Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 19

Thread: Starting all over

  1. #1

    Starting all over

    Hey all,

    So after a month absence I am back. I had another thread I was going over, but I'm "throwing it out the window". There was a lot of negativity in that thread from me, and I'm sure this thread is bound to have some to, but I am going to attempt to keep it all from a positive angle. Even if it is something negative, I will try to approach it from a positive angle. So lets just jump into this.

    I think I may have made a mistake, but since there is no right or wrong way, maybe it is just a step I had to take. The thing I did was quit my job, well 2 jobs. I was working as a manager at Petco, and left there for an office job that paid more. Well I did not enjoy that new job, and was falling asleep and couldn't concentrate. So after a few weeks, I ended up leaving there. I am now without a job, and just thinking about what I should do, or what I should be doing. I have no idea what job or career I want, so I have been writing down what I didn't like about both those jobs, and how I want to feel in my new job. This works at times, but sometimes I get off track and think well if this is how I want to feel, what kind of career will it be what industry will it even be in or how am I going to even find and apply to this magical job? As you can see it gets me away from the vortex quickly and effortlessly.

    So I guess my question is, what do I do next? I focus on the good and positive of the way I will feel, I focus on the feelings of how my new career is going to make me truly happy, it will pay all my bills effortlessly, it will allow me to buy a new house that I love with a open floor plan, with all new kitchen appliances. I vision in detail what this job will bring to me, but I try to avoid thinking about the actual job because doing that brings up the negative emotions and questions about how I will find it or what it will even be. So like I said, I feel I'm putting in the work, I'm doing my best to fill in my grid, but I just want to take action, I want that inspired action to just come down and smack me in the face like a ton of bricks to make me just go out and do something that will lead to my next step and so on and so forth.

    Maybe I should mention I was attempting to start my own business installing and maintaining fish tanks, I had business cards and everything made, looked into insurance for the company and all. Now I am not sure that is what I really want. I love animals and I love fish, but I have so many second guesses on so many things that I really try to avoid thinking about a career, but I need one. Coming from a place of need is never good, so I am working on being okay where I am, I got myself here, ive been here before and gotten out of it, I know I can again. This time I just want it to be the greatest path I could of chose, towards my true calling, making the money I know I deserve waking up every morning ecstatic to go to work or whatever I have to do.

    So like I said, I'm lost at what I should be doing or what I should do next. I am trying to avoid thinking about my career and what I want to do, but avoiding it brings it into my life. So instead of that, I'm going to just focus on things that feel good and try my best to switch my thoughts when it comes up because I sure know it will. It also doesn't help when I have my parents asking what I'm going to do, and its only been 2 weeks without a job, I don't want this to last very long. Vacations are nice when you have a job to return to... Is there something I'm missing? Is there something I should do next to get that inspired action? I know I should be aiming for my vortex and I do, but when I do I also think well what if my vortex just ignores my career, I guess that wouldn't be terrible id still get things I desire, but you get my point.

    I hope I explained that well, its all scrambled up inside my brain, so I hope it at least made sense to understand it.

  2. #2
    Super Kitty Marc's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2008
    Location
    Tempe, Arizona, USA
    Posts
    9,246
    Quote Originally Posted by greenergrass View Post
    I think I may have made a mistake, but since there is no right or wrong way, maybe it is just a step I had to take. The thing I did was quit my job, well 2 jobs. I was working as a manager at Petco, and left there for an office job that paid more. Well I did not enjoy that new job, and was falling asleep and couldn't concentrate. So after a few weeks, I ended up leaving there. I am now without a job, and just thinking about what I should do, or what I should be doing. I have no idea what job or career I want, so I have been writing down what I didn't like about both those jobs, and how I want to feel in my new job. This works at times, but sometimes I get off track and think well if this is how I want to feel, what kind of career will it be what industry will it even be in or how am I going to even find and apply to this magical job? As you can see it gets me away from the vortex quickly and effortlessly.
    Let's step back for a moment because you're having very important contrast at the moment. Here's what you're describing -- you decided to take action because you believed it was the conditions causing your negative emotion, but now that you've taken the action to quit your jobs you've discovered that things have not improved. That's important to recognize because if it were true that your jobs were the cause of your discord, the absence of those jobs would feel BETTER... but you don't. You now have proof positive that the way you feel really wasn't about those conditions, because now the conditions are different and you're still out of the Vortex. Now this isn't to say that quitting your jobs wasn't the path of least resistance. Perhaps it was, but that's really neither here nor there because you are where you are.

    This is really important for a couple of reasons -- first, it's an important reminder that you can't action your way out of a vibrational problem. Second, it's pointing out that your process to try to identify what industry or job you're seeking based on how you want to feel isn't really going to work because it's not the particular conditions that end up creating the way you feel. Rather, conditions have the potential to yield experiences to match the way you feel, in the same way that the ABSENCE of your jobs still feels pretty much the same way (or even a little worse) than the PRESENCE of jobs you don't like.
    Quote Originally Posted by greenergrass View Post
    So I guess my question is, what do I do next?
    The answer hasn't changed since our last conversation. Your job is to feel BETTER. Notice that I didn't say "Feel GOOD" or "Find particular conditions that will 'make you happy.'" Your job is to feel a little BETTER rather than doing what you're doing to make yourself feel worse.
    Quote Originally Posted by greenergrass View Post
    I focus on the good and positive of the way I will feel, I focus on the feelings of how my new career is going to make me truly happy,
    Here's where we come back around to what I just wrote -- your new career isn't "going to make [you] truly happy." It doesn't have the ability to do that. How you feel is going to draw things that match from wherever is around you, rather than the other way around. That means you need to find ways to feel progressively better FIRST, because you're not going to find a perfect set of conditions that are going to satisfy you forevermore.
    Quote Originally Posted by greenergrass View Post
    it will pay all my bills effortlessly, it will allow me to buy a new house that I love with a open floor plan, with all new kitchen appliances. I vision in detail what this job will bring to me, but I try to avoid thinking about the actual job because doing that brings up the negative emotions and questions about how I will find it or what it will even be.
    Of course, because when you're feeling negative emotion and you try to jump all the way to feeling "positive," LOA isn't going to let you make that jump. All it does is reinforce where you are. Trying to be really specific the way you're doing when you're feeling bad just reinforces that strong negative momentum. Instead, be more GENERAL. SOOTHE yourself instead of amplifying the distance you perceive between where you are and where you want to be. Are there other jobs out there? ABSOLUTELY. Do you have the ability to feel BETTER about the jobs you had? Definitely. Is it really necessary for you to be a match to everything you have in your Vortex on the topic of work/career? Not so much. Is it possible for you to take a step forward, feel a little better, and have things improve? CERTAINLY! Is it really necessary for you to figure it all out this red hot minute? Nope.
    Quote Originally Posted by greenergrass View Post
    So like I said, I feel I'm putting in the work, I'm doing my best to fill in my grid, but I just want to take action, I want that inspired action to just come down and smack me in the face like a ton of bricks to make me just go out and do something that will lead to my next step and so on and so forth.
    Two points -- it's not your job to fill in your grid, LOA does that on its own. Second, the thing you haven't done is to actually FEEL BETTER. While it's certainly understandable that you want conditions to change, everything is responding to you. That means YOU have to make the vibrational shift first. You've got to feel BETTER before the inspiration to act can come.
    Quote Originally Posted by greenergrass View Post
    Maybe I should mention I was attempting to start my own business...
    No, that's not really helpful right now.
    Quote Originally Posted by greenergrass View Post
    So like I said, I'm lost at what I should be doing or what I should do next. I am trying to avoid thinking about my career and what I want to do, but avoiding it brings it into my life.
    Sounds like you might as well find ways to feel BETTER about it.
    Quote Originally Posted by greenergrass View Post
    So instead of that, I'm going to just focus on things that feel good and try my best to switch my thoughts when it comes up because I sure know it will.
    Well, if that approach worked, which is essentially what you described in our previous conversation, you'd be having a very different experience right now, would you not?
    Quote Originally Posted by greenergrass View Post
    It also doesn't help when I have my parents asking what I'm going to do, and its only been 2 weeks without a job, I don't want this to last very long. Vacations are nice when you have a job to return to... Is there something I'm missing?
    Yes. We've been telling you what it is for a while.
    Quote Originally Posted by greenergrass View Post
    Is there something I should do next to get that inspired action?
    Yes, you've got to find a way to actually feel BETTER about where you are instead of either trying really hard to fix things or trying really hard to not think about what's right in front of you and impossible to avoid.

  3. #3
    So I know the only thing I need to do is FEEL BETTER. Feel better, feel better, feel better. That's all I need to do and everything will work itself out. I get it and I believe that, I really do. Its just when I try to feel better, I start to feel overwhelmed and its really hard to describe, but than since I feel overwhelmed I start thinking I must be doing it wrong, even though there is no wrong way. It just starts to make me feel bad though, and I eventually just give up and feel powerless like there's nothing I can do.

    I know there is so much I can do to feel better, I just can't figure out what my problem is that I can't do something so simple as to just feel better. Even if I could just feel better for one whole day, I think that could make a small difference. I know I think way to much, its just ever since I was little I was taught I need to figure my life out, I need to have a plan for my life, and now that I'm here with no plan, I feel lost, worthless, and helpless. Those feel like my real emotions, but when I ask myself I really don't feel that far down the scale because I know I can control all of it, I know I can change everything, I have that hope that things will get better, I have that belief that things will get better. So it is just very confusing to me to accept where I am if I can't even figure that part out myself.

    I know you can't make me feel better, that its my job, but from seeing from the things that I say, where would you think I am at on the scale and what kind of thoughts do you think lead me up stream? Do I just need to reword those thoughts and just repeat them day in and day out till it sticks to start going downstream? Once I'm moving downstream will things really start falling into place? Will I really get inspired action because I feel like I haven't had any inspired action in years. Should I make other goals for myself to focus on or should I just work on feeling better? I just don't even know how to make myself feel better honestly, because I don't know what I'm suppose to focus on to feel better about. My whole life? Certain areas of my life? Like getting my career, my relationships, other areas of my life? This is all confusing to me, I thought I understood it all, but I don't think I understand it as well as I want to make myself believe I do.

  4. #4
    Super Kitty Marc's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2008
    Location
    Tempe, Arizona, USA
    Posts
    9,246
    Quote Originally Posted by greenergrass View Post
    I get it and I believe that, I really do.
    Quote Originally Posted by greenergrass View Post
    Its just when I try to feel better, I start to feel overwhelmed and its really hard to describe, but than since I feel overwhelmed I start thinking I must be doing it wrong, even though there is no wrong way.
    Well, you can be "doing it wrong" in the sense that it's not feeling better, which is still okay because at least you have the awareness that what you're doing isn't working. When someone talks to us about how they feel overwhelmed when they try to feel better, that's because they're trying to make a big jump they can't make. BETTER often means "just a little less crappy."
    Quote Originally Posted by greenergrass View Post
    It just starts to make me feel bad though, and I eventually just give up and feel powerless like there's nothing I can do.
    And there's your awareness that what you're doing actually feels WORSE, rather than feeling BETTER. That's good to know, isn't it?
    Quote Originally Posted by greenergrass View Post
    I know there is so much I can do to feel better, I just can't figure out what my problem is that I can't do something so simple as to just feel better.
    A quick question: Does criticizing yourself for not getting it right FEEL BETTER? This is the nitty gritty here. If the answer is no, then the logical answer is to stop doing that, is it not? Ask yourself, does it feel better to tell yourself," What is my problem?" or to say, "Hey, I'm doing my best and I'm feeling out how all of this works."?
    Quote Originally Posted by greenergrass View Post
    Even if I could just feel better for one whole day, I think that could make a small difference. I know I think way to much, its just ever since I was little I was taught I need to figure my life out, I need to have a plan for my life, and now that I'm here with no plan, I feel lost, worthless, and helpless. Those feel like my real emotions, but when I ask myself I really don't feel that far down the scale because I know I can control all of it, I know I can change everything, I have that hope that things will get better, I have that belief that things will get better. So it is just very confusing to me to accept where I am if I can't even figure that part out myself.
    Sure you can, you just told us. You feel lost, worthless and hopeless. You'd like to think you can change everything, but you don't BELIEVE it. Belief is WAY too far for you. Even hope is WAY too far from where you are. If you really believed that things will get better, you wouldn't feel lost, worthless and hopeless, would you?
    Quote Originally Posted by greenergrass View Post
    I know you can't make me feel better, that its my job, but from seeing from the things that I say, where would you think I am at on the scale and what kind of thoughts do you think lead me up stream?
    You just told us -- you feel lost, worthless and helpless.
    Quote Originally Posted by greenergrass View Post
    Do I just need to reword those thoughts and just repeat them day in and day out till it sticks to start going downstream? Once I'm moving downstream will things really start falling into place? Will I really get inspired action because I feel like I haven't had any inspired action in years.
    Again, inspired action only comes when you genuinely FEEL BETTER. Saying that you hope things improve when you feel "lost, worthless and hopeless," doesn't actually feel better. So if I were in your shoes, I'd take out a copy of the EGS and look at what's around fear and guilt/unworthiness. I'd reach for thoughts that feel like emotions a little bit above those emotions on the EGS. An example might be, "Who the h377 has the right to teach me that I'm worthless unless I have things figured out and have a plan for my life?"
    Quote Originally Posted by greenergrass View Post
    Should I make other goals for myself to focus on or should I just work on feeling better? I just don't even know how to make myself feel better honestly, because I don't know what I'm suppose to focus on to feel better about. My whole life? Certain areas of my life? Like getting my career, my relationships, other areas of my life?
    Is there a reason you can't spend some time doing both? Is there a reason you'd want not to feel better about ANYTHING? Feel better about work, feel better about other things, spend time focused on things that are easy to feel better about. I'd vote for "All of the above."
    Quote Originally Posted by greenergrass View Post
    This is all confusing to me, I thought I understood it all, but I don't think I understand it as well as I want to make myself believe I do.

    Then going back and reading/re-reading an Abe book is probably a good place to start, no? If you're confused about what applying various processes look like, perhaps reading APoDI or APoE, which are all Abraham giving examples of applying the processes to various specific subjects is in order? Perhaps reading Money and the LOA, which talks about the topics of money and career, would be helpful?

  5. #5
    Also is there certain exercises I should be doing to help me align with my desires? I know a lot of people use focus wheels, but sometimes mine don't work out as I've said before. Some of the other process in AAIIG, just don't seem to be so much so for my situation. So if you know of any, or even any in the book that might be helpful to me, I would love to know about them.

  6. #6
    So I know I said I feel powerless, worthless, and lost, but when I focus on that it doesn't feel good, obviously duh, but it doesn't feel like that's where I'm at either, because jealousy and anger feel worse not better? It really doesn't feel like any relief at all, which is why I'm so confused on where I am at and what I should be telling myself to feel better if that makes any sense. I'm trying to describe it as best I can, and I hope that its making sense. I would say that I do feel lost though, I feel so confused on what to do and how to feel that I feel lost. I read up and down the scale and can't seem to pin point where I feel I really am. Is that normal when you're just starting to really use the scale?

    So right now all I'm doing is any thought I get I'm just trying to look at it from a positive light, and just add a little bit of positivity to it. I am working on stopping critizing myself because I know I do that to much.

    I know this is getting way off topic, kinda, but do you think this is where all my trust issues come from? Just overall feeling bad? Especially with any SO, I just have very bad trust issues, and ive been trying to fix them for years now, and it just doesn't seem to ever change. I know I'm looking at it the wrong way, but I just don't even know where to begin or if I'm even ready to go down that path with all these other issues going on in my life. I sound like such a mess lol. I know its not as bad as I make it seem, I think I exaggerate a bit, but I just try to get everything off my chest and onto "paper" so to speak.

    Also out of those three books, which would you think is the best for me to read? I know they all will help, but knowing how I am and what I struggle with which do you think I should read first? I was looking at the reviews of each on amazon, but just going off of that doesn't always help.
    Last edited by greenergrass; 3 Weeks Ago at 07:17 PM. Reason: Added last part

  7. #7

    Join Date
    Jun 2016
    Location
    USA
    Posts
    45
    Have you tried the Going General + Grid setting process yet? Since you are having trouble figuring out where you are on the scale, going general might be a good idea. You can just pen down all the "negative" or bad feeling thoughts and let it all out without having to figure out the exact emotion on the scale.

    POE has an awesome thread on this process with detailed instructions along with all the wonderful examples of everyone practicing on there. I have been working with this process lately and it's been very helpful! It's light and easy and you don't have to worry about placing yourself on the scale correctly.

    Hope this helps.

  8. #8
    Super Kitty Marc's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2008
    Location
    Tempe, Arizona, USA
    Posts
    9,246
    Quote Originally Posted by greenergrass View Post
    So I know I said I feel powerless, worthless, and lost, but when I focus on that it doesn't feel good, obviously duh, but it doesn't feel like that's where I'm at either, because jealousy and anger feel worse not better? It really doesn't feel like any relief at all, which is why I'm so confused on where I am at and what I should be telling myself to feel better if that makes any sense.
    That's part of the process -- learning about how different emotions feel, what feels better, what feels worse, etc.
    Quote Originally Posted by greenergrass View Post
    I'm trying to describe it as best I can, and I hope that its making sense. I would say that I do feel lost though, I feel so confused on what to do and how to feel that I feel lost.
    So soothe yourself about feeling "lost" and "confused." It's always a matter of stepping back into what you DO know. Abraham says that essentially, there really are just two emotions -- one feels good, the other feels bad. Can you identify which of those two you're feeling? Of course. You know you're not feeling good, so that leaves only one option. So rather than focusing on what you don't know, acknowledge what you DO know and pat yourself on the back for that. After you've accepted that you really do understand the basics, you can start narrowing things down. Do you feel REALLY BAD, which would make you closer to powerlessness, or is it more like boredom? Even if you can't put your finger EXACTLY on where you are, I bet you have a decent idea of the neighborhood you're in. Now keep in mind, we're talking about HOW YOU REALLY FEEL, not the nice, fluffy Abraham things you WANT to believe.
    Quote Originally Posted by greenergrass View Post
    I read up and down the scale and can't seem to pin point where I feel I really am. Is that normal when you're just starting to really use the scale?
    Whether it's "normal" or not isn't relevant. You are where you are, so it must be okay regardless of whether it's "normal." Now that said, here's a piece you're missing: It's common to have different feelings about different subjects, or even different feelings about different ASPECTS of subjects. So maybe you feel one way about subject A but differently about subject B. That's a probability.
    Quote Originally Posted by greenergrass View Post
    So right now all I'm doing is any thought I get I'm just trying to look at it from a positive light, and just add a little bit of positivity to it.
    You can only "add positivity" if you're somewhere in the neighborhood of positivity. If you're not, then you're just putting a happy face sticker on top of things. You don't have to add positivity, all you need is to NOT add as much negativity.

  9. #9
    I can say I can definitely feel the difference between a good feeling and a bad feeling. It seems my problem is seeing how good or how negative of a feeling it is. I can never tell if its very low on the scale or closer to the top of the scale. I can start to try and feel the area of the ball park on the scale that I am feeling though. I have never really given much thought in the moment to stop and think what is this feeling closer to then making a conscious effort to try and feel better in the moment about that thought, I think its time for me to start doing that in any way possible.

    engee, I am going to start to try and go general also, I opened the thread in a new tab, that I am going to read as soon as I finish up this post, so I thank you in advance for that I know itll be a good read!

    I am going to try and soothe myself whenever I feel badly, I really am not sure how to do that, and I am having a really hard time with something I just found out and its bringing me way down the scale if you can help, anyone.

    I dated my ex for 5-6 years and we broke up a year ago or so like last april, today I just found out that my brother is now dating her. I am disgusted by this, this has been going on since January. He didn't even tell me, I overheard my mom telling my dad, apparently he was going to tell me this "weekend". Really who knows about that, its be 4 months since its been going on and what makes this weekend any different. I have no idea how to feel about all this. I feel furious, he is dead to me, I never want to speak to them, my girlfriend is now worried things will be awkward at family events so I don't even want to go to those either. Am I in the wrong? I feel he is the one in the wrong, its disgusting that he even considered dating her when we dated for over 5 years. It really is so disgusting to me. I am so confused on how to feel, and I have been feeling this was going to happen for a long time, so no wonder it did. I felt it, so the universe made it happen, so I get it its my fault, I brought it upon myself. Now that it is here, I don't know how to even feel. There is so much more to the story, but it really hurts me to talk about so I am just going to stop now and maybe later I will be able to explain more. For now though that explains the jist of it, and I'm sure everyone will have their opinions on it and how I should feel and what steps I should be taking now, because me feeling lost already this just adds to it, it all makes sense.
    P.S. She was the one who left me, and I was heart broken and he knew it.

    There's only rainbows after rain though right? I'm trying to stay positive I have a feeling something huge is coming my way. Fingers crossed everyone! Thanks for all the help!

  10. #10
    Super Kitty Marc's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2008
    Location
    Tempe, Arizona, USA
    Posts
    9,246
    Quote Originally Posted by greenergrass View Post
    I can say I can definitely feel the difference between a good feeling and a bad feeling.
    Great. Then stick with that for now. Spend time noticing that you know the difference between what feels good and what feels bad.
    Quote Originally Posted by greenergrass View Post
    It seems my problem is seeing how good or how negative of a feeling it is.
    I'd describe it differently. I'd say your habit of thought is to focus on the parts you don't have immediately rather than keeping your attention on the parts that you DO have and letting LOA help you (the way I recommended).
    Quote Originally Posted by greenergrass View Post
    I can never tell if its very low on the scale or closer to the top of the scale.
    I bet you can. Powerlessness and boredom feel COMPLETELY different. Boredom is just a step away from contentment. Powerlessness is much, much heavier.
    Quote Originally Posted by greenergrass View Post
    I can start to try and feel the area of the ball park on the scale that I am feeling though. I have never really given much thought in the moment to stop and think what is this feeling closer to then making a conscious effort to try and feel better in the moment about that thought, I think its time for me to start doing that in any way possible.
    So it's not that you can't tell, it's that you haven't ever really tried. That's really a much different situation, isn't it?
    Quote Originally Posted by greenergrass View Post
    I am going to try and soothe myself whenever I feel badly, I really am not sure how to do that,
    Again, I've suggested a couple of Abraham books already that give concrete examples of applying processes to different subjects. There's also an entire "Practicing the Teachings" subforum filled with people applying different processes to various subjects. If you're not sure how to soothe yourself, you've got plenty available that you can use to educate yourself.

    Quote Originally Posted by greenergrass View Post
    and I am having a really hard time with something I just found out and its bringing me way down the scale if you can help, anyone.
    Two points: First, you were aware that this feels WORSE than you had been feeling, which demonstrates that you really can tell the difference between different negative emotions. Second, this other story is an entirely different subject and should really have it's own thread. So as a Mod, I'm going to ask that we put the relationship discussion on hold here and if you'd like to start a separate thread, you may.

    Quote Originally Posted by greenergrass View Post
    There's only rainbows after rain though right? I'm trying to stay positive I have a feeling something huge is coming my way.
    You're not "staying" positive because you're nowhere near positive to begin with. As we've discussed before, using fluffy sounding words don't allow you to feel BETTER. That's what Abraham refers to as a "happy face sticker." You're not going to jump all the way from rain to rainbows, but you can go from lots of rain to a little less rain. That's all that is required.

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •