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Thread: Worthiness, y'all

  1. #31
    bearsbeetsbattlestar's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by bearsbeetsbattlestar View Post
    I was in the middle of this really luxurious spa appointment yesterday (love birthday week!) and I was just letting my mind wander. At some point it drifted to the topic of worthiness and this thought hit me like a ton of bricks:

    IT'S NOT ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE.

    This was specifically in relation to my physical appearance. IT'S NOT THAT OTHER PEOPLE DON'T APPROVE OF ME, IT'S THAT I DON'T APPROVE OF ME.

    I'm constantly judging myself for not being good enough. It's got nothing to do with other people. It's all me, it's all about me, NOBODY ELSE CARES IF I WEIGH 120 OR 140 or 160*

    I'm aware that this might seem super obvious but this was a shocking revelation to me and I think it's going to totally change my game plan here (not that I really had one, lol). I've been kind of framing this journey through the lens of how I deal with others, caring too much what others think of me, etc.

    But NOW I know that the real task here is to start approving of myself.

    Which is super good news, because it's so much simpler!!!

    *I do have people in my life who *seem* to care how much I weigh. My parents, some friends of mine who make comments a lot if I've lost weight or whatever. BUT I know that this has a heck of a lot more to do with their own vibration and focus than what's going on with me. These people are fighting their own weight demons.
    I don't want this to disappear into the ether, I want to keep the momentum going...and I know that just saying 'I feel worthy' is way too big of a jump...so to bridge the gap I'm going to try, 'I have the ability to love and accept myself- including this physical meat suit I'm wearing- any time I want to.' I'm not in a state of appreciation right now but I can be if I stay focused. Like, it's possible for me to get there.

  2. #32
    bearsbeetsbattlestar's Avatar
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    At the gym this morning and my mantra became shortened into the new and improved,

    I approve of myself.


    It just came to me and felt good. Right now I'm using it to apply to my physical self, but it could apply to anything. Because I do approve of myself...I approve of all the little bits of my body that aren't 'perfect' or up to someone else's arbitrary standards. And this is a choice, it's just a choice that I'm making over and over again all day, choosing to love myself. That's it, that's the work. It's just a thought I keep thinking, and I'll practice it again and again and again until poof!! It's automatic, and it's a belief.

  3. #33
    lemon-up's Avatar
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    today came a few easy wobbles that gave me the chance to choose me . I did

  4. #34
    bearsbeetsbattlestar's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by lemon-up View Post
    today came a few easy wobbles that gave me the chance to choose me . I did


  5. #35
    bearsbeetsbattlestar's Avatar
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    "You're doing better than you're allowing yourself to believe you're doing."

    I really like this quote!

  6. #36
    lemon-up's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by bearsbeetsbattlestar View Post
    "You're doing better than you're allowing yourself to believe you're doing."

    I really like this quote!

  7. #37
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    A couple cool things have happened, that I'm interpreting to mean that I'm on the right track to feeling unconditional worthiness.

    I've gained some weight over the holidays and since. But I'm not making a big deal about it. I already decided that if I need to go buy new clothes, that's fine (right now my priority is staying a nonsmoker, if I have to eat a little more in the meantime to make it easier it's ok). A few years ago the prospect of this would have been a hand-wringing, clothes-rending type of situation.

    I've been getting lots of compliments from people about how I look, just in the last few days. The kinds of comments where they can't quite figure out what it is that's different, but it's positive. This is fun because 1. it shows me that gaining a few pounds really doesn't matter in the least when it comes to how people see me, and 2. I appreciate compliments but at the same time I don't really care that much either way.

    I went to an industry dinner last night and it was WAY WAY too technical for me. I was lost after about 7 minutes and the discussion went on for like 2 hours. It was so boring!!!! lol. But as I sat there I realized that I was totally fine with not understanding what the heck these people were talking about. In the past I would have been so ashamed, and felt like an idiot or stupid that I couldn't keep up, oh maybe I don't really belong here, I need to work harder, blah blah blah. But the thought came to me as my mind was wandering during this interminable dinner: I've been getting along just fine so far, why work harder when I really don't have to? That's silly.

    These are big shifts for me! More work to do on this topic but I feel like I'm off to a great start.

  8. #38
    Quote Originally Posted by lemon-up View Post
    Dreamer, I love that you saw this and gave some input on it.
    I'm glad I saw this before I left the house today.
    it's such a great topic
    Thank you and you're so welcome, I just read it and it was something that I needed to hear myself. I can't offer enough action to get where I really want to go. And I'm just pushing against what is when I try to so there is no true relief in that. The only true good feeling answer is to stop and just let life be what it is and just be what you want to be. Not in terms of action but realising that you where you are and that you don't have to change THAT but change how you feel, regardless of the reality you're living. Our reality change according to our thoughts and feelings, not the action we undertake.

  9. #39
    lemon-up's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dreamer of NeverLand View Post
    Thank you and you're so welcome, I just read it and it was something that I needed to hear myself. I can't offer enough action to get where I really want to go. And I'm just pushing against what is when I try to so there is no true relief in that. The only true good feeling answer is to stop and just let life be what it is and just be what you want to be. Not in terms of action but realising that you where you are and that you don't have to change THAT but change how you feel, regardless of the reality you're living. Our reality change according to our thoughts and feelings, not the action we undertake.
    I love your post here Dreamer of neverland, yep.......I like to meditate on the idea of "i trust that I am exactly where I'm supposed to be". and another is "Trust the process".

    and it's always nice to get that inner guidance that tells me "there is no action to take".

  10. #40
    bearsbeetsbattlestar's Avatar
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    All the things I think are 'so real' aren't real at all. They are all just stories and dreams and everything is changing and morphing all the time.

    Today I choose to see myself as worthy, amazing, doing a great job at life and having a really fun time just being me, finding little pockets and moments of joy and ease and contentment and connection all throughout the day, every day. It's a choice. There's no objective standard, no measuring stick by which to judge myself against another person. I used to think there were standards but now I know those are just stories told to me by myself and others.

    So if there are no set standards about what is 'good' and who is 'bad' (and include smart/dumb, pretty/ugly etc in that), I can choose to see myself however I want to. There is no good/bad, smart/dumb, pretty/ugly. It's all made up in our minds!

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