Page 4 of 13 FirstFirst 123456789 ... LastLast
Results 31 to 40 of 129

Thread: Advice needed: One job rejection today, still waiting to hear back from another.

  1. #31
    Super Moderator Hands in the Clay's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2010
    Location
    The Perfume Vortex of the World, France
    Posts
    5,875
    Just a drive-by, coolwaters, while you digest all the input.

    You talk about how consistently you applied the Teachings and were flying high, but your language in your posts belies that completely. You were perhaps psyched up at the prospect of getting what you want, but your foundation, your fundamental "negative-emotion detector and shifter" isn't "on," at least not in this discussion. Your posts here are What-Isitis-rich. In other words, you're "blathering," "blundering into your day," as Abe would say, making no effort to curtail, tweak, edit, or shift your negative perceptions of things as they happen, letting that "offness" warning bell go on ringing at a deafening volume and ignoring it. That's not "well-trained in practicing the Teachings," because once you're well-trained, you don't LET yourself blather stuff like that. "It's the facts, it's the truth, that's the way it is...", but someone well-trained in the Teachings can at least FEEL inside how "off" that is (whether or not you acknowledge that awareness in what you write), and truly believes and embraces the fact that they create their own reality. You're saying, "I did what I was supposed to, and it turned out wrong, so I don't believe anymore." But you never believed, or you wouldn't say that.

    I know you're stinging from the "failure" (as you perceive it) and are caught up in the momentum of that negative emotion, but you're not even lifting a finger to minimize hyperbole or take a step back from things (like Marc's observation of your calling your life "boring" - which is ONLY a judgment, and a relative perception, based on your own THOUGHTS).

    I'm not trying to kick you while you're down, but want to say it's worth looking at your real motivations, cuz you're truly not there yet. You want a certain thing to feel better, to feel worthy, and as long as you're coming mostly from that perspective, you're dragging your don't-have-it-vibe along with you.

    PS: I suggested Googling and reading the PASSAGE from the Bach book online, didn't say to get the whole book (though it's a good one and was one of Jerry's faves -he was so excited when he found it that he called Esther and read the whole thing to her over the phone).

  2. #32
    Super Kitty Marc's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2008
    Location
    Tempe, Arizona, USA
    Posts
    9,458
    Sometimes people are afraid that LOA is going to treat them the way their parents did when they were a child. In other words, "If I ease up and find a way to feel better about where I am, I'm going to get stuck with where I am instead of getting what I want." So that's why we sometimes give some very basic, tantrum-like responses like, "This is the best I can do" and "I guess I'm going to lead a boring, uneventful life until I croak." It really is that sort of child-like freaking out that we've all tried to use with our parents to try to strong arm them into giving up the goods. That brings up two important points: First, as I've already mentioned, you're never going to strong arm LOA into giving up the goods. It simply can't do it. It's got to give you exactly what you're vibrating no matter how needy a case you plead. The flip side is the second point: If/when you're finally willing to feel better about something, it HAS to improve it for you. That scenario of, "I'm just going to be stuck being happy in this boring, uneventful life" can't happen. LOA isn't going to ignore you and go on to other people because you're no longer making a ruckus. As soon as you're willing to chill out and feel a little BETTER about something, it has to change. The sticking point is that it has to be genuine. You can't be doing it just to get what you want, you have to really feel better with it as it actually is. That's just how things work. If you're honest with yourself, you KNOW you haven't done that in the way HitC, I and Abraham mean about all of this. LOA confirms that, which is why your experience these past few months has felt repetitive and boring. What you think, how you feel and what matches is ALWAYS a perfect match. It's like you're staring at your reflection in the mirror wondering when your reflection is going to change its expression. It's EXACTLY like that because everything in this physical experience is a mirror to your vibration. Your expression in the mirror can't change before you change yours, and your experience can't change until how you feel changes. When you're finally willing to feel even a tiny bit better about any topic being what it is, you'll FEEL BETTER, and then you'll see that what Abraham is teaching is exactly how things work.

  3. #33
    coolwaters's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
    Location
    in my place
    Posts
    161
    Ugh. I was going to reply with quotes but both of you hit upon my challenge. It's not for lack of "trying" or "effort". I want to "feel happy" I do…I have what feels like a "block" that the ego portion of my mind refuses to break down. Like you stated, it's completely tied in with the fear of "accepting this will create the perpetual state of this and I'm not happy at the prospect of living in this state perpetually". I want to break free of it, I just feel this block within me that has not budged and let my guard completely down. How's it possible for an ego/strong mind to convince themselves that the LOA will attract negative, as opposed to positive things into someone's life? (i ask that rhetorically). It's all my upbringing man. I can't change my past or my family but it's so goddamn engrained in me that my parents struggled their whole lives and are still dealing with the same problems they always did, financial etc. They hate their lives. I don't want to be that way and yet Ive built up this strong belief that if I accept my place I will be like them because observing this family is watching time stand still where the same issues linger and linger. I work on accepting and can only get so far until the block comes in. Boring = OK I can realistically feel that emotion. Contentment: Ego kicks in and says Are you crazy? You want so much more for your life and so many dreams, you can't possibly "welcome" this situation. Your parents are stuck completely, you're watching yourself get stuck now too..

    Heres a real life example…i met someone today for lunch in the city who is in the career that I want. We spoke. I was left feeling confident that I am even more qualified than he was to do that job. Then I catch a bus home and it turns negative- Im not looking at the positive side of this experience showing me that Im clearly qualified for the career and this gave me more confidence or insight… Im feeling annoyed at the fact Im on a bus heading back somewhere I don't want go back to from some place I want to remain. Then my brain goes from annoyed to angry and i think "this is bullshit, i am qualified and yet he catches a lucky break and here i am going home when I'm more talented and deserving". And I sit here longing to be laughing with friends at happy hour instead of sitting here alone. Do i tell myself "at least i have heat in the house" "at least i have a place to sit down" "at least i have a laptop" that doesnt soothe me. let me look at who is doing worse than me and feel some sort of relief there- AHHH everyone in my mental rolodex is wealthy, established, and seem to have it better so I don't want to focus on that route either. I want to move up the scale, but back to feeling like I "should" be mad now. Dang. I've re-entered the cycle Haha. That's a firsthand look at the usual scenario that just occurred in real-time with a reaction that I want to have better control over and be able to shift to positive emotions.

    So I was away all day today but I'll re-read this a few times and use the weekend to read Hitc's recommendations and go read through the money&LOA thread. For all of the effort I put into things in my life, it's frustrating to feel like I'm doing "this" in a self-defeating way and somehow can't apply it properly.

  4. #34
    coolwaters's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
    Location
    in my place
    Posts
    161
    just another update. I've softened my state a bit. back to boring/its fine, whatever. heh.
    recalling another thing mentioned by the guy i met up with - he told me that he spent 6 months hounding a place for a job which made me feel like this a bit more norm for other people as well with regard to time it might take to land something. is there something wrong with having a desire for it to not take that long though?

  5. #35
    Super Kitty Marc's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2008
    Location
    Tempe, Arizona, USA
    Posts
    9,458
    Quote Originally Posted by coolwaters View Post
    Ugh. I was going to reply with quotes but both of you hit upon my challenge.
    We both hit on it because we've both experienced the same thing. Virtually everyone who's worked with LOA successfully understands what you're going through. That's why we're telling you what we're telling you
    Quote Originally Posted by coolwaters View Post
    It's not for lack of "trying" or "effort". I want to "feel happy" I do…I have what feels like a "block" that the ego portion of my mind refuses to break down. Like you stated, it's completely tied in with the fear of "accepting this will create the perpetual state of this and I'm not happy at the prospect of living in this state perpetually". I want to break free of it, I just feel this block within me that has not budged and let my guard completely down.
    That's the point we're trying to get across. You're not going to "let your guard completely down" and you're not going to suddenly jump all the way to being "happy." LOA won't let you do that, and trying to do it is what's keeps you stuck. Let me say this again simply and clearly (and I'll even bold, underline, italicize and capitalize it so you don't miss it): YOU DON'T HAVE TO FEEL "HAPPY" IN ORDER FOR THINGS TO IMPROVE. Your job is much, much, much easier than that.

    In the movie Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade, there's a scene where Indy is standing at this gorge and he's got to get across to the other side in order to get the Holy Grail in time to save his father's life. The problem is that there's no visible way to cross it and he's got to take a leap of faith, which of course is frightening because it looks like he will likely plummet to his death because no one can make the sort of leap he's supposed to make. The good news is: NO ONE IS ASKING YOU TO MAKE A LEAP LIKE THAT. In fact, you CAN'T make a leap like that. All you have to do is just inch forward a little and see what happens. It's just like everything significant you've ever learned in your life. You do a little bit, practice until you get better at it, then you move on to something more.

    Quote Originally Posted by coolwaters View Post
    How's it possible for an ego/strong mind to convince themselves that the LOA will attract negative, as opposed to positive things into someone's life? (i ask that rhetorically).
    Well, let's talk about that. LOA CAN attract unwanted things into your experience. You're doing that NOW. So it's not as if you are irrational in thinking that LOA can't bring you things that appear like they're not what you want. (There's a bigger issue that contrast is ALWAYS helpful, but let's set that aside for now.) It's understandable that you don't yet trust it to bring you something OTHER than the unwanted things you're used to it bringing you.
    Quote Originally Posted by coolwaters View Post
    It's all my upbringing man. I can't change my past or my family but it's so goddamn engrained in me that my parents struggled their whole lives and are still dealing with the same problems they always did, financial etc. They hate their lives. I don't want to be that way and yet Ive built up this strong belief that if I accept my place I will be like them because observing this family is watching time stand still where the same issues linger and linger. I work on accepting and can only get so far until the block comes in. Boring = OK I can realistically feel that emotion. Contentment: Ego kicks in and says Are you crazy? You want so much more for your life and so many dreams, you can't possibly "welcome" this situation. Your parents are stuck completely, you're watching yourself get stuck now too..
    Here's more good news: None of that really means anything. It's really not relevant. You are where you are and they are where they are and all of that's fine, even if none of you like it. Here's the freedom that Abraham (and we) are trying to get across to you: Are you judging yourself and your life in a way that doesn't feel good? Yes. Are you judging your parents and their lives in a way that doesn't feel good? Yes. Are you justified in the way you see things and feel about them? Sure. But the way you see things and feel about them isn't the only way to see and feel about them. You could cut yourself a little slack for being where you are. You could cut your experience a little slack for not living up to your expectations. But that's not all -- you could also cut your parents a little slack for being where they are and how they're dealing with things. None of the judgment you're describing feels good and you have the ability to soothe yourself out of it. Just because you're used to doing things a certain way doesn't mean you have to keep doing them that way. You were used to not walking and yet you learned how to walk. You were used to not talking, reading, writing, playing football, and plenty of other things and you learned how to do those things too. You didn't complain about your "upbringing" and how you didn't somehow already know how to do those things. Rather, you understood that where you were was just fine and you gradually made your way there step by step.
    Quote Originally Posted by coolwaters View Post
    Heres a real life example…i met someone today for lunch in the city who is in the career that I want. We spoke. I was left feeling confident that I am even more qualified than he was to do that job. Then I catch a bus home and it turns negative- Im not looking at the positive side of this experience showing me that Im clearly qualified for the career and this gave me more confidence or insight… Im feeling annoyed at the fact Im on a bus heading back somewhere I don't want go back to from some place I want to remain. Then my brain goes from annoyed to angry and i think "this is bullshit, i am qualified and yet he catches a lucky break and here i am going home when I'm more talented and deserving". And I sit here longing to be laughing with friends at happy hour instead of sitting here alone. Do i tell myself "at least i have heat in the house" "at least i have a place to sit down" "at least i have a laptop" that doesnt soothe me.
    It doesn't soothe you because trying to go from feeling like you can't have what you want to feeling "grateful" or "appreciating" what you have because that's too big of a vibrational jump. You're not going from "annoyed to angry," you're going from powerlessness to anger, which is why going from anger to appreciation is impossible. That doesn't mean there aren't feelings that will give you relief, you've just given up really early before you really make any progress. You could go from anger to revenge or anger to blame and it would feel like genuine RELIEF.
    Quote Originally Posted by coolwaters View Post
    let me look at who is doing worse than me and feel some sort of relief there- AHHH everyone in my mental rolodex is wealthy, established, and seem to have it better so I don't want to focus on that route either. I want to move up the scale, but back to feeling like I "should" be mad now. Dang. I've re-entered the cycle Haha. That's a firsthand look at the usual scenario that just occurred in real-time with a reaction that I want to have better control over and be able to shift to positive emotions.
    That's the issue -- you're stopping WAY before you're anywhere NEAR positive emotions. You keep reactivating the feeling of powerlessness, getting to anger and then never getting beyond that. The key is to start going from anger to something that feels BETTER, which isn't going to be "positive," just a little less negative.
    Quote Originally Posted by coolwaters View Post
    So I was away all day today but I'll re-read this a few times and use the weekend to read Hitc's recommendations and go read through the money&LOA thread. For all of the effort I put into things in my life, it's frustrating to feel like I'm doing "this" in a self-defeating way and somehow can't apply it properly.
    Well, you ARE doing it in a self-defeating way. You're trying to make big jumps when all you need to do is make little baby steps. Get out a copy of the EGS and look at what's around anger. You'll find emotions that feel better to you, it's just a matter of being willing to reach for them.
    Quote Originally Posted by coolwaters View Post
    just another update. I've softened my state a bit. back to boring/its fine, whatever. heh.
    Except that it's not really "fine." Your discord just isn't quite so "in your face" at the moment.
    Quote Originally Posted by coolwaters View Post
    recalling another thing mentioned by the guy i met up with - he told me that he spent 6 months hounding a place for a job which made me feel like this a bit more norm for other people as well with regard to time it might take to land something. is there something wrong with having a desire for it to not take that long though?
    Is there something WRONG with it? Of course not. Is it necessary to wait that long? Of course not. That doesn't mean there's something WRONG with it, though. But here's the thing -- you don't need to wait 6 months in order for a condition to change before you'll feel better. (Because if that's all there was to it, you'd be living a different experience already, wouldn't you?) You have the ability to feel BETTER right away. You may not be able to feel GOOD right away, but there's plenty of RELIEF that's within reach.

  6. #36
    coolwaters's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
    Location
    in my place
    Posts
    161
    Tried to create this in an effort to better understand my thinking and how you guys would get past this in a more empowering and productive way. These are the issues and my thinking processes that have been repeating in a sort of cycle.
    Journal:

    Powerlessness: No matter what I attempt to do, the universe will sabotage my efforts and keep my here just like my parents got stuck.
    Jealousy: Screw every single one of my friends who think that they are better than me, they took no risks in life and were born into wealth and are weak.
    Hatred/Rage: I ****ing hate this house because it symbolizes no progress and misery. I f'n hate almost every rich pampered little shit that I ever went to school with and their f'n baby pictures on Facebook like their lives are so perfect. Go get hit by a car. I want them to contract an illness and see how strong and positive they really are when life isn't being handed to them.
    Revenge: I want to punch everyone who looks down on me in their smug face bec if it wasn't for their privilege, they wouldn't have the skills or will to make it in the world.
    Anger: I f'n hate where I'm at right now this really sucks, my life sucks
    Discouragement: How did I get here…why did I make such silly choices that led me down here. I should have never moved I would have had so much more money. I keep making stupid decisions.
    Blame: Thanks mom and dad for the student loan debt I inherited which shaped a lot of my decisions and made me rush into a career I didnt like before I could explore what I liked without having compounded interest.
    Worry: Dude what if I don't find a job in like a year….
    Doubt: There are so many applicants fighting for the same job, I thought I stood out but maybe I really don't…
    Disappointment: I really put so much effort into this. I've done awesome things and taught myself everything. I was a naturally good leader, people really liked working with me developing my ideas into a mobile app, why can't hiring managers see that?
    Overwhelment: How am I going to pay the bills again, this month has flown by what the hell am I going to do, How am I going to ever go out with friends again, I can't deal with this…
    Frustration/Impatience: I have been at this for an entire month now and I'm not getting anywhere. This is bullshit man, I want to start a life, I just want to pay my bills next month and be able to breath, why is it taking so long to get a f'n interview and get my life started? It's almost summer I love winter, I want to wear these old sweaters I bought to a damn office already...
    Pessimism: Shit man. There are like no new job postings to apply to. I'll keep reaching out to people, some are nice enough to reply but I doubt it will lead anywhere.
    Boredom: Well I reached out to a lot of people and some got back to me. So there's that. Sitting here in front of this laptop on a Friday night, I would rather be doing something exciting with people. Guess I'll go watch Tv…great.

    Cycle back around

  7. #37
    Super Kitty Marc's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2008
    Location
    Tempe, Arizona, USA
    Posts
    9,458
    Quote Originally Posted by coolwaters View Post
    Tried to create this in an effort to better understand my thinking and how you guys would get past this in a more empowering and productive way. These are the issues and my thinking processes that have been repeating in a sort of cycle.
    Journal:

    This is really helpful because it allows us to show you the difference between what you're doing and we're talking about and why things aren't changing.

    First: So when talk about the EGS and moving up it, we don't mean start at the bottom and find different things that fit each step. Rather, it's start wherever you are, with whatever subject you're talking about, and then reach for something around it that feels a little bit better. If you'll notice what you're doing is you're bouncing around from subject to subject to subject. Now you might be accurate that you feel a particular emotion about a specific subject, and when you change subjects, you're able to find another subject that fits an emotion a step up. That doesn't help you because how you feel about each subject basically stays the same. If you'll notice what you wrote, you're really bringing up a number of different subjects. You've got how you feel about your parents, how you feel about others who have more than you, your financial situation, how you feel about where you live, how you feel about this LOA stuff and how the world works. Those are all different subjects and you've got different vibrations about each of them.
    So when you write:
    Quote Originally Posted by coolwaters View Post
    Powerlessness: No matter what I attempt to do, the universe will sabotage my efforts and keep my here just like my parents got stuck.

    and then you make your way to:
    Quote Originally Posted by coolwaters View Post
    Boredom: Well I reached out to a lot of people and some got back to me. So there's that. Sitting here in front of this laptop on a Friday night, I would rather be doing something exciting with people. Guess I'll go watch Tv…great.

    you're actually talking about two completely different things. You haven't gotten any vibrational movement on that first subject, you've just danced around until you found a topic that's a little less thorny. To be fair, there were a couple of places where you stayed on the same topic for a couple of steps before you bounced to something else, but for the most part, the way you feel about each subject is pretty much the same.

    So if you were actually going to move up the EGS on a single subject, it might look like this:
    Powerlessness: No matter what I attempt to do, the universe will sabotage my efforts and keep my here just like my parents got stuck.
    Anger: I've been trying this LOA stuff and Abraham and all those people on the Forum are all full of crap. None of it works, I've wasted a lot of time already and nothing's changed.
    Blame: It's not my fault that this LOA stuff isn't working for me. If Abraham and those others were any good, they'd be able to present it in a way that makes sense. People keep saying "feel better" as if it makes sense what I'm supposed to do. This whole Universe is crap, it should bring me what I want already.
    Doubt: I don't know if there's anything out there that works. Even if there is, I don't know if I'm going to be able to figure out how to use it to my advantage.
    Worry: What if this is it? What if there really isn't anything out there that works? What if there's just no way for me to get what I want? What if I'm doomed to feel crappy forever?
    Disappointment: It sucks that I'm not able to figure this out. Maybe I'd have been better off if I had never gotten the idea that things could be different.
    Overwhelm: There's so much in my life that needs to change and I don't even know where to start, assuming that it's even possible.
    Frustration: Maybe I'm getting a glimmer that things can get better, but it's just not happening fast enough.
    Pessimism: I'm just not going to be able to figure all of this out.
    Contentment: Maybe it's okay that I'm not going to figure all of this out. If it's impossible to figure it all out, I guess I can relax. It kind of feels good to think that where I am isn't so bad.
    Hope: I'm starting to get some of this. I think that maybe things are starting to sort themselves out.


    Okay, I stopped at Hope because once you get there, now you've done all the hard work. Now can you see how this is VERY different from what you're describing to us? Rather than finding different subjects that fit the scale, it's about starting where you are and gradually changing your perspective on the topic so that there's less and less resistance. Now maybe what I wrote allowed you to feel better, maybe it didn't -- I don't have any way of knowing whether it felt better to you, but hopefully it will give you a better idea of what we're talking about.

    A second, really important thing to bring up -- the goal isn't to get to the top of the scale as quickly as you can. Rather, you're wanting to practice feeling better until it's easy, and over time make your way until it's easy to sustain feeling better. As you've played football, I assume you've been to a gym and worked with weights, or at least have a general idea of how that works. You know that your goal isn't to take the heaviest weight you can find and lift it with all your might so you can be done with it. Rather, you start with where you are and you choose a weight that's just a little heavier than you can handle and you practice with it until it's not a challenge. Then you move to something that's a little heavier than you're used to, and so on. Over time, you're able to deal with more and more and your fitness improves. We're talking about the same sort of process here.

    Does that give you some guidance as to what's been going on and how you can apply things in a way that will allow you to feel better?


  8. #38
    Super Moderator Hands in the Clay's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2010
    Location
    The Perfume Vortex of the World, France
    Posts
    5,875
    Another quick visit to say:

    1) Excellent. Excellent for you. Getting some stuff down and giving us real material to work with to guide you. Marc's "reorganization" of your thoughts will hopefully trigger a "ding-ding-ding" inside you. If you're not rereading it now, grab, kiss, and open Astonishing Power of Emotions for more delicious examples of that kind of work you just did.

    2) Yeah, this is "simple but not easy." We UNDERSTAND where you are. It takes a LEAP OF FAITH INTO THE QUANTUM WORLD and SWALLOWING THE "BITTER" PILL THAT YOUR BELIEFS ARE NOT "TRUTHS" - THEY'RE JUST THOUGHTS THAT YOU KEEP THINKING, and that those THOUGHTS are what turn the wheels of your reality. That's HUGE!!! Do you realize how huge that is? How "outside the boundaries of human thought" that is? That's why it's called the "leading edge." And there's a BIG difference between talking about it and actually letting go and practicing it, without champing at the bit for these "techniques" to hurry up and make a particular dream come true. And, you know, not a lot of folks are actually able to make that leap - What-Is is and "life happens to you while you're making other plans" are so seductive and safe. That's why it's so helpful to read other material, from smart, sane people, that BOLSTER this new view (I'm happy to send you a reading list, if I haven't already done so).

    3) You are a SMART COOKIE. If you can set aside your aching desire to achieve this particular thing for JUST A WHILE, and focus on getting a handle on these practices on SMALL things (cranky cashiers, late trains, the store being out of your favorite cheese, noisy neighbors), those new skills (deliberate and "on the fly" practice of these techniques) will easily transpose to larger things, and you'll be on your way. This is FACT. This is REAL. This is HOW THINGS WORK. It's not a magic trick. It's like learning how to build a house properly. Yeah, some may whip together a plywood shack, but it's gonna come down on their heads when there's a strong wind. You want to learn how to make the bricks right, mix the cement right, place the foundation, build solidly. Then you've got the reins of your life in your hands (excuse the mixed metaphors).

    4) Remember that PERCENTAGES MATTER. Air time matters. Every small amount of work you do on your vibration on ANY subject dilutes your overall negative vibrational average, which shifts your overall vibrational setpoint. Yeah, there'll be some "sticky" ones, but vibe work is vibe work and doing it at all is better than doing it not at all. It impacts your health, mood, and to what degree the world rolls out the red carpet for you - maybe it'll change from a black carpet to a gray one, then gray to green, then green to blue to purple to violet... to red. But set aside your Great Big Objective FOR A SHORT WHILE and make your objective learning how to really do this so you feeeeeeel it, and then you'll see enough small results with the cashier and the trains and the neighbors that you will allow this "wound" to "heal" and find some confidence and move forward "gradually but quickly."

    5) You and Marc have got a good dynamic going here, so I'm going to minimize muddying the vibrational waters, cuz it's distracting to have to respond to multiple interlocutors, but I'll be hanging around, happy to pitch in if you wish.

    ETA: STOP LISTENING TO MUGGLES. OK?? STOP using other people's experiences to define what is and is not possible for you. It's bullshit, OK? Everyone has their beliefs that define their reality, some got easy ones, some developed less easy ones. I have two siblings who struggle to find consistent work and have a million reasons why that's "true" and "real" (it's the market, it's the economic climate in such and such a country, it's the political landscape, it's oil prices, it's my lack of certification, it's the CEO's relationship with my former employer, it's my age....), yet I've been in a growth cycle since 2009, when the "crisis" was consuming Europe, in a career I have no training for (I started my Abe work in late 2009). It's never taken me more than 24 hours to find a job my entire life (because I had success the first time at age 16 and that instilled a belief). STOP believing that other people's realities define your experience. YOU are the MOLDER of YOUR timespace clay. Stop talking to others about reality. It does not serve you. When your vibe improves, you'll have better encounters that bolster your confidence, but in the meantime, start keeping your cards close, close, close to your vest and plug your ears when reality is being broadcast around you (until you get into the habit of ignoring it). As Abe say, "There are those who struggle in the best of times, and those who thrive in the worst of times." YOU make your rules (like all great entrepreneurs). Take back your power.

  9. #39
    coolwaters's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
    Location
    in my place
    Posts
    161
    Quote Originally Posted by Marc View Post
    [/B]This is really helpful because it allows us to show you the difference between what you're doing and we're talking about and why things aren't changing.

    First: So when talk about the EGS and moving up it, we don't mean start at the bottom and find different things that fit each step. Rather, it's start wherever you are, with whatever subject you're talking about, and then reach for something around it that feels a little bit better. If you'll notice what you're doing is you're bouncing around from subject to subject to subject. Now you might be accurate that you feel a particular emotion about a specific subject, and when you change subjects, you're able to find another subject that fits an emotion a step up. That doesn't help you because how you feel about each subject basically stays the same. If you'll notice what you wrote, you're really bringing up a number of different subjects. You've got how you feel about your parents, how you feel about others who have more than you, your financial situation, how you feel about where you live, how you feel about this LOA stuff and how the world works. Those are all different subjects and you've got different vibrations about each of them.
    So when you write:
    [/COLOR]
    and then you make your way to:
    [/COLOR]
    you're actually talking about two completely different things. You haven't gotten any vibrational movement on that first subject, you've just danced around until you found a topic that's a little less thorny. To be fair, there were a couple of places where you stayed on the same topic for a couple of steps before you bounced to something else, but for the most part, the way you feel about each subject is pretty much the same.

    So if you were actually going to move up the EGS on a single subject, it might look like this:
    Powerlessness: No matter what I attempt to do, the universe will sabotage my efforts and keep my here just like my parents got stuck.
    Anger: I've been trying this LOA stuff and Abraham and all those people on the Forum are all full of crap. None of it works, I've wasted a lot of time already and nothing's changed.
    Blame: It's not my fault that this LOA stuff isn't working for me. If Abraham and those others were any good, they'd be able to present it in a way that makes sense. People keep saying "feel better" as if it makes sense what I'm supposed to do. This whole Universe is crap, it should bring me what I want already.
    Doubt: I don't know if there's anything out there that works. Even if there is, I don't know if I'm going to be able to figure out how to use it to my advantage.
    Worry: What if this is it? What if there really isn't anything out there that works? What if there's just no way for me to get what I want? What if I'm doomed to feel crappy forever?
    Disappointment: It sucks that I'm not able to figure this out. Maybe I'd have been better off if I had never gotten the idea that things could be different.
    Overwhelm: There's so much in my life that needs to change and I don't even know where to start, assuming that it's even possible.
    Frustration: Maybe I'm getting a glimmer that things can get better, but it's just not happening fast enough.
    Pessimism: I'm just not going to be able to figure all of this out.
    Contentment: Maybe it's okay that I'm not going to figure all of this out. If it's impossible to figure it all out, I guess I can relax. It kind of feels good to think that where I am isn't so bad.
    Hope: I'm starting to get some of this. I think that maybe things are starting to sort themselves out.


    Okay, I stopped at Hope because once you get there, now you've done all the hard work. Now can you see how this is VERY different from what you're describing to us? Rather than finding different subjects that fit the scale, it's about starting where you are and gradually changing your perspective on the topic so that there's less and less resistance. Now maybe what I wrote allowed you to feel better, maybe it didn't -- I don't have any way of knowing whether it felt better to you, but hopefully it will give you a better idea of what we're talking about.

    A second, really important thing to bring up -- the goal isn't to get to the top of the scale as quickly as you can. Rather, you're wanting to practice feeling better until it's easy, and over time make your way until it's easy to sustain feeling better. As you've played football, I assume you've been to a gym and worked with weights, or at least have a general idea of how that works. You know that your goal isn't to take the heaviest weight you can find and lift it with all your might so you can be done with it. Rather, you start with where you are and you choose a weight that's just a little heavier than you can handle and you practice with it until it's not a challenge. Then you move to something that's a little heavier than you're used to, and so on. Over time, you're able to deal with more and more and your fitness improves. We're talking about the same sort of process here.

    Does that give you some guidance as to what's been going on and how you can apply things in a way that will allow you to feel better?

    holy crap you're right, i couldn't see how i was merely pivoting from one subject that makes me feel powerless to another subject that makes me feel pessimistic or whatever "higher" emotion i vibrate on it, thinking i was doing the work to feel better. i had to read this 3 times to fully absorb what you were saying

    thats a lot of subjects to tackle :/
    i like this statement below, I've read it many times in this forum and in books relating to the writer's experience of giving up. this statement, this "relief" is the farthest leap for me. when i read this, before I'm even aware I'm thinking about anything, my brain screams "But its not okay if i don't figure it out. You can't relax! Work, think, get yourself out of it"
    Contentment: Maybe it's okay that I'm not going to figure all of this out. If it's impossible to figure it all out, I guess I can relax. It kind of feels good to think that where I am isn't so bad.

    To expand on your analogy, i injured a disk in my lower back over the summer and need to go to physical therapy. I've been prescribed physical therapy. i know that after the first day of therapy, I'm not walking out of the place pain-free and able to engage in strenuous activities immediately. Im aware it's a process of strengthening my core and overtime that will translate into less and less pain and more ease. There's no block there, its perfectly acceptable and "normal". Ive had the injury for like 8 months now before finally getting diagnosed so its been there for a while. Yet I believe, or rather "know", that physical therapy will help me and in time I'll be back to "normal". If I could just apply that mindset to these other subjects

  10. #40
    Super Kitty Marc's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2008
    Location
    Tempe, Arizona, USA
    Posts
    9,458
    Quote Originally Posted by coolwaters View Post
    holy crap you're right, i couldn't see how i was merely pivoting from one subject that makes me feel powerless to another subject that makes me feel pessimistic or whatever "higher" emotion i vibrate on it, thinking i was doing the work to feel better. i had to read this 3 times to fully absorb what you were saying

    thats a lot of subjects to tackle :/
    Perhaps, but regardless of which subject you work on, you'll feel BETTER. It's not something where you have to get it all done before you you can see the results, you get immediate emotional relief NOW.
    Quote Originally Posted by coolwaters View Post
    i like this statement below, I've read it many times in this forum and in books relating to the writer's experience of giving up. this statement, this "relief" is the farthest leap for me. when i read this, before I'm even aware I'm thinking about anything, my brain screams "But its not okay if i don't figure it out. You can't relax! Work, think, get yourself out of it"
    Contentment: Maybe it's okay that I'm not going to figure all of this out. If it's impossible to figure it all out, I guess I can relax. It kind of feels good to think that where I am isn't so bad.

    If you have your brain "screaming" in response to a statement, it means that the statement is too far a jump for you right now. That's fine, you only need to go for statements that still feel true but feel a little BETTER. Eventually, however, you'll reach the part where a statement of contentment isn't such a big leap for you.
    Quote Originally Posted by coolwaters View Post
    To expand on your analogy, i injured a disk in my lower back over the summer and need to go to physical therapy. I've been prescribed physical therapy. i know that after the first day of therapy, I'm not walking out of the place pain-free and able to engage in strenuous activities immediately. Im aware it's a process of strengthening my core and overtime that will translate into less and less pain and more ease. There's no block there, its perfectly acceptable and "normal". Ive had the injury for like 8 months now before finally getting diagnosed so its been there for a while. Yet I believe, or rather "know", that physical therapy will help me and in time I'll be back to "normal". If I could just apply that mindset to these other subjects
    That's a perfect example. You CAN apply that mindset to these other subjects.

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •