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Thread: My Neighbors Helped Me Learn What Being an Uplifter Truly Means

  1. #1

    My Neighbors Helped Me Learn What Being an Uplifter Truly Means

    Hi everyone - I finally 'got' what allowing and being an uplifter means! I have some friends/neighbors that *seem* to love drama and (old story) I used to get sucked into their contrast. I finally realized that being an uplifter does NOT mean fixing their problems and I can tell a better-feeling-story about them. First, they are very resourceful people and they don't need my help. They have their own IBs who can guide them! It's okay for me to say NO to them when they are in "crisis" and it's okay that I have boundaries. So, I am allowing them to be who they are. It's all good...RELIEF!!!

  2. #2
    Super Moderator WellBeing's Avatar
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    Oct 2008
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    Sounds like a Success Story to me!

    ETA:
    I have edited your thread title to more closely reflect your OP topic.

  3. #3
    I love this !


  4. #4
    Thanks Sosa & WB: it took a lot of practice and focus wheels (lol)...but I finally saw my value to them was stay in alignment with MYSELF. I *used* to sit through sob stories of financial lack, missed opportunities and people taking advantage of them. Obviously, I was a vibrational match to some of these stories. BUT...it was a lose-lose situation because the more I listened, the quicker I sank down the EGS scale and it wasn't helping them to pay attention to their lack stories! So, last week...I decided to turn them loose! This new momentum started about a year ago when my therapist told me to stop encouraging their sob stories by listening to them. THAT was hard at first because I wanted to be a good neighbor but I did it baby steps. Then, I stopped helping them when they had crisis after crisis. IF...it felt good to do little things like giving them coffee when they ran out, etc. then I would do it. I also started voicing my expectations like: "You can REPAY that coffee this week when you get your paycheck!" So now it's a WIN-WIN because I stand up for myself and I reinforce that they are capable and resourceful.

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