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Thread: The work, make progress in my emotions using Emotional Guidance System - step by step

  1. #181
    Quote Originally Posted by WellBeing View Post
    I can understand that they don't bring relief because they are all essentially the same vibration of the "problem." That's why I asked my question of you.

    This experience is such a helpful thing for you to have posted because it shows (me, at least) how focused you are on what you do not want and how you are approaching these teachings as a tool to fix your problems, rather than the "feel better" that we've been talking about. If you would be willing to let go a little bit of your problem and actually reach for "better," you might see that you could focus elsewhere--even within this topic--to find your "better." You could focus on your manifestation of this wonderful opportunity, which you got to live no matter how it turned out for you. You could focus on the bright and beautiful new people that you were meeting. You could perhaps find some enjoyment from your friend's friend, whom everyone seems to like, according to your description. IOW, all these things would feel better than your insecurity and your jealousy about these other people. You might find some relief in finding thoughts about how if these people can figure out how to be at ease, then maybe you could, too.
    Can you give me a hint of the difference for you of doing the work to feel better and on the other side to fix something?
    How would it be look like to sooth a "I don't know how I ever will be able to have a women." thought, when it comes up so often? (I don't want you to do the work for me, just to get an idea.)

    So, at the new shooting yesterday I was then doing more of the later, to focus on the things that worked there.

  2. #182
    Took a walk. Saw a women 20 meter with a dog going into my direction.

    God damn it she is so hot. I never have a chance with such a women. I am so nervous just by seeing her, I feel so insecure and be so stiff and can't even look her in th eyes, although she is so much younger than me."
    • I really would like to be so easy and smooth and don't give a f*$* about those the beauty and the confidence of those women like some other guys do. (jealousy)
    • What would I give to be so relaxed as the other guys around those women.
    • I can't believe that I am so stiff around those women. (hate)
    • I really would like to punch some in the face. (revenge)
    • I just will go hack this website. (revenge)
    • Look at this guy, he is so ugly and looks so insecure, too, but get all the women. What the?
    • I am around so much people that I really would have thought that I am more comfortable around women by now.

    Hm, lets try sth. else.
    • That I have so much resistance here means, that there is a lot of relief to be mined!
    • I have so much opportunity to practise the Teachings on this topic, what will help me feel better on other topics, too!
    • Just because they are attractive, doesn't mean that they are sympathic or that I want to be around them, bc. maybe their personality is off.
    • Women are only a small part of my life and the life - I am responsible to make me happy, not the women or anyone else.
    • Women can make life better, but they are not the solutions to my resistance nor do they want to be the solution.
    • I know that other people have found ways to feel better without a partner, and I know that some of them were really down in life. So when they can do that, I can, too!
    • Today I know more than all the years before.

    That was better, TBH. The statements are much softer than "revenge" or "hate" so that makes me wonder why that worked a bit.

  3. #183
    Some success here.

    I have to share two money manifestion storys here, because that is so unbelievable sometimes.

    First, I went on a webpage where you can compare prices for your internet contracts and stuff. I ordered internet over 8 months ago with this website and when I was on that page again last week, just without any real reason, I logged in and found (did not get any notification or something in my email), that they granted me 200 €. It was there waiting for me for 8 months, and now I clicked it and now it's on my bank account. That just blows my mind. No work, just money.

    The other one: In my success thread in the success sub forum I shared my success with getting a job on a theatre and that this includes getting on a trip with the theatre to another country for a guest performance one week long (what I first had missed because I couldn't take part in the rehearsals with my singing group because of my "job" last winter). I got paid the trip, got a sea view single two size bed room (normally I had to share a room when I had to go their with my singing group but I was "cast" in the last "minute" for another role as an actor) and I got paid for that role, and one week before the trip they asked me "do you can do this and this role in those other pieces, too?" and had so much responsibility and I got paid for EVERYTHING. While the performance of a piece I was asked (on the piece I never did before and premiered in front of 2000 people) by the manager if I want to do that job back home, too. My singing group who were there too with me didn't get paid for their singing. I got the "priviliged" direct flight (others had to change flights and drive by bus over 16 hours SIX-TEEN, I was there in 2 hours) and I got 3 FREE DAYS ON TOP FOR FREE, ALL PAID, my singing group departed 3 days earlier.

    And that is not even the success here (it is, of course). I just cleared my wardrobe and there was my suitcase I took to that trip. I put something in it (the description of how to unlock the suitcase) and found 40 € in it, although I was SURE that I took everything out of it when I was back home, because I like it to be clean. That was such a happy suprice to just find nearly 50 €. GREAT. I did found a receipt for a coffee from the airport over 5 € and it, too, and it is so interesting that most people moan about that price but I just KNOW by now - really - that whatever I buy I will get the money back on some way and that I will have enough money and that 5 € is "nothing" and get back into my experience. I love this.

    Or when I was on this big event here in Germany where a soft drink 0,2 l cost like 7 € I like "Look at where I am already! Look at all the nice suited people here, what a driftwood! I just decided to be here and now I am on this prestigious event where all the people back home ask me how I got here and that they can't believe what that ticket costs and that I have the money already back in my wallet."


  4. #184
    Super Moderator WellBeing's Avatar
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    Oct 2008
    Let me come at this from a different angle and hopefully, I can help you get clearer on this rather than confusing you.

    So, you had your filming experience. Notice how you started your post about that with statements of excitement or eager anticipation. That's because you were focusing on the newness of the experience (That newness can be refreshing, can't it?). Or on the movement and opportunity that this experience may have represented to you. Or on how this might be related or helpful to your career. Or on the glamor of the project or the filming. Or…. Or…. Or…. You know that list better than I could know that for you.

    These are all thoughts, which are causing your emotions of excitement or eager anticipation. IOW, you weren't yet there in the midst of it, observing the filming or the glamor. You were simply thinking about that and looking forward to those things. (In Abraham terminology, we would say that “you were focusing towards your Wanted end of this stick,” which produced your feelings of excitement and eager anticipation.)

    Then, when you got in the midst of it, you chose (probably not consciously or deliberately, but you DID choose) to think different thoughts. You started to observe other people and then compare yourself harshly in relationship to them. Those, too, are thoughts and those thoughts produced different emotions within you.

    Here's the thing: you already thought your BFTs. You found those already, even before you went to your filming. So, there’s no searching for BFTs, really. You did that “work” even before you recognized it as “work.” That’s what I was suggesting in my last reply to you. But you don’t usually see that option because you’re so determined to hit this thing head-on.

    Now, you may want to say to me, “But, WB, those thoughts no longer feel better to me because I crapped up my opportunity, so now it’s not much of an opportunity.” Fair enough. (Although your IB and I won’t be joining you in your “crapped up” story--You never get it wrong). So, then you get to play one of my favorite games here on the Forum: “What would you tell a dear friend who came to you telling you of this same problem to help him feel better?” And keep in mind that lies don’t feel better, not to a hurting friend. Chances are you'd reach for thoughts which might help your dear friend relax their attachment to their “crapped up” story. You might distract their focus away from the “crappy” pieces of their manifestation. You might even be able to get them to find and to focus upon a “good" piece (or 3) of their manifestation. You might be able to talk them down from how “crappy” this experience is. You might have to take a General perspective to do this. (“In 100 years, everyone who had participated in that manifestation will all be dead.”) You might listen to their story and hear some of their thoughts about their age or their worthiness or their expectations about where they should be and talk them out of some of those.

    Quote Originally Posted by Klassik View Post
    That is interesting because I deliberately looked for Statements of Revenge or Anger, for example. Not all, but some.
    I know. I saw. But by your own reporting here, you're not really finding relief in those thoughts. Now, I don't fully know why not because I don't have access to your full thought processes. But, from.what I've been seeing here, I think a piece of this is you're not really starting with your thoughts of your insecurity or your Unworthiness. You're focusing on “them,” rather than your thoughts about you. Look at what you've posted here about your friend's friend. They're almost all focused on him and what he's doing. That's not why you're feeling your discomfort.

    You're feeling your discomfort because of your thoughts and stories you’re telling yourself about what he's doing impacts you. Stories about how you can't be like him or about how old you are and where you “should” be at that age and how you can't learn what they have learned, etc. IOW, these are thoughts about you, not them. “When I see him (or her), I think these things about me.” These are the thoughts you want to shift for your relief.

    Rather than shifting your thoughts about you, you have been reaching for thoughts about “them.” You don't really want to be mad at “them” or to disfigure “them.” You like, admire and/or desire many of “them.” But rather than being angry at “them" or yourself, you could instead get angry at the people who trained you into your current habits of thought. You might find more relief in thoughts of Revenge of showing up all those who criticized you and dismissed you, rather than in your thoughts of harming those you actually desire.

    Recently, I shared with another Forum friend my ideas about Revenge. Many of our Forum friends know that I'm a big fan of Revenge. For one thing, it's one of the few places on the Scale where we’re actually encouraged to think about action, as you already know. I have found my greatest relief in thoughts of Revenge where I take back my power. My greatest relief from my thoughs of Revenge comes when my “Revenge” is directed towards my Wanted. What I mean by that is rather than thinking about diminishing “them,” I find my relief in thinking about my improvement and I get my “Revenge” on those who taught me not to do or be or say these things, not these.peiple who are helping me remember that I want to do or be or say these things. Then I get my “Revenge” from this who might have “wronged” me, not “them” whom I might desire and who haven't done anything other than be what I want.

  5. #185
    Super Moderator WellBeing's Avatar
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    Oct 2008
    Quote Originally Posted by Klassik View Post
    How would it be look like to sooth a "I don't know how I ever will be able to have a women." thought, when it comes up so often?
    There are many different ways to go about that.

    You can soften the “I don't know how…”piece, making the “fact" (it's not really a fact; it's just a story that you're telling yourself) that “I don't know how…” to be less of an awful thing:

    “Yeah, I don't know how. That sucks because ‘I don't know how’ to do this thing that I want and I don't know how I'd go about know how to be or do different. It sucks, but that's how it is for now. There is no magic wand that will zap me and change things. [Making peace with where I am.] And beating myself up about this isn't going to help me learn. I know that from the other things that I've tried to learn.

    “But I HAVE learned other things before. I've learned lots of things before. I know how to learn stuff. In fact, if I look at my life, it's sort of been an ongoing process of learning stuff. I may not know how to do this thing but I DO have the ability to learn. Everyone's had to learn it. No one was just been born with the these social skills. We've all had to learn how to be social. And I've learned how to be social in different situations. I wasn’t born being social. No one was. We all came from a place where we didn’t interact with one another in the ways that we do now. We all had to learn our own ways of doing this. And we all have different ways of doing this….”

    Or you can address the “ever” piece:
    “Hey, hey, hang on there! Just because I don't now know or because I haven't known for some time before, that doesn't mean I won't ‘ever’ know. There were lots of things I did for a long, long time until I did something different. I didn't have hair under my arms for a long, long time. I could have then told a story of how I couldn't ‘ever’ see my way to have hair under my arms But that story would've been inaccurate.

    “So, I don't know. I can't foretell the future. Maybe this fits into the same camp as the ‘hair under my arms’ story. I don't know.

    “But I DO know that my ‘ever’ story doesn't feel better. I know that. And leaving aside what Abraham and the Forum say for just a minute, I also know that my ‘ever’ story just heaps pressure on me and makes what is already difficult that much harder for me. I can feel that. So, how can I talk myself out of that ‘ever’ story? I CAN see how that little bit of relief could make it easier for me to learn….”

    Or you could carve this big topic into smaller pieces. (What Abraham call “Swiss Cheese-ing,” from an idea from one of Esther's friends.) Rather than tackling the entire “relationship with a woman” (and all that means to you), start with a smaller piece of all of that, preferably a piece which is easier to deal with. If I were in your situation, such a piece would be talking to a woman (because, in most cases, talking to a woman is often a important component to a relationship with a woman). This would be “easier” to me because I can start to look at all the woman I CAN talk to.

    This brings me to yet another approach: you could start looking for and taking a “positive” score. This would provide you with relief from the negative score that this thread showcases. Start counting how many woman to whom you say even a single word. You could even combine this with Abraham's Go General Process and count all females (of any species--heck, you can Go General to include all human beings) to whom you say even a single word. Any out-loud word counts.

    When you've done a bunch of that counting, you'll be armed with “evidence” that you CAN talk to women. So, you can start to dismantle that story, first by recognizing that your “I can't talk to women” isn't an accurate story (even in “real” manifested terms) and then but finding a story which still seems true (in relationship to your “evidence”) yet which feels better.

    All of these approaches have the ability to provide you with relief, which will feel better than the powerful emotions you've been sharing here in your thread.

    As you've been reading my reply, I'm sure you've had objections about quite a few things I've suggested here. That's all right. But your objections are resistance. (BTW, your objections aren't “resistance” because you're objecting to ME. Almost everything I've suggested here is in line with the general perspective of your IB. Because you're objecting to what your IB is thinking, that's what makes me label any objections you had as “resistance.”) It's all right that you had your objections. But knowing that your objections are resistance, you can start to talk yourself out of your objections, because your objections are holding you in a vibrational place you don't want to be, you see?

  6. #186
    Super Moderator WellBeing's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Klassik View Post
    So then lets try if I can focus on what I want here.

    OK, let's do that. Let me preface what I'm about to say with the clear statement that NONE of my following comments are intended as any form of criticism.

    Quote Originally Posted by Klassik View Post
    I had a application offer in my mailbox from my job department here I had to apply (or they will lower my money by 30 %).

    So, notice here how your focus is on what you don't want. It's all right that this is where you're putting your focus. But let's notice this, in case you hadn't yet noticed this. (And, don't worry; I'm going to come back to this in a minute.)

    Quote Originally Posted by Klassik View Post
    Besides the fact that I was shaking when I was writing the application...

    When you're manifesting a physical reaction such as shaking, that's a sign of vibrational momentum. It's important to be aware that your shaking is a manifestation of your vibrational momentum, so that you can effectively “work” with your vibration. In times when our vibrational momentum is acute (and it doesn't have to be to the point where we're shaking) our vibrational options are limited. Here's the list (from most preferred to least preferred):

    1. Take a nap.
    2. Meditate.
    3. Distract yourself.
    4. (If you can't do any of the above then) Go General.

    All of these things can help you to allow your momentum to subside. Your momentum WILL peter out, if you let it, if you don't add to it. These four techniques are the most helpful approaches to allowing your momentum to peter out. Most everything else will likely add to your unwanted momentum. That's good to know, isn't it?

    So, when you're shaking as you fill out your application, even if you're not an Aber, you know that it's unlikely that going to present the best of you in your application. That just makes sense. So, it might make some sense, when you're shaking, to take a nap (or meditate) in order to soothe your shaking and to slow your shaking momentum. Then when you wake up, you might want to do some vibrational “work” before you turn your attention back to your application.

    Now, here's where I'm going to come back to your first comments. We talked about how they were focused on what you don't want. So, what might be what you do want (because this is how this Peanut in the Gallery would approach this. Remember, this is only one suggestion because there is no single “right” answer.)?

    You'll have to reach for your own but here are some thoughts which come to my mind:

    “I know I don't want to do this application but I'm really glad to have this program available to me. I'm really glad to have this money coming in to me through this program. I can see all the ways my life is better for having this program. I can look forward with some certainty to this money. Without it, I would have yet another topic of fear or worry in my life. I understand that this program isn't my avenue for the prosperity that's in my Vortex, but I'm glad that I have allowed this program and this abundance to manifest for me. I really am glad that these funds and this program help to keep me off the streets and to put some food in my belly. My life would really suck without this program.

    “And I can understand why they insist upon the program’s participants making these applications. The program wants us to reach for our avenues of greater abundance, our Vortex abundance. And I want this, too, for me. So, I can rail against this requirement (and that railing against doesn't feel very good to me. I can feel that.) or I can start to shift my perspective around so that I can see how this requirement is actually aligned with what I really want.

    “And my panic/shaking is actually helpful to me because, thanks to this experience, I’m now clearer than ever that I have a story about interviewing, which I’d been practicing consistently enough and for long enough that I created for myself the physical manifestation of my shaking. That’s good for me to know because, thanks to my new awareness, I might want to shift around my priorities. I might decide to give a higher priority to my story about interviewing than some of these other topics/stories on which I’ve been ‘working.’

    “So, this brings me to another thing I can appreciate about this program: I’m glad that I manifested this program to give me the time and the vibrational space to ‘work’ on my interviewing story so that I can create a more pleasant interviewing experience for myself. Because I can see how I’m going to want that sort of skill, not just now, but throughout my life. This is good for me to know….”

    So, there is a whole big pile of focusing-on-your-Wanted, which then sets the stage for your application. Now, if you wait until you sit down to your application to do this sort of “work,” chances are that will be too little, too late because you have your interviewing story sort of on autoplay in the back of your head. Instead, you might decide that, in order to continue to get the money that you want from this program that you want, you have agreed (and you have) to do these applications. Since you want to live up to your agreements and since this “requirement” (too strong of a word) really is aligned with what you want, you may decide that you’re going to “work” on your interviewing story so that you can more pleasantly fulfill your end of your agreement. IOW, rather than forcing yourself to overcome your resistant shaking with action (which, you’re learning, isn’t effective) and do your application anyway, you decide that you’re going to get out ahead of it, so that you start up a different, better-feeling (indicating a “less resistant”) momentum. As you start practicing that momentum, you might get so good at it that it last beyond simply the application process up until or perhaps through the interviewing process.

    Quote Originally Posted by Klassik View Post
    (fun fact: I was in a job improvement course from the job dep. where we should be teached how to write applications and basic things for those who haven't got a job for long time and one of the guys there who was attending the course told me, and others, too, that they wrote application application application and got over 50 ! declines without even an invitation. That is my FIRST application FOR YEARS and I got invited just the same day and this is so proof of LoA, because they talked like this, too, and it was no suprise that their life was like it was, blaming the companys and what not.)

    Now, THIS is clearly wanted. If you spent all (or simply, more) of your air-time focusing on this nugget, withdrawing your attention from all the rest, you would
    1. feel better. (I mean, don’t take my word for it. Read that passage alone and then read the rest of your post. If you can find a passage in your post that feels better than this passage, I’d like for you to point it out to me.)
    2. and your PoA would be much improved.

    I’ve thrown a lot at you in the last few days. I’ll stop here and let you digest my replies.

    Congratulations on your manifestations!
    Last edited by WellBeing; 3 Weeks Ago at 08:55 PM. Reason: Formatting

  7. #187
    Thank you very much for the helpful replies! I just read them 2 hours ago (and still do tomorrow again and again, really like examples and the processes) because I opted out for two weeks here because I couldn't get any better feeling thoughts and that was depressing. I just didn't wanted to share my unwanted here everyday. So I slept much much much much more (also daytimes; today, too, 2 hours in the mid of the day) because of "don't know what to do" thoughts and was not able to sooth that. So I tried to find BFTs all the time and sure did on some things and mainly distracted and watched a TV series from "cover first episode to cover last episode" (hehe).

    I am really happy for your replies. I always try to go from "powerlessness" to "insecurity" or near that. Or to "guilt" lateley. Like: "I should have taken care of my financial situation much earier when I had the opportunity. I could have that all avoided by taking action earlier." That brings not as close of the relief as the statements you wrote in your replies (which are much more "positive" or lets call "softer"; my statements are like, if even 1/100 relief, yours at least 15/100 for comparsing) That is a good thing because I KNOW now that I can find relief there in this category and that I probably just pushed the break and not the gas.

    You have some statements where you appreciate the circumstances (wanted end of the stick). I understand that logically, but I always avoided that on purpose because that vibrational gap is sooooooo huge and I read here to NOT do that. No HFS. You know, the "take the stairs" story. My only explanation is that you do this because you appreciate another "topic" or another situation, but in the end they all relate to "work" in this case (or money). I have those thoughts, too, but I avoid them. So I should think them more, but that makes no sense to me.

    Looking forward to inhalate your written posts again later.

  8. #188
    Super Moderator WellBeing's Avatar
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    Oct 2008
    ALL of our answers have built into them the idea of emotional guidance. You're looking for hard and fast rules without being guided by your own emotional guidance. The answer is ALWAYS "feel better," not "do it this way" or "do it that way."

  9. #189

    I just don't know what I want to do with my business (what to offer, to create) and that is pissing me so much, because at some point I have to earn MONEY with it.
    1.How long should I look into the wall and wait, until something happen?
    2.Day by day, MONTHS are passing by without any concrete idea, without one second of DOING something with my business to earn some money. I can't anymore long.
    3.I make myself so much presure. I know that the topic money is a hot topic for a big part of society and I shouldn't make myself so much presure and to make it more harder on it.
    4.It isn't a nice position, but I am where I am.
    5.By accepting my situation I take some presure out of the equation.
    6.I already have some ways where I earn money, so I am now not depending on that business. Some of them aren't very attractive, but others very much.
    7.So I am not depending on that business.
    8.I'd like to have this business primary, because I like the idea to work free and earn big amounts of money with my own business, because I like the idea of earning money on my own terms. And later, I'd like to have lots of personal contact with people in my city when I am ready for that, because I like to be with other people. At least, I "tasted" the idea how it feels like to be with other people and I would l like it to be a part of my business later, too.
    9.Also I have the creative freedom to do things I like.
    10.I like the idea that other people already did this.
    11.I like the idea, that the topic of owning a successful own business, what is for most people connected with failure, can be easily achieved with the right mindset.
    12.I like that.
    13.I like, that I have this busines and much other pleasing things in my vortex.
    14.I like the memory, that I have earned 4-digits of money in the past. I EARNED it already. I KNOW it's possible.
    15.I like the thought, that there is an UNLIMITED demand of all different things and that I will find something, that people will want really badly and that I will earn a big money with it and that people will love.
    16.I see, that I won't "make it happen" by closing my eyes and opening them or by some magical thought tricks, but I can create a more pleasing trip to that point.
    17.I can see, that the LoA brings all people and myself in all areas of life reliable evidence of my inner thoughts and feelings and I am thrilled, how the action and the situations will look like when I am shifting my vibration.
    18.I like, that I have successfuly improved my feelings!
    19.I like that!
    20.I CAN do it! I CAN make myself feel better even on that topic.
    21.I like that realization.
    22.I am hungry.
    23.Before I started this BFT-finding-process, I was tired and could have slept the whooole day, but now I just want to embrace the day suck it in! I didn't changed ANY of my conditions, but ONLY my thoughts and that makes all the difference.
    24.I appreciate the (subtle?) hints by WellBeing, that I should concentrate on my feelings what made myself do this when I started this process, which finally lead me to this pleasing place of nice feelings, although I could have choke him when I first read his post. Now I would like to shake his hand.

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