Page 2 of 2 FirstFirst 12
Results 11 to 18 of 18

Thread: help with hate/rage

  1. #11
    OK I feel insecure and if only I can get a bunch of money and success then people will respect me and I will respect me and not feel insecure.

    I feel ashamed, insecure, fear, guilt because I have my mother's voice playing on autoloop over and over and over in my head, telling me that I should be doing something with my life, even though I dont have a recollection of her saying anything like that.

    I dont give a shit about what she thinks I should be doing because she clearly has no idea what shes talking about. If she did maybe I wouldnt turn out the way I did. Maybe I should remind her of that.I think this feeling has more to do with my interpretation of whats going on than whats actually going on. I dont think I would feel this bad if I wouldnt have this debilitating belief. If I could just figure out how to release it...

    Obviously I didnt make it up, I had to have heard it when I was younger and now Im replaying it in my head. I dont think it was personal. People are always trying to help and give advice even if it may not be the best advice for someone else. Even if it was a critique, I dont think it was personal. People only lash out when their out of alignment themselves. It wouldnt have happened if both of us didnt attract the unpleasant exchange in the first place.

    Nothing really is wrong here. I knew when I came forth into this reality that I would be a bumping into others and expanding from these experiences. I can catch it when I feel the negative emotion and release it, one instance at a time. I feeling better already. I can do this. I'm glad I felt the negative emotion. I if I didnt, it would just keep going on and on but I felt it and stopped it. This is it, this is the path!

  2. #12
    Super Moderator WellBeing's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    Posts
    15,196
    I can't tell you, for sure, how any of this of this would feel to you, but from the perspective of this Peanut in the Gallery, what you have posted here seems to me to have the potential to have brought you much more relief than those 4 lines you had posted yesterday.

    So, apply the two litmus tests here:
    • Does what I've posted here seem "true" to me?
    • Does what I've posted here feel better?

    If you can answer "Yes" to both of those questions (and I believe that you can), then this was a productive bit of "work" for you. Good for you. Do more of this.

  3. #13
    I remember reading the manual for the meditation CDs and they said that if you practice meditation for only 15 times a day AND DO NOTHING ELSE you will gradually see your vibration raise. That is why I was trying to do a short cut that way, before.

    But now that I'm getting better at these, when I successfully complete a process and find myself in a state of relief, would it help to try and hold it there for a while or not really? I'm not asking because Im trying to get stuff, I'm just exhausted at needing to do these, literally every minute and just want to feel less bad less of the time.

  4. #14
    Super Moderator WellBeing's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    Posts
    15,196
    Quote Originally Posted by y4nix View Post
    I remember reading the manual for the meditation CDs and they said that if you practice meditation for only 15 times a day AND DO NOTHING ELSE you will gradually see your vibration raise. That is why I was trying to do a short cut that way, before.

    I hear you. (BTW, Abe have been making that recommendation a key point in the Workshops of the last 6 to 9 months.) Meditation is a wonderful practice. Keep it up!

    Quote Originally Posted by y4nix View Post
    But now that I'm getting better at these, when I successfully complete a process and find myself in a state of relief, would it help to try and hold it there for a while or not really?

    A different kind of PopQuiz for you: What's Abraham's “only one answer”?

    Of course, you know the answer: feel better. So, you tell us. Does it “feel better” to you to that you're asking us about? If so, do more of it. If not, then do something else. You're only going to really know if you try it for yourself.

    And if you try it and it doesn't work for you at one time or another, it's not really a big deal because you know how to shift yourself back up into a better-feeling emotion, right?

    Quote Originally Posted by y4nix View Post
    I'm not asking because Im trying to get stuff, I'm just exhausted at needing to do these, literally every minute and just want to feel less bad less of the time.

    So, remember those questions I had asked you at the end of my last post? Did you feel BETTER when you wrote your big post (#11)? Did you feel relief?

    Because that relief is you feeling less bad for that moment in time. That's one more moment in time during which you're feeling less bad. So, you ARE doing what you're saying here, in this post, that you want to do. You just did it!

    Plus you felt relief. So, this really can't be any more exhausting than thinking your crappy-feeling thoughts on Autopilot. Think about it logically. Crappy-crappy-crappy-crappy has got to be more exhausting than crappy-crappy-relief-crappy. Layer on top of that the fact that you're getting better doing your “work” (so presumably your “work” is getting easier for you to do).

    You can dismiss and/or diminish the relief that you were ABLE to accomplish, with some stories about your actual “work.” But you're not going to feel better, when you do that. But those are just thoughts that you’re thinking. This is like complaining about a dreadful, constant toothache you have and I point out that you have in your medicine cabinet a safe and effective medicine for your toothache. You respond, “I’m not gonna to bother to take that pill because I’ll only have to take another pill in 4 hours.” I want to say, “Really?” You can find BFTs to think even about your “work.”

    So, why do you NEED to do this? What are you telling yourself happens when you don't do this? Why is this relief you're able to accomplish not sufficient for you? IOW, this is a pocket of resistance that you can “work” on in the same effective way that you've done here.

    So, let me answer some of the questions that I think I hear underlying your questions here in this thread. Essentially, “What happens next? How does this stuff work?”

    As you do more of what you'd posted here, you are practicing your new vibrational setpoint, up from the “murderous rage” you'd started this conversation at. Each time you do this, you will feel relief, that “better" we talk about. So, that's a good thing. Relief is good, right? (Right?)

    As you practice your new vibrational setpoint, your new vibrational setpoint will start to seem more and more “normal.” Our Purple Princess of Perspicacity, HitC, calls this your “new normal.” When you've practiced this into your “new normal,” you will no longer feel the relief from reaching for your “new normal.” So, from there, you want to reach for “better” once again, just like you did here. Same skill, different destination.

    But that's only half of the story. (This is the bit you want to know, I know.) As you practice your “work,” you're also practicing those thoughts, so that you will be more likely to think those thoughts in your regular, day-to-day life. That's the real meaning of your “new normal.” Additionally, because you've been practicing your thoughts, they'll be more active in your vibration, so as you encounter topics (like your hair) in your everyday life, you'll have more flexibility to reach for some of the new thoughts that you’ve been finding in your “work” exercises. It’s like someone who’s been lifting weights at the gym. Those are specific exercises that she’s been doing with those particular weights at the gym. But as she becomes more skilled and practiced with her lifting exercises, she also becomes more able to more easily lift other weights she encounters in her day-to-day life. And that’s more practice to support her exercises when she returns to the gym. It’s a self-supporting cycle, you see.
    Last edited by WellBeing; 07-19-2017 at 10:51 AM. Reason: Formatting

  5. #15
    Super Moderator Hands in the Clay's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2010
    Location
    The Perfume Vortex of the World, France
    Posts
    5,890
    Quote Originally Posted by WellBeing View Post
    As you practice your new vibrational setpoint, your new vibrational setpoint will start to seem more and more “normal.” Our Purple Princess of Perspicacity, HitC, calls this your “new normal.” When you've practiced this into your “new normal,” you will no longer feel the relief from reaching for your “new normal.” So, from there, you want to reach for “better” once again, just like you did here. Same skill, different destination.

    But that's only half of the story. (This is the bit you want to know, I know.) As you practice your “work,” you're also practicing those thoughts, so that you will be more likely to think those thoughts in your regular, day-to-day life. That's the real meaning of your “new normal.” Additionally, because you've been practicing your thoughts, they'll be more active in your vibration, so as you encounter topics (like your hair) in your everyday life, you'll have more flexibility to reach for some of the new thoughts that you’ve been finding in your “work” exercises. It’s like someone who’s been lifting weights at the gym. Those are specific exercises that she’s been doing with those particular weights at the gym. But as she becomes more skilled and practiced with her lifting exercises, she also becomes more able to more easily lift other weights she encounters in her day-to-day life. And that’s more practice to support her exercises when she returns to the gym. It’s a self-supporting cycle, you see.

    That's some pretty impressive alliteration, Master WellBeing.

    Y4nix, here's a
    link to a thread on Telling a New Story, and the first post illustrates some of what WB is talking about - even a little bit of relief, a little bit of change, adds up. It "dilutes" your vibration, bit by bit, and shifts your overall vibrational mix, which will gradually, but surely, shift your manifestational evidence (and, just as importantly, you'll FEEL LESS CRAPPY, which, though many poo-poo that as a less-important thing than oodles of money or fabulous career offers, is essential for your physical well-being, relationships, and general functioning in life, so it's win-win: feel better in the short term, and feel better and get your stuff in the longer term).

    Happy reading. And if you missed the hyperlink, here's the low-tech version:
    http://www.abeforum.com/showthread.p...ange-your-life

  6. #16
    OK im almost done figuring it all out.

    acne, hairloss, stuff like that, that makes me feel unattractive is just guidance thats showing me to align with the feeling of attractiveness. And I've had plenty of experiences where girls actually hitting on me and Ive felt special and wanted, and good enough, lucky, blessed, amazing...


    When people make me feel powerless with anger because I cant control them, theyre teaching me to keep my alignment no-matter-what and self-control.


    When I feel so insecure about leaving my house and feel like a loser around people, it's guidance showing me that I want to have a purpose and be important, and have value, unique, exceptional, necessary, etc


    I know there are only 3 or 4 prime subjects and these are mine to work on. The only one I'm still confused about is when I constantly argue with people about trivial things whether it's on the internet or in my head, I just want people to agree with me. Or maybe validate me? To be understood?

    It's in the vicinity but I'm not convinced. All these are pretty common, I'm sure you've come across it before. Can you give me a hint?

    Thanks

  7. #17
    Super Moderator WellBeing's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    Posts
    15,196
    Quote Originally Posted by y4nix View Post
    acne, hairloss, stuff like that, that makes me feel unattractive is just guidance thats showing me to align with the feeling of attractiveness.
    I would say that differently, because your list of "stuff like that" are your manifestations. NO manifestation--not your skin condition, your weight, what your hair is doing, how much money you have in the bank--has the ability to "make [you] feel" anything. The ONLY thing that "makes [you] feel" any way is the thoughts that you think. When you look at those things (and probably a bunch of other areas of your life) you think thoughts of Hatred (because it's on the Scale. It's probably more accurate to say "Dislike," but that's just a milder form of Hatred) about yourself. Your IB will never join you in those thoughts of Hatred, no matter how "good" an excuse you might have for thinking them. It's your thoughts which "make [you] feel" the way that you do. And you've been manifesting this into a story that you've labeled "unattractive." You "make [you] feel" unattractive because you think thoughts about how unattractive you are, whether your thoughts are accurate or not.

    And you go on to tell us that your thoughts are less than accurate. Yet you think them, in spite of your awareness that they are less than accurate AND in spite of the Hatred you feel towards yourself when you think them.

    (BTW, it was your thoughts of Hatred--or of Dislike or of Disapproval--which resulted in your manifestations of your "stuff like that.")

    Quote Originally Posted by y4nix View Post
    When people make me feel powerless with anger because I cant control them, theyre teaching me to keep my alignment no-matter-what and self-control.
    Again, those are more manifestations. And they're not here to "teach you" anything. You're not here to "learn" anything. There are no lessons to learn.

    You are simply trying to control them because you think it's your manifestations which "make [you] feel" this way or that. And it's because of your flawed premise that you want to control those uncontrollable manifestations of these people and those conditions.

    Quote Originally Posted by y4nix View Post
    When I feel so insecure about leaving my house and feel like a loser around people, it's guidance showing me that I want to have a purpose and be important, and have value, unique, exceptional, necessary, etc
    All of what I said above was leading up to this piece. When you are thinking your thoughts of insecurity, it feels so awful to you that you don't want to leave the house because your IB KNOWS (I want to shout that. Your IB KNOWS) how important you are--right now--how much value you have--right now--how essential your uniqueness is--right now--how exceptional and extraordinary you are--right now. That feeling, which literally sucks the life right out of you, that you feel when you think your thoughts of Insecurity aren't because of what you want and what you have then put in your Vortex (although that is happening). That feeling feels as awful as it does because you're not seeing all the ways that you ARE--right now--those qualities and your IB looks at nothing but those qualities that you are--right now. And not in some airy-fairy, vague, woo-woo, "vibrational" way, either. I'm not even talking about any of that (although there is all of that going on as well).

    Quote Originally Posted by y4nix View Post
    I know there are only 3 or 4 prime subjects and these are mine to work on.
    Of course, you are correct that they are yours to work on. But you would be depriving yourself of a prime benefit of this Forum if you meant that phrase to mean that you have to go it alone. You never go it alone in this life. You have so much NP support that neither Abraham nor Esther can quantify that support for any of us. That "go it alone" mentality is just a bogus human story that many of us buy into, for whatever our "good" reasons.

    Quote Originally Posted by y4nix View Post
    The only one I'm still confused about is when I constantly argue with people about trivial things whether it's on the internet or in my head, I just want people to agree with me. Or maybe validate me? To be understood?
    Why lump them together in an unhelpful mass like that? And it's not like you're trying to find a unifying string theory. There's no analysis in this "work." It's simply: you have your negative emotion, you pay attention to the thoughts that you're thinking as you're having your negative emotion, you soothe and shift those thoughts as best you can, when you can.

    Speaking of theories, this reminds me of a theory that I've had for one of the reasons why you're not able to get the traction on your "work" and feel the relief--because you conglomerate all your manifested incidents into a global story and, in doing so, you no longer have access to the thoughts that you were thinking as you were manifesting your incidents. Then you have nothing to "work" on or what you have left to "work" on is so general that your shift is too subtle for you to feel, especially in comparison to your memory of your anger.

    Have a conversation with the checkout clerk at the supermarket? Pay attention to the thoughts that you're thinking and then do the "work" on that. Have an argument on the Internet? Pay attention to the thoughts that you're thinking when you're angry and then do the "work" on that. As you do that, you might see that one time you're thinking thoughts about validation (or lack thereof). In another incident, you might be thinking thoughts about being understood. In yet another time, you might want to be control them to agree with you. If there's a theme, you can then ask yourself, "Why is it so important to me that others (or these types of people) agree with me?," etc. But if you don't yet know, then jumping to a conclusion about a theme is--well--jumping to a conclusion. I don't see that as particularly helpful to you. Fortunately, we don't need to do that in order to do this "work."

  8. #18
    Again, those are more manifestations. And they're not here to "teach you" anything. You're not here to "learn" anything. There are no lessons to learn.

    You are simply trying to control them because you think it's your manifestations which "make [you] feel" this way or that. And it's because of your flawed premise that you want to control those uncontrollable manifestations of these people and those conditions.
    That's me trying to do a New Story.

    You literally advised this to me a couple of days ago in #10

    specific negative


    • I look in the mirror and i see that I'm balding and i feel powerless and afraid and angry



    general negative



    • It took a while but I finally figured out that it's fear of being judged/not liked by others.
    • Ooo! Look at that! I figured something out. I stuck with this and I poked and prodded from all different angles and something clicked for me.
    • Man, that feels good when that light bulb goes off. I like that feeling.
    • It feels like movement.
    • It feels like the road opening.
    • It feels like fresh air.
    • Movement. Hmm, you know something? I'd been telling myself that I've been making no progress. But I figured something out. I went from not knowing or understanding something to knowing or understanding that something in a way that has meaning for me.

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •