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Thread: Allowing The Money In as an Aritst and Creative Person

  1. #31
    Quote Originally Posted by txs View Post
    I'm really enjoying this, thank you for starting this thread!
    Thank you so much, I'm glad that you enjoying it as much as I am!

  2. #32

    Day 157: Venting and soothing

    Doing EFT towards art has been helpful lately.

    I didn't realized how much resentment I actually had within myself over the years that I stopped drawing, and it's a shame because there is nothing I can do about the past. I did what I thought was best and that is all I can do, yet I feel the need to throw it in my face every day, every time I want to get creative.

    I feel that my biggest vice, when it comes to drawing is the fact that I'm not where I want to be. I want to be famous, have lots of fans and really be in the spotlight online in the art community, but because I haven't been active for years online with my art, I feel empty inside like what I do isn't important.

    I know that isn't true and shouldn't be the reason why I should create, but I would be lying if I said I didn't want that. It is something that I want, but the thing I'm more concerned about is my feelings towards myself as an artist.

    Because of where I am currently, I feel lack within myself, like something is wrong (with me). But I have to understand that there is nothing wrong with me, or where I'm at. I'm just where I am, it is my thoughts about where I am that is causing so much distress. And those thoughts don't feel good.

    Last night, I read on another LOA blog that you have to practice the vibe that you want to experience, and I already know this deeply and done it with a lot of subjects, including this one. If I want a certain outcome I have to be able to emit that vibration more often than not. And I'm not emitting that vibration where I am now, feeling bad about myself.

    Where I actually want to be, is where I'm very much caught up with the online art community again. Where I'm in the know how and I'm also creating art work and active in the community again. I feel good about myself, I'm creating work that I want to share. I have artist friends that I can share my work with. I feel excited every time I post something and I feel excited for all the opportunities that are coming my way. I feel good about myself, I feel caught up, I feel frisky, I feel like I'm riding the wave and I'm loving it. I feel in the flow of everything and everything is lining up for me in an amazing way.

    I guess the thing that I feel the most resistance to is not being good enough. That I can't create art work fast enough for me to be relevant. That I can't take my time with my art and be active at the same time.

    It always feels like that I have to be on top of everything, and as much I want to be on top of everything, I also love spending time doing what I love. I want to be able to take the time that I need on my work, as well as being on top of the art community and being present in it. It feels like if I'm not on top of it, there is no point of trying at all and that thinking is blocking me from where I really want to go.

    I might not able to post a new picture up everyday, or even every week, but I can still be very much present in the art community. I can still follow, comment, and be in the art community. There is no need for me to be doing everything all the time all at once, no one can do that. And I'm really asking the impossible from myself trying to that too.

    I feel a lot better now. I feel like I can get what I want (being active and up to date with the art community) as well as spend time with my art and take my time with it. It's not as hard as I'm making it out to be. I don't have to do as much as I think I need too. There is no right way to do this, and I need to throw away what I think I need to do to be successful in this because it's not accurate. Let me just be aligned to who I really am, what that person feels inspired to do and let the rest be.

    I just noticed that when I create my art with the art community/money in mind, there is a TON of resistance. But when I don't add the money or art component, there is not resistance, I feel like I can just be myself. So that is the path of least resistance. Let me create art for my own personal sake and leave the other components out of it and be done with it.

    I feel guided to stop here.

    Thank you so much, itís more than enough!

    Much Love,

    Kai <3

  3. #33

    Day 356: Point of no return

    Day 356

    Today while talking to a friend I realized how much I loved drawing and having my own art be the center of my life. For a while now I've been focusing on creating things that isn't necessarily my passion. I do enjoy drawing and creating still life in the art class that I'm in, but I'm finding myself putting more attention on THAT work than my own personal work.

    I see that as much as I love anime art and such I don't focus my energy and time creating it as much as I truly want to. There is a part of me that doesn't trust this path that I know is good for me. I strayed away from my own personal joy with art because of the fear that I couldn't be successful and that people wouldn't get it or understand. My joy is important when it comes to art and it's even more important in this place in life where I want to put my joy and bliss first. I'm not following my true bliss when it comes to my art.

    There are many projects, ideas and creations that I would love to do, but I don't do them. I know those projects would give me joy and would light up my life but I literally decide not to do them for one reason or another. I'm seeing that deciding to not follow my joy and bliss doesn't equal the life that I want. I'm not happier forgoing the path that truly gives me joy, but I find myself more stuck in frustration and stagnation. Always wanting my desire for the artistic life that I want but never reaching it, even though I've gotten so much success and positive outcomes doing other kinds of art.

    I have no where to go at this point.
    There is no second option, it's either follow my joy and bliss or don't. Go down the path towards my true desires or settle for less. I can't do, draw, practice, learn enough about art to somehow magically manifest the life I want with art. It has nothing to do with any of those things but my ability to allow in my desire, and really be in the place where I'm embodying the energy and doing things that bring about that energy; to go after my bliss.

    I feel guided to stop here.

    Thank you so much, itís more than enough!

    Much Love,

    Kai <3

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