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Thread: How to become more aware of your thoughts?

  1. #41
    Super Kitty Marc's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by EaseAndFlow View Post
    I feel like I don't know how to focus on something apart from what I'm observing.
    Sure you do. Tell us about the last song you listened to (or ANY song you've listened to recently). What was the band? What was is the title of the song? Album? Genre? What instruments (if any) are played? Does it have lyrics or is it purely instrumental? What do you like about the song?

    These are not difficult questions.There's no "trick" to it. You're not required to ponder the philosophical, existential and ontological qualities of what the word "music" means. There is no particular analysis that needs to happen, other than perhaps explaining why you like the song. It's no different from thinking about kittens. Kittens are playful. Kittens are furry. Kittens are clumsy sometimes. Kittens are soft. None of this is difficult. There's nothing to get "right." It's simply a matter of DOING IT INSTEAD OF TRYING TO USE IT TO "FIX" THE WAY YOU FEEL. We've given you a myriad of different suggestions. Tell a story. Think about kittens. Think about bubbles. Talk about the last song you've heard. None of these are hard. I've also invited you to do that work right here on the Forum, but you never do. It's just that you're trying to make this into something it isn't, which is something that is going to "fix" the way you feel, despite the fact that it's not broken.

    So do it here. Tell us about a song you've listened to, or your favorite song. Talk about it. Describe it. Not, "Oh, thanks, I'm going to go try it now," not, "I'm going to Google it and read about it," not, "I'm going to listen to it so I can talk about it." Tell us about it. Here. Now. If you have to respond to the specific questions I asked about it, fine. If you want to talk about your thoughts and feelings about the song, group, or whatever, fine. Just talk about the song and write about it for a while. YOU KNOW HOW TO DO THAT, YOU DO IT ALL THE TIME. It's simply a matter of DOING it.

  2. #42
    Eostre's Avatar
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    Hi Ease!
    I'm pretty new at all this, but one thing that always seems to work for me if I get in a negative place with something is just to tell myself: "I am where I am and it's OK" and "everything is working out for my highest good and everyone else's highest good", and those thoughts help me mentally "chill." I might repeat them to myself over and over until I feel better. AAIG has all those processes in the back ( i just got the book yesterday and have read through it once so far), and Abe says to only do the ones that appeal to you. If it feels like a chore or work, don't do it.

    I don't know if that helps much,but to me it sounds like you are just getting all tied up with "trying" too hard, which never feels good.

    That's all I got. Maybe it will help?

  3. #43
    EaseAndFlow
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    Quote Originally Posted by Eostre View Post
    That's all I got. Maybe it will help?
    Thanks for your post, Eostre.

  4. #44
    Super Kitty Marc's Avatar
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    So where is it, E&F? Where's your post talking about ANY of the variety of subjects you could talk about? What's it going to be? Music? Kittens? Bubbles? Food? Flowers? Tech? Politics? Physics? You wanted guidance, so here it is. Pick something (other than the one you've been telling us). Write about it. Here. Now.

  5. #45
    EaseAndFlow
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    Quote Originally Posted by Marc View Post
    So where is it, E&F? Where's your post talking about ANY of the variety of subjects you could talk about? What's it going to be? Music? Kittens? Bubbles? Food? Flowers? Tech? Politics? Physics? You wanted guidance, so here it is. Pick something (other than the one you've been telling us). Write about it. Here. Now.
    I'm not avoiding your post, Marc. And I appreciate your invitation to do that here.

    However, I am having some difficulties with it because I'm not focusing "normally". It's like I instantly try to use words in order to focus on the topic I decided to be my topic, and I can feel it so clearly that it's not "right". It's not the same way I naturally/normally use my focus, like when I observe what is or listen to some music or read a book or watch a movie.

    But it's easy for me to remember happy memories from when I was younger and I did some of that yesterday but that usually makes me cry because I get reminded of how easy it was for me to focus back then, how happy I was and how different my life is now and so on. If I could focus in that same way on any topic I choose, then I would be focusing on that topic, but it feels like a "block" there for me. It's like I've forgotten how to do it and I try too hard.

    This issue I have with focusing right now, is really the thing that holds me back. I know that more clearly now because of recent experiences, and remembering back to how I was focusing back then before I found these teachings and before I screwed things up. And it's apparent in other areas of my life as well. But thanks anyway.

  6. #46
    Super Kitty Marc's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by EaseAndFlow View Post
    I'm not avoiding your post, Marc. And I appreciate your invitation to do that here.

    You absolutely ARE avoiding my post. The point of what I'm describing is to get you to demonstrate that you absolutely have the ability to turn your focus onto another topic. If you wanted to, you could start talking about any topic under the sun. The issue is that you're not willing to do it.
    Quote Originally Posted by EaseAndFlow View Post
    However, I am having some difficulties with it because I'm not focusing "normally".
    No you're not. You're simply NOT WILLING TO DO IT. Rather, you want things to change despite the fact that you're still doing the same thing you're doing that you're always doing.
    Quote Originally Posted by EaseAndFlow View Post
    It's like I instantly try to use words in order to focus on the topic I decided to be my topic, and I can feel it so clearly that it's not "right". It's not the same way I naturally/normally use my focus, like when I observe what is or listen to some music or read a book or watch a movie.
    We've talked about this many, many times. If you're noticing that "I can feel so clearly that it's not 'right,' then you're obviously not focused on puppies, kittens, bubbles, music, or whatever. The point is to leave the topic of how you're feeling alone for a while and turn your attention to another subject. Again, what you're describing is that you'd rather focus on the fact that you don't feel the way that you think you should feel even though it doesn't feel good to do so. You've got to be willing to focus on your different subject anyway. Again, what I'm asking you to do is simple, it's just that you want it to instantly change the way you feel. It can't because there's momentum to what you're used to doing. You've got to be willing to continue focusing anyway for a bit. You have the ability to do that, but you won't permit yourself even to get any other momentum going.
    Quote Originally Posted by EaseAndFlow View Post
    But it's easy for me to remember happy memories from when I was younger and I did some of that yesterday but that usually makes me cry because I get reminded of how easy it was for me to focus back then, how happy I was and how different my life is now and so on.
    We get it. The topic of how broken you perceive yourself to be and how far away you think you are from where you believe you should be is your favorite subject. It's your most practiced subject. You'd like to be able to stop what you're doing before you do anything else. But you DO HAVE THE ABILITY TO TURN YOUR ATTENTION ELSEWHERE.
    Quote Originally Posted by EaseAndFlow View Post
    If I could focus in that same way on any topic I choose, then I would be focusing on that topic, but it feels like a "block" there for me. It's like I've forgotten how to do it and I try too hard.
    But you can't. It's not going to be as "easy" (I use the term "easy" in quotes because there's not any emotion of EASE in what you're describing) to do something you've not practiced as it is to do something you've been doing relentlessly for a long time. Nevertheless, YOU CAN DO THESE UNFAMILIAR THINGS and as you practice them, they get easier, because LOA starts to respond to your focus over time. The issue is that if you're expecting unpracticed things to feel the way practiced things do, you're never going to get there.
    Quote Originally Posted by EaseAndFlow View Post
    This issue I have with focusing right now, is really the thing that holds me back. I know that more clearly now because of recent experiences, and remembering back to how I was focusing back then before I found these teachings and before I screwed things up. And it's apparent in other areas of my life as well. But thanks anyway.
    YOU DON'T HAVE A PROBLEM WITH FOCUSING. You have a problem with WILLINGNESS. You want things to be different than they are before you're willing to do things differently, and they simply don't work that way. As long as that's the case, we really don't have much more to talk about.

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