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Thread: Fear and attracting love or reigniting love again

  1. #1

    Fear and attracting love or reigniting love again

    Hello and I appreciate being part of this group.
    im fascinated with LOA and just staying in vortex and positive momentum. It's sometimes difficult, sometimes recently. My partner and I together for 7 years, two children, (stepchildren) and there have been ups and downs, and know we both appreciate one another and thereis love. My partner took time away, and I reacted out of fear, and pushed myself away and my partner away,
    i appreciate so much about my partner, life. and the kids, and the love..I can imagine and feel th goodness to come. I know we are to believe our desires are going to happen, but I get fearful again. How can I help this..my desire is our lives together.
    can anyone r late of offer insight?
    thank you so much for reading

  2. #2
    Super Moderator WellBeing's Avatar
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    Welcome to the Forum, Phoenix44!

    Quote Originally Posted by Phoenix44 View Post
    Hello and I appreciate being part of this group.
    im fascinated with LOA and just staying in vortex and positive momentum. It's sometimes difficult, sometimes recently.
    This is a good place for us to start.

    Do you know how to get ITV* deliberately and consciously? If so, what are some of your favorite methods for getting ITV (on this or any other topics)?

    And if you don't know that, what does “the Vortex” and “vibrational momentum” mean to you?

    Quote Originally Posted by Phoenix44 View Post
    My partner and I together for 7 years, two children, (stepchildren) and there have been ups and downs, and know we both appreciate one another and thereis love. My partner took time away, and I reacted out of fear, and pushed myself away and my partner away,
    i appreciate so much about my partner, life. and the kids, and the love..I can imagine and feel th goodness to come.
    One of the reasons that I asked you my questions is because from this summarized background, it sort of sounds like you've been allowing what you're observing to set your vibrational tone. What I mean by that is you look around your environment and when to see things that please you, you feel “good.” When you see things that displease you, you feel “bad.” And almost everyone does some of that. (Abraham call this “creating by default.”)

    When we do this vibrating-in-response-to-what-we’re-observing, we mistakenly think that it's the things were observing which “make us feel” this way or that way.

    What Abraham teach us is that it's not the thing (or the person or the experience or…) which “make us feel” whatever emotion we’re feeling. It's the thoughts that we think which “make us feel” the emotions we feel. Or, as Abraham say, it's the agreement kor lack thereof) between the thoughts that we (in our physical bodies) are thinking and the thoughts that our IB is thinking about that same subject in that same moment.

    Abraham then teach us to work with our thoughts and our emotional guidance system to bring our thoughts/focus/vibration (all the same thing) into alignment with the thoughts/focus/vibration that our IB is having on that same subject in that same moment. We can tell when we're moving into that alignment because we feel better. Conversely, we can tell when we are moving out of that alignment because we feel worse.

    And, of course, we think too many thoughts in a day to pay attention to every thought that we think. Paying attention to all our thoughts isn't possible. So, Abraham don't ask us to pay attention to every thought that we think. Instead, they teach us to pay attention to how we feel and then look to the thoughts that we're thinking in that moment. From there, they teach us to how to reach for BFTs.

    Quote Originally Posted by Phoenix44 View Post
    I know we are to believe our desires are going to happen, but I get fearful again.
    In the beginning of your post you talked about “positive momentum” and positive momentum is a good thing. But what you're telling us here is that you have some unwanted momentum going on as well. (That's common.) You know it's unwanted momentum because you feel Fear. Fear is your emotional indicator that, in your moments of feeling Fear, you're thinking thoughts with which your IB will not agree.

    Now, you're not going to be able to jump instantly from your unwanted or fearful momentum. The LoA makes it hard for us to do something which is very different than what we’ve been practicing. So, you can't make that big jump. But you can take a step in your wanted direction. That step in your wanted direction will feel better or feel like relief.

    An important thing to know is that sometimes (depending on where you are on the Scale--You do one about the Scale, yes? If not, grab a copy of AAIIG and give it a careful and thorough [re-?]read.) our step in our wanted direction won't look anything like “positive.” If we start out feeling crappy, our step in our wanted direction might look like “a little less crappy.” If we're starting from Fear, then our step in our wanted direction might look like thoughts of Jealousy or Anger. Yes, those are so-called “negative" emotions but they can be the next step on our path towards alignment.

    Quote Originally Posted by Phoenix44 View Post
    How can I help this..
    So, the first step would be to soothe your fearful thoughts.Find thoughts which still seem true to you yet which feel better than your fearful thoughts.


    *You can find a translation of the acronyms and abbreviations that we commonly use here on the Forum in our Glossary.
    Last edited by WellBeing; 02-09-2017 at 11:08 PM. Reason: Fixed broken link.

  3. #3
    Thank you so much for taking the time to go in such detail with me, it's so very appreciated.
    for staying or gttting myself to and in the vortex, I sometimes find it difficult, t know what I can do more of, more self love stuff to connect with myself and more spiritually. That's mo r time in nature, exercising, being with friends, and I shift thoughts to match a good feeling, when I start to go back into something that rEminds me of a lack or big loss.
    I will practice more and read more about g tying and staying in vortex, because I'd love to !
    i look forward to practicing the art of just being, and allowing, because it would be comforting and healthier.

    Ill reread the scaling part of AAIIG, I did the audio book, t will listen again.
    Sometimes if I become angry , as it's a soothing emotion, it doesn't stick with me because that emotion doesn't align with my IB, and then I cycle back to appreciation again and envision a reconciliation.

  4. #4
    Super Moderator WellBeing's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Phoenix44 View Post
    for staying or gttting myself to and in the vortex, I sometimes find it difficult, t know what I can do more of, more self love stuff to connect with myself and more spiritually.
    If you're down at Anger or Regret, then the Vortex is quite a ways' away from where you are. That's why Abraham teach us about the "vibrational journey" and the road trip from Phoenix to San Diego.

    And I'll talk about this more in a minute.

    Quote Originally Posted by Phoenix44 View Post
    That's mo r time in nature, exercising, being with friends, and I shift thoughts to match a good feeling, when I start to go back into something that rEminds me of a lack or big loss.
    Notice that a lot of these techniques that you use don't really actively work with what you're doing with your focus/thoughts/vibration (all the same thing). Most of what you're telling us about here falls under the heading of Distraction, which is very useful. But when we rely on Distraction, we don't develop our more proactive skills and we don't as readily learn that we have the power to focus ourselves into alignment. The tools in your book can help you remember your own power. Of course, like all learning curves, it will take some learning and some practice and some trial-and-error to learn those skills. But they are skills worth learning, IMHO.

    Quote Originally Posted by Phoenix44 View Post
    Ill reread the scaling part of AAIIG, I did the audio book, t will listen again.
    Sometimes if I become angry , as it's a soothing emotion, it doesn't stick with me because that emotion doesn't align with my IB, and then I cycle back to appreciation again and envision a reconciliation.
    This is a common occurrence among people learning these teachings. So many of us have been taught that there's something inappropriate about the emotions at the lower end of the Scale (like Anger). Plus Anger objectively feels much worse than the emotions at the upper end of the Scale and we innately know that we're supposed to feel good. we want to get as far away from the lower end of the Scale as fast as we can. So, we distort these teachings to conform to the unhelpful stories about the value of negative emotions. We want to jump instantly from Anger to Appreciation.

    However, the LoA won't allow us to make such at jump. Those kinds of jumps are what Abraham call "quantum leaps" in the book that you have. If you re-listen to those sections, you'll hear Abraham tell you how quantum leaps are difficult to pull off and are rarely sustainable (as you're finding out for yourself here), because you're trying to buck the powerful LoA. You know what happens when you try to buck the Laws of Gravity. The LoA is more powerful than the Laws of Gravity so you can understand why you're having the experiences you're telling us about.

    It's true that your IB is never angry. In fact, if your IB were ever angry, you (in your physical body) wouldn't be able to feel anger because there would be no separation of perspectives between you and your IB. But your IB understands the value of your guidance system. Your IB never judges you for having a guidance system, even if that guidance system indicates Anger, because your IB is focusing on the value of your Anger. However, you're telling us in this post that you do not. So, when you don't see the value of your Anger when your IB does, you are holding yourself apart from the perspective of your IB for another, different reason.

    And even that's all right, as far as your IB is concerned, because your IB sees value in your freedom to focus. Your IB knows that, in your Step 1 moment, you are adding to your Vortex, contributing to your own expansion and the expansion of All-That-Is, just in the way that we all intended to when we decided to come forth into this physical time-space reality.

    So, the big question you might want to play around with some is "How can I let myself off the hook some, so that I can more freely learn about these teachings and its skills? I've heard/read Abraham say, 'You are where you are and where you are is all right.' How can I allow myself to more truly feel that where I am right now is all right for right now?"

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