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Thread: Mum made her transition yesterday and I feel so sad

  1. #1

    Mum made her transition yesterday and I feel so sad

    She gave me life into this physical body and I watched her leave hers. I know she's in a better place free from her physical restrictions, I cannot get into a better feeling place, the inner me knows It feels so 'off' to be so sad I want to get into alignment with all that's good I just can't seem to manage anything other than tears.

    I feel so deeply deeply sad..can you help me to get into a better feeling place even if it's just a little better. Sometimes I struggle to understand Abes teachings of how I can help myself.

    Thank you so much



  2. #2
    Beloved Woman paradise-on-earth's Avatar
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    See, dear- even while you "know" how this all works around death (here are very helpful quotes)
    Abe-quotes about Death

    -you ARE experiencing a loss.
    She is not in physical form now, anymore, and it is so natural to be sad that you "lost" what you are so known to, and what was so very dear to you.
    And also, we all have a lot of trained momentum on not being totally fine with death.
    You pushing against "where you are" is not helping!

    You are where you are, and your emotions are absolute understandable and valid.
    Make peace with this sadness.
    Relax into it. Stop fighting against it.
    Let the tears flow, allow yourself to be where you are- until you feel inspired to something else.
    This time WILL come.

    And the sooner you relax and "fall out of the airplane", the sooner your cork will bob back again,
    all by itself. Until then (and of course ALWAYS )- just be as nice and as gentle and friendly with yourself as possible!

    Give yourself all the time you need, sleep as much as possible, feel for what feels best- as relief-, to you, here and now.
    Maybe this is the perfect time to finally learn what you wanted to learn anyway: To be able to "help yourself" under all conditions, to love and get happy eventually, unconditionally.

    Your Mum is RIGHT there for, with and around you, with all the other fairies of the Universe- closer than ever before, and without any resistance, pain or blame, but in pure love and deepest understanding.
    What hurts so much, is not that she "went away"- because, she didnīt.
    What hurts is that you deem her to be gone- while source KNOWS that the exact opposite is true.


    (Your transitioned father) didnīt really go away!
    He DID change his point of consciousness.
    His point of vibration IS at a much higher level.
    You donīt recognize him, in some ways- because
    there is no resistance what so ever in his vibration-
    BUT YOU STILL HAVE ACCESS TO HIM!

    You donīt have to experience the loss of him!
    Because he did not go anywhere!
    BUT YOU DID!

    When he left his physical body,
    YOU stopped believing
    in the existence and the reality of him!

    from the clip
    Abraham Hicks 2016 - Dealing with fear of loss

  3. #3
    FallenAngel's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Daydream_Believer View Post
    I just can't seem to manage anything other than tears.
    Abraham has told us that tears release resistance. If you can't manage anything other than tears right now, then it's time to cry. Tears are never something to fight against, they are always working for you. Yes, looking for better feeling thoughts is a foundational principal of this Work, but so is embracing Contrast and knowing the value and necessity of it, even as we are feeling "bad." If you can't manage anything other than tears right now, then it's time to let yourself cry.

  4. #4
    songbird's Avatar
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    Hello Daytime Believer,

    When i was feeling deeply sad, my inner being clearly said something that really helped me alot.
    - that my sadness was also an expression of my love (for her), and to allow the tears to flow and be expressed.

    And a wonderful thing started to happen over time, when i accepted that my sadness was also an expression of my love, and I allowed the tears. At first it was really strong and the tears would flow, and I would find myself just walking along and suddenly i would be overcome with sadness and cry, and so I would allow the tears to flow freely without clinging to them, or pushing them away, simply ALLOWING them, in the spirit that they were an expression of my love too. And what I found is that OVER TIME by doing this, slowly and surely, my emotions just found there natural way back to balance and to that connection that is underlying everything. It was a beautiful teaching for me.

    So, what I found through my own experience, is that ALLOWING sadness, does just that, it allows it to be expressed and through expression it gradually, over time, gets expressed, and so becomes less and less and less....until it is fully expressed.

    By really feeling the sadness in a wholehearted way, and being PRESENT with yourself, in a kind and loving way as you would be a friend. What you will find, over time, is that when you really FEEL the sadness, and it is Allowed expression; then it is able to flow freely and find its own ending, in its own time.

    Be gentle with yourself, be as nice to yourself as you can possibly be.
    And soothe yourself, with the knowing that you have that your mum is "still here", and that in time, you will feel that.
    And know that what will happen is that you will transition from a "physical" relationship with your mum, to one that is more subtle, more "non Physical" more spirtual. And I found that even with the understanding of abraham and of life being eternal, that transition does take a litte time, so be easy on yourself.
    And although it may take some time, but you WILL begin to feel better, with time.
    So maybe knowing that, can also help you to feel better.

    And if you can, do things that bring you peace, that are emotionally soothing for you.
    Whatever your find nurturing and soothing emotionally for yourself, do them.


    Much Love

    Songbird

  5. #5
    lemon-up's Avatar
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    even for us aber's it's very natural to cry a lot, miss them and feel sad.

    the more you can find alignment the easier it will be. But don't beat yourself up for grieving. Cry it out. Think of how amazing she still is.

    be very easy on yourself. find things to do that distract you. talk to her, she is still there. Allow that she is exactly where she is supposed to be on her path. and so are you.

    just feel what you feel and your aber instincts will kick in

  6. #6
    Thank you, I'm talking to her which is nice however I'm then reminded of the absence of her physical presence. I try to relax into my tears to give way to them knowing each episode lasts for a short time. I'm doing my best I feel I'm missing my alignment as if I've been knocked off my axis.

    I'll get there I intend to make sure I return to a good feeling place because being this sad isn't my natural state of being it's feels so 'off'



  7. #7
    Quote Originally Posted by Daydream_Believer View Post
    Thank you, I'm talking to her which is nice however I'm then reminded of the absence of her physical presence. I try to relax into my tears to give way to them knowing each episode lasts for a short time. I'm doing my best I feel I'm missing my alignment as if I've been knocked off my axis.

    I'll get there I intend to make sure I return to a good feeling place because being this sad isn't my natural state of being it's feels so 'off'
    You got it. What if you sometimes lose that connection, and shoot more rockets of desire, and now an even clearer connection is ready for you, an even more fine-tuned Vortex is ready for you. Your mother is always there in your Vortex and both you and she are becoming more because of your rockets of desire about that connection. You are doing extremely well in both your step-1 and step-3 moments

  8. #8
    songbird's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Daydream_Believer View Post
    Thank you, I'm talking to her which is nice however I'm then reminded of the absence of her physical presence. I try to relax into my tears to give way to them knowing each episode lasts for a short time. I'm doing my best I feel I'm missing my alignment as if I've been knocked off my axis.

    I'll get there I intend to make sure I return to a good feeling place because being this sad isn't my natural state of being it's feels so 'off'
    Yes, you will.
    It sounds like your doing better than you think you are because your able to talk with her in the first place, shows you must be near the vibration.
    And what you say about how it feels so "off" to you, is a really good sign isnt it?
    However, another thought is that could it be that your thought that it feels off, is what feels off? If you know what i mean!!

    What I was originally going to say in reply to your last post, is that Abraham have often said, that when something like this happens, that it is natural for us to take the "hit" if you will emotionally, that it is NATURAL, when something big happens to loose your balance. And you are absolutely right, you WILL find it again, it just takes a little time, and a little faith.

    My experience was that what happens is that there is a period of transition where we go from having a physical relationship with the person we love, to having a non physical relationship with them, And that "transition" if you will, takes a little time. Because, even when we feel them and hear them around us now that they are wholly spirit, we are accustomed to having a see it, hear it, physical relationship with them. So it takes a little time, for US to adjust mentally, and emotionally, to having a NEW kind of relationship with them. One where we relate in a different way to them.

    And it is a natural process, whereby we transition from sadness and loss, into a more stable emotional place. At the same time as adjusting from a physical to a non physical relationship. It is a natural process. Let it unfold naturally, as I am sure that you are already.

    Remember, abraham teach us that we are naturally HAPPY.
    It is just the resistance that pushes the cork under the water.
    And in time, maybe less than you think, your cork will be back up there, bobbing on the surface again, to be sure.

    All is well.

  9. #9
    I love all of these replies they really make sense to me! Today I've felt my resistance, I've got angry at myself for crying (again) because it's boring time consuming and there are lots of other things I could be doing.

    I feel afraid today of my emotions, I feel afraid I'll never move through this process so again I felt my resistance. My chest hurts and I have felt sick since she transitioned again resistance?

    It makes sense to me that if I stopped pushing against these feelings I will feel better however I seem to somehow have decided that going with the flow means fully feeling my grief which scares me.

    I know enough to know that this is not true so without sounding like I'm not listening how do I now stop resisting?



  10. #10
    Super Kitty Marc's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Daydream_Believer View Post
    Today I've felt my resistance, I've got angry at myself for crying (again) because it's boring time consuming and there are lots of other things I could be doing.
    Why? What gives you the impression that where you are isn't okay? In fact, when you look at where you are and conclude that it isn't okay, you feel strong negative emotion, which is evidence that your IB sees things very differently.
    Quote Originally Posted by Daydream_Believer View Post
    I feel afraid today of my emotions, I feel afraid I'll never move through this process so again I felt my resistance.
    Again, why? What's causing you to ignore the strong negative emotion that's telling you that your IB does not agree with that notion?

    Quote Originally Posted by Daydream_Believer View Post
    It makes sense to me that if I stopped pushing against these feelings I will feel better however I seem to somehow have decided that going with the flow means fully feeling my grief which scares me.
    What's so scary about it? It's just negative emotion.

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