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Thread: Moving fowards: my new better feeling story

  1. #21
    I think I need to actually tell a new story about practising these teachings.
    Abraham tell us that humans are sloppy in their focus and that we just simply allow our focus to just, sort of, bounce around in response to whatever we observe. That is what I did today....which is sort of contrary to the whole point of this thread. Being more deliberate.
    Well today has simply been just that. I went to work. It was....erm....sort of ok....I told a new story about work over the last few days and now it doesn't seem like the most Horrible Place In the Entire Universe to work. And it was just very boring. But mainly because I wasn't determined enough to put enough energy into another vision of reality that hasn't yet manifested yet.
    And that is what I most want to soothe. I'm putting the cart before the horse here. At the end of the day, I still want that physical manifestation to change before I can actually feel better about those important topics.
    Some late night musings here.....




  2. #22
    Some better feeling thoughts about money

    Today I had some quite resistant thoughts on the topic of money. I feel uneasy about spending money and the way it goes out so easily. So I started poking around for thoughts that feel better:

    * It doesn't matter what I do, no matter how many hours I work, there is never, ever enough money in my life. It comes into my life so hard and goes out so quickly.

    ^feels really bad, feels absolute and off.

    * I have often had the experience of not having enough money to do what I want and I don't like it

    ^ worded slightly better....isolated experiences rather than something so permanent.

    The pennies don't play a role in my life like I would like them to. I have had the experience time and time again of not having the bucks and the pennies I would need to cover the expenses of things I want to do and have. I have often been very agitated about this ( still feeling very agitated and still "off")

    This situation that I keep re-experiencing really sucks (more general, feels better)

    I really really want it to be different and I'm still noticing it's the same ( frustrated and general)

    I really really want this thing that has really really been this way for such a long long time to be suddenly be different right NOW this minute !!!!!!!

    Funnily enough something clicked there. I essentially want this to be different right now before I can feel better. That's something I can soothe

    * Its not absolutely essential to my well being forever more if this thing that I want to be different suddenly and dramatically changed to what I want. It's not life or death if the situation doesn't right away change.

    ^ some relief felt there. Feels less immediate. Going to bask in this a bit more

    It is not that important that things dramatically turn around suddenly in this area....actually it would be rather unsettling....I don't need immediate access to unlimited abundance......I am where I am and it's not really that bad, it's average.

    ^ same....some relief. Still quite general.

    I am where I am....I'd like it if it was less struggle and much easier
    ^ hmmmm it still feels like struggle though

    Maybe there is a way forward for me, but I feel really cut off from it-I have no access to this path at all, and i kind of doubt there is one ( still general, but feels worse)

    Perhaps there is A way forward, but the path is nowhere near clear enough....it's fuzzy. Doesn't mean it's not there. But it's not clear and obvious enough right here and now
    (Slightly better)

    I am open to the slight possibility there could be one way forward at least.....there have been other times when I have enjoyed the clarity where solutions and ideas have presented themselves to me effotlessly where previously they had not been.....these experiences happened...they were quite shortlives but they happened... and it would be nice to experience then again.....even though that clarity was on different topics it could apply to this one topic
    ^ much better feeling some relief there, but the relief is a bit short-lived because it feels a bit insecire like I'm stretching a bit too far

    * I am where I am. This is my path. I have a relationship with money like every person on this planet. I have preferences and I want improvement. That is ok. It's ok that today it less than what I consider to be perfect.


















  3. #23
    Old story: my victimhood story:

    For most of my life I have practised being a victim. I have blamed everything and everyone for everything I think is wrong with my lufw . whether its work or relationships, money or whatever -I feel like someone or something has power over me.
    It just seems like things just happen to me throughout the day. Like things just happen and there are no laws governing anything. I am completely dependant on my parents,my employer, my wage slip, my....whatever. I feel powerless

    New story:
    My Untapped Power Story:

    I have have spent a great deal of my life practising something. I am really really good at practising and focusing.

    I have practised the THOUGHT of being a victim, of being unworthy, of being this or that....I have practised the thought of something or someone having power over me....but it is just A THOUGHT. I can move in the other direction.

    I can do this. I am doing it. Now I just want to get more momentum flowing more and more in the direction of my wanted. Like a child learning to rides bike I will fall off the bike. When I fall off the bike and revert back to the old patterns of thought, I haven't failed at all, its just part of the learning process.

    I've got this.....


  4. #24
    Super Moderator Hands in the Clay's Avatar
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    LW, I'm just bopping in here to say that you are MAKING PROGRESS.

    I may not post much, but I'm watching what's going on, and the vibration and awareness that emanates from this last post of yours (meaning from YOU) is vastly different from where you were in early days here.

    It may not feel "dramatic" to you in terms of physical change at this point, but vibrational change translates to physical change in time, and you feel better in the meantime (and, as we all learn eventually, feeling bad hasn't actually gotten you where you want to be, has it? It won't, ever - you can trust that now as an absolute fact).

    As is clearly explained in the MLOA CD that comes with the book, if you keep it up and you keep it up and you keep it up, you do actually make it from Phoenix to San Diego, by reaching for relief as often as you can, even if it's just going from fear to rage, or from anger to disappointment.

    Just as kids we rarely see seem to grow up very fast (but don't recognize that change themselves), someone who's persisting with the Teachings bit by bit can be radiating a very different vibration and not realize it, because it came about so gradually and they're so preoccupied with What-Is, or the novelty of the focused work. So I'm telling you: Your recent work is really honing in on things that will shift key elements of your vibration and you are getting your feet stable beneath you in this practice. You are clearly making vibrational progress - just keep doing that, and remember that feeling better is more than its own reward - it DOES result in change, just don't champ at the bit for that change to show up yet. Don't watch the pot to see if it's boiling. Let the Universe work its way in through the cracks and don't make assumptions about how it's going to do that. Keep the faith and just keep up the work and enjoy feeling better - life will take on different colors for you, AND you and the Universe will start flowing in the same direction, and you'll know it when you see it. In the meantime, just FEEL it.

    Listen to the YouTube clip with the exact title "Abraham-Hicks: Feel Good Now, It's Important!" - the text is also transcribed in this thread: http://www.abeforum.com/showthread.p...-feel-good-NOW

    You're DOING IT. Bravo.

  5. #25
    Quote Originally Posted by Hands in the Clay View Post
    LW, I'm just bopping in here to say that you are MAKING PROGRESS.

    I may not post much, but I'm watching what's going on, and the vibration and awareness that emanates from this last post of yours (meaning from YOU) is vastly different from where you were in early days here.

    It may not feel "dramatic" to you in terms of physical change at this point, but vibrational change translates to physical change in time, and you feel better in the meantime (and, as we all learn eventually, feeling bad hasn't actually gotten you where you want to be, has it? It won't, ever - you can trust that now as an absolute fact).

    As is clearly explained in the MLOA CD that comes with the book, if you keep it up and you keep it up and you keep it up, you do actually make it from Phoenix to San Diego, by reaching for relief as often as you can, even if it's just going from fear to rage, or from anger to disappointment.

    Just as kids we rarely see seem to grow up very fast (but don't recognize that change themselves), someone who's persisting with the Teachings bit by bit can be radiating a very different vibration and not realize it, because it came about so gradually and they're so preoccupied with What-Is, or the novelty of the focused work. So I'm telling you: Your recent work is really honing in on things that will shift key elements of your vibration and you are getting your feet stable beneath you in this practice. You are clearly making vibrational progress - just keep doing that, and remember that feeling better is more than its own reward - it DOES result in change, just don't champ at the bit for that change to show up yet. Don't watch the pot to see if it's boiling. Let the Universe work its way in through the cracks and don't make assumptions about how it's going to do that. Keep the faith and just keep up the work and enjoy feeling better - life will take on different colors for you, AND you and the Universe will start flowing in the same direction, and you'll know it when you see it. In the meantime, just FEEL it.

    Listen to the YouTube clip with the exact title "Abraham-Hicks: Feel Good Now, It's Important!" - the text is also transcribed in this thread: http://www.abeforum.com/showthread.p...-feel-good-NOW

    You're DOING IT. Bravo.
    Thank you for this Dear Purple One!

    Its good to get feedback from moderators and other forum members. Whilst we are singing praises I do appreciate your posts and your input. I have gotten a lot of mileage out of your change your story thread and out of the responses you gave to my old" getting older "thread.

    I have to say that going back over previous threads, I can see little bits of progress. Sometimes you don't really notice the difference because I'm so used to thinking of change as being like a quantum leap.
    But im starting to learn that its about little subtle changes and the baby steps....over time I've gone from being so utterly depressed and thinking that the world has ended because a woman had stopped messaging me.....to actually finding it laughable looking back over those posts and looking at how I felt back then, and now emotional state is feeling frustrated, irritable and pissy.....(.not over that previous topic but over another.)
    I don't put HFS,s on any of this either. Just open my little ol' notebook and start doing a Process 22 moving up the egs, focus wheel, finding a BFT etc.

    I'm not perfect (my IB would probably not come down and agree with my definition of perfection anyway ) I don't do the work perfectly, I have days where I don't practise the teachings.
    Hell even today I have had a few " FML " moments. But the useful thing about this forum is that I can look back over my previous threads and get a road map back to some better feeling thoughts.
    I like to stand around and bitch and moan and eat junk food and go out and have a few beers....I like that we are all human and we don't necessarily have to be "perfect" I am not anywhere near the vicinity of putting pictures of pretty sunsets and cute little bunnies ( not that there is anything wrong with that)But this is my art and I do this my way!!

    I want to get more stabilised in that better feeling vibration .

    Here is another example of a better feeling story:

    Old story:
    Career dissatisfaction story:
    "A few years ago I seemed to have everything going for me. I was living in an exciting city, I was at university, and I had friends all over the country. But then I dropped out , moved home and got this job.
    All these years I have been stuck in the same oldjob and I'm bored. Its in an area that I'm really not interested in. I know that there are better things I could be doing with my life. I miss my uni days. I just feel trapped and quite sad that my life has become a daily grind."

    New career story:

    There are aspects of my decision to work that have really paid off for me. I always wanted to stand on my own two feet and live out of my own pocket instead of being completely reliant on my parents.
    I wanted that feeling of independence. And that feeling of being resourceful.After a succession of utterly shit jobs where I only lasted two weeks, it was a welcome change to actually hold down a job.
    As well as remembering the excitement of being at uni, I also remembered the excitement of getting my first job and actually being excited about going out and mingling with people. I can remember being excited about getting my first paycheque. And I liked the idea of having a structure to the day. And to this day I still get something out of that decision.
    I still get spare time and I do some artwork, read, watch intersting tv . I still speak with interesting people from time to time.
    I probably get the same satisfaction today as I did back then when I was at uni. Possibly even more. All those aspects of being independent, being free, having that income ........those are things that I still experience right now and would like to continue to experience whether in this work envoironment or at that university or wherever........yeah, all good. Just needed a little fine tuning












  6. #26
    Old money story:

    I like everyone else, never seem to have enough money. I do OK, I just about keep my head above water. I am doing a bit better than a few years back when I was in over my head. But yet I never seem to make much headway. I am right now limited to one source of income from my day job. The times when I do get extra money are short lived.
    I have a!ways wanted more money to flow through my experience, yet I see so many people living the absence of the financial freedom they desire. I worry things will take a turn for the worse, that I will lose my job or we will end up in another recession. Or something e!se will occur in my experience.

    New better feeling story about money:

    I am more resourceful than I give myself credit for. I turned things around pretty well. I have turned a corner. Right now things are pretty stable and I have a good platform to proceed from.
    I like the idea of doors opening up for me. I like the idea of being freed up. I like the feeling of being freed up and receptive.
    When it comes to money, I could lean in the direction more of what I want. That is a freedom I always have. A big pile of money might not appear on my doorstep straight away, but that's fine. It is a mental process of guiding my thoughts..
    My current bank balance and situation might not easily inspire it, the one thing that gives me comfort is that I can come up with a different vision for my financial picture....in the same way I can approach a blank canvas and paint whatever I want on it, I can do the same thing with my mind with regards to financial abundance.
    I like the idea of the true leverage of thought. There are millions and millions of better feeling thoughts I could right now this very second think about the subject of money. I can guide myself and train myself into those new ways of thinking, regardless of anything else is doing . It doesn't matter if I fall back I I into those old patterns of thought, which I will from time to time. I don't have to beat myself up for that, its just part of the learning process. MY learning process.




  7. #27
    So I'm now in the middle of a situation where I am facing the possibility of the store where I am working might close, leaving me out of a job.

    And so at first I had a typical muggle based fear type response: what am I going to dooooooo what am I going to dooooooo arghhhhhh!!! What am I going to for money, how will I cope????

    But then I remember I'm an Aber, so I want to put my hands back on the steering wheel by taking control of my thinking.

    So my thoughts all start twining into that negative rope. So instead I start pulling a bit on the positive twine...

    What if before the lay off happens I found another source of income?
    What if I could find a way to earn the same each week, if not more?
    What if I was given a lump sum of money that meant I could quite comfortably for a while?
    What if, at the time of closing, I got involved in other projects that had the potential to produce streams of income further down the line?
    What if, at the time of closing, I got so involved in other projects that I hardly even noticed the closure?
    What if the closure even became a non issue as I learn to stand more on my own two feet?
    What if the transition between this and my new avenues was seamless, with me gradually working less and less in this position and more and more in another position?
    What if things really worked out for me? What if there was no struggle in this? What if this was an easy journey?
    What if I lightened up a bit?
    What if I had more fun?
    What if I could find a fun little part time job with lots of young people?
    What if doors started opening up for me?

    As I was writing this list, it's funny because I could feel my thoughts going to heightened vibrational places....like I got to a place, over about half an hour, where I was just getting ideas, having memories of stories of people in later life who have gone on to be successful in business, often coming after a job loss....just feeling rather inspired!

    But then I want about my day...... I noticed other people freaking out about the situation, and ended up going back to my old muggle thinking. So no problem.....I'm just going to soothe my thinking with a new better feeling and beluevable story:

    New story:

    I am in a bit of a pickle. But I didn't suddenly get here all at once. This was really a long time coming. Nothing is really finalised yet. It I lost this job, I wouldn't be a homeless bum by the end of the month. There are other possibilities. I did Things before I got this one job many years ago and I will do Things after. Things are always unfolding. The possibility of me doing really well is actually just as real as the possibility of me coming out really badly. I know which way I would rather direct my focusThis if anything could just be a wake up call, alerting me to where I haven't been deliberate yet. There is still time to turn things around.


  8. #28
    What if :the difference between me hanging onto this one job with dear life because I don't think I can,t do any better and being made temporarily redundant, actually in the end ,means the difference between me just scraping by and making vast amounts of money???

    What if: me being made redundant means that I no longer can scapegoat any true responsibility for my life, the action journey is almost exhausted,and now put in a position where tapping into my own inner power is the only logical next step????

    What if: there are right now,this very second, about 20 or 30 different oppurtunities open to me that would provide me with an income either as much as or even twice as much im getting now??

    What if: I'm actually doing fine?? Everything actually works out?

  9. #29
    Super Moderator Hands in the Clay's Avatar
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    From Abraham:
    "Trust the process."
    "Everything is always working out for you."
    "You came for the contrast, stimulating you to new desires, for the thrill of catching up with those desires."
    "You didn't come for instant manifestation. You wanted the ride on the river."
    "Phoenix to San Diego..."
    "I'm figuring it out as I go."
    "Reach for better-feeling thoughts. Just feel slightly better than you just did."


    ******************************************
    From me:
    Can you shift your perspective, even a little bit, on what a "job" is? Is it only a source of income? Could it also be a way to flex your creative muscles, make new contacts, collect data on stuff you like, find out about things you thought you might like, but ended up deciding against (saving you time down the line, saving you from less-satisfying choices)? Can you find relief by tweaking the way you "frame" a job in your mind?

    I can assure you, from personal experience, that "imposed" job changes can lead to marvelous things - sometimes in the space of one step, sometimes in the space of several phases. Trust the process, work on keeping your vibration and thoughts "soft and flexible" about things, don't listen to the other Muggles, distance yourself from habitual places/people that could "drag you down" (meaning be deliberate and mindful in your choices of people/places the way you are deliberate about food, clothing, culture, music).

    Trust the PROCESS. That means that it might not be a "rabbit-out-of-the-hat outcome" - but it will be an unfolding for which you are vibrationally ready, which means that the ONLY thing that matters is your VIBRATION. And that's something you have entire control over. Good to know, isn't it? And pat yourself on the back more often. Really. Much, much more often.

    Excellent. You are doing wonderfully well! Just keep doing that, as often as you remember to, and feel free to use Post-its, phone alarms, refrigerator magnets, and Abe reading/listening with regularity to nudge you, and take the 10 or 15 minutes you need a couple of times a day to find genuine RELIEF when you are feeling knotted up. Not even joy or optimism - just RELIEF from the wadded-up place.

    ***************************
    From Abraham:

    "Most people do not realize that as they continue to find things to complain about, they disallow their own physical well-being. Many do not realize that before they were complaining about an aching body or a chronic disease, they were complaining about many other things first. It does not matter if the object of your complaint is about someone you are angry with, behavior in others that you believe is wrong, or something wrong with your own physical body. Complaining is complaining, and it disallows improvement."

    "A belief is nothing more than a chronic pattern of thought, and you have the ability—if you try even a little bit—to begin a new pattern, to tell a new story, to achieve a different vibration, to change your point of attraction. The Law of Attraction is responding to your vibration, and you can easily change your vibrational point of attraction by visualizing the lifestyle you desire and holding your attention upon those images until you begin to feel relief, which will indicate that a true vibrational shift has occurred."

    "By paying attention to the way you feel, and then choosing thoughts that feel the very best, you are managing your own vibration, which means you are controlling your own point of attraction - which means you are creating your own reality. It's such a wonderful thing to realize that you can create your own reality without sticking your nose in everybody else's, and that the less attention you give to everybody else's reality, the purer your vibration is going to be - and the more you are going to be pleased with what comes to you."

    And my personal favorite:

    "We want you to decide that you are going to direct the thoughts in order to INDUCE the feeling response. In other words, you are the maker of the feeling of relief. You’re no longer asking for the economy to be the maker of the feeling of relief. Or somebody to buy your product and that to be the maker of your feeling of relief. You’re going to start counting on something that you CAN count on, which is your ability to direct yourself slightly downstream instead of slightly upstream. You’re going to start pointing yourself deliberately downstream in order to INDUCE relief, because someone who can IRRATIONALLY induce relief, will always have outrageous success. [audience applause]
    "We want you to be IRRATIONAL in your willingness to produce personal relief in your belly. And as you do that, that means you will consistently be releasing resistance, which means all that time that you’ve been living all that stuff you’re not the only one that has put this magnificent business out there in your vibrational future. Billions of people around the planet have put this magnificent business out there in the future of so many of you, you see.
    "Don’t use your rationale to line up with it. Use the power of your ability to direct your thought. You line up with your dreams about this, and the Universe will find a way to carve out a niche for you. And anybody standing back and watching you will say, 'It is amazing what’s going on with you. This doesn’t happen to anyone.' And we say, Happens to everyone who is irrationally able to induce their own relief."

    And others:

    http://www.abraham-hicks.com/lawofat...hp?moneyquotes
    You are doing great - doing the work!! Just keep on keepin' on.

  10. #30
    Super Moderator Hands in the Clay's Avatar
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    IMPORTANT: It seems that, perhaps, there is something you are not "seeing" just yet - you have been asking for change in a few key areas of your life, and now there IS change in those key areas, and you're interpreting it as a BAD thing. WHAT IF IT'S THE ANSWER TO YOUR "REQUEST"?? Your situation can't really change unless key parts of your situation change, and if you're not going out there to sniff them out, the Universe will bring them to you on a silver platter, and your job is to stay loose and adapt as that happens. Can you let yourself feel a bit of cautious hope? But without jumping all around or doing that "putting all my eggs in one basket" stuff that so many do, that sets you up for faith-shattering misinterpretations?

    What about how "all hell breaks loose" when people start getting deliberate about Abraham work? What if this is the start of the real transformation?? Can you find a whiff of excitement or anticipation, again without going overboard? A bit of curiosity, intrigue, "what neat things might be awaiting me a bit further down this path"?

    I've been there. I've been in that "asked for change, and then change showed up, but it seemed like it was a hard knock" place.

    I KNOW this stuff works. Here are a few old posts about it, to perhaps help you see the forest, rather than just the trees:

    ******************
    http://www.abeforum.com/showthread.php?16675-Sentencing-tomorrow-and-benefit-figure&p=238985&viewfull=1#post238985

    http://www.abeforum.com/showthread.php?37853-I-have-a-question-about-contrast!&p=810126&viewfull=1#post810126


    If you don’t believe that the Universe will just bring it to you if you do “the work,” like Abe say, you will live that until you change your thinking. It is true. Do the vortex work. If you need to do something else, you will know. Just follow the instructions Abe and other teachers give. I can’t do anything about anyone’s lack of belief other than tell the story:

    I spent a year in Wallowing-in-Misery-After-a-Breakup-Land, late 2008 to autumn 2009, during which all sorts of bad crap happened, physical manifestations of lesser health and just major lack of alignment. A long-time TITITO friend tried to help, sent me an Abe link in April 2009, that I didn’t understand at all because all I wanted to do was find a way to USE that to get the man back. The friend ended up bailing completely after a few months, seeing I was too far down the scale to be helped by him. Life was pretty grim.

    I had a social charges payment due (the things you pay into in France if you have a business – you are required to have several kinds of insurance) that was keeping me up at night for months. It was only 1200 euros or so, but scared the hell out of me and I didn’t know how I was going to pay it. That’s August 2009.

    I got sick and tired of being sick and tired, tired of the cold sweats about the money. Had “The Secret” in book form, bought at a friend’s suggestion three years before, but which I had long since decided was a load of crap after reading the first 10 pages, but something led me to haul it out again and read it. Early September 2009.

    I felt a glimmer of hope. I printed out their check from their “gifts” online section and filled it out for many millions and posted it above my computer, did a genuine vision board with cut outs and stuck it over my TV screen, and watched the Secret videos online (feeling a bit silly, but sometimes feeling good, sometimes crying with relief). Signed up for another Secret teacher’s online program (putting it on my credit card with some anxiety). Started working it.

    Made decision to get a long-written book of my own finished and published, like Jack Canfield did, and hoped that would be how I would get rich. A major literary agent – someone I went to school with 25 years ago and never had contact with since – contacted me “out of the blue” that same evening just to say hi (mid-life crisis type contact) and quickly said he would be happy to be my literary representative to the big firms in NY. I’m naively thinking that I’m on my way. September/October 2009.

    All hell broke loose mid-October. I found out I owed thousands in taxes (that I would have to pay six weeks later) due to the better income year I had when in the love relationship of early 2008 (by “better” I mean “starting salary” level income, instead of “can’t afford to pay my rent this week” income). Felt like the roof was falling in, but I kept hearing “ride the wave, ride the wave” as I tried to manage it. Very clear guidance, like a coach, so I did, often in tears, but hanging in there. Really discovered and started to “get” Abe during this, bought the MLOA book (on credit) and quickly launched into serious Prosperity Game work because that was the one that excited me the most when I read it, first using a notebook, then a real checkbook – at the pace Abe recommend (1000, 2000, 3000 a day), but also fantasizing about millions for the thrill of the feeling and making lists of everything I wanted. Also did the “I’m so happy and grateful now that” exercise from The Secret, filled 20 pages.

    This is October/November 2009, and by now I have purchased (on credit) and am studying all the Abraham books and the Master Course DVD with a vengeance. I’m asking the bank for leeway, asking the Universe for thousands of euros by a particular date, am 2000 euros overdrawn and can’t afford to put gas in the car. I am told I must get an accountant, because the government is changing my business status due the extra money I earned in 2008, which changes my tax burden to a very painful one. Ask the Universe for an accountant (“financial genius” is actually what I asked for). Get series of “coincidental” connections to one very quickly, who says he’ll give me a break on his fees and bill me later in 2010 because I’m struggling so hard financially. Must back-invoice all clients – for a whole year of business - for a tax I didn’t used to have to collect due to this new status. Huge project, causes me to lose some clients.

    November/December. My life is about letters to tax agencies, arranging to be more overdrawn at the bank, praying, working up the EGS, doing EFT (introduced to it through Bob Doyle’s program), diligently doing the Prosperity Game. Find a way to put $100 in my purse and do the Wallet game. (Lots of other tales here, abscessed tooth that must be pulled, bone graft that later is “cancelled” because I allowed so much bone growth, etc, but too long to tell). Listen to the MLOA CD every damn day.

    December 2009 I get contacted by a couple new Paris clients with clout who “found me on the internet” (me here in a distant region with 200 translators itself, and when there are thousands of translators in Paris and overseas, I am not a “known entity” nor do I have keywords on my website) – I accept anything and everything, relax my rates when I have to, make peace, make peace. I work Christmas weekend for Michelin. Other regular clients start sending much bigger projects.

    January 2010 money starts to flow in as invoicing catches up, I’m able to make my payments some of the time. Things are wobbly, major projects come in and then get cancelled, I count my chickens before they’re hatched and get disappointed, but I make peace, make peace, make peace. Appreciate. Cry. Appreciate. Stub my toe. Appreciate. My work desk is covered in post-its with Abe and Bob Doyle phrases, which get replaced with new ones every time something else resonates, and I have a notebook filled with personal processing on any major thing that triggers negative feelings, old or new. Start to feel the reality of the shift. Still thank my bank lady weekly for managing my massive overdrafts with minimum penalties as heavy governmental charges hit before payments come in.

    In addition to this double-edged upheaval, am now starting to feel alone in my new understandings, as old friends are vibing away. Find the Abe Forum in February 2010 (after short disappointment on another LoA forum) where I practice my Abe stuff more and more deliberately. Feel less alone. Get good feedback, read Belana’s stuff with great thirst. Get edited and “chastised” by a moderator early on and it takes me most of a day to EGS it, but I succeed, so determined am I to do this.


    March/April/May 2010. The new biggest client starts giving me serious Fortune 500 company work, I start winning translation tests – every time – and get chosen for major long-term projects, monthly dependable income instead of mish-mash of smaller projects. Get offer to translate an entire (metaphysically oriented) book – a project worth 10 grand. The time and energy to work on my own book gets swept away, though I know it’s still there, someday, still kind of thinking things will probably slow down soon. I work on really appreciating my clients (as you do when you desperately need money), trying not to freak out between the lack end and the abundance end.


    Summer 2010. Money now flowing and I tell that story constantly on forum threads, I am paying off debts elsewhere, seeing a light at the end of the tunnel. Work on the challenge of managing the contrast, learning a new pace, how to handle clients and billing with a different attitude, less fearful and control-freaky, and keep up with the flow that is responding to my asking. My financial genius accountant prepares my 2009 tax return and reduces my tax burden by over 80%. I EFT majorly and steep myself in Abe et al every day, sometimes for hours a day. I break even, debt free, around July 2010. Get more incredible job prospects. Book agent wondering where my intensity went, and I explain that I didn’t know this would happen, and that new magazine projects mean I have millions of readers now, and that helps ease the impatience. EFT work tapers off, Abe listening dominates, EGS work done out of sheer habit. Book the Australia Abe cruise. Pay for it in advance.

    And the rest is history. I’m in the six figures now (never have been in my life, even when high-level salaried). The book will come, too, of course, (agent impatiently waiting for finished chapterizing), but the universe clearly chose the FASTEST path of least resistance. I didn’t do anything other than “the work” (before it was called the “vortex work”). And a few weeks ago sent copies of Abe books to my French Riviera accountant (the same one who was having pity on me 18 months ago) because he wanted to know how I’m doing it (and he doesn’t even know what my figures are yet for THIS year!). (Oh, and yeah, loverman came back, too, but this is a money thread).

    *******************


    Keep on keepin' on, dude. Keep on swimming. Keep on doing the work, on everything. Just keep deliberately feeling slightly better, as often as you remember to, and find ways to remind yourself to do so until it's truly a reflexive habit.

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