Page 1 of 3 123 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 26

Thread: I'm New, I'm Lost, and Looking For Advice on How to Get the Guy

  1. #1

    I'm New, I'm Lost, and Looking For Advice on How to Get the Guy

    Hey all, I’m new here and looking to learn more about law of attraction. I’m currently going through what can only be described as a profound transition in my life. My life up until now has been very misguided. A life full of negativity, lacking in hope, etc. The older I get the more I’m realizing that I need to change.

    My reason for wanting to change my life and way of thinking is man related. A few years ago I met a man who I was instantly drawn to and felt that special spark. For the majority of my life I’ve been single. I just didn’t want to deal with men and knew it would take someone very, very special to make me change my mind on that. With this man I’ve found exactly that. The problem was that my feelings for him were full blown before I found out that he was in a serious relationship. He wasn’t hiding the fact from me, we just took a long time to really connect and discuss those things. Once I found out, I tried backing off. I tried distancing myself. I tried forgetting him. It just didn’t work. I couldn’t get him out of my head. So, as painful as it was to accept we would never come to be, I opted to try to maintain a friendship as it’s better than nothing. Also, just a disclaimer, even though I really like this guy I didn’t nor would I ever do anything to interfere with his relationship.

    Recently our friendship crumbled. I blamed myself thinking it was my fault, but once again I was misguided and wrong. Come to find out the issues were with him and not me. His relationship had fallen apart, he’s now single and our friendship is starting to come together again. We’re very much still in the rebuilding phase and even though it’s taking much longer than I’d like (patience has never been my strong point), I’m enjoying having him back in my life.

    With all of that said, I’m wondering what I need to be doing to make a relationship with him a reality. I’ve literally done everything I can think of up until this point. I’ve prayed to God, I’ve prayed to angels, I’ve prayed to anyone and everything I can think of. I’ve made wishes on every shooting star that I see. I’ve been looking for and asking for signs. One day, out of pure frustration I asked for a sign that it’ll work out with us someday. Later that night he contacted me out of the blue after months of not speaking. Part of me feels it was coincidence, but part of me wonders if it was really the sign I asked for.

    This may sound pathetic, but really I feel that HE is the one for me. HE is the one I was supposed to meet on the day that I met him (I did have other plans that day – it just so happened those plans changed and it directed me to his path). Law of attraction is very new to me. I’ve been trying to manifest things with him, unsuccessfully thus far. I am still new to this though. My main problem right now is letting go of negativity and doubts. I have a real problem with not knowing how it’s going to play out and not having answers to the many questions I keep asking. I just can’t seem to figure out how to relax and let go of those negative thoughts/feelings which I’m reading will slow the process down. Do you have any advice there?

    Also, a couple of questions. Regarding the sign of him reaching out to me the day that I specifically asked, what is your opinion on that? Was it really a sign or a coincidence? Also, ever since I met him, he’s been in my head (going on 3 years now). Is this part of the law of attraction or is it just my obsessive personality/wanting him so badly? I’ve heard it said that when someone’s on your mind like this, they’re supposed to be there, but why is that?

  2. #2
    Beloved Woman paradise-on-earth's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    Location
    Elfengarten, Germany
    Posts
    66,447
    Quote Originally Posted by SoulSearcher View Post
    Hey all, I’m new here and looking to learn more about law of attraction. I’m currently going through what can only be described as a profound transition in my life. My life up until now has been very misguided. A life full of negativity, lacking in hope, etc. The older I get the more I’m realizing that I need to change.
    SoulSearcher!
    Let´s jump in just right here!

    Your life was NOT "misguided", but you did not understand the guidance you always got.
    Your emotions are your guidance: What feels good, IS good.
    I highly recommend reading at least through one Abe-book to get their teaching in whole (no matter which one you pick, but the "Vortex" might be most helpful in regards to relationships).

    Also, here is a quote-collection about what the guidance-system is:
    Guidance system


    My reason for wanting to change my life and way of thinking is man related.
    Isn´t it interesting that many of us (you are by far not alone in that) are not willing to change their approach to life simply because it would FEEL so much better- but because they have the motive of getting money (to feel better) or the mate (to feel better) or because of helping others, as their children (so that they can feel better)

    And, it´s ok! That´s how our goals manage to "Draw us through life- and life through us." (Abe)

    A few years ago I met a man who I was instantly drawn to and felt that special spark. For the majority of my life I’ve been single. I just didn’t want to deal with men and knew it would take someone very, very special to make me change my mind on that. With this man I’ve found exactly that. The problem was that my feelings for him were full blown before I found out that he was in a serious relationship. He wasn’t hiding the fact from me, we just took a long time to really connect and discuss those things. Once I found out, I tried backing off. I tried distancing myself. I tried forgetting him. It just didn’t work. I couldn’t get him out of my head.
    Again, this is how life goes. You had distanced yourself from big parts of a fulfilled joyful life, and "the next step from your Vortex" was to send you contrast- aka a man who was able to resonate with you intensely, to stirr your old habits and believes, so that you could become more ALIVE and willing to expand into all your (maybe suppressed) desires.


    There are NO MISTAKES,

    there are just opportunities
    for greater, and greater, and greater CLARITY, you see.

    Asheville, 21.11.2015

    So, as painful as it was to accept we would never come to be
    You CAN not know that.
    I just want to stick in that- per example- both Jerry and Esther were married otherwise, when they met each other.

    Never "accept" that a desire of yours would be impossible! Don´t figure out "how" you could change things in action-journeys, but SOLELY learn to line up with the essence of what you desire, with the wonderful emotions that are in the core of your wish- and feel them, allow them to be experienced/felt/adored by you, UNCONDITIONALLY. And watch what happens!

    I opted to try to maintain a friendship as it’s better than nothing. Also, just a disclaimer, even though I really like this guy I didn’t nor would I ever do anything to interfere with his relationship.
    That´s honorable. But really it´s not your job to figure out any "how" this desire to be in love-relationship should unfold- only focus on all ideas/thoughts/dreams/visions/memories, that feels as joyful relief to you- or even really really good. Bask in each specificness that makes you moan in delight! Because, THIS is what source "knows to be true"! And more than that THIS is what feeeels so good! On the other hand, when specific ideas or visions feel off, don´t go there. Instead be as general about it as necessary so that you still feel good with them- meaning, opt for embracing the EMOTIONS that you want to experience, or even go completely off topic.

    You don´t know what the "best" path really is, for any of you, in the big schema of things!
    But you always know what would feel good to YOU, here and now. And so your job is to follow that, and line up with that, period. Follow the trail of joy, or at least the trail of relief.

    Recently our friendship crumbled. I blamed myself thinking it was my fault,
    Source never blames us for anything, as we are where we are and can only do what we are ABLE to do from that stance.

    But in the basis, EVERYTHING that happens to you, is caused by your expectations, beliefs and vibration. So, it´s ALWAYS "your fault" in the sense of "you did that".


    but once again I was misguided and wrong.
    Again- when you are OOTV, you are NOT ABLE to see the truth of what source knows to be true. You only see a big misconception/distortion of the truth. So, your guidance was there, you just didn´t know how to decipher it.

    Abe teach that when you are OOTV, there is only 1 thing to do: Relax and get back ITV, in any way that works for you- on the path of you, allowing to soothe and feel better.

    Come to find out the issues were with him and not me. His relationship had fallen apart, he’s now single and our friendship is starting to come together again. We’re very much still in the rebuilding phase and even though it’s taking much longer than I’d like (patience has never been my strong point), I’m enjoying having him back in my life.
    ITV, there is no need for patience- because you feel joyful NO MATTER WHAT.
    ITV, you love and enjoy life, UNCONDITIONALLY.
    ITV, you are enjoying the path, without need to have it all "perfect", yet.

    With all of that said, I’m wondering what I need to be doing to make a relationship with him a reality.
    Here are quote-collections that give perfect answers to your question!

    The Fun of Dating

    Quotes about how to deal with "Fred"

    I’ve literally done everything I can think of up until this point. I’ve prayed to God, I’ve prayed to angels, I’ve prayed to anyone and everything I can think of. I’ve made wishes on every shooting star that I see.
    WHENEVER you are "asking" (=praying), it´s given immedeately.
    But, it´s given in vibrational form, and now your job is to allow YOUR vibration to raise, so that it becomes a match with what you prayed for.

    Feel better. Find relief.
    Focus on what IS working. Find a betterfeeling stance to look at life.
    Appreciate more, and drop what feels bad, more.
    "GET HAPPY." (Abe)

    And from this happy vibrational stance, you get ready to be ABLE to "see", aka "get" what source is giving you all the time, upon what you have prayed for!

    I’ve been looking for and asking for signs. One day, out of pure frustration I asked for a sign that it’ll work out with us someday. Later that night he contacted me out of the blue after months of not speaking. Part of me feels it was coincidence, but part of me wonders if it was really the sign I asked for.
    not mocking you AT ALL (I´ve been there and done that myriads of times as well), but isn´t that funny?

    Of course it was a "sign". But- do you realize what happened? YOU are not "in vibrational vicinity" to trust it, even you got it! And you want to cut THAT out, in getting ready to trust and enjoy and maintain what you get. Aka- in preparing your vibe for delight and love and fulfilling joy, in TRAINING yourself into this emotions, by practicing them in babysteps every day, whenever it feels good to do so.

    This may sound pathetic, but really I feel that HE is the one for me. HE is the one I was supposed to meet on the day that I met him (I did have other plans that day – it just so happened those plans changed and it directed me to his path).
    He certainly resonates with you, here and now! And that´s all you need, here and now. Don´t cling to it, when it starts to feel tense. Just ENJOY it and let yourself be inspired and "drawn" by it as long as it feels good and as relief.

    Law of attraction is very new to me. I’ve been trying to manifest things with him, unsuccessfully thus far. I am still new to this though. My main problem right now is letting go of negativity and doubts. I have a real problem with not knowing how it’s going to play out and not having answers to the many questions I keep asking. I just can’t seem to figure out how to relax and let go of those negative thoughts/feelings which I’m reading will slow the process down. Do you have any advice there?
    Practice, practice, practice! This is an art.
    You don´t learn it by demanding it or snapping your fingers. Highlight your successes. Celebrate your (even tiny) triumphes. Value ALL emotions, because they are ALL guidance. (when you feel worse, this is source telling you: "colder! Colder! Turn around!")

    ENJOY the process. ENJOY the path! You will never get this "done", there will be always more, and that´s a good thing- because it´s a fantastic joyful unfolding- eternally.


    Often you think that you want to launch the desire
    and you want to get it.
    Boom. Boom. Boom.
    "I want to know what I want, I want to want it,
    I want to launch it, I want to line up, and I want to
    get it."

    We say, yes you do and we want that for you,
    we want that for you, we want that for you...

    ...but we LOVE the process of life.

    We love the process, the delicious process of choosing,
    and the delicious process of launching the rocket,
    and the delicious process of knowing
    that you're not keenly in alignment with it
    or maybe not even close to it.
    And then the process of deliberately lining up with it.
    And then the conscious awareness of following your impulses,
    that intuition,
    that feeling of flow,
    that feeling of empowerment,
    that feeling of walking on air,
    that feeling of knowing you can do no wrong,
    that feeling of all things working out for you.

    And THEN, the manifestation!

    LA, 1/26/13


    Also, a couple of questions. Regarding the sign of him reaching out to me the day that I specifically asked, what is your opinion on that? Was it really a sign or a coincidence?
    All coincidences are "signs", as LoA ALWAYS brings you exactly what matches your vibration. Here is more:

    "Signs" are only LoA, reflecting where you are, vibrationally.

    Also, ever since I met him, he’s been in my head (going on 3 years now). Is this part of the law of attraction or is it just my obsessive personality/wanting him so badly? I’ve heard it said that when someone’s on your mind like this, they’re supposed to be there, but why is that?
    Source will always guide you- as they know what you really want, and when you go/focus towards that, you feel wonderful.
    When you walk/focus away from that, you feel the discord between what you think, and what source knows to be "true".
    But still, you get to choose every single bit! What comes to you is always- no exceptions- because you (consciously or because of default) have activated and "called" it to you.

    When you like it, keep that going.
    When you don´t like it, find ways that feel better to you, to deal with them. There is no "destiny" in the way that man normally thinks about it. EVERYTHING that comes to you is chosen by you. Here is more about that:

    Destiny?
    Last edited by paradise-on-earth; 05-02-2017 at 02:26 AM. Reason: misleading typo

  3. #3
    Thank you for such a well thought out and information response. I’ll do my best to be as clear as possible in my questions and response.

    Your life was NOT "misguided", but you did not understand the guidance you always got.
    Your emotions are your guidance: What feels good, IS good.
    I highly recommend reading at least through one Abe-book to get their teaching in whole (no matter which one you pick, but the "Vortex" might be most helpful in regards to relationships).
    I will definitely check out that book. I need all the insight I can get at this point to turn things around. As far as using emotion as guidance and believing that what feels good is good, I think that I’ve let fear scare me away from everything good that I’ve ever felt. Even with this particular man I was close to running when things got too heated. It’s a mix of being afraid to get too close, afraid of disappointment after allowing myself to get too excited over the possibility that a relationship may come to be, a fear of getting hurt. Those are all negative emotions which of course make a person feel badly. So, if I’m following this correctly these are the things I need to stop thinking about and just focus on how good it feels to be around him?

    Again, this is how life goes. You had distanced yourself from big parts of a fulfilled joyful life, and "the next step from your Vortex" was to send you contrast- aka a man who was able to resonate with you intensely, to stirr your old habits and believes, so that you could become more ALIVE and willing to expand into all your (maybe suppressed) desires.
    So, this means that because I met this man at this particular moment in time when it was not meant to be (at least not as I had planned) that the universe conspired to make it happen? This is the universe’s way of making me see something bigger than myself and how I’ve lived my life? In a way, even though I believe that it wasn’t meant to happen this way, the universe clearly meant for it to happen this way? If this is the case, the universe certainly won because I’ve never in my life felt such a strong desire for anything. Even though we’re only friends at the moment he literally means the world to me.

    Never "accept" that a desire of yours would be impossible! Don´t figure out "how" you could change things in action-journeys, but SOLELY learn to line up with the essence of what you desire, with the wonderful emotions that are in the core of your wish- and feel them, allow them to be experienced/felt/adored by you, UNCONDITIONALLY. And watch what happens!
    By saying this, do you mean to focus on the good memories only and bask in those happy times when I just felt so at ease and yes in love with him? Just continue to focus on those and let the universe do its thing to make it all happen?

    This will sound REALLY silly, but often times I’ll actually fantasize about having talks with him. Things I want to say to him. How I feel he’d respond, or at least how I hope he’d respond. I think having these fake discussions helps as they do keep me happy and feel as though we do have a connection. Does this type of thing help in reality? Should I try to stop thinking about him and daydreaming about him so much?

    That’s honorable. But really it´s not your job to figure out any "how" this desire to be in love-relationship should unfold- only focus on all ideas/thoughts/dreams/visions/memories, that feels as joyful relief to you- or even really really good. Bask in each specificness that makes you moan in delight! Because, THIS is what source "knows to be true"! And more than that THIS is what feeeels so good! On the other hand, when specific ideas or visions feel off, don´t go there. Instead be as general about it as necessary so that you still feel good with them- meaning, opt for embracing the EMOTIONS that you want to experience, or even go completely off topic.

    You don´t know what the "best" path really is, for any of you, in the big schema of things!
    But you always know what would feel good to YOU, here and now. And so your job is to follow that, and line up with that, period. Follow the trail of joy, or at least the trail of relief.
    This is a big problem for me. I’m trying, stressing, and worrying too much to make this happen. I’m focusing too much on what I should be saying or how I should be acting when I’m around him. I’m not being fake around him, I’m being me, but there’s just so much I want to do and say and so little time that we’re actually together. This leaves me feeling stressed, overwhelmed, frustrated, sad, etc. I know, again these are bad emotions that I need to learn how to eliminate.

    I also worry about the “hows” and “what ifs”. As badly as I want this man in my life, part of me (a very big part of me) is constantly worried that he’s going to make up with his ex and get back together or find another girl to date before giving it a go with me. It’s constantly in the back of my head. I know it’s making matters worse for me, but I just don’t know how to stop it.

    ITV, there is no need for patience- because you feel joyful NO MATTER WHAT.
    ITV, you love and enjoy life, UNCONDITIONALLY.
    ITV, you are enjoying the path, without need to have it all "perfect", yet.
    I have a HUGE problem with this. I’m not a patient person so this is going to be a real struggle for me. I know it won’t happen overnight and I’m really trying to enjoy this journey while trusting the process, but I want instant gratification. I know it won’t happen that way, but to patient… for how long? This could literally take years and I just don’t know if I can handle waiting that long. I keep asking myself what’s the worse thing that can happen? It either won’t work out between us or maybe I’ll meet someone new. The trouble is, I don’t want to meet anyone new. I know I can’t stop living life while waiting, but at the same time he means so much to me I can’t imagine this going anywhere without him. It’s a vicious cycle I keep finding myself in.

    Of course it was a "sign". But- do you realize what happened? YOU are not "in vibrational vicinity" to trust it, even you got it! And you want to cut THAT out, in getting ready to trust and enjoy and maintain what you get. Aka- in preparing your vibe for delight and love and fulfilling joy, in TRAINING yourself into this emotions, by practicing them in babysteps every day, whenever it feels good to do so.
    Ok, so it was a sure sign that I need to accept, know, trust, and relish? This is a good thing. I just need to kick those bad emotions out and keep them at bay. That’ll take some work. Some very hard work.

    All coincidences are "signs", as LoA ALWAYS brings you exactly what matches your vibration. Here is more:

    "Signs" are only LoA, reflecting where you are, vibrationally.
    This isn’t the first time that I’ve asked for signs. I ask for signs all of the time. I don’t always get them though, in fact I’d say I rarely get them. Why would that be?

  4. #4
    Beloved Woman paradise-on-earth's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    Location
    Elfengarten, Germany
    Posts
    66,447
    Quote Originally Posted by SoulSearcher View Post
    Thank you for such a well thought out and information response. I’ll do my best to be as clear as possible in my questions and response.

    I will definitely check out that book.
    I think, it´s really the basis of understanding how it all ties together!

    I need all the insight I can get at this point to turn things around.
    Actually, not.
    Animals do that without intellectual insights- they just care for feeling good- and everything gets covered. But of course I get what you say- it´s not so easy to drop what you have trained into you, all of a sudden. But once you really care for feeling good, it becomes really easy.


    As far as using emotion as guidance and believing that what feels good is good, I think that I’ve let fear scare me away from everything good that I’ve ever felt.
    That happens to really almost everyone. Just soothe yourself a bit. Nothing went REALLY wrong. You can have a fresh new start, every day.

    Even with this particular man I was close to running when things got too heated. It’s a mix of being afraid to get too close, afraid of disappointment after allowing myself to get too excited over the possibility that a relationship may come to be, a fear of getting hurt. Those are all negative emotions which of course make a person feel badly. So, if I’m following this correctly these are the things I need to stop thinking about and just focus on how good it feels to be around him?
    Basically, YES. That´s "the work". But as you can imagine, you are trained otherwise aka you have momentum in an unwanted way. So your TRUE work is to slowly, gently "brake" that momentum bit by bit. Soothe yourself into letting go the fear and doubt, again and again, and gently and slowly learn to re-focus on what feels a bit better, and a bit better still- or even completely good. It´s babysteps, for all of us, in the beginning!

    So, this means that because I met this man at this particular moment in time when it was not meant to be (at least not as I had planned) that the universe conspired to make it happen? This is the universe’s way of making me see something bigger than myself and how I’ve lived my life? In a way, even though I believe that it wasn’t meant to happen this way, the universe clearly meant for it to happen this way?
    Lets say this a bit differently- this man was "your path of least resistance" to let a lot of what you really wanted, and what you had blocked some time, flow to you.

    It´s not that the Universe "conspired" against you. It found a way to deliver at least some of what you wanted- as far as you ALLOWED it.

    If this is the case, the universe certainly won because I’ve never in my life felt such a strong desire for anything. Even though we’re only friends at the moment he literally means the world to me.
    That feels ALIVE, yes?
    The Universe has your back and knows what you can allow!

    By saying this, do you mean to focus on the good memories only and bask in those happy times when I just felt so at ease and yes in love with him? Just continue to focus on those and let the universe do its thing to make it all happen?
    Whenever this feels GOOD, yes!

    This will sound REALLY silly, but often times I’ll actually fantasize about having talks with him. Things I want to say to him. How I feel he’d respond, or at least how I hope he’d respond. I think having these fake discussions helps as they do keep me happy and feel as though we do have a connection. Does this type of thing help in reality?
    It FEELS GOOD, right? SO, here you have an evidence that most people dump for no reason: FEELING GOOD!
    And also, yes, this will net you MORE that feels good as well! LoA makes it so. You attract what you vibrate.

    Should I try to stop thinking about him and daydreaming about him so much?
    When it FEELS GOOD- why would you?

    This is a big problem for me. I’m trying, stressing, and worrying too much to make this happen. I’m focusing too much on what I should be saying or how I should be acting when I’m around him. I’m not being fake around him, I’m being me, but there’s just so much I want to do and say and so little time that we’re actually together. This leaves me feeling stressed, overwhelmed, frustrated, sad, etc. I know, again these are bad emotions that I need to learn how to eliminate.
    You can´t "eliminate" anything, because in your battle against it, you make it bigger. Just RELAX about it. Relax "into the fear" or the worry, or the pain. Stop battling. Stop efforting. Find anything that feels joyful instead! (A good movie? Happy music? A small workout? Soaking in a hot bath? Meeting funny friends?)

    I also worry about the “hows” and “what ifs”. As badly as I want this man in my life, part of me (a very big part of me) is constantly worried that he’s going to make up with his ex and get back together or find another girl to date before giving it a go with me. It’s constantly in the back of my head. I know it’s making matters worse for me, but I just don’t know how to stop it.
    That´s the "Momentum" you have trained yourself into. Just train it out of yourself, again- in slow, small, maintainable steps.
    Soothe yourself as a loving mother, or a wise friendly Sage. You will find the best words!

    I have a HUGE problem with this. I’m not a patient person so this is going to be a real struggle for me.
    Such dramatic statements work against you. Try to soothe them, as well! How about stating sentences as "Maybe this is easier than I think? Maybe I´ll get really good when I just try a few days? Maybe this really is fun?" (Because, it is )

    I know it won’t happen overnight and I’m really trying to enjoy this journey while trusting the process, but I want instant gratification.
    That´s given: When you did it "right", you´ll feel INSTANT relief. Or even real easy, as light shining into your heart. Try it, and watch for those small evidences. Don´t trample them, though!

    I know it won’t happen that way, but to patient… for how long?
    For about 16 seconds. That´s how fast LoA kicks in and brings you an EMOTION that feels better, as evidence.

    This could literally take years
    ah ah, here we´r getting dramatic again, right? Cut that out. It doesn´t FEEL GOOD, right? And so, source knows it to not be true.

    and I just don’t know if I can handle waiting that long.
    So, then become sensitive and feeeel for the (almost) instant evidence of feeling better! You became a clumsy energy- trampler in your dramatic attitude (as almost everyone on their journey). Just start to look for the SUBTLE, small joy. It sums up SO FAST, when you don´t trample the small seedlings, in the beginning.

    I keep asking myself what’s the worse thing that can happen?
    The worst thing that happens when you learn to bget UNCONDITIONALLY happy, is that you become happy and he doesn´t like that and goes away. But then, you´ll attract a guy that likes a happy mate. So, not so much lost here, imo.

    It either won’t work out between us or maybe I’ll meet someone new. The trouble is, I don’t want to meet anyone new. I know I can’t stop living life while waiting, but at the same time he means so much to me I can’t imagine this going anywhere without him. It’s a vicious cycle I keep finding myself in.
    What do you prefer- getting happy, and maybe meeting another happy man, or being "right" and pushing yourself to wrestle this specific guy to the ground and carry him home, while he´s kicking and screaming?
    Ok, so it was a sure sign that I need to accept, know, trust, and relish?
    Trust comes gradually, by life-experience. Just give it a chance to unfold. Just watch what happens, while you are happy- simply because that FEELS Good. Not because that might net you a guy, or trust, or whatever.

    This is a good thing. I just need to kick those bad emotions out and keep them at bay. That’ll take some work. Some very hard work.
    How does "Hard work" feel to you? It doesn´t sond so joyful.

    How about "this will be about me, learning to be happy! This will take much ease, allowed by me. This will need me, laughing. This will take "the terrible price of getting happy" (Abe)


    This isn’t the first time that I’ve asked for signs. I ask for signs all of the time. I don’t always get them though, in fact I’d say I rarely get them. Why would that be?
    Because, in your worry, struggle and fear, you are "blind" to them.

  5. #5
    Actually, not.
    Animals do that without intellectual insights- they just care for feeling good- and everything gets covered. But of course I get what you say- it´s not so easy to drop what you have trained into you, all of a sudden. But once you really care for feeling good, it becomes really easy.
    It’s funny you say this because before I knew this man was in a relationship and I thought he was actually expressing interest in me, I remember walking around like I was on cloud 9. Permanent smile on my face with an extra bounce in my step. It was pure bliss! I LOVE that feeling and want it back. I just need to figure out HOW to get it back. It’s certainly better than feeling the way I am right now. I literally feel like I have a dark cloud over my head with the occasional crack to allow a bit sunshine in. I want to be happy. I really do.

    Basically, YES. That´s "the work". But as you can imagine, you are trained otherwise aka you have momentum in an unwanted way. So your TRUE work is to slowly, gently "brake" that momentum bit by bit. Soothe yourself into letting go the fear and doubt, again and again, and gently and slowly learn to re-focus on what feels a bit better, and a bit better still- or even completely good. It´s babysteps, for all of us, in the beginning!
    Thank you. I really need to remind myself that babysteps are still progress. I get so caught up in wanting to be better now… completely. I know that’s not reality and that it’s going to take work.

    Lets say this a bit differently- this man was "your path of least resistance" to let a lot of what you really wanted, and what you had blocked some time, flow to you.

    It´s not that the Universe "conspired" against you. It found a way to deliver at least some of what you wanted- as far as you ALLOWED it.
    I don’t think I said that part clearly enough. I wasn’t trying to imply that I felt as though the universe was conspiring against me at all. What I meant was that at the time I had no interest in meeting a man that might end up becoming a substantial part of my future. I had no interest or desire (unless it was subconsciously) for any of this, but yet it played out the way it did. I guess what I was saying or asking was if the universe KNEW that putting me on this path would lead me to my potential “soul mate”. This man and I share a LOT of the same passions (I wish I could go more into detail here because it is important, but I feel uncomfortable putting some stuff out there). I feel as though there’s an intense connection between us. I honestly feel as though WE are meant to be. Of course, these are all my feelings. I really don’t know what his feelings are towards me. He shows romantic interest in some ways, but it could be my inexperience in dealing with men which is making me read his signals wrong. Either way, a friendship is there. He made the initial effort to start rebuilding it. I hope this is a good sign of what’s to come.

    That feels ALIVE, yes?
    The Universe has your back and knows what you can allow!
    So, my desire is already out there. The universe knows and is working on delivering it to me. Now it’s my job to sit back and wait for it to unfold in good timing while trying to stay on a positive, happy, feel good path? Oy… this is going to take some mental work on my part.

    Whenever this feels GOOD, yes!

    It FEELS GOOD, right? SO, here you have an evidence that most people dump for no reason: FEELING GOOD!
    And also, yes, this will net you MORE that feels good as well! LoA makes it so. You attract what you vibrate.
    So today I’ve been trying to focus on the good times we shared. Remembering times he made me feel so happy and safe around him. Remembering the private jokes we shared. When I caught myself going to the “what ifs” and worries, I made a conscious effort to change my thoughts back to the happy times. It helped today. Still much work to do. I do wonder, to the most experienced and practiced LOA’ers, do the negative thoughts stop completely or is this a lifelong “problem”.

    Such dramatic statements work against you. Try to soothe them, as well! How about stating sentences as "Maybe this is easier than I think? Maybe I´ll get really good when I just try a few days? Maybe this really is fun?" (Because, it is )
    Thanks. I really think a “one day at a time” attitude is best. Looking long term just seems so overwhelming. More baby steps.
    ah ah, here we´r getting dramatic again, right? Cut that out. It doesn´t FEEL GOOD, right? And so, source knows it to not be true.
    No, it certainly doesn’t feel good at all. What do you mean by source?

    The worst thing that happens when you learn to bget UNCONDITIONALLY happy, is that you become happy and he doesn´t like that and goes away. But then, you´ll attract a guy that likes a happy mate. So, not so much lost here, imo.

    What do you prefer- getting happy, and maybe meeting another happy man, or being "right" and pushing yourself to wrestle this specific guy to the ground and carry him home, while he´s kicking and screaming?
    What you’re saying makes perfect sense and I do agree with it. Happiness with or without him should certainly be the priority. The thing is, as I’ve said before, I’ve never felt this way about any man before. There is something about him that I just find so amazing and I feel like I can’t live without. I just don’t see having these feelings for anyone else and it scares me. I didn’t “want” to meet him. I didn’t “ask” to meet him. Dating was not on my radar, but yet we were brought together. In my mind, there just HAS to be a reason for it. There has to be a purpose. There has to be something there or else why would our paths cross the way they did. I don’t know. It just seems cruel if we were brought together in these circumstances if it was just a coincidence. I know this probably sounds sad, probably a bit pathetic, and whiny, and it’s obviously negative, but if there’s a reason for everything and if there are no coincidences in life, there has got to be an explanation on why we were brought together and why I feel the way I do about him. Why would I have such strong feelings if it wasn’t meant to go anywhere with him.

    Because, in your worry, struggle and fear, you are "blind" to them.
    I certainly can’t disagree with this one. I’m hoping on this journey my eyes and mind will be more alert to them.

  6. #6
    Beloved Woman paradise-on-earth's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    Location
    Elfengarten, Germany
    Posts
    66,447
    Quote Originally Posted by SoulSearcher View Post
    It’s funny you say this because before I knew this man was in a relationship and I thought he was actually expressing interest in me, I remember walking around like I was on cloud 9. Permanent smile on my face with an extra bounce in my step. It was pure bliss! I LOVE that feeling and want it back. I just need to figure out HOW to get it back.
    That´s easy:
    "Stop pressing your cork under water. If you let go of it, it will bob back to the surface, all on it´s own" (Abe)

    Gradually stop your worry- just by deciding to NOT think those thoughts further, and then thinking something more joyful, INSTEAD.

    Allow your joy to rear it´s head. Milk when a sunbeam found you. Become AWARE of the goodness around you all day long (topic completely irrelevant). Milk what´s easy to appreciate, this trains your vibration upwards: recognice and ENJOY what is lovely. This is "the paradigm shift" you´r looking for.

    -And RELAX more! Sleep whenever you feel depleted, meditate, let go of "issues" and look for the wanted sides in all things.

    It’s certainly better than feeling the way I am right now. I literally feel like I have a dark cloud over my head with the occasional crack to allow a bit sunshine in. I want to be happy. I really do.
    It´s NO HARD WORK.
    To the contrary. It´s letting go of the hardship.

    Thank you. I really need to remind myself that babysteps are still progress. I get so caught up in wanting to be better now… completely. I know that’s not reality and that it’s going to take work.


    A happy life is just a string
    of happy moments.

    But most people don't allow the happy moment,
    because they're so busy trying to get a happy life.


    Abraham-Hicks

    I don’t think I said that part clearly enough. I wasn’t trying to imply that I felt as though the universe was conspiring against me at all.
    I´ve got you, sorry for having put my response in this way! My fault. I just wanted to make the point.

    What I meant was that at the time I had no interest in meeting a man that might end up becoming a substantial part of my future. I had no interest or desire (unless it was subconsciously) for any of this, but yet it played out the way it did. I guess what I was saying or asking was if the universe KNEW that putting me on this path would lead me to my potential “soul mate”.
    Every tiny detail of any desire you ever gathered is KNOWN by "who you REALLY are".

    Abe teach that just a part of the vibrational "soul" that we are has focused physically into this body. The other, much bigger part is still in non-physical, while it´s focused ON YOU in your here and now- always on the wanted aspects of everything that you live, and each tiny desire that life causes you to get, is backed up immediately by this nonphysical part of you. Abe call this part "inner being" (IB) or source- and explain that it´s what man wants to call God. But we tend to be so mixed up by this term "God" and have all kinds of screwy ideas about God, that they invented a different term: Source.

    This man and I share a LOT of the same passions (I wish I could go more into detail here because it is important, but I feel uncomfortable putting some stuff out there).
    The ONLY thing that really is important is that you FEEL GOOD.

    You don´t have to inform us, you don´t have to stick to facts, you don´t have to explain yourself. We here on Forum, or all other people, really are irrelevant. We can soothe you, at best. Your guidance comes from within, from source! Source KNOWS what you want, and it´s given! All the rest is just about you, getting into the high-vibrating stance where you allow yourself to let it in.

    I feel as though there’s an intense connection between us. I honestly feel as though WE are meant to be. Of course, these are all my feelings. I really don’t know what his feelings are towards me.
    ...and they don´t really matter.
    Because he can be as pinched off from his best as you have been, right? And in this OOTV-ness he can´t "see".

    But when you are focusing in love, joy, ease, peace on what "really is", you become mightily attractive. Abe have said, one who is in alignment with who-they-really-are (aka, feeling joyful, that´s the indicator of this alignment between you and source within you), is more powerful than millions who are not in alignment.

    He still can be so resistant to this love and joy, that you don´t "draw him hin". But really, would you want a partner who is intensely resistant against love and joy?

    And also- if he wouldn´t be a good match to what you desire, you would NOT be called/attracted to him. Then he would be invisible to you. That´s just how this things work.


    "But what if he doesn´t want me?"

    When we say:
    THERE IS NOTHING
    THAT YOU CANNOT BE OR DO OR HAVE,
    we´r not kidding you, not even a little bit!


    Because the power of your focus is everything.

    But what happens is, you complicate it by saying:
    But there are other people who are the creator of their reality
    and what if they don‘t want me to be in their reality?
    What if I want them to be in my reality, but they don‘t want me ...
    in other words-
    WHAT IF I WANT IT, BUT THEY DON'T WANT IT? WHO WINS?

    And we say:
    It´s not a matter of any sort of competition.
    It´s a matter of YOU, achieving vibrational alignment
    with what you want
    - and the universe will deliver it to you, somehow- some way.

    (snip)

    We, in the past, have qualified this kind of conversation by saying
    that if you focus upon the essence of what you want,
    and you don´t get bogged down in the details, that as the details fill in,
    they will be more pleasing to you even in the details,
    that you originally thought that you where reaching for.


    But that is unsatisfying to most people.
    Because, they think that this is our run-around.
    They think, that is our way of just appeasing you,
    and saying you‘re NOT really gonna get what you want,
    but you‘re gonna get something that you´ll like pretty good
    - so just "go after something that you like pretty good, and that will come."
    But that´s not what we´re saying, either!


    WE ARE SAYING TO YOU THAT
    - WHATEVER IT IS! - THAT YOU FOCUS UPON,
    MUST COME TO YOU unless you contradict it,
    with your own, contradictory focus.

    End of story.



    - Abraham Hicks.


    He shows romantic interest in some ways, but it could be my inexperience in dealing with men which is making me read his signals wrong. Either way, a friendship is there. He made the initial effort to start rebuilding it. I hope this is a good sign of what’s to come.
    Stop looking for other "signs" than how YOU FEEL in the moment, for just a little while.
    Don´t make this about how he thinks or if he´s ready.

    This is ALL ABOUT YOU-
    and if you are tuned to the presence of your desire, or not.
    That´s totally unconditionally.
    As soon you let yourself get distracted by looking for the conditions to carry you, you lose your power.

    So, my desire is already out there. The universe knows and is working on delivering it to me. Now it’s my job to sit back and wait for it to unfold
    Not really. Don´t "wait"! FOCUS on what you feel joyful about. Again- the topic is irrelevant, your vibration is crucial.

    When your vibe is joyful, happy, at ease, peaceful, free-flowing, ALL GOOD THINGS can come to you.
    And that is not "waiting". It´s living a joyful life, "no matter what". It´s actually the most fulfilling, empowered and free stance you can imagine.

    in good timing while trying to stay on a positive, happy, feel good path? Oy… this is going to take some mental work on my part.
    Whatever it takes, here and now.
    It can be reading a great book. It can be journaling. It can be going out and adoring nature. It can be unfolding in a hobby. It can be meditating. What ever floats your cork- now, now, now.

    So today I’ve been trying to focus on the good times we shared. Remembering times he made me feel so happy and safe around him. Remembering the private jokes we shared. When I caught myself going to the “what ifs” and worries, I made a conscious effort to change my thoughts back to the happy times. It helped today. Still much work to do. I do wonder, to the most experienced and practiced LOA’ers, do the negative thoughts stop completely or is this a lifelong “problem”.
    You get to the point where you embrace the "contrast"- aka what you don´t want so much, as INSPIRATION of what you really prefer, and as INDICATION of what you have going on.

    You learn how to deal with the "unwanted"- in reaping the clarity from it, and seeing it as wake-up-call to adjust your vibe to what feels better. It makes you aware and clear, and in this you become as a sculptor who works with clay:
    You WANT to see what is happening, so that you can make new decisions when things start to turn out in unwanted ways! You WANT to see when things go south just a bit, so that you can "mold the clay" (aka think better feeling thoughts) to your liking.

    And so, yes, "contrast" will always be there. But it loses it´s sting. Really, after a while it feels enlivening, inspiring, clarifying, HELPFUL. It´s such a crucial, needed, wanted tool, when you want to create your life deliberately and on purpose.


    What you’re saying makes perfect sense and I do agree with it. Happiness with or without him should certainly be the priority. The thing is, as I’ve said before, I’ve never felt this way about any man before. There is something about him that I just find so amazing and I feel like I can’t live without.
    This is a facet that most people don´t get: You fall in love with not just "the whole person", but you RESONATE with what YOU WANT, in him. He is carrying an essence that you deeply desire.

    But the thing is, that you can get this essence without him, and ohhh what a match you THEN are to him! You can yourself OWN this essence that attracts you so much in him. You can become as fascinating as he is.
    You can become as cool as he is. You can become as confident as he is (just picking here randomly, to give some examples).
    And when you "get that" YOURSELF, you will have an even more satisfying dance with him!

    I just don’t see having these feelings for anyone else and it scares me. I didn’t “want” to meet him. I didn’t “ask” to meet him. Dating was not on my radar, but yet we were brought together. In my mind, there just HAS to be a reason for it. There has to be a purpose. There has to be something there or else why would our paths cross the way they did.
    It happened because it was a MATCH, that you were (finally?) ready for. And in this very moment, where you let down your guard just a little bit, aka "allow" the good things to flow,source immediately is able to deliver. And does.
    I don’t know. It just seems cruel if we were brought together in these circumstances if it was just a coincidence.
    Right. So, why think this way? Simply stop it!
    It feels bad. What means: Source (God) doesn´t think this way. That´s your guidance!

    there’s a reason for everything and if there are no coincidences in life, there has got to be an I know this probably sounds sad, probably a bit pathetic, and whiny, and it’s obviously negative, but if explanation on why we were brought together and why I feel the way I do about him. Why would I have such strong feelings if it wasn’t meant to go anywhere with him.

  7. #7


    Gradually stop your worry-just by deciding to NOT think those thoughts further, and then thinkingsomething more joyful, INSTEAD.

    Allow your joy to rear it´s head. Milk when a sunbeam found you. Become AWAREof the goodness around you all day long (topic completely irrelevant). Milkwhat´s easy to appreciate, this trains your vibration upwards: recognice andENJOY what is lovely. This is "the paradigm shift" you´r looking for.

    -And RELAX more! Sleep whenever you feel depleted, meditate, let go of"issues" and look for the wanted sides in all things.

    Thanks, for spelling this out in such greatdetail. You make it sound so simple. I’m clearly overthinking things and justneed to slow down while taking a new approach.

    The ONLY thing that reallyis important is that you FEEL GOOD.

    You don´t have to inform us, you don´t have to stick to facts, you don´t haveto explain yourself. We here on Forum, or all other people, really areirrelevant. We can soothe you, at best. Your guidance comes from within, fromsource! Source KNOWS what you want, and it´s given! All the rest is justabout you, getting into the high-vibrating stance where you allow yourself tolet it in.

    When you say guidance comes from within, are you sayingthat Source is the same as intuition / gut reaction? I ask because at times, myintuition told me that there was something really special there between us andthat we would end up being together someday. Of course, not being as intunewith myself as you are, I blew it off as wishful thinking / hoping.

    He still can be so resistantto this love and joy, that you don´t "draw him hin". But really,would you want a partner who is intensely resistant against love and joy?

    And also- if he wouldn´t be a good match to what you desire, you would NOT becalled/attracted to him. Then he would be invisible to you. That´s just howthis things work.

    This confuses me. On one hand I feel that you’re sayingit may not work out with him because he may be so resistant to me / myvibrations, but then it sounds like because I’m desiring him so badly he’s amatch for what I want.

    Reading further to the quote you posted below, it soundslike going by Abraham Hicks that regardless of whether or not he’s resistant,if I desire him and am in alignment, it WILL work out. I WILL get him. Am Ifollowing that correctly?

    You get to the point where youembrace the "contrast"- aka what you don´t want so much, asINSPIRATION of what you really prefer, and as INDICATION of what you have goingon.

    You learn how to deal with the "unwanted"- in reaping the clarityfrom it, and seeing it as wake-up-call to adjust your vibe to what feelsbetter. It makes you aware and clear, and in this you become as a sculptor whoworks with clay:
    You WANT to see what is happening, so that you can make new decisions whenthings start to turn out in unwanted ways! You WANT to see when things go southjust a bit, so that you can "mold the clay" (aka think better feelingthoughts) to your liking.

    And so, yes, "contrast" will always be there. But it loses it´ssting. Really, after a while it feels enlivening, inspiring, clarifying, HELPFUL.It´s such a crucial, needed, wanted tool, when you want to create your lifedeliberately and on purpose.

    I get this part. Thanks!

    This is a facet that most peopledon´t get: You fall in love with not just "the whole person", but youRESONATE with what YOU WANT, in him. He is carrying an essence that you deeplydesire.

    But the thing is, that you can get this essence without him, and ohhh what amatch you THEN are to him! You can yourself OWN this essence that attracts youso much in him. You can become as fascinating as he is.
    You can become as cool as he is. You can become as confident as he is (justpicking here randomly, to give some examples).
    And when you "get that" YOURSELF, you will have an even moresatisfying dance with him!

    Oh, I can’t say how much I LOVE this! To behonest, I really don’t know what it is about him that I adore so much. I stillhaven’t pinpointed it. I just find him utterly fascinating and as I mentionedwe have a lot of the same passions so it seems like we’d make a good pairing.

    It happened because it was a MATCH,that you were (finally?) ready for. And in this very moment, where you let downyour guard just a little bit, aka "allow" the good things toflow,source immediately is able to deliver. And does.

    Right. So, why think this way? Simply stopit!
    It feels bad. What means: Source (God) doesn´t think this way. That´s yourguidance!

    I’m having a really hard time today withthis whole process. I know I’m focusing on the negative emotions of “not having”over the desire which isn’t good, but it just keeps popping up into my head.How much I miss him. How much I want to be near him. How much I want to betalking to him. He just won’t leave my thoughts. I keep trying to shift to thegood thoughts and memories, but my mind, especially today, keeps going back tothe yearning.

    For some reason I feel so rushed about this. Like I HAVEto have him this very minute and nothing else will do. It’s overwhelming and it’sbringing on anxiety which I just can’t deal with right now. When I woke up thismorning I layed in bed trying to get a feel for how I was feeling emotionally.Of course he was the first thing to pop in my head and the anxious feelingkicked right in.

    Our friendship which we’re rebuilding is a work inprogress. I do feel blessed to have it and I’m trying to focus on the small thingsand the positive emotions, but my brain is just so over reactive with thiswhole situation that I feel like I’ve already lost him sometimes. It’s theweirdest thing and not a sensation that I like at all.

  8. #8
    Beloved Woman paradise-on-earth's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    Location
    Elfengarten, Germany
    Posts
    66,447
    Quote Originally Posted by SoulSearcher View Post

    Thanks, for spelling this out in such great detail. You make it sound so simple.
    It really is my pleasure, and what a wonderful co-creation, as you are getting the basics fast. It´s fun with you!

    ...And, this teachings ARE very simple, once you allow to see the simplicity of them. Abe often tease that they only have 1 answer: "Get happy". Because this covers it all.

    While it´s fun to figure out WHY that works!

    I’m clearly overthinking things and justneed to slow down while taking a new approach.
    That´s true for almost all of us. We have to let go just a little bit of making this to be solely an intellectual- or action-game, and make it an EMOTIONAL game, so much more.

    The good news is, once you really do this and follow what FEELS GOOD (or at least as relief)- your whole life will become so much more easy, happy, fulfilled, clear, powerful and peaceful.
    All this EMOTIONS become yours, and will fuel and attract the stuff, the people and circumstances.

    Whatever you attract from this stances, it will have this wanted, wonderful emotional emotional essences in it´s core!
    When you say guidance comes from within, are you sayingthat Source is the same as intuition / gut reaction?
    You feel in your gut when you are not focusing in the same way as the bigger part of you/source/your IB focuses. When you hate (while source never hates) or when you doubt, (while source knows your desire to be totally available to you), you feel bad, or "empty". That´s that icky feeling in the gut- because, source is not "with you" in this negative thought.

    Intuition or inspirations are sources input, WHEN THEY FEEL GOOD.
    Because you can pick up on a whole lot of "impulses" and ideas, that are definietyl not from source.
    When somebody speaks of doom and gloom and it feels terrifying- no matter if they state that this would be God speaking through them- IT NEVER IS.

    Source is "pure, positive energy". And that always feels good.

    I ask because at times, my intuition told me that there was something really special there between us
    this quote explains that:

    How you know who is RIGHT for you!

    You have within you an Inner Being that’s lived thousands of lifetimes, who’s come to a place of knowing, and that is present or absent within your every experience based upon what you are thinking, or your perception of it.

    And so, if you find someone and that one is evoking within you a sense of love, a sense of passion, a sense of wanting, and you are evoking it in the other, we say enjoy the connectedness that your Inner Being is applauding, for that’s what passion is, that’s what that feeling of exuberance is, that’s what that is all about, that is your Inner Being jumping up and down -saying:


    "YES, this is appropriate Unto This Moment!"

    And go forth into your relationships not from a guarded, protective stance, and not from the stance that the rule is inappropriate and I must find the approval of society in order to feel good. Seek not the approval of society. Nor the approval of your mother. Nor the approval of Abraham. Seek not the approval of anyone!

    Seek the connection with your Own Inner Being, and let the presence or the absence of your Inner Being be your guiding star. -And you will always be in the right place, under any and all conditions.


    Abraham Hicks, 11/09/1991



    and that we would end up being together someday.
    THAT is something different. There is no "fate". You are so free in your choices, that you can choose to not go with your desires, feel pain and be lonely. So, even this guy would be a wonderful match when he FEELS SO GOOD to you, here and now- you do not need to "end up with him", because you are free to pinch this relationship off, with not going with what feels good.

    Also, you might evolve in a way, that there are EVEN BETTER matches on your way, eventually!

    This confuses me. On one hand I feel that you’re sayingit may not work out with him because he may be so resistant to me / myvibrations, but then it sounds like because I’m desiring him so badly he’s amatch for what I want.
    Source knows EXACTLY what you want.
    That means, source does not only know that you want a handsome guy with good manners.
    Source knows alllll the inner (probably hidden) true desires that you AND him hold, in your Vortexes.

    And sometimes, people are just for a short time a match- as per example to lure each other out of their resistant "caves"- but then, soon, they expand in a way that they are not such a good match, any longer! But nothing is going wrong here, because when you care for feeling good- only good feeling matches CAN come to you (and it will not matter what their name is, when they drop into your life!).

    Abe said that there is no "single 1 right mate" EVER. Really, there are about 20 000 perfect matches always alive right here and now on this planet, always- for EVERYBODY! Sounds not so sugercoated/dramatically romantic. But -isn´t it soothing?

    Reading further to the quote you posted below, it sounds like going by Abraham Hicks that regardless of whether or not he’s resistant,if I desire him and am in alignment, it WILL work out. I WILL get him. Am I following that correctly?
    yes.

    -empowering, huh?

    Oh, I can’t say how much I LOVE this! To behonest, I really don’t know what it is about him that I adore so much. I stillhaven’t pinpointed it. I just find him utterly fascinating and as I mentioned we have a lot of the same passions so it seems like we’d make a good pairing.
    you don´t have to pinpoint it intellectually. Just ADORE IT. Bask in it. Feast upon it, and you don´t need his physical presence or his allowance to do that. Just "tune yourself" into this essences/vibrations. When it FEELS good what you are doing, you´r doing it right.

    I’m having a really hard time today with this whole process. I know I’m focusing on the negative emotions of “not having”over the desire which isn’t good, but it just keeps popping up into my head.
    That´s just your old, trained momentum.
    Be gentle with yourself and make babysteps. You WILL turn this around, in an organic, friendly, slow but maintainable way!

    -How much I miss him. How much I want to be near him. How much I want to betalking to him. He just won’t leave my thoughts.
    -Trained momentum, and also an indicator of how you miss all this connection IN YOURSELF.
    Abe teach that you don´t ever miss another person, but you miss the connection WITH YOURSELF.
    Aka, you miss the feelings of closeness, of connection, of alignment, of home-coming, security and joy. But the real job is to find that UNCONDITIONALLY, not needing HIM, but focusing on this emotions/essences in a way that you celebrate them, no matter what.

    Other topics are very helpful, even it might sound silly at first.
    -You could bask in your soft pillow and FEEL the emotion of comfort, "homecoming" and stable security while you do.

    -You could look into some dog´s eyes and FEEEL it´s deep love, and feast upon that.

    -You could enjoy a delicious meal and FEEL this intense sensual joy and delight.

    In this ways, you "tune yourself" to the essences you also want in a relationship, and become ready for their manifestations in all sorts of ways, not just in a bed, a meal, a dog!

    I keep trying to shift to thegood thoughts and memories, but my mind, especially today, keeps going back to the yearning.
    Then this thoughts and memories are too specific for you, right now. As soon you don´t feel really good in pondering this specific memories or ideas, just switch to pondering "easy topics" (as the bed and the pillows, the dog...).

    Or simply set "Grids" that contain of goodfeeling emotions, as the simple WORDS as "love, ease, peace, flow, fun". Every word has a vibration. When you repeat a goodfeeling emotional word for as short as 16 seconds without getting distracted, you FEEL this very emotion!
    And when you keep that up for about a minute, you have installed a powerful wanted emotional momentum, that WILL carry you for a while (don´t trample it, though).

    For some reason I feel so rushed about this.
    That´s just your translation of this, REALLY calling. Relax into it. Enjoy surrendering INTO it, while you drop the need and rush.

    Like I HAVE to have him this very minute and nothing else will do. It’s overwhelming and it’sbringing on anxiety which I just can’t deal with right now. When I woke up thismorning I layed in bed trying to get a feel for how I was feeling emotionally.Of course he was the first thing to pop in my head and the anxious feelingkicked right in.
    -again, trained, unwanted momentum.
    Just and only relax into that, and allow it to BE- without you, pushing against it in any way. Make peace with it, because- you are where you are, right?

    As soon you do, you´ll feel how the anxiety and tensions just lifts off of you.
    That´s that experience of "let go of the cork, and it´ll bob back to the surface ALL ON IT´S OWN". Do that, again and again and again whenever life challenges you. Rinse and repeat!

    Soon you will have installed a wanted momentum of ease and true, deep trust.

    Our friendship which we’re rebuilding is a work inprogress. I do feel blessed to have it and I’m trying to focus on the small thingsand the positive emotions, but my brain is just so over reactive with thiswhole situation that I feel like I’ve already lost him sometimes. It’s theweirdest thing and not a sensation that I like at all.
    - and so, you can know that source/God KNOWS that it´s not true.

  9. #9
    It really is my pleasure, and what a wonderful co-creation,as you are getting the basics fast. It´s fun with you!

    ...And, this teachings ARE very simple, once you allow to see the simplicity ofthem. Abe often tease that they only have 1 answer: "Get happy".Because this covers it all.

    While it´s fun to figure out WHY that works!

    Well,I’m glad you’re finding this fun with me. I really am eager to learn andpractice.

    The good news is, once you really do this and follow whatFEELS GOOD (or at least as relief)- your whole life will become so much moreeasy, happy, fulfilled, clear, powerful and peaceful.
    All this EMOTIONS become yours, and will fuel and attract the stuff, the peopleand circumstances.

    Ido believe this to be true. I’ve felt glimpses of how good life can be when you’reat your happiest. I’ve even felt that feeling in relation to this man. I knowit exists. I just need to get there more consistently. It’ll be a work inprogress, but I’ll get there.

    Source is "pure, positive energy". And that alwaysfeels good.

    Thisis exactly how I felt when I thought my gut/intuition was telling me that thiscould be the real deal between him and I. When that feeling hit me it was pureexcitement, elation, and happiness. So, this was more likely Source’s energyand not necessarily my instincts then?

    this quote explains that:

    How you know who is RIGHT for you!

    You have within you an Inner Beingthat’s lived thousands of lifetimes, who’s come to a place of knowing, and thatis present or absent within your every experience based upon what you arethinking, or your perception of it.

    And so, if you find someone and that one is evoking within you a sense of love,a sense of passion, a sense of wanting, and you are evoking it in the other, wesay enjoy the connectedness that your Inner Being is applauding, for that’swhat passion is, that’s what that feeling of exuberance is, that’s what that isall about, that is your Inner Being jumping up and down -saying:


    "YES, this is appropriate UntoThis Moment!"

    And go forth into your relationships not from a guarded, protective stance, andnot from the stance that the rule is inappropriate and I must find the approvalof society in order to feel good. Seek not the approval of society. Nor theapproval of your mother. Nor the approval of Abraham. Seek not the approval ofanyone!

    Seek the connection with your Own Inner Being, and let the presence or theabsence of your Inner Being be your guiding star. -And you will always be inthe right place, under any and all conditions.

    Thisis AMAZING! This is EXACTLY how I feel around him. He truly brings out the bestin me. As someone who has routinely chosen not to get close to people and notto open up to people, HE was somehow managing to bring me closer to him. HE wasbringing me out of my shell. I was beginning to open up to him and that is justso not like me at all. I tell ya, there’s just something about him I findsimply irresistible. I need and wantmore of it.

    Also,the part about not seeking approvals also struck a chord with me. My mother hasmet this man before and doesn’t particularly care for him. She doesn’t think he’sa bad person by any means, but she just doesn’t mesh well with him. In thebeginning stages I worried about that. About dating someone she didn’t approveof, but I quickly realized this is my life and I need to start living it forme. I quickly got over that concern.

    THAT is something different. There is no "fate".You are so free in your choices, that you can choose to not go with yourdesires, feel pain and be lonely. So, even this guy would be a wonderful matchwhen he FEELS SO GOOD to you, here and now- you do not need to "end upwith him", because you are free to pinch this relationship off, with notgoing with what feels good.

    Also, you might evolve in a way, that there are EVEN BETTER matches on yourway, eventually!

    Choosingnot to go with my desires is something I’ve done routinely in the past in manyareas of my life, not just love. It’s been a vicious cycle for me and I’m nowworking on changing that. I don’t want to feel like I’m feeling anymore. I dowant a happy, fulfilled life from here on. Although, I do admit that the “evenbetter” matches part scares me. I just can’t see how that’s possible. Sadly, Idon’t even want to see how that’s possible. I WANT this one. He’s the one I’mfocusing on and should he decide he wants to try a relationship with me I’mgoing with it.

    yes.

    -empowering, huh?

    Itmost definitely is! I love that way of thinking.

    you don´t have to pinpoint it intellectually. Just ADORE IT.Bask in it. Feast upon it, and you don´t need his physical presence or hisallowance to do that. Just "tune yourself" into thisessences/vibrations. When it FEELS good what you are doing, you´r doing itright.

    That´s just your old, trained momentum.
    Be gentle with yourself and make babysteps. You WILL turn this around, in anorganic, friendly, slow but maintainable way!

    Todayhas been an interesting day. I feel like something completely new clicked in myhead. Rather than focusing on what may or may not happen, something told me tojust focus on the friendship that we had and that we’re rebuilding right now. I’vebeen unusually calm about this today. I haven’t felt the anxiety that I’ve beenfeeling. I haven’t felt the nerves or negative thoughts. I’ve just been thinkingabout the memories we’ve shared and looking forward to seeing him next time. Itseems to be helping, at least for today. Maybe THIS is what I need to do. Thisis more of living in the moment too as opposed to worrying about something hasn’teven come yet so I feel I’m on the right track here.

    -Trained momentum, and also an indicator of how you miss allthis connection IN YOURSELF.
    Abe teach that you don´t ever miss another person, but you miss the connectionWITH YOURSELF.
    Aka, you miss the feelings of closeness, of connection, of alignment, ofhome-coming, security and joy. But the real job is to find thatUNCONDITIONALLY, not needing HIM, but focusing on this emotions/essences in away that you celebrate them, no matter what.

    Other topics are very helpful, even it might sound silly at first.
    -You could bask in your soft pillow and FEEL the emotion of comfort,"homecoming" and stable security while you do.

    -You could look into some dog´s eyes and FEEEL it´s deep love, and feast uponthat.

    -You could enjoy a delicious meal and FEEL this intense sensual joy anddelight.

    In this ways, you "tune yourself" to the essences you also want in arelationship, and become ready for their manifestations in all sorts of ways, not just in a bed,a meal, a dog!

    I understand this perfectly.

    Then this thoughts and memories aretoo specific for you, right now. As soon you don´t feel really good inpondering this specific memories or ideas, just switch to pondering "easytopics" (as the bed and the pillows, the dog...).

    Or simply set "Grids" that contain of goodfeeling emotions, as thesimple WORDS as "love, ease, peace, flow, fun". Every word has avibration. When you repeat a goodfeeling emotional word for as short as 16seconds without getting distracted, you FEEL this very emotion!
    And when you keep that up for about a minute, you have installed a powerful wanted emotional momentum, that WILLcarry you for a while (don´t trample it, though).

    Perfect! I’ll keep this in mind to try thenext time I start to feel overwhelmed.

    -again, trained, unwanted momentum.
    Just and only relax into that, and allow it to BE- without you, pushing againstit in any way. Make peace with it, because- you are where you are, right?

    As soon you do, you´ll feel how the anxiety and tensions just lifts off of you.
    That´s that experience of "let go of the cork, and it´ll bob back to thesurface ALL ON IT´S OWN". Do that, again and again and again whenever lifechallenges you. Rinse and repeat!

    Soon you will have installed a wanted momentum of ease and true, deep trust.

    I’m so grateful for all of the time you’regiving me with all of this. It really does mean a lot and it is sinking in.Thank you so, so much!

    - and so, you can know thatsource/God KNOWS that it´s not true.

    I have a few friends who are very positive intheir thinking. I don’t necessarily know if they believe in LOA, but they keeptelling me over and over again to be patient and to trust the process. That theuniverse wants what it wants, etc. I’m starting to understand where they’recoming from. As long as I know SOMEONE has my back when I let my emotions gowhere they shouldn’t be, I think it’ll help me to get through this.

  10. #10
    Beloved Woman paradise-on-earth's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    Location
    Elfengarten, Germany
    Posts
    66,447
    I love this dance with you, soulSearcher! And how fast it all clicks into place with you, right?
    You FEEL the resonance. What a good thing.

    Quote Originally Posted by SoulSearcher View Post

    Thisis exactly how I felt when I thought my gut/intuition was telling me that thiscould be the real deal between him and I. When that feeling hit me it was pure excitement, elation, and happiness. So, this was more likely Source’s energy and not necessarily my instincts then?
    Abe say, what we call "instinct" IS the guidance of who-you-really-are, aka source/ your IB.

    This is AMAZING! This is EXACTLY how I feel around him. He truly brings out the best in me. As someone who has routinely chosen not to get close to people and not to open up to people, HE was somehow managing to bring me closer to him. HE was bringing me out of my shell.
    Lets say this even more accurately: He resonated so deeply with you, that he became your excuse to do all of this for yourself! (Because, really HE didn´t do so much, right? )

    I was beginning to open up to him and that is just so not like me at all. I tell ya, there’s just something about him I find simply irresistible. I need and want more of it.
    ...following the more accurate statement from above:
    YOU want and "need" (need is a somehow needy term It doesn´t feel so good, right?) to do this more.

    YOU want to focus more on all this opening up, and following the joy, and the expansion that feels as relief, passion, interest, LIVELINESS. And if he is the excuse that makes it easy, so be it. But it´s still solely YOU who is doing, or denying to do it.

    Also,the part about not seeking approvals also struck a chord with me. My mother has met this man before and doesn’t particularly care for him. She doesn’t think he’s a bad person by any means, but she just doesn’t mesh well with him. In the beginning stages I worried about that. About dating someone she didn’t approve of, but I quickly realized this is my life and I need to start living it forme. I quickly got over that concern.
    how liberating!

    Choosing not to go with my desires is something I’ve done routinely in the past in many areas of my life, not just love. It’s been a vicious cycle for me and I’m now working on changing that. I don’t want to feel like I’m feeling anymore. I dowant a happy, fulfilled life from here on.
    So, the whole thing was a blessing. SO good for you!

    Although, I do admit that the “evenbetter” matches part scares me. I just can’t see how that’s possible.
    Do you realize that now you are falling back into the old patterns of "closing yourself off"?
    It´s ok. You don´t need to push anything, and certainly not something that feels scary. The scare is guidance: This is NOT your next step, now. Just drop it, and relax fully about it, here and now.
    When something feels inviting or even irresistable, then follow it (just as you did with this man!).

    Sadly, I don’t even want to see how that’s possible. I WANT this one.
    And that´s perfect. Just don´t corner yourself with the idea that you would NEEEEED him to get happy- because that is never true.

    And, you CAN have him, whenever you fully line up with your desire:

    "Whatever life caused you to desire, you can be or have or do. NO EXCEPTION."(Abe)

    He’s the one I’mfocusing on and should he decide he wants to try a relationship with me I’mgoing with it.
    perfect!

    Today has been an interesting day. I feel like something completely new clicked in my head. Rather than focusing on what may or may not happen, something told me to just focus on the friendship that we had and that we’re rebuilding right now. I’ve been unusually calm about this today. I haven’t felt the anxiety that I’ve been feeling. I haven’t felt the nerves or negative thoughts. I’ve just been thinkingabout the memories we’ve shared and looking forward to seeing him next time. It seems to be helping, at least for today. Maybe THIS is what I need to do. Thisis more of living in the moment too as opposed to worrying about something hasn’teven come yet so I feel I’m on the right track here.
    That is one of this wonderful insights, that only life-experience can really teach you.
    When you have experienced this unconditional delightful peace, you will feel backed up and soothed forever more, even you WILL slip again, from time to time. But now, you have tasted this delicious freedom and power that you CAN be happy, no matter what. And now you will reach not only for the end-result (that will be yours eventually), but for the WHOLE wonderful journey of unfolding. It´s all sweet-zone, once you stop beating up on yourself for not being "perfect" yet.

    So much of the joy IS in the journey!


    I’m so grateful for all of the time you’regiving me with all of this. It really does mean a lot and it is sinking in.Thank you so, so much!
    I´m honored by your appreciation! Just let me state, we really are in this together. Me, flowing this answers due to your asking, is me "rampaging" my own joy and knowing, which feels wonderful to me, while I do, and it also trains me into even more.

    I have a few friends who are very positive in their thinking. I don’t necessarily know if they believe in LOA, but they keep telling me over and over again to be patient and to trust the process.
    Abe always state, when you are ITV you do not need patience- because you are "satisfied where you are and eager for more- ETERNALLY."

    We never close ALL our gaps, as long as we live! As soon one gap closes (one desire fulfills), then there will open another. That IS life, and it means, that our journey never ends, there is no "endedness". Abe say, this puts the eternalness into eternity. But that is nothing bad, but SUCH a good thing! We wouldn´t want endedness, right! And so, there comes a time where we dropped our judgement about "not being there yet" and start to solely and purely enjoy the journeys, no matter what.

    That the universe wants what it wants, etc.
    The Universe consists of LOVE and JOY, according to Abe. The purpose of life is joy. And the basis of life is freedom: We all are TOTALLY free to choose. The "universe" or even "God" (source) NEVER choose for us.
    This quote might make this even clearer:



    Is one desire better than another? -No.
    Who gets to choose? -You do.
    Can you make one choice now and another choice later? -Absolutely.
    Is it likely that your choices will continue to change and evolve? -Yes.
    Is there somebody watching you and keeping score of what you
    choose? -No.
    Will there be punishment if you accidentally make the wrong choice?
    -No.

    In other words, the punishment -- there is not anything offered like
    that -- but the suffering that you see as punishment is nothing greater
    than the negative emotion that you feel in any moment as you're
    disallowing your true self to flow through you. That's as bad as it gets.

    That guilt or anger or blame or frustration or
    depression that you feel-
    because you're choosing thoughts that aren't in vibrational harmony
    with who you are. That's as bad as it gets.

    So is there a great law that says monogamy is more spiritual than
    having many sexual partners?
    -No. There is no such law.
    Are there people who would be more joyful in monogamy? -Absolutely.
    Are there people who would be more joyful eating frog legs? -Absolutely.
    Who gets to choose? -You do.

    How do you know if you're making the right choice? -You can feel it.
    Will your choices evolve? -Absolutely.
    Can you make wrong choices? -No.
    Will other people agree? -Never.
    Are you going to be able to stand on your head in enough different ways
    to please them? -No!
    Any one of them? -No.
    Is that your job? -No.

    Then what is your job? -To feel good.

    What does that mean? -Seek harmony with who you are.
    Does that mean that the god within me wants me to have lots of sexual
    partners? -No.

    That means that the god within you wants you to find harmony between
    your desire and your belief. In other words, that energy wants you to
    create a clear path for it to flow. And you can't do that by saying,
    "that's wrong," because every time you see something is wrong, you
    stop the flow.

    Does that mean you have to embrace all things? -No.
    It just means you must stop pushing against those things that you don't
    want to include, because every time you push against them, you don't
    stop them, you include them, and now you're out of sync again and you
    say "it's your fault, you evil perpetrators of sin and violence and crime.
    If you would stop being so bad, I'd feel better."

    And we say that's true, but that's never going to happen.

    You must allow them to be that which they are while you selectively sift
    that which lines up your energy. And when you're in alignment with your
    source, all things are possible.



    Abe, 2/7/98

    I’m starting to understand where they’recoming from. As long as I know SOMEONE has my back when I let my emotions go where they shouldn’t be, I think it’ll help me to get through this.



    The ONLY thing that can ever hold
    you back, is your own limiting beliefs



    Do you know that the only thing that can ever hold
    you back, is your own limiting beliefs
    ?

    Now, what is a limiting belief?
    A limiting belief is a belief that contradicts your desire.
    That's it. Well, how did you get those beliefs? You just picked them up
    along your physical trail, and now you drag them everywhere you go.

    Do you do it deliberately? Do you say, "I think I will carry limiting
    beliefs around with me, to keep me from thriving, to keep me from being
    clear minded, to keep me from being safe, to keep me from being well,
    to keep me from being prosperous.

    I think I will just pick through the rubble of physical human experience,
    and I will just gather up a whole parcel of things that don't serve me well.
    And I'll carry them around and pass them on from generation to
    generation, and I'll make my life miserable with them and, hopefully,
    I'll pass them on to my children who will do the same."?

    It's not like that at all, is it? Not one of your limiting beliefs did you
    pick up deliberately intending to do yourself or someone else harm.
    You did not do any of this in a deliberate way, you did it in an
    indeliberate way, because you did not understand the power of your
    emotions.

    You did not believe that feeling good meant that it
    was good for you.

    It does not matter how you picked up these limiting beliefs.
    The only thing that matters is that you recognize that the negative
    emotion is pointing them out to you. Negative emotion is saying to you:
    You're holding a belief that is thwarting your light
    from shining.

    It's thwarting the God Force or Creative Life Force that is naturally
    being drawn through you.
    Sometimes we see you moving through your day-to-day experience,
    and you can tell that you have a limiting belief, or at least you can tell
    that something is screwy within you, because you can feel the strong
    negative emotion that is within you.

    It often comes forth right after you have clearly identified that you
    want something. When you clearly identify that you want something,
    when you heighten the focus of some desire and the Energy begins
    to move more quickly -- the limiting Energy becomes more evident.

    Dallas, TX on Sunday, November 11th, 2001

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •