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Thread: How should I proceed?

  1. #11
    Quote Originally Posted by paradise-on-earth View Post

    But most people don't allow the happy moment,
    because they're so busy trying to get a happy life.



    Abraham-Hicks
    This was right on spot. I will try to make myself feel better than to create circumstances that make myself feel beter.

  2. #12
    Super Moderator WellBeing's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by VVakeUp View Post
    This was right on spot. I will try to make myself feel better than to create circumstances that make myself feel beter.
    So, check in with your emotional guidance system here for a second. Which idea feels (not "sounds" or "looks" or "seems") better?:

    • "I will try to make myself feel better...." OR
    • "I will try to look for ways to feel better...." OR
    • "I will allow myself to feel better...."


    Can you feel the difference between those approaches? (As PoE's quote says, Abraham's suggestion would be the last one on my list.)

  3. #13
    Quote Originally Posted by WellBeing View Post
    So, check in with your emotional guidance system here for a second. Which idea feels (not "sounds" or "looks" or "seems") better?:

    • "I will try to make myself feel better...." OR
    • "I will try to look for ways to feel better...." OR
    • "I will allow myself to feel better...."


    Can you feel the difference between those approaches? (As PoE's quote says, Abraham's suggestion would be the last one on my list.)
    And of course it is. I can literally feel better energy flowing through my body when I read the last sentence.

  4. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by VVakeUp View Post
    Well, then this:
    Getting my routines straight with going up early, going to the gym and getting a good start in the morning is one of my priorities right now. So if a do a process, heck, even if I just think thoughts about how it would feel to be fresh and energetic in the morning, thoughts that make me feel better about it, then I still cannot unnotice that I am by fact tired and snoozing so I skip everything I wanted to do.
    It's not necessary for you to "un-notice" anything. How you feel is a PRODUCT of your focus. So it doesn't matter what you're noticing that you don't like, whether that's a particular manifestation or the fact that you don't like the way you feel right now, it's all the same. You have the ability to focus yourself back into alignment. Maybe that's meditating for 15 minutes so that you feel better. Maybe it's listening to soothing music or taking time to focus on a subject that is easy to feel about. Maybe that's doing some process to feel BETTER about a subject that doesn't feel the way you want it to.

    Quote Originally Posted by VVakeUp View Post
    And that was just 10 hours after I made myself feel better about the subject.
    And you were planning on going back to the gym just a day or two after you had already been there. So perhaps both are a PROCESS of refinement rather than something you "get done" in any one sitting?
    Quote Originally Posted by VVakeUp View Post
    Or even a closer example: I really want myself to be a better driver. So I imagine often while driving, that it would feel wonderful to be a safer and better driver. But then still, I get 3 mini-heart attacks per hour because I didn't look where people or other cars came from. And during the moment I think about it, I feel a loss of resistance.
    You're basically telling us the same story you're telling us on every other subject. Now that's just fine, and it makes perfect sense -- something Abe calls a "habit of thought." Here's what you're doing: You tell us, "I'd like it if this condition was different," and when you notice that it isn't, you feel bad. You're missing the same piece - you haven't done the work to MAKE PEACE with where you are. That's why things aren't changing. Is it possible to feel better about where you are as a driver even though your driving hasn't yet improved? ABSOLUTELY. That's the piece you're missing.

    Quote Originally Posted by VVakeUp View Post
    And since Abe says that I do not need to think about my wish over and over again, it is enough to just allow it after I've asked for it, why isn't the manifestation following in this example?
    If you were able to keep your attention on other subjects that feel good and go "tra la la" along your way and not think about your desire again, it would. Again, you're missing a crucial piece: Every subject is where you last left it. Because you presumably drive frequently, you re-activate the subject where you last left it and things stay where they are. That's why you keep getting more of the same.

    Quote Originally Posted by VVakeUp View Post
    I noticed early while reading the processes from AIIG that they are more roadsigns to reduce my resistance than some magic spell.
    Indeed, that's EXACTLY what they are -- ways to help you FEEL BETTER, rather than ways to "fix" conditions.

    Quote Originally Posted by VVakeUp View Post
    And I understand the point of them, though the question how I should proceed is maybe more of this right now: I've been doing 1 process per 2 days for some weeks now and I can feel my resistance changing (?), but, when I write about myself as an energetic person who goes up in the morning without any issues, or I write a list over positive aspects and include my car and my job and feel great about it while doing it... well, I guess it's back to re-reading all of your replies now, since I am back where I started.
    You're not. You're someone who is gaining even more clarity about how all this really works. That's where the rubber meets the road, is it not?
    Quote Originally Posted by VVakeUp View Post
    I just fear that I am taking a step back in deliberately creating my reality. But I think I might, just as you say, feel bad about feeling bad and going to hard on myself.
    I'll bring things back to the topic of the gym, as it's something you've already talked about. Do you become despondent when you come back to the gym and realize that the weights you used the time before are back on the rack? Or that after all the pedaling, the cycle you've been on is in exactly the same spot? Or do you recognize that it's all part of the process of becoming who and what you want to become?

  5. #15
    Quote Originally Posted by Marc View Post
    It's not necessary for you to "un-notice" anything. How you feel is a PRODUCT of your focus. So it doesn't matter what you're noticing that you don't like, whether that's a particular manifestation or the fact that you don't like the way you feel right now, it's all the same. You have the ability to focus yourself back into alignment. Maybe that's meditating for 15 minutes so that you feel better. Maybe it's listening to soothing music or taking time to focus on a subject that is easy to feel about. Maybe that's doing some process to feel BETTER about a subject that doesn't feel the way you want it to.

    You're basically telling us the same story you're telling us on every other subject. Now that's just fine, and it makes perfect sense -- something Abe calls a "habit of thought." Here's what you're doing: You tell us, "I'd like it if this condition was different," and when you notice that it isn't, you feel bad. You're missing the same piece - you haven't done the work to MAKE PEACE with where you are. That's why things aren't changing. Is it possible to feel better about where you are as a driver even though your driving hasn't yet improved? ABSOLUTELY. That's the piece you're missing.


    If you were able to keep your attention on other subjects that feel good and go "tra la la" along your way and not think about your desire again, it would. Again, you're missing a crucial piece: Every subject is where you last left it. Because you presumably drive frequently, you re-activate the subject where you last left it and things stay where they are. That's why you keep getting more of the same.
    I am totally with you on this. But I cannot get this to manifest in the reality.

    Let me give you an example.

    I wake up today.
    One of my first thoughts is "I will allow myself to feel better and to feel as a safer and better driver. It would feel great." Feeling great.

    I go and start doing my breakfest and 5 minutes later I remember that I almost crashed into another car yestarday. As soon as I notice that, I try to go back to a thought that feels better about the subject, or overall. Feeling better again.

    10 minutes later, I remember again that it was actually another person that I almost drove into some days ago. Going at once back to a thought that feels better again, but here starts a conflict, since then even thoughts like "Why is this coming up when I am here, standing like a guardian over my thoughts? And since I get bad thoughts about this again, I might cause an accident again soon", and I am back on square one.

    And my whole morning, I've been thinking about "allowing myself to feel better", since that feels really good, but then still a customer calls me and cancels an appointment and one of my friends rages at me for no particular reason.


    Is it possible to feel better about where you are as a driver even though your driving hasn't yet improved? ABSOLUTELY. That's the piece you're missing.

    If you were able to keep your attention on other subjects that feel good and go "tra la la" along your way and not think about your desire again, it would. Again, you're missing a crucial piece: Every subject is where you last left it. Because you presumably drive frequently, you re-activate the subject where you last left it and things stay where they are. That's why you keep getting more of the same.
    I guess that's the point, as you said, I cannot accept that my desires doesn't manifest. So in that case... how should I do?

  6. #16
    Super Kitty Marc's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by VVakeUp View Post
    I am totally with you on this. But I cannot get this to manifest in the reality.
    You haven't gotten it to manifest in your reality because you're going about things in a way they CANNOT work.
    Quote Originally Posted by VVakeUp View Post
    Let me give you an example.

    I wake up today.
    One of my first thoughts is "I will allow myself to feel better and to feel as a safer and better driver. It would feel great." Feeling great.
    That's exactly the "habit of thought" I described in my previous post. In your previous post you described it as a "wish," which is exactly what it is. To use Abraham's oft-told analogy of being in Phoenix and wanting to be in San Diego, what you're describing is using nice words to say, "I'm going to close my eyes and when I re-open them, I'm going to be in San Diego. It would feel great." When you open your eyes, you're going to discover that you're still in Phoenix because things don't work the way you're trying to get them to work.
    Quote Originally Posted by VVakeUp View Post
    I go and start doing my breakfest and 5 minutes later I remember that I almost crashed into another car yestarday. As soon as I notice that, I try to go back to a thought that feels better about the subject, or overall. Feeling better again.
    As I mentioned, you're still in Phoenix. You can't wish yourself to San Diego, it just isn't possible. Now while you say that you go to a thought that feels better about the subject, you're not. You're finding thoughts about how things would feel better if conditions were different, but those aren't doing anything to allow you to FEEL BETTER about where you are. Feeling BETTER about where you are is the equivalent of moving from Phoenix to Buckeye, which is a town just west of Phoenix, on your way to San Diego.
    Quote Originally Posted by VVakeUp View Post
    10 minutes later, I remember again that it was actually another person that I almost drove into some days ago.
    Again, because you're still in Phoenix and no amount of wishing is going to get you to San Diego.
    Quote Originally Posted by VVakeUp View Post
    Going at once back to a thought that feels better again, but here starts a conflict, since then even thoughts like "Why is this coming up when I am here, standing like a guardian over my thoughts? And since I get bad thoughts about this again, I might cause an accident again soon", and I am back on square one.
    That's because you've never left square one. It keeps coming up because no matter how hard yu "wish," you're still in Phoenix. Until you stop trying to fix the conditions and actually start trying to FEEL BETTER about where you are, you just end up staying where you are.
    Quote Originally Posted by VVakeUp View Post
    And my whole morning, I've been thinking about "allowing myself to feel better", since that feels really good, but then still a customer calls me and cancels an appointment and one of my friends rages at me for no particular reason.
    That hasn't been what's going on. What's been going on is that through all of what you're doin, you just keep practicing your feeling of helplessness and vulnerability, which is exactly what LOA is reflecting back to you.

    Quote Originally Posted by VVakeUp View Post
    I guess that's the point, as you said, I cannot accept that my desires doesn't manifest. So in that case... how should I do?
    Conversely, that's also my point -- "not accepting" that conditions are the way they are doesn't make them change. It just gets you more of them. So what choice do you have? You're going to have to find a way to feel BETTER without the conditions changing.

    For example, instead of beating yourself up because you "almost" hit another car yesterday, you could reassure yourself instead. ALMOST hitting another car is still NOT hitting it. Sure, maybe you didn't have the kind of margin that you might like, but it's still NOT hitting the other car. You could reassure yourself that even experienced drivers sometimes ALMOST hit (but actually miss) other cars. In fact, sometimes experienced drivers DO have accidents and it doesn't have to be the end of the world. It's also not the case that you're "almost" hitting another car every moment you're driving your car. Plenty of time you're driving you're doing just fine.

    Do you see the difference between what you're doing and what I suggested? Rather than talking about how good it would feel if the conditions were different, I'm attempting to soothe the way you feel about where you are. Now the words I used may or may not help you feel better, but they certainly show you the direction that's going to get you results. The only way you're going to get where you want to go is to MAKE PEACE with where you are instead of continuing to war with it.

    Those aren't the only tools in your toolbox. You don't always have to address things head on. You have the ability to address different aspects instead of what you're used to. For example, you could spend more time focused on what you like about driving in the abstract, rather than your actual driving. You might focus on the convenience of being able to go where you want to go when you want to go. You might focus on how well the system of cars moving around works so well -- cars stay on their side of the road, stop when it's appropriate, etc. There are many ways you can feel better about this topic that don't require the conditions to be different.

  7. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by VVakeUp View Post

    Wow, thank you. Even though I already "knew" this since I've read similar stuff many times before, this really made me feel good and I will return to your post many times.

    I noticed early while reading the processes from AIIG that they are more roadsigns to reduce my resistance than some magic spell. And I understand the point of them, though the question how I should proceed is maybe more of this right now: I've been doing 1 process per 2 days for some weeks now and I can feel my resistance changing (?), but, when I write about myself as an energetic person who goes up in the morning without any issues, or I write a list over positive aspects and include my car and my job and feel great about it while doing it... well, I guess it's back to re-reading all of your replies now, since I am back where I started. I just fear that I am taking a step back in deliberately creating my reality. But I think I might, just as you say, feel bad about feeling bad and going to hard on myself.
    When you write about these things and feel bad, it is guidance, letting you know that your focus in on the other end of the stick.
    So just back off a little from the specifics, because maybe you have just got too specific.
    When you say "i write about myself as an energetic person who goes up in the morning with out any issues".....what have you focused on?
    that your source is not focused on?....without any ISSUES.....you are including what you DO NOT want into your writing, and your feeling it which is GREAT, your feeling your guidance letting you know you have done so! Isnt that good....even though your writing can "lie" if you will, for want of a better word, your EMOTIONS, your guidance DOES NOT LIE.

    So you just back off a little, write it in a more GENERAL, back off until you find something that does feel GOOD.

    Remember, it is all PRACTICE, and the work IS writing and FEELING and finding what feels off and taking another slant on it.
    THAT IS THE WORK.
    Your molding the clay, of your mind and your emotions.
    But maybe you say to yourself your doing it "wrong" and then you simply move further away from your inner being perspective.

    A good thing to remember, is that we are always doing one of two things.
    Either we are moving further away from our source perspecitive.
    Or we are moving TOWARDS that perspective.

    And our emotions are our guidance to that.

    And so it is GOOD that your aware when you start to feel bad, because you now understand that it simply means your looking at something in a way that your inner being does not. And then when you feel worse still because you beat yourself up for feeling bad, you feel even worse, because your moving even further away from the perspective that your inner being has about YOU.

    Because your inner being LOVES.
    Because your inner being does not look at your issues.
    Because your inner being ONLY LOOKS at your PERFECTION.

    Your inner being only sees you as you REALLY ARE in ETERNITY.

    Your inner being only sees the expansion that is YOU.
    When you do your writing, maybe focus more on where you have expanded TO, rather than where you have expanded FROM.
    Focus on what you think you have put into your VORTEX.
    Be less REALISTIC, be far less realistic, and more vortistic!!

    All the best.

  8. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by VVakeUp View Post
    I am totally with you on this. But I cannot get this to manifest in the reality.

    Let me give you an example.

    I wake up today.
    One of my first thoughts is "I will allow myself to feel better and to feel as a safer and better driver. It would feel great." Feeling great.

    I go and start doing my breakfest and 5 minutes later I remember that I almost crashed into another car yestarday. As soon as I notice that, I try to go back to a thought that feels better about the subject, or overall. Feeling better again.

    10 minutes later, I remember again that it was actually another person that I almost drove into some days ago. Going at once back to a thought that feels better again, but here starts a conflict, since then even thoughts like "Why is this coming up when I am here, standing like a guardian over my thoughts? And since I get bad thoughts about this again, I might cause an accident again soon", and I am back on square one.

    And my whole morning, I've been thinking about "allowing myself to feel better", since that feels really good, but then still a customer calls me and cancels an appointment and one of my friends rages at me for no particular reason.




    I guess that's the point, as you said, I cannot accept that my desires doesn't manifest. So in that case... how should I do?

    Remember that it takes practice for a baby to learn to walk. And when they fall over nobody says, "get up you little dummy", you know that they will get up again, and fall down again, and get up and fall down, until over time, they are able to be more stable on their feet, and then they will fall over less and less, until it becomes easier and easier.

  9. #19
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    When we focus on something for more than 17 seconds similar thoughts are drawn to us. So it is natural that when you think about a topic more thoughts about that topic come into your mind. That is simply LOA working in relation to your thoughts. And then your work is to choose thoughts about it that bring you emotional relief, that soothe the feeling about it.

    You could say, well I almost crashed, but I didn't crash, so I must be getting better.

    You could say, maybe this is coming up for me to clean it up, which is good.

    You could say, well almost driving into someone, is not the same as driving into them
    You could say, as Abraham did once.
    Does it matter if you miss them by a mile or an inch, it is still missing them!
    I missed them!
    I missed them!
    I am getting better at missing them, so I am getting better.

    And then a customer calls and cancels, because you cannot control conditions, but you can choose how to respond, you do not have to take it personally, maybe you took it less personally, now that is a good way to allow more. Okay I allow others to cancel an appointment, because I am an allower. But I know that things are always working out for me, no matter how it may seem, things are always working out for me.

    And one of my friends rages at me, for no reason....or rather for the reason that he way out of alignment and I happened to be there. And I can step back and look at my thoughts about this, and clean them up, and maybe it was an indicator of some vibration that I had going on about this person, or something, and its good because I get to clean how I feel about this UP.

    And when I do clean this up, I will not be a vibrational match to this kind of thing, but hang on maybe my friend was not the only one raging at me, maybe I was raging at me! And my friend is just an indicator of my raging at me! (only you can know this).

    But look how good I am getting at this, look at how much practice I have in my daily life to get good at this.

    Being a better allower, does NOT mean that my nest is feathered!
    It means that things happen and I deal with them better.
    I deal with them vibrationally, because I know that is the root cause of everything that comes to me.
    I deal with them emotionally, vibrationally, because I know that when I do, that I have improved that manifestation.
    And I know that is how we do the work, we live life and contrast happens, and we do the work of closing our gap.

    You are never going to be in a place where you are not experiencing contrast of life.
    But you do get more experienced and more able to stay stable.

    And you do notice more and more the correlation between when your in alignment and how your day goes, and when your not.

    Gosh, yesterday I was so out of alignment, and my computer was so slow and nothing worked out, and then when I left to go out, there was a car parked in the middle of the road so that I could not even drive, and the driver had left his car! And I just knew I had attracted that because it was a match to how I was FEELING! And in that moment of being stuck in my car not able to go any where and not knowing where the driver had gone, and feeling THAT, I just KNEW it was MY CREATION. My creation. It was not the drivers fault....It was me creating that rendezvous. Because I never feel like that, and that sort of thing never happens to me. IT was so obvious to me....It was almost funny, and in a very short time I let it go and felt a lot better, and today I am feeling so great again. So great. I feel so great today, and it is not dependant on anything other than my alignment with the Source perception within ME.

    And what comes to me, is always a match to ME, and I take full responsibility for both how I FEEL and what I ATTRACT.

    But it does take some practice and some learning and remembering and forgetting, and remembering again!!
    Because it is a skill, it is an understanding, but it is also a skill, that we are learning, that is why it is called THE ART of allowing. It is an art. And the more you practice the art, the better you get at it.

    But don't be fooled by thinking the better you get at it, then you better the manifestations are, and then use the manifestations to "judge" how good you are at it!! Because that is screwy! The better way is to be more aware of how you react to things, not to what things come to you.

    So the car is in the road, and you don't freak out, you don't beat yourself up about having "created it". You don't use it for a measure of your worth, your value as a deliberate creater (fun)! Because your worth is not dependant on any thing outside of your SELF. You know it is simply and INDICATOR of your VIBRATION, and your vibrational offering. It is NOT INDICATOR OF YOUR WORTH, OR YOUR VALUE.

    It is simply an indicator of your gap, in this moment of now, that is all. That is all.
    That is all EVERYTHING in your life IS.
    An indicator of your vibrational GAP.

    It is not good or bad, better or worse than, but simply an indicator of how much you have, up till this point in your life, been an allower, or a disallower, of the pure positive energy of Source, that is always within you. ALWAYS, regardless of whether, in the moment, you are allowing it or not. It is the larger part of YOU, It is the eternal part of YOU, it is who you really are. And why the work is simply to allow that knowing.

    I was reading a course in miracles this morning and this reminds me of part of the introduction where it says, the purpose of the course is not to teach the meaning of love because that is un teachable, but to remove the blocks to the awareness of loves presence.

    Isn't that exactly what we are doing here with Abrahams teachings, removing the blocks, the resistance to loves presence. Removing resistance to the perspective of Source, which is love.

  10. #20
    Quote Originally Posted by Marc View Post
    You haven't gotten it to manifest in your reality because you're going about things in a way they CANNOT work.

    That's exactly the "habit of thought" I described in my previous post. In your previous post you described it as a "wish," which is exactly what it is. To use Abraham's oft-told analogy of being in Phoenix and wanting to be in San Diego, what you're describing is using nice words to say, "I'm going to close my eyes and when I re-open them, I'm going to be in San Diego. It would feel great." When you open your eyes, you're going to discover that you're still in Phoenix because things don't work the way you're trying to get them to work.

    As I mentioned, you're still in Phoenix. You can't wish yourself to San Diego, it just isn't possible. Now while you say that you go to a thought that feels better about the subject, you're not. You're finding thoughts about how things would feel better if conditions were different, but those aren't doing anything to allow you to FEEL BETTER about where you are. Feeling BETTER about where you are is the equivalent of moving from Phoenix to Buckeye, which is a town just west of Phoenix, on your way to San Diego.

    Again, because you're still in Phoenix and no amount of wishing is going to get you to San Diego.

    That's because you've never left square one. It keeps coming up because no matter how hard yu "wish," you're still in Phoenix. Until you stop trying to fix the conditions and actually start trying to FEEL BETTER about where you are, you just end up staying where you are.

    That hasn't been what's going on. What's been going on is that through all of what you're doin, you just keep practicing your feeling of helplessness and vulnerability, which is exactly what LOA is reflecting back to you.


    Conversely, that's also my point -- "not accepting" that conditions are the way they are doesn't make them change. It just gets you more of them. So what choice do you have? You're going to have to find a way to feel BETTER without the conditions changing.

    For example, instead of beating yourself up because you "almost" hit another car yesterday, you could reassure yourself instead. ALMOST hitting another car is still NOT hitting it. Sure, maybe you didn't have the kind of margin that you might like, but it's still NOT hitting the other car. You could reassure yourself that even experienced drivers sometimes ALMOST hit (but actually miss) other cars. In fact, sometimes experienced drivers DO have accidents and it doesn't have to be the end of the world. It's also not the case that you're "almost" hitting another car every moment you're driving your car. Plenty of time you're driving you're doing just fine.

    Do you see the difference between what you're doing and what I suggested? Rather than talking about how good it would feel if the conditions were different, I'm attempting to soothe the way you feel about where you are. Now the words I used may or may not help you feel better, but they certainly show you the direction that's going to get you results. The only way you're going to get where you want to go is to MAKE PEACE with where you are instead of continuing to war with it.

    Those aren't the only tools in your toolbox. You don't always have to address things head on. You have the ability to address different aspects instead of what you're used to. For example, you could spend more time focused on what you like about driving in the abstract, rather than your actual driving. You might focus on the convenience of being able to go where you want to go when you want to go. You might focus on how well the system of cars moving around works so well -- cars stay on their side of the road, stop when it's appropriate, etc. There are many ways you can feel better about this topic that don't require the conditions to be different.
    This was really, really helpful. A big thank you. I remember reading about this in AAIG, but it didn't really get to be this "aha" moment until now.

    ALMOST hitting another car is still NOT hitting it. Sure, maybe you didn't have the kind of margin that you might like, but it's still NOT hitting the other car. You could reassure yourself that even experienced drivers sometimes ALMOST hit (but actually miss) other cars. In fact, sometimes experienced drivers DO have accidents and it doesn't have to be the end of the world. It's also not the case that you're "almost" hitting another car every moment you're driving your car. Plenty of time you're driving you're doing just fine.
    I might nitpick here, but as I remember, there is not any "no" in LOA? Thinking about how I don't hit cars, actually make me focus on hitting them?

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