Page 14 of 19 FirstFirst ... 4910111213141516171819 LastLast
Results 131 to 140 of 188

Thread: The work, make progress in my emotions using Emotional Guidance System - step by step

  1. #131
    Quote Originally Posted by WellBeing View Post
    I do know what you mean and, although you’re saying that you don’t “push” it, what you’re describing is, in fact, a “push.” You are “pushing” to get it done (and you will not get it done) and have your stance on the next rung. You’re making your “next rung” or your advancement more important than the relief that you’ve been able to accomplish and your “push” feels work than the relief that you’ve been able to accomplish.

    Was that your question?
    When I get one point higher on the EGS, THEN it feels better. So isn't it the same only in different ways expressed? I mean: I feel relief = the same as getting one up on the EGS. Can't feel better when I don't advance there.

    And that I work on this topic (or want to work on this topic) often is because I know how I feel when I find myself in those situations and that don't feel good, so I do my best to sooth an go more into alignment on that topic. I mean, the most important part as I think now is to feel better as often as possible and the "tangible" reality is "just" the scream on the icescream cub. Sure I sometimes drift away and want to fix that and want the manifestation, but then I remember that it's about the feeling of it.

  2. #132
    Super Moderator WellBeing's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    Posts
    14,979
    Quote Originally Posted by Klassik View Post
    When I get one point higher on the EGS, THEN it feels better. So isn't it the same only in different ways expressed?

    This is an oversimplification which helps us learn the material. But we're complex beings in a complex world living complex lives. This oversimplification breaks down in actual practice. Let me explain....

    Your statement might be true (I’m going to come back to that “might” in a second.) IF you were sticking with a single subject. But you're jumping between two different subjects here. You're thinking about you and your women. That's one subject, the one you're working on. Then you jump to thinking about your vibrational “work” and the progress you are (or aren’t) making. That’s another, completely different subject, you see?

    So, you may have had your vibrational shift and you may have felt the relief of that shift. And then you looked at where you were on the Scale or how you only moved up 1 place or how much this topic is still a problem for you or how you’re not at the top of the Scale yet. All of these are thoughts about your “work” and, more to the point, they’re thoughts focusing on your “work” from the Unwanted/Lack-or-Absence end of the stick labeled “my vibrational work.” That’s not going to feel “good.” I can’t tell you if this subject of your “work” feels “better” or “worse” to you than where you last left the subject of you-and-your-women. But this other subject has the potential to feel “worse.” When it does feel “worse,” that’s your indicator that you’re adding more resistance to your trail.

    It’s common to think that our vibration matters only when we’re doing our Abraham Process. But our vibration matters, every waking moment of every day. So, when you stop your Process, you still want to be using your emotional guidance system to guide your thoughts. You want to find topics which feel better, even better than the relief that you were able to accomplish on the subject of you-and-your-women during your Process. From your words, it didn’t sound like the subject of your-progress-in-your-”work” was a better-feeling subject.

    Is this an irreparable crime? No, of course, not. Are you adding more resistance on your trail? Sure.

    Quote Originally Posted by Klassik View Post
    I mean: I feel relief = the same as getting one up on the EGS. Can't feel better when I don't advance there.

    This is where I come back to that “might” I had used above. I said “might be” because it's not necessarily true that you have to move up 1 space on the Scale in order to feel better. All you have to do is shift your vibration in order to feel better. The Scale is not an absolute or empirical tool. It's an outline, a guideline. That's all.

    Since the publication of the Scale, Abraham have told us that Esther has identified some 200 points on the Scale. If you overlay Esther’s new 200 points over the published 22 points, you can imagine that quite a number of the new points fall in between the published points. This means that the published Scale really aren’t points with clear, set demarcations (as the different labels might suggest) but sort of ranges along a spectrum. You may have noticed that for yourself, as you were doing your “work,” where you were still within the same emotion, but one statement producing that emotion felt better than another statement producing that same emotion. IOW, you can feel better without necessarily shifting into another emotion. So, in real life, in practical terms, I don’t agree with this next statement “Can’t feel better when I don’t advance there.” That’s not true.

    If you shift from being very Frustrated to less Frustrated, that’s going to feel better. You don’t need Abraham, the Scale or me to tell you that. Just the semantics of the sentence tells you that. What’s the difference between “very Frustrated” and “less Frustrated”? Why do we label one experience "very Frustrated" and the other experience "less Frustrated"? Because we can feel the difference between the two experiences. One feels better ["less Frustrated"] and the other ["very Frustrated"] feels worse.

    But they’re both Frustrated. If we adopt your interpretation of the Scale, we would lose the distinction between these two experiences. We might dismiss any relief we might accomplish in shifting from “very Frustrated” to “less Frustrated” simply because we hadn’t yet shifted into Pessimism. Perhaps this is why you were so quick to diminish the relief you had accomplished a day or so ago, because you might have been slavishly adhering to this rule of yours?

    Quote Originally Posted by Klassik View Post
    And that I work on this topic (or want to work on this topic) often is because I know how I feel when I find myself in those situations and that don't feel good, so I do my best to sooth an go more into alignment on that topic. I mean, the most important part as I think now is to feel better as often as possible...

    And when you’re pressuring yourself to be further than where you had been able to accomplish or when you’re decrying the fact that you’re only at X on the Scale or that this is still a problem in your life, you’re not feeling better.

    Quote Originally Posted by Klassik View Post
    and the "tangible" reality is "just" the scream on the icescream cub.

    (You lost me. I don’t know what you’re talking about here.)

    Quote Originally Posted by Klassik View Post
    Sure I sometimes drift away and want to fix that and want the manifestation, but then I remember that it's about the feeling of it.
    Well, this last exchange that we’ve been having (posts #129 to this reply) have been about you trying to fix your issue (even if your issue is "feeling crappy about this topic") and have your manifestation rather than about your feeling better. Another piece of this is that you’re probably (I can only guess) substituting the words of the Scale for your own emotional guidance, which is not a helpful thing as far as this “work” is concerned. That would be what Abraham would call making this “work” too heady, when it’s an emotional process.

  3. #133
    Quote Originally Posted by WellBeing View Post
    (You lost me. I don’t know what you’re talking about here.)
    I mean that the manifestation (cream, or cherry, if you want) isn't necessary to feel good, you can feel good without it, "only" having your cup of ice (feeling). Like, if you are feeling joyful, things will come that are joyful but then you don't need them anymore, because you are joyful. The things are nice, but you don't need them.

    Quote Originally Posted by WellBeing View Post
    Well, this last exchange that we’ve been having (posts #129 to this reply) have been about you trying to fix your issue (even if your issue is "feeling crappy about this topic") and have your manifestation rather than about your feeling better. Another piece of this is that you’re probably (I can only guess) substituting the words of the Scale for your own emotional guidance, which is not a helpful thing as far as this “work” is concerned. That would be what Abraham would call making this “work” too heady, when it’s an emotional process.
    I shared the result of my thinking, it wasn't to have this manifestation in the first place. I know that it is not about the manifestation, I've experienced that. Sometimes, it feels like (especially this topic) as if I am standing dry in the desert and there comes a water oasis. Than I want in that moment "drink that water". And that is was I work on at home, because the momentum is too strong in that moment.

    When I approach this topic or every other topic (from my level of knowledge) I do intent to get to the feeling of that things, so that I don't need them anymore. "Being satisfied with the emotional sensation."

  4. #134
    Super Moderator WellBeing's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    Posts
    14,979
    I don't know what you are doing or what you are intending. I can only listen to the questions you ask here and answer them as best I can. That being said....

    Quote Originally Posted by Klassik View Post
    I mean that the manifestation (cream, or cherry, if you want) isn't necessary to feel good, you can feel good without it, "only" having your cup of ice (feeling). Like, if you are feeling joyful, things will come that are joyful but then you don't need them anymore, because you are joyful. The things are nice, but you don't need them.


    I shared the result of my thinking, it wasn't to have this manifestation in the first place. I know that it is not about the manifestation, I've experienced that. Sometimes, it feels like (especially this topic) as if I am standing dry in the desert and there comes a water oasis. Than I want in that moment "drink that water". And that is was I work on at home, because the momentum is too strong in that moment.

    When I approach this topic or every other topic (from my level of knowledge) I do intent to get to the feeling of that things, so that I don't need them anymore. "Being satisfied with the emotional sensation."
    I'm sure you start out with that intention. But somewhere along the line, your intention slips to be something else. There's a big difference between saying that you are "Being satisfied with the emotional sensation" and actually BEING satisfied with the emotional sensation. If you were actually BEING satisfied with the emotional sensation, you wouldn't be talking about moving up from the place you had just moved up to. You would be BEING satisfied with the emotional sensation, with the relief that you've just accomplished, rather than wanting to scurry up to the next place on the Scale. And it's not just this one example. I could say the same thing for your wanting to "drink that water" or for your diminishment of the relief that you've accomplished or for your comments about wanting to fix your extreme discomfort. Those are all indicators for you that your intention has slipped. In those moments, other things are more important to you than "Being satisfied with the emotional sensation." I would think that you would want to know that.

    And don't get me wrong. It's really none of my business what your intention(s) may or mayn't be. You get to have whatever intention you want to have, whether you give words to your intention accurately or not. My only purpose in chiming here is in response to your question and to point out a tendency you have of allowing your intention to slip in a way that's not helpful to the vibrational shifts you intend to make for yourself.

  5. #135
    That is because it's HARD-WIRED. I can't seperate new thoughts, new feelings and new "things", because that is how it is (and I don't want to strike up a lateley famous german song here..).

    If you were actually BEING satisfied with the emotional sensation, you wouldn't be talking about moving up from the place you had just moved up to. You would be BEING satisfied with the emotional sensation, with the relief that you've just accomplished, rather than wanting to scurry up to the next place on the Scale.
    And, isn't it the way it is that we (everyone) wants to go higher and higher, wants to feel better and better, isn't that the mantra of Abraham? Like, I feel better with some BFTs, but I am still thirsty and want to feel better and better. Isn't that natural?

    I mean: I can share my business story here: I intended a business, because of the benefits I would reap out of it: feeling of freedom, doing what I like, free timing, nice clients, nice this, nice that. I knew that I would have some thoughts on my way that wouldn't feel good, like "how to earn money with it" or "how to get clients" or "What should I even precisely do?" and "Am I good enough?" but I was totally optimistic that this would work out someway. Not the Abraham optimistic, found on the EGS.

    And now: I work everyday ("the work") on that, and after working on that, I feel better with not having an idea or not having clients or not earning money with it. I am just more fine with it. I am satisfied with the emotion of relief. I am sitting doing nothing after that, but I am fine with that. The next day, or 2 hours later, I am again unsatisfied, and need to work on that, again. And again. Did it change anything? No. For me, it's more like this. Maybe I am obsessed by some false premise.

    Thank you very much for your help.

  6. #136
    Super Moderator WellBeing's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    Posts
    14,979
    Quote Originally Posted by Klassik View Post
    That is because it's HARD-WIRED.

    I’m aware that we are all hard-wired to want to feel better. But that idea is a “stick,” just like every other subject. We have the ability to focus on that “stick” from the Wanted/Having-of-It end or from the Unwanted/Lack-or-Absence end. We can tell which we are doing because we will feel differently as we do one or the other. You can use that idea to soothe your Doubts or your Impatience (both on the Scale) about your “work.” This would be a focus on the Wanted/Having-of-It end. It will feel different than using that idea to find dissatisfaction with the progress that you were able to accomplish, to diminish the relief you were able to create for yourself or to goad yourself into “drinking the water.” This would be a focus on the Unwanted/Lack-or-Absence end of the same stick.

    Your questions in this exchange really aren’t coming from a place of Satisfaction. That’s all right. I’m pointing this out to you as your indicator of how you are focusing on this “stick” called “my vibrational progress.”

    Quote Originally Posted by Klassik View Post
    I can't seperate new thoughts, new feelings and new "things", because that is how it is (and I don't want to strike up a lateley famous german song here..).

    You might not have practiced yourself so that you are consistently skilled at doing so but you DO have the ability to separate new thoughts, new feelings and new “things.” If you didn’t, you would not be able to do any of this “work” and this whole thread is testimony to your ability to do some of the separation you're claiming you "can't." So, you can see I do not agree with your statement about “that is how it is.” That is how it is for you because this is a story you're practicing and you have practiced yourself into a belief about that how that is how it is. That’s all.

    Quote Originally Posted by Klassik View Post
    And, isn't it the way it is that we (everyone) wants to go higher and higher, wants to feel better and better, isn't that the mantra of Abraham?

    It’s true that we want to feel better, but again, it’s how you focus and use that idea that’s important. This idea, too, is another stick. You can focus on either end of this stick and it’s going to feel differently as you do so.

    Quote Originally Posted by Klassik View Post
    Like, I feel better with some BFTs,...
    That’s the Wanted/Having-of-It end of the stick and it feel “better.”

    Quote Originally Posted by Klassik View Post
    but I am still thirsty and want to feel better and better.

    That’s the Unwanted/Lack-or-Absence end of the stick. (Isn’t “thirsty,” by definition, the Lack-or-Absence of the thing you’re thirsty for?) And that feels different than your “better” from your Wanted/Having-of-It focus.

    Putting this back into the context of the conversation that we were having, you were able to achieve some progress but then, in your moments of “thirst,” you are aware that you’re not yet where you want to be, which is why you’re feeling your “thirst” or Impatience (to use a word from the Scale). IOW, in your moment of “thirst,” you are no longer “Being satisfied with the emotional response,” as you were telling me. In fact, you’re being DISsatisfied with the emotional response, which is the opposite thing.

    Quote Originally Posted by Klassik View Post
    Isn't that natural?

    I might say it was “common” or “typical,” but it doesn’t have to be “natural.”

    You can’t thirst, flog, pressure or drive yourself into Alignment. Your emotional indicators which earn each of those labels are the very opposite of how you come into Alignment. They are the very opposite of the Allowing that is Step 3. So, in your moments of “thirst” or “not enough relief” or “not there yet” or “not high enough yet”--none of which feel better--you have stopped doing the Step 3 which is the only thing which leads to your Alignment.

    Notice that I’ve been emphasizing here the word “feel.” That’s because you seem to be losing sight of your emotional guidance system, either using it selectively (like only when you do your Process but not afterwards) or sporadically (like sometimes, in fits and starts, during your Process) or not at all (sort of using the words of the Scale as a substitute for your emotional guidance system). These are only guesses of mine. It’s up to you to pay attention to what you’re doing and to see where you might be doing something which isn’t Allowing your Alignment.

    Quote Originally Posted by Klassik View Post
    I mean: I can share my business story here: I intended a business, because of the benefits I would reap out of it: feeling of freedom, doing what I like, free timing, nice clients, nice this, nice that. I knew that I would have some thoughts on my way that wouldn't feel good, like "how to earn money with it" or "how to get clients" or "What should I even precisely do?" and "Am I good enough?" but I was totally optimistic that this would work out someway. Not the Abraham optimistic, found on the EGS.

    And now: I work everyday ("the work") on that, and after working on that, I feel better with not having an idea or not having clients or not earning money with it. I am just more fine with it. I am satisfied with the emotion of relief. I am sitting doing nothing after that, but I am fine with that. The next day, or 2 hours later, I am again unsatisfied, and need to work on that, again. And again. Did it change anything?
    It changed the way you felt, according to your story. It changed your real life experience for 2 hours or until the next day. You felt better than you would have felt in those 2 hours or until the next day, if you hadn’t done your “work.” You did that. You created a better experience for yourself by doing your “work.”

    But then you dismiss that with your “No,” which is a myopic answer. Your “No” once again dismisses how you improved your experience for those 2 hours or until the next day, simply because either you’re not seeing a tangible manifestation or because you’re seeing yourself as not where you want to be on the Scale on this topic. Once again, this is about how you’re allowing your focus to slip or to drift. That’s all right but that’s something that you can do something about.


  7. #137
    Quote Originally Posted by WellBeing View Post
    I’m aware that we are all hard-wired to want to feel better. But that idea is a “stick,” just like every other subject. We have the ability to focus on that “stick” from the Wanted/Having-of-It end or from the Unwanted/Lack-or-Absence end. We can tell which we are doing because we will feel differently as we do one or the other. You can use that idea to soothe your Doubts or your Impatience (both on the Scale) about your “work.” This would be a focus on the Wanted/Having-of-It end. It will feel different than using that idea to find dissatisfaction with the progress that you were able to accomplish, to diminish the relief you were able to create for yourself or to goad yourself into “drinking the water.” This would be a focus on the Unwanted/Lack-or-Absence end of the same stick.
    What I learn through this conversation is that it is really to feel better on anything, to apply the stick-analogy, the Abraham Hicks Teachings to anything. Thanks for pointing that out again. The Doubt/Impatience wasn't really clear to me, to be honest.

    Quote Originally Posted by WellBeing View Post
    You might not have practiced yourself so that you are consistently skilled at doing so but you DO have the ability to separate new thoughts, new feelings and new “things.” If you didn’t, you would not be able to do any of this “work” and this whole thread is testimony to your ability to do some of the separation you're claiming you "can't." So, you can see I do not agree with your statement about “that is how it is.” That is how it is for you because this is a story you're practicing and you have practiced yourself into a belief about that how that is how it is. That’s all.

    Really good to know. I see that you and other Abers are able to do that, and I am sure that I am not the only one who struggled here. So that is relief here.


    Quote Originally Posted by WellBeing View Post
    It’s true that we want to feel better, but again, it’s how you focus and use that idea that’s important. This idea, too, is another stick. You can focus on either end of this stick and it’s going to feel differently as you do so.

    Sure, that is in my ability to change my focus. But I won't be able to focus on the better-feeling end immediately. I mean, that is the step by step thing, because we can't take so big emotional leaps.

    Quote Originally Posted by WellBeing View Post
    That’s the Unwanted/Lack-or-Absence end of the stick. (Isn’t “thirsty,” by definition, the Lack-or-Absence of the thing you’re thirsty for?) And that feels different than your “better” from your Wanted/Having-of-It focus.

    That is right. With this "thirsty" it is like that I am not feeling relief on that topic. I don't think that on purpose, it is automatically and I am looking forward to find here real relief.

    Quote Originally Posted by WellBeing View Post
    Putting this back into the context of the conversation that we were having, you were able to achieve some progress but then, in your moments of “thirst,” you are aware that you’re not yet where you want to be, which is why you’re feeling your “thirst” or Impatience (to use a word from the Scale). IOW, in your moment of “thirst,” you are no longer “Being satisfied with the emotional response,” as you were telling me. In fact, you’re being DISsatisfied with the emotional response, which is the opposite thing.

    That is interesting, because I wouldn't have labeled it Impatience. It feels more like powerlessness to me, depression and what not. And yes you are right.

    Quote Originally Posted by WellBeing View Post
    You can’t thirst, flog, pressure or drive yourself into Alignment. Your emotional indicators which earn each of those labels are the very opposite of how you come into Alignment. They are the very opposite of the Allowing that is Step 3. So, in your moments of “thirst” or “not enough relief” or “not there yet” or “not high enough yet”--none of which feel better--you have stopped doing the Step 3 which is the only thing which leads to your Alignment.

    Notice that I’ve been emphasizing here the word “feel.” That’s because you seem to be losing sight of your emotional guidance system, either using it selectively (like only when you do your Process but not afterwards) or sporadically (like sometimes, in fits and starts, during your Process) or not at all (sort of using the words of the Scale as a substitute for your emotional guidance system). These are only guesses of mine. It’s up to you to pay attention to what you’re doing and to see where you might be doing something which isn’t Allowing your Alignment.
    I (after your post) started to feel more what I am feeling to find relief from those things. Thanks for the reminder. It's true that I didn't listened to it because of reasons.

    What I now think is that I just practise more and it will be easier. It is - and your posts prove that a big time - easier than I ma(k/d)e it. I am not that good to find relief on some subjects but that will become better and better, I am sure and I will share the work where I am not sure and where I can't find relief.

    Thanks!

  8. #138
    So I had a full day yesterday, where I worked in a place with a lot of creative people and where a lot of women and people were around. My job was to stay in a place for like 7 hours, so hundreds of people came my way, again and again. This was a brilliant situation to see, how many thoughts I have on this topic alone.

    I had a lot of thoughts.

    Atsome point, I had the impression, that these are a lot of differentthoughts I have going on here. So, is my impression right that thereare so many different thoughts on one subject (social/women) or is itone big story I am telling? I think that is just my art ofallowing. That day I really thought: "That is a lot to sooth."I was a bit overwhelmed (couldn't see/feel that yesterday, thatguidance) because of the amount of to soothing thoughts onthat subject. Because I just had to stand there (more or less), I started soothing right away, and right next a new thought poped up and it was like "I slowly progressed there, how should I sooth that big mountain?".

    So it was like:
    There is a women passing my way multiple times, she stand next to me as if she is shouting *TALK TO ME* but I just can't talk to her.
    There is another one, doing the exact same thing..

    And I started with
    ...I am not sure how to approach her, what wil she think if I start talking to her? If I would talk to her, how should that proceed, I have no idea and am so insecure..
    ...I know that this situation will come up again and again, so I have unlimited time to figure this out.
    ...I don't have to figure this out right now.
    ...I really would talk to her and she is so pretty and I hate that this situation will pass away like always.
    ...but that is not my job to do that, my job is to feel better.
    ...I have done that in the past..
    ...I can do this on other topics
    ...but here it is hard for some reason...
    ...but I have already found a way in the past to feel better here.
    ...but right now I just can make that happen..
    ...that is okay, I try and try and will alow the better feeling more and more..
    ...I know that I am not going to be able to go to her and talk to her, even though she WANTS talking to me...
    ...so I can use my energy to feel better...
    ...that wouldn't even work out if I could go to her because it doesn't feel good...
    ...so I wouldn't be able to talk to her secure...
    ...so my real work is just to feel better, that is all.
    [...]
    ...I feel slightly better.
    ...I can do that.
    ...I am not sure what to do...
    ...and I don't have to figure this out.
    ...I allow more and more of this into my experience..
    ...and there is no pressure to it..
    ...


    It was something like this. That is written from my mind, so it wasn't exactly like that. Just an example. I really avoided to look at women to work on that concentrately.

    So, when I work on other topics, it is much much easier for me to feel better, but here that is so like nothing. I started acknowledging my progress, and I include this in my work. But for some reason I have a harder time to feel better here. Do you have some ideas on that? I wrote after that some thoughts down because to work on that, but I am really not sure if that is the "normal" case to have that bunch of thoughts on that topic. I can share them if you like. I felt better, but then a new thought poped up and it was like a avalanche. What is the reason that I have to start all over again? At least that is what it feels like. And my goal here is to do the work, to feel better. I really concentrate on that, not to "make it happen through new thoughts."

    Thank you!

  9. #139
    Asked a friend if he want to come over, because of an event here. First, he did not answer, and when he answered, it was already too late (like he just went off, avoided answering) and he tried to used excuses all the time to not "do sth." like (when the event was going on) "when does the even start." or he goes off, just to not come by himself.

    All the time he is looking for excuses not to join something, and he never says it right away, that he don't want to go there. That pisses me off so hard, he does that every **** time. I never can rely on him. If I don't make a move to his town, nothing happens.He is the reason I am so pissed right now, how can he do that to me all the time? He does that for years, all the time, what the problem with telling me, that he don't want to and looking for some monkey reasons that he can't or sth. like that?

    I hope that this won't last forever, I don't have the nerves to handle that again and again. Why can't I just attract somebody who is reliable and not so wishy-washy? That is realy dissappointing that this happens to me although I know all the Abraham Hicks Stuff. I know LoA but still attracting so douches. I should by now know better. Of course I know that I am the reason for his behaviour (to me) or for the people I am attracting, but haven't managed to change that by now. And I know it and ask him again and again, although I know he will do it this way, because he is doing it all the time.Why I can't just have some normal friends, who are spontanious and "easy"?

    hy do I have to meet up with so people like him? I mean, he is not bad, indee he is a nice guy, but some things just makes me crazy...
    Last edited by Klassik; 05-27-2017 at 10:17 AM. Reason: formatting

  10. #140
    Super Moderator WellBeing's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    Posts
    14,979
    Why do you want to be friends with him? (That's an honest, non-sarcastic question.)

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •