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Thread: Advice needed: One job rejection today, still waiting to hear back from another.

  1. #111
    Super Kitty Marc's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by coolwaters View Post
    Two and half years ago I was laid off from the career I hated and couldn't see myself in which is when I began to work on my own side project. I took it as a sign that the universe was telling me it was aligned with my goal and I should now pursue this full time because I had money saved, I was enjoying my project and the people I was working with it on, and I had an intense belief this could be successful and provide me with abundance financially and creatively.
    Well, your experience has born out that your conclusion was illogical. What you think, how you feel and what manifests is always a perfect match, so
    Quote Originally Posted by coolwaters View Post
    Ive never quite felt so in sync with who I am and what could be in the future. I never felt so optimistic and convinced what I worked on was going to pan out and pay off. And then I put my faith in the universe and moved to a new state to pursue it and everything fell apart.
    Changing conditions doesn't change vibration. So when you're used to HATING something and you just move away from it physically, your vibration doesn't change. Before too long, LOA has to re-create things to match your vibration. That's what happened here -- you changed conditions, but your vibration didn't change. All of the things that felt off about the career you "hated" didn't just go away. That resistance was still active and it was INEVITABLE that LOA had to create more of what you didn't like. Conditions are the PRODUCT of your vibration, not the cause.

    On one of the DVDs, Abraham was talking to a woman who wasn't happy with her life in the big city. It was too loud, crowded, and the like, so she moved to a house away from all of that in the middle of the woods. She was on the hot seat because she had just gotten word that developers had purchased a bunch of land near her home and were developing a big subdivision. Abraham explained that it was LOA literally bringing all the things she didn't like about living in the city because moving away from them did not shift her vibration. She had to find ways to make peace with the things she did not like and start focusing on the things she really appreciated about where she was in order for her vibration to shift.
    Quote Originally Posted by coolwaters View Post
    The minute I stepped foot into my new residence, it didnt feel like a good fit, I tried to make it work but it didnt, so the universe threw me a lifeline in that I was able to stay at a friends vacant apartment. That wasn't a great fit either. Everything just felt completely off and I felt like a different person, less confident, less knowing, less faithful, less happy. The work collapsed, team members no longer co-created like we were all doing and from thereon out, my life hasn't been the same. Everything since then has just felt off to me. Three years ago feels like a completely different life experience.
    Except that it really doesn't. You've gone from the career you "hated" to another experience you hate. You've tried switching conditions, whether it's moving from one career to another, switching apartments, etc. and no matter where you go you keep encountering this feeling of "not a good fit." You keep encountering that because it's always about YOU and where your alignment is. You're the common denominator in those experiences. When you're used to looking around and seeing that things are "not a good fit," you keep getting more of "not a good fit." Isn't that the essence of what was going on with the career you didn't like? It was you shouting from the rooftops, "THIS ISN'T A GOOD FIT!" You're just still dealing with the reality that emphasizing how something isn't a good fit doesn't get you a better fit.
    Quote Originally Posted by coolwaters View Post
    When people speak of the vortex as being this magnificent, inspiring, creative, exuberant, tireless, ecstatic state of being, I have experienced that and it was through my work that I eased right into that. Im sure I had many moments where I was outside the vortex in that time span but I just cannot recall them.
    At least you remember how feeling good feels like.
    Quote Originally Posted by coolwaters View Post
    I only remember it being a beautiful time and here's the kicker: I was living at home. It didnt matter. Everything seemed right.
    That proves my point. All of this angst you've told us about that you've made about living at home isn't about living at home. It's just about your OWN ALIGNMENT.
    Quote Originally Posted by coolwaters View Post
    Everything seemed perfect for what was coming and then…nothing. None of it worked out or manifested into anything.
    Sure it did. It manifested as this really enjoyable experience. You talked about how how in sync you felt, how you enjoyed what you were doing and the people you worked with. THAT'S A MANIFESTATION. That's a significant manifestation that most people would love to experience. Now I understand that it didn't yield more than that, but doesn't that tell the entire story? Now it's certainly understandable, but what you're describing is the vibration of lack that prevents things from changing. It's that feeling of, "This isn't enough" that
    Quote Originally Posted by coolwaters View Post
    And ever since then my life has been completely different. I worked on another side project which became a mobile app that I released, but it never felt like that original experience. Even when it accomplished more than the other app, in that it got released and users can use it, the magic I felt that first time just wasn't duplicated. And ever since then, Ive been struggling to believe I could ever feel that again. Even if I enjoy things now, the volume is turned down.
    The volume being "turned down" is your own resistance muting the desire. It's because you've not yet figured out how to do the vibrational work to let go of the resistance that was there all the time.

    Quote Originally Posted by coolwaters View Post
    I try to remember those feelings I have and I try to get my mind to feel them again, and theres a threshold I don't get past. I feel like its a barrier to protect myself so that I don't let myself trust in this again only to feel let down.
    Right. That's your resistance.
    Quote Originally Posted by coolwaters View Post
    So when I think of jobs and career, I think of that first side project and staying up day and night working on it with unlimited energy and excitement.
    But that's not all that's there. You wrote about it -- you had an entire career that you "hated" and you didn't realize that all of that stuff was still in your vibration.
    Quote Originally Posted by coolwaters View Post
    I can't "feel" that emotion and high state of being now, but I remember feeling it as a concept. Like I can remember all of the instances of that situation as though Im watching myself in a movie, but I don't reproduce that emotional state in my existence in the NOW.
    Right, you're aware of all the stuff you don't like that keeps you from reaching for the pieces you DO like. That's what I'm talking about. You can FEEL all that resistance there.
    Quote Originally Posted by coolwaters View Post
    It feels like if I was able to get a job that allowed me to have the same responsibilities I had with that first side project, it would be sufficient for me. Now my priority has shifted from "creating something out of my own idea" to being secure and independent, which is fine I think. But in the same way I was riding this high 3 years ago, it's been 2 straight years of the opposite end of the scale and I just feel less innocent in a way…less child-like and "awe filled", less open to the idea that "anything can happen", older…maybe "wiser" in a way, but just less trusting in all of this now and less willing to give over to complete faith and surrender.
    Can you see why despite how you talk about how you really want a job right now, there's a big part of you that's incredibly gun shy and preferring to stay right where you are?
    Quote Originally Posted by coolwaters View Post
    I know that words matter and I shouldn't be beating the drum of what was and I should choose words that don't, so I'll only write the history this one time to help give some context since you asked about my true beliefs regarding a career and work.
    That's just it -- whether you write the words or not, that's the vibration you're offering. You've just laid out the contradiction that you're using to keep yourself from having what you say you want. That's the thing that has to change before the conditions are going to change. You're not going to get conditions to "fix" this for you, it's up to you to start SOOTHING all the resistance that's there, even if it's bit by bit.
    Quote Originally Posted by coolwaters View Post
    That experience is whats stopping me from giving over to surrender, because the crash and burn from the elation of the vortex down to major depression and seemingly everything else collapsing in my life was too much to bear and its easier to just accept "this" consistently lower end of the scale than to "believe" again if it means crashing and burning again
    Here's the thing - we're not suggesting that you leap out of an airplane without a parachute in the way you're suggesting. We're really recommending the opposite -- do the work to make PEACE with where you are. Soothe yourself bit by bit, step by step, and CERTAINLY ABOUT THIS ISSUE THAT YOU'VE BEEN USING TO TEAR YOURSELF APART. As you teach yourself that where you are isn't quite so bad, that you can find RELIEF from the discord that you assumed was about the lack of conditions, then you take away what stops what you really want from coming.

  2. #112
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    So a question: In getting laid off, what was the work that I could have done differently. I mistook the getting laid off as the LOA bringing me what I truly desired: a way to work on the side project full time without being distracted by something that I did not prefer.

    How does contempt for a job lead to a side project that i relished lead to getting laid off from the job I disliked lead to more excitement and ultimately crash and burn. At the point I got laid off, there was nothing left to soothe over from the job because it was no longer in my experience. Before that happened, I could have but not after. And after getting laid off I felt relief, not fear. I felt even more aligned and convinced this was the LOA telling me to keep going. How was focusing on what made me happy not enough to buck the lesser powerful feeling of job dislike that fleeted when I got laid off.

    Its not that this is difficult, but it feels way too delicate for me. How hating a job that removed itself from my existence lingered when it was no longer in my experience to soothe over and then bled into a life experience that had me in the vortex is just too fine-tuned for me to comprehend and envision being able to successfully apply

  3. #113
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    Quote Originally Posted by Marc View Post
    Can you see why despite how you talk about how you really want a job right now, there's a big part of you that's incredibly gun shy and preferring to stay right where you are?
    I got an email a few hrs ago asking me on an interview and I spent my shower thinking about whether I am just scared to even get excited for it bec of the feeling of letdown if I don't get it or if I don't actually want it. I think it leans toward not actually wanting it bec it just bores me. And then I read your reply and saw you pointed out what I was just asking myself.

  4. #114
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    Quote Originally Posted by coolwaters View Post
    So a question: In getting laid off, what was the work that I could have done differently.
    The work was to FEEL BETTER about the topic of career. The job you HATED was an indicator of your vibration in the same way that the gas gauge of a car indicates that the tank is almost out of gas. Until you fill the tank, the gas gauge is going to remain on empty.
    Quote Originally Posted by coolwaters View Post
    I mistook the getting laid off as the LOA bringing me what I truly desired: a way to work on the side project full time without being distracted by something that I did not prefer.
    Indeed you did. Now that's okay, virtually everyone on this planet mistakenly thinks that conditions CAUSE the way they feel when it's the reverse. Because you thought it was the CONDITIONS that were the source of your discord rather than the product, you mistakenly thought that removing the conditions would be the solution, but it wasn't. After all, you're not in that job and you still hate where you are, so the job couldn't have been the source of your discord because you're not in that job anymore.

    Quote Originally Posted by coolwaters View Post
    How does contempt for a job lead to a side project that i relished lead to getting laid off from the job I disliked lead to more excitement and ultimately crash and burn.
    Easily. Your contempt for where you were launched a powerful rocket of desire for improvement, which was strong enough to dominate your vibration for a time. The resistance in your vibration that resulted in the job you hated didn't disappear, however. Eventually, that resistance had to show up in your experience again, which it did. You've been doing the things you do that resulted in the job you hate this whole time, which is why you're in an equivalent place.
    Quote Originally Posted by coolwaters View Post
    At the point I got laid off, there was nothing left to soothe over from the job because it was no longer in my experience.
    Of course there was. As I explained, because the job you hated was not the SOURCE of your negative emotion, it was the PRODUCT, changing the conditions didn't change your habits of thought that have been there all along.
    Quote Originally Posted by coolwaters View Post
    Before that happened, I could have but not after.
    Sure you could have. You could do work on it NOW, if you wanted (and that wouldn't be a bad idea at all!). Again, your vibration didn't change just because you were removed from that particular set of conditions. Your vibration never depends on the conditions in the way you think it does.
    Quote Originally Posted by coolwaters View Post
    And after getting laid off I felt relief, not fear. I felt even more aligned and convinced this was the LOA telling me to keep going. How was focusing on what made me happy not enough to buck the lesser powerful feeling of job dislike that fleeted when I got laid off.
    Sure, you felt relief because this thing you say you HATED was no longer in your face, and it's certainly the case that your time at that particular job ended. Nevertheless, the job was never the SOURCE of the way you felt. The thoughts/perspectives/vibration that produced that job in the first place (and that you're still offering NOW) never changed. That's why you still feel the way you do.
    Quote Originally Posted by coolwaters View Post
    Its not that this is difficult, but it feels way too delicate for me.
    \_(ツ)_/
    Quote Originally Posted by coolwaters View Post
    How hating a job that removed itself from my existence lingered when it was no longer in my experience to soothe over and then bled into a life experience that had me in the vortex is just too fine-tuned for me to comprehend and envision being able to successfully apply
    Again, because the job you hated was never the SOURCE of the negative emotion in the first place. It's always been about you and your habits of thought (also called BELIEFS) that made you a match for that job in the first place. It's logical that if you do something that produces something unpleasant and you keep doing it, that it's going to keep producing something unpleasant, is it not? If you take a dump on the floor in one room and then leave the room because you're so unhappy with the room you're in (because there's a big dump in the middle of the room), and then you go into another room you really like and take another dump on the floor, is that REALLY that too "fine-tuned" for you to understand? Of course not. The only reason it seems "fine-tuned" is because you haven't really accepted that manifestations are the PRODUCT of your vibration/feelings rather than the cause. I get that. That won't really change until you manage to feel differently about something in your life and watch as conditions shift to reflect the improvement in the way you feel.

    Let's start in a different place. Why do you experience negative emotion in the first place? It's because you and your IB are focused on the same thing and you're offering a very different perspective that the one your IB is offering. So when you were in the job you didn't like and noticing all the things you didn't like about it and feeling the discord of that, it's because your IB was seeing things very differently about that job. So all of the conclusions you made about why that job "wasn't a good fit" didn't change because you left that job. In particular, your conclusion that you need things to be "just so" in order to feel good keeps following you no matter where you go. That's why you keep running into it over and over, whether it's about jobs, where you live, etc. Because there's a mix of wanted and unwanted things no matter where you go, when how you feel depends on things being a "good fit," you're in a real pickle because you're never going to find a place that's a good enough fit to satisfy you completely.

    That's your story about everything we've been talking about. Even when you're talking about the project you loved and how much you enjoyed it, ultimately your answer was, "But nothing came of it." So as long as you keep doing that, you're absolutely right to feel like the volume has been "turned down." Nothing is going to overcome things being "not enough." You've got to find a way to GENUINELY feel better about things even though they're "not a good fit," because that's where your real satisfaction comes from.

    Quote Originally Posted by coolwaters View Post
    I got an email a few hrs ago asking me on an interview and I spent my shower thinking about whether I am just scared to even get excited for it bec of the feeling of letdown if I don't get it or if I don't actually want it. I think it leans toward not actually wanting it bec it just bores me. And then I read your reply and saw you pointed out what I was just asking myself.
    Bingo. And that's why you haven't gotten a new job yet. You're saying to LOA, "Please bring me this thing I really don't want, RIGHT NOW." That's one of the vibrational contradictions that keep you where you are. Basically, this is just your entire story on jobs/career on a small scale. Doesn't that make sense? Manifestations are simply our beliefs/expectations playing out before us.

  5. #115
    Eostre's Avatar
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    So much good material in this thread! Thank you, coolwaters, for sharing!

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