have to be 21 or around that age again.

    [Removed images. Please review our Image Posting Policy. Thanks!--WB.]
    Last edited by WellBeing; 1 Week Ago at 07:23 PM.

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