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Thread: Worthiness, y'all

  1. #41
    bearsbeetsbattlestar's Avatar
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    "Worthiness, or unworthiness, is something that is pronounced upon you by you.

    You are the only one that can deem yourself worthy or unworthy."

    I like this a lot, it's helping me to continue to disconnect my sense of my own worthiness from others. That just muddies the waters. Once I'm really focused on how I feel about me, letting go all BS about other people, I can really get down to work on what this work REALLY is: me feeling better about me.

    To further jettison unnecessary cargo, and to really focus everything down to just this one moment in time- me, sitting here on a Friday at my desk at work, just me being me, doing my me things- right now in this one moment in time I am worthy. I feel it. I don't wish that I was smarter or prettier or thinner or more popular or more productive. I'm totally satisfied with myself, right now in this moment. More than satisfied, I'm doing a great job of being me. I'm really enjoying this single experience of sitting here, typing out this sentence. Lots of things have happened in the past and lots of things will happen in the future but I'm not worried about any of that. I'm really good in the here and now, I'm very present in my physical body and enjoying the way the keys on my keyboard move as I type, loving the way the heater feels on my legs, having fun putting awareness into different parts of my body, like my big toe on my right foot or in my left shoulder blade. I don't need to fix anything or get better at anything, or improve in any way, not right now in this moment. Or ever, not really. All I need is to keep feeling the air fill up my (nice, clean, pink) lungs and rush out again. I know things will get moving quickly again and there will be fun and excitement, but I'm enjoying this balance of just being here, being quiet, being present, and feeling like there's nothing else I need in the world to make this moment complete.

  2. #42
    bearsbeetsbattlestar's Avatar
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    I've spent a good chunk of life wanting to be different so I could finally be happy. But now!!! ooh!! Now I'm really, truly learning a different way. I get that some days will feel better than others, progress isn't necessarily always totally linear, there might be moments where I feel like I'm going backwards. But I've been doing this long enough to know that if I just keep doing the work everything will be a-ok. I can be patient when my mood dips, not fearing that I'm never going to get back on that HFD. I know I will. Everything is working out amazingly, shockingly well.

    Earlier this week I had the most amazing adventure that involved private air travel and front row tickets to a concert, I had the TIME OF MY LIFE. I've never had so much fun at a concert, I was so utterly in the moment, I went crazy and jumped around and shouted lyrics until my throat was raw and I felt so completely amazing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It was a ****ing blast, if you'll forgive my crude language.

    I felt so good about myself through that entire experience, even though the people I was with were super fabulous (the kind of people who regularly travel on private jets!) and I'm a little more salt of the earth, and I didn't know any of them all that well. Conversation was so easy, personal connections were made, we all laughed our asses off- even though it was the most random group and some of us had nothing in common, really. Two different people in the group approached me at different points and asked, 'can you believe we are really here?' It was like a dream.

    I felt so AT HOME in my own skin. Not just with how I looked and how I felt about how I looked, but me, my identity, my true self. I wasn't worried about the impression I was making, it was all just so easy. I naturally connected with other people, SAW them, listened to them, related, had nice conversations that weren't all about me because I was so busy overcompensating for feeling unworthy. The best thing is that it was all automatic, no effort at all.

    This is what I'm reaching for, more and more of the time. And I know I can have it, any time and anywhere.

    Last edited by bearsbeetsbattlestar; 03-31-2017 at 07:51 PM. Reason: added some much needed flair

  3. #43
    bearsbeetsbattlestar's Avatar
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    Last night I was listening to a podcast where the hosts were investigating the Meyers Briggs personality assessment. They suggested that listeners stop and take a quick free online version as a way to follow along. So I did, for fun.

    I was reading through the assessment really confused, thinking 'this isn't me at all.' So I read a different type that I was close to, and thought 'this isn't me either!'

    And then I realized: who cares? This whole exercise is stupid! I don't need some test to tell me who I am and what I'm like. I closed the tab on my browser and moved on.

    The truth is, I can be (and often am) anything I want to be. Extroverted, introverted, analytical, thinking, feeling, judging, sensing, nurturing, sensitive, logical, whatever. All these things and more. We all are. Hell, sometimes I'm all these things in a single hour!

    It's much more fun to relax and just be me, with unlimited possibilities.

  4. #44
    lemon-up's Avatar
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    I asked for something very specific at work and now my goal is to align with my worthiness. my job is to know my worthiness and let go the how and the who and all that

    to just relax and be ready to see how this can unfold in the most delicious and positive way for me . i'll know more in a few days, so I will put it all on Source beam cos I already know what I want >

  5. #45

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    Quote Originally Posted by lemon-up View Post
    I asked for something very specific at work and now my goal is to align with my worthiness.
    Just stop paying such things any mind and enjoy the good things in life.

  6. #46
    lemon-up's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by AlexB View Post
    Just stop paying such things any mind and enjoy the good things in life.
    oh yes, the best idea!

    after three weeks of trusting my good outcome it was better than I could ever imagine

  7. #47
    bearsbeetsbattlestar's Avatar
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    Worthiness is about alignment with the vibration of your desire and who you really are.
    So worthiness and unworthiness is a flawed premise Ė itís a function of you trying to evaluate yourself through the eyes of others, because if you were evaluating yourself through the lens of Source, you would never for a moment any time in your life have felt unworthiness.
    So unworthiness must mean youíve been looking for worthiness in all of the wrong places. Youíve been trying to get validation from those who canít validate you.

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