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Thread: Depression due to lack of money flow

  1. #1

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    Depression due to lack of money flow

    Hi all,

    I came here for some soothing and guidance. I have been struggling to pay bills, buy things i need/want, i can just feel this big momentum about money that is affecting me deeply now.
    I know by telling you how it is, im telling the story of what i do not want, but i guess ive been doing that in general anyway!
    I have an enormous fortune in my vortex, i know it and ive felt it. So thinking in opposition hurts a lot. And my pattern with money flowing into my life is far from ideal, i find it so hard to deal with. I know feeling good brings the money, but i have never struggled so much to feel good whilst not having the money i want.
    My money situation (aka lack of alignment), makes me feel like i want to die, i cant take the resistance that im feeling, i just want to die, i am up and down but the downs are really low. I just want to feel better, and i guess im not allowing myself that because im focusing on the bills i cant pay. More resistance. I often feel like i just want to give up. Sometimes i feel so overwhelmed that i cant even catch my breath, like im crying out for help, i guess i feel powerless. Which is the bottom of the emotional scale. I manage to work my way up and feel relief, but i do not know how to keep that going when a bill arrives or something similar.
    I know there are people who have focused differently in a similar situation to mine, and attracted amazing abundance. I just seem to repeat the same pattern year after year. I always think about successful teachers who were once in a bad place and are now thriving and abundant, like eckhart tolle. He was homeless and im not homeless, but that only soothes me for a moment. And i say im going to be like them, find joy and alignment no matter what. And then i dont stick to it, i get depressed about money again and i feel disappointed and i watch how it affects the rest of my world. (Sloppy thinking). Why wont i just change my thoughts about money! Especially if its causing me so much pain.

    I cant stay off the subject for too long because its in my face and keeps coming up. And whenever i do processes to try change my beliefs about money, it usually just activates the lackful side. So im a bit confused and depressed. Its the one subject im stuck on, and i know that is the story im telling, but i cant seem to move it along. Ive been able to manifest wonderful things on all other subjects, and it makes me angry that i can do all that but i cant make money flow to me. It just feels unbearable.
    Help is appreciated xo
    Thank you

  2. #2
    Super Moderator Hands in the Clay's Avatar
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    My prescription:

    1) If your depression feels "life-threatening", get professional help ASAP.

    2) Make peace with where you are - even if that means coming up with a "worst-case scenario" for survival that will ease your stress for a bit ("I can always move in with my friend Stu, I can always sell my mountainbike, I could take a part-time job"..). Yes, it's imagining an action journey, but you can't feel prosperous when you're preoccupied and stressed-out about money, and you have to find an "ordinary human" way to take the pressure off if you have collectors knocking or clocks ticking. You need to find some relief, NOW, without money showing up yet, and you have to make some mental choices that might not be what you want yet, but will help you sleep at night for a while.

    3) Reread MLOA

    4) Read the APOE chapters related to money

    5) Start reading Money Tips from early summer 2011 through that same autumn to see that you aren't alone (and that other people managed to allow things just by doing all the Abe work in creative ways - it will give you a "virtual cheering section" and answer MANY of your more subtle questions....). Yes, the thread's a monster, but the "gold" of the thread is really that one period of four or five months. Go mine it. People from THIS FORUM made money happen, but it comes through EMOTIONAL work. And, seeing that you're in Australia, by "early summer" I mean June 2011.

    6) Start taking a written inventory (pen, paper, many pages) of your current possessions (everything from pens to CDs to underwear to camping gear to dishes to sweaters to bars of soap). This will help remind you that you're not living naked under a bridge yet, eating cat food. I'm quite serious about this suggestion (it does actually appear somewhere in one of the Abe books, can't think of which at the moment); it can bring major relief, and your ONLY job right now is to FEEL SLIGHTLY BETTER (not to make dollars fall from the sky). When you feel SLIGHTLY BETTER, you are LESS RESISTANT to what you have created and ideas and opportunities can eek their way in with less of a wall to pierce. Do you get that?

  3. #3
    Super Moderator Hands in the Clay's Avatar
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    Some other thoughts for you:

    Remember, Abraham have said quite plainly that money is one of the toughest things to shift: "Because your financial situation affects so much of your life experience, many things that are important to you are tied to your financial state." It's wrapped up in self-worth, inherited beliefs, social status, job, power plays in relationships, security and health (food, shelter, healthcare), transportation (gas in the tank), "generous gestures" in relationships (wanting to give gifts, reciprocate, or take someone out and not being able to afford it), on and on and on. So don't beat up on yourself because THIS ISSUE isn't "fixed" yet. You've learned that you can apply these Teachings, and you can and will do so again.

    My go-to unofficial Abe video: "Abraham - Power of Emotions and Money." Lord, I watched that thing every day, several times a day, in my first months of work. And listened to the MLOA CD every frickin' day. I was so tired of the cold sweats and zero bank balance. So I TOTALLY know where you're coming from, OK? No shame in being where you are. Lots of folks have been, lots of folks still are. Your advantage is that you have Abraham information and you've already managed to apply it elsewhere, OK?

    You can also find on YouTube the audio of the hotseater segment "She Hates to Pay Those Taxes" from the Master Course - it will give you some very good ideas for emotional work to do on some sore spots.

  4. #4
    Beloved Woman paradise-on-earth's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Foofighters View Post
    it makes me angry that i can do all that but i cant make money flow to me.
    Adding to HitCīs exquisite suggestions-
    anger is by far better than depression, on the EGS.

    So, dig the anger! ENJOY IT! Anger can be a very sufficient life-saver, when you really embrace it, and then allow yourself to move even above it.

    And another thing: Comparing yourself with others -as Tolle- doesnīt soothe you, to the contrary, it inflames your pain. But the name of the game is allowing yourself RELIEF.
    Soothe yourself. Be nicer to yourself. Enjoy the "little mixed-upness" that you talk about as relief from the "big overwhelment" that you talk about also.

    Find the sweetzones that you could enjoy in OOTV, whenever you move towards the Vortex, even a bit.
    Guide your thoughts, learn to focus on purpose, instead as knee-jerk-reaction.
    Stop squandering your life-energy with sloppy focus!

    The big present that is in being (even partially) depressed is realizing, that YOU HAVE TO CHANGE YOUR ATTITUDE, when you want to live a good life again.
    Itīs not really about the money. Itīs about being in charge about your focus and vibration- and that means, being in charge of being joyful.

  5. #5
    Super Moderator Hands in the Clay's Avatar
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    Aaaaaaaaaaaaand, here's another thread that says lots of the stuff I'd say to you anyway (or did above) that may also provide some inspiration, from someone who posted from a similar place to where you are now (but with more happyface stickers and drama in her lingo).
    http://www.abeforum.com/showthread.p...y-is-shrinking

    Yes, there will be some "work" to do. Yes, it takes a bit of "cleaning house" - but what you do now will set you up for a LIFETIME of improved money flow. OK? A lifetime of changed experience. Leaving this tense money chapter behind you. Ahhhhhhhhh. Won't that be nice? Won't it be nice for all this crap to be in the past? To not be one of the strugglers anymore?

    This stuff is not baloney or philosophy. But it does take some focus and self-awareness in the beginning that can feel intimidating, leading you into some dusty corners of your feelings that you've been avoiding, because this can be such a scary subject when so much rides on it. But it's WWWWWWWWWWWORTH IT. Really.

  6. #6
    Super Kitty Marc's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Foofighters View Post
    I have an enormous fortune in my vortex, i know it and ive felt it. So thinking in opposition hurts a lot. And my pattern with money flowing into my life is far from ideal, i find it so hard to deal with.
    It's good that you bring up "ideal," because right now comparing yourself to the "ideal" is what isn't working. You don't have the ability to go instantly from crappy to happy, and because so many people mistakenly think that this is the task, that's where they get hung up. I'll wager that this is a big part of why you find things "so hard to deal with." Fortunately, it's easier than you'll making it. I'll go into more detail about that.
    Quote Originally Posted by Foofighters View Post
    I know feeling good brings the money, but i have never struggled so much to feel good whilst not having the money i want.
    "I know feeling good brings the money," isn't really true. In other words, if money (and other wanted things) only showed up when we felt good, we'd all be dead. It's simply not the case that LOA just ignores what you're doing until you hit point where you're feeling good, but most people trick themselves into thinking that's the case. Rather, LOA is always responding to you and even if you're making a small improvement, it's going to show you that improvement. That's wonderful news because it means you don't have to go from crappy to happy, which you can't do all at once. Instead of trying to force yourself to make a jump you can't make and then feeling despondent that you can't make that jump, all you need to do is to just feel a little better. Feeling a little better is something that you can achieve from where you are.
    Quote Originally Posted by Foofighters View Post
    My money situation (aka lack of alignment), makes me feel like i want to die, i cant take the resistance that im feeling, i just want to die, i am up and down but the downs are really low. I just want to feel better, and i guess im not allowing myself that because im focusing on the bills i cant pay. More resistance.
    Here's a piece of the puzzle you're missing -- having bills you can't pay doesn't prevent you from feeling better. It doesn't take anything as dramatic as death to bring you relief, either. Here's what you have to keep in mind: Now while you may not have the ability to change the fact that you have bills you don't pay, there's a significant vibrational difference between thinking about the bills you can't pay and feeling powerless and thinking about the bills you can't pay and feeling angry. Same conditions, but if you're used to feeling powerless, feeling angry about your situation is going to feel better, which allows the energy to start flowing instead of having things pinched off in such a powerful way.
    Quote Originally Posted by Foofighters View Post
    I often feel like i just want to give up. Sometimes i feel so overwhelmed that i cant even catch my breath, like im crying out for help, i guess i feel powerless. Which is the bottom of the emotional scale.
    As I've been explaining, you feel overwhelmed because you're trying to force yourself to do much more than is necessary. That's the problem with being down at the bottom of the EGS and aiming for "joy and alignment no matter what." Joy and alignment no matter what are nice long term goals, but they're not anything you need to achieve right now. All you need to do is reach for the relief that you've already told us that you can reach, and rather than trying to "fix" things, which is never going to work.
    I manage to work my way up and feel relief, but i do not know how to keep that going when a bill arrives or something similar.[/quote]
    The thing about LOA is that the more you focus on something, the more it responds. It's simply a matter of practice. You really do know how to "keep that going" when a bill arrives or something similar, because you've done it with virtually everything you've ever learned. Here's what I mean -- when you were learning to write, you didn't jump from the basics of forming your A-B-Cs to writing an essay all at once. Rather, you practiced things gradually over time. You wrote each letter over and over again and as you practiced, it got easier and the letters started looking better. As you started to master that step, you started putting those letters together to form words. The point is, you were successful because you took the time to practice those things until they became easy for you, which is exactly what is called for here. As I've mentioned, it's not difficult to go from powerlessness to anger. If you would simply practice that improved feeling place of anger for a while on this topic until it stops feeling like relief, things would improve for you. The issue of "I don't how to keep that going" would not arise because even if you fell back down into powerlessness, it's easy to reach back to anger. Then, once you've practiced anger to the point that it's easy, then you'll be able to move forward to something that feels even better.

    Part of the mindset that people miss is that they think that if they can get all the way to the top of the EGS, they'll have fixed things. That's not the case. It's about the flow of energy and being able to MAINTAIN that improved flow of energy. What they misunderstand is that if you will feel a little better and maintain that small improvement, you're actually getting a significant improvement in the flow of energy. That improvement is much better, and will yield more results, than if you were to march up the top of the EGS in a short period of time, because you will not be able to maintain a big vibrational jump like that for long. In short, it's really a matter of

    Quote Originally Posted by Foofighters View Post
    I know there are people who have focused differently in a similar situation to mine, and attracted amazing abundance. I just seem to repeat the same pattern year after year. I always think about successful teachers who were once in a bad place and are now thriving and abundant, like eckhart tolle. He was homeless and im not homeless, but that only soothes me for a moment. And i say im going to be like them, find joy and alignment no matter what. And then i dont stick to it, i get depressed about money again and i feel disappointed and i watch how it affects the rest of my world. (Sloppy thinking). Why wont i just change my thoughts about money! Especially if its causing me so much pain.
    Here's another big chunk of how what you're doing that's making you depressed: Not only are you trying to force yourself to do the impossible, you're beating yourself up for not being able to do it. There's a very good reason that you don't stick to trying to jump to "joy and alignment no matter what" and why you don't "just change my thoughts about money! Especially if its causing me so much pain." That reason is called "The Law of Attraction," and it's the most powerful law in existence. You're asking yourself to make jumps you can't make, and because you've practiced this vibration and LOA is responding to those thoughts, it's not possible to snap your fingers and "just change my thoughts" that easily. So another one of the most important things you can learn to do is to STOP BEATING UP ON YOURSELF. Learn to SOOTHE yourself instead. Learn to REASSURE yourself.
    Quote Originally Posted by Foofighters View Post
    I cant stay off the subject for too long because its in my face and keeps coming up. And whenever i do processes to try change my beliefs about money, it usually just activates the lackful side. So im a bit confused and depressed. Its the one subject im stuck on, and i know that is the story im telling, but i cant seem to move it along. Ive been able to manifest wonderful things on all other subjects, and it makes me angry that i can do all that but i cant make money flow to me. It just feels unbearable.
    See? Your IB is already calling you to feeling better, the feeling of anger flows naturally from that place of powerlessness and depression. It's simply a matter of going with that and practicing it, which is really enough for now. What needs to happen isn't rocket science. It's no different than if you were really out of shape and trying to get into shape and lose a lot of weight. There's nothing that you can really do to get that done all at once. If you were so over-eager that you simply stopped eating, and then went to the gym and looked around for the heaviest weight you could find in the hopes that if you use all of their might and lift it that it will be enough to get you to your goal, you're doomed to failure. You simply cannot sustain big changes like that and that approach will just leave you exhausted and discouraged. If, however, you were to make smaller, easily obtainable changes such as eating a little less and walking a little more, for example, over time you'd make progress. That's all that needs to happen here. Give up trying to "fix" things, realize that all you need to do is just feel a little better and to practice that small change as often as you can.

  7. #7
    Super Moderator Hands in the Clay's Avatar
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    Reiterating strongly what Marc says here about the "joy and alignment no matter what" thing. Contrast is a constant. Even when you have prosperity, you're going to have contrast, because you came here for that. Your vibration isn't going to be all shiny and sparkly 24/7. Things will happen that you don't like - your favorite stock will drop before you can sell it and you'll take a 10% hit on your portfolio for the year, you'll have to wait 18 months for the customized version of that vehicle you want, there won't be any front-row tickets left to that concert you'd planned on attending, you'll sprain an ankle at Chamonix, your property taxes will be hiked more than you expected. Those might sound laughable, like first-world problems....but people will die, too, wars will happen, you'll hear about some abused or kidnapped child, you'll be having a bad night and hit an animal on the highway, that forested area you usually camp in will burn because of a careless hunter's cigarette. Sh*t happens, with or without money.

    So it's not a cure-all; life will feel freer and easier in certain ways, but, from an Abeish perspective, perpetual joy and alignment isn't really your goal, is it?

  8. #8
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    Remind yourself often, that the only lack that you really need to fill, is your lack of alignment.

    Remind yourself often, that you DO have the power to control your attitude about your situation. And THAT IS where ALL of your POWER IS.
    In THIS MOMENT of NOW.

    That IS what MR Tolle learned, and WHY he became so popular....because he ACHIEVED what everyone else REALLY WANTS.

    Inner Peace.....aka....alignment with SELF.


    YES...it may seem harder when you are up against the wall, so to speak....but you must seperate the physical journey with the emotional journey, and since you are already on this journey, KNOW that at some time in the future, you will BLESS this situation for making you FOCUS more keenly on the one thing that makes any difference in your life anyway.....alignment with source, inner happiness.


    Why wait until you are prosperous to become happy?
    WHEN happiness IS ALREADY within you?

    Underneath your resistance, is what you are really looking for....its your Source perspective, that is where your true abundance and happiness is.
    And you have the tools, you EGS to make the emotional journey matter most to you. And when you do.......

  9. #9

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    I really want to thank you for your replies. I teared up with every one of them, because I understand what you've said, you've brought me some clarity and it really means a lot. I appreciate it so much <3
    Hands in the Clay; You soothed me with your words, I am definitely going to re-read what you've mentioned, as well as Money Tips and I am going to do the writing exercise about all the things I do have. I read through the other thread you posted, and it is really inspiring and brings some relief whilst reading it. I'll get back to you when i do these things and also listen to that you tube you suggested, and let you know how it goes. And you saying that money is one of the hardest things to shift brings some relief too, because then I remember it's not just me.

    POE; Thank you, my new goal is to reach for anger whenever I'm feeling powerless, and I will admit I am feeling the relief in it and I guess that is enough for now. And I know it's not really about the money, though it really does feel that way most of the time, that is what I have to sort out eventually.

    Marc; Reading your reply made me realize how depressed I really am about this topic, and somehow I didn't fully acknowledge that or didn't want to. I was putting a happy face sticker on it and had no idea I was doing that! But now I do, and as I said above, I'm really reaching for anger and trying to maintain that for a while. The way you said it,
    "What they misunderstand is that if you will feel a little better and maintain that small improvement, you're actually getting a significant improvement in the flow of energy"... How you explained just maintaining anger for a while instead of trying to jump up in to joy and maintain that...That brought instant clarity, I understood what you meant straight away and I've never heard that said more clearly! I didn't even realize I was trying to do the impossible. Thank you so much for that.
    And "Having bills you can't pay doesn't prevent you from feeling better". I know this is true, and hearing it gives some relief, I just really want to KNOW that eventually. And now I will have to practice, as you said.

    I can see how even when I had money coming in, I still wasn't joyful most of the time. I was still looking at what i Didn't have. But I only noticed that now. So that does show me that it really isn't the money, it is my attitude and thoughts.
    Like Songbird said, the alignment is what I really want, and for now I am going to reach for anger and try maintain that and see if I can move any higher on the emotional scale.
    I'm still going back and forth from anger/frustration to depression/powerlessness, but I am making that little bit more effort to reach for relief now. When I'm in depression, I feel the desire to sleep or be in a coma so I can rest from my thoughts, because they are what is really hurting me, just my focus.
    More than anything, I am just angry that something like money would make me feel like I want to croak. I don't want money to have that power over me, or anyone.

  10. #10
    Quote Originally Posted by Foofighters View Post

    I'm still going back and forth from anger/frustration to depression/powerlessness, but I am making that little bit more effort to reach for relief now. When I'm in depression, I feel the desire to sleep or be in a coma so I can rest from my thoughts, because they are what is really hurting me, just my focus.
    Alignment is always DOWNSTREAM. If it feels like effort, you're reaching too far. In fact, if you check out the egs scale, Anger is quite a few steps away from Powerlessness. Also, taking naps is a GREAT IDEA! I hear a hint of judgment in you, for your desire to sleep, but it's very endorsed by Abraham! your instincts are in the right place!

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