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Thread: I want to find out the reason of unwanted emotion/feeling

  1. #1

    I want to find out the reason of unwanted emotion/feeling

    Hi all,

    I'd like to figure out the reason why I'm feeling negative emotion on this subject as it has been on my mind for a few days now.

    There is this sports star that is an idol of mine and who introduced me to the LoA.
    For some reason though while watching some live press conferences the last few days I feel very unhappy but I can't figure out why. For some reason because he introduced me to LoA I always seen him as a friend I will meet in the future once I've made it too. When people talk about him to me I always feel like they're further away from him than me or something; I can't really explain that but I guess I feel like I actually know him or something - hard to describe.
    But now that just feels very far away in some way, and I feel the lack of being succesful while I watch him being very succesful now. Sort of unhappy with my own life and current situation. Also after every sport event of him that I watched, the few days after I am always obsessed about it; I want to watch every video about it, read everything about it, and even think in day to day situations 'What would he act like in this situation' and then only wanting to do it like that. I sort of compare my life to his and then I feel bad and I just want to hang out with him or something. I must also add that when he thanks the fans I feel some sort of 'relief' of him/it being not as far away from me.

    This whole thing looks silly to me as I come across as some sort of desperate fan but I'd just like to know why I feel this and think these thoughts so that I can clear that up and no longer have those mixed feelings of positive (enjoying the entertainer and sport star he is) and the negative (feeling unsuccesful and far away from an idol that I would want to get to know personally)
    Last edited by sam44; 07-14-2017 at 07:35 PM.

  2. #2
    Super Moderator WellBeing's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by sam44 View Post
    ...but I can't figure out why.
    You tell us why:
    Quote Originally Posted by sam44 View Post
    But now that just feels very far away in some way, and I feel the lack of being succesful while I watch him being very succesful now.
    You're thinking about him in a way that contradicts what you want (your rapport with him, your perceived support from him) and you're willing to use thoughts about him to highlight what you don't want (your success).

    There may be other thoughts in there as well, if this has been going on for a few days. You just have to pay some attention to the thoughts that you're thinking as you're feeling your negative emotion. Those thoughts will be right there on the surface, as you're feeling your negative emotion. There's no digging involved. You don't need to have any deep, dark mystery about it.

    Quote Originally Posted by sam44 View Post
    I sort of compare my life to his and then I feel bad...
    When you feel bad when you do your comparison, you're comparing in a "negative" fashion, in a way that focuses away from what you want. You have the ability to compare your life to his in a more "positive" fashion, which wouldn't feel bad. It's just a matter of focus.

    Quote Originally Posted by sam44 View Post
    ...and I just want to hang out with him or something.
    So, like he's going to come in and teach you this thing that he's figured out but you haven't yet, huh? That would be a negative comparison.

    A positive comparison could be, "He figured this out for himself and a bunch of other people have, too. That really suggests to me that I, too, have the ability to figure this out for myself and reap the benefits that he and those other people have."

    Quote Originally Posted by sam44 View Post
    ...but I'd just like to know why I feel this and think these thoughts so that I can clear that up...
    You don't need to know why you think these thoughts in order for you to start reaching for and finding other, better-feeling thoughts, which is the Abraham definition of "clear that up." In fact, as you're telling us here, your desire to know why is actually getting in your way of reaching for and finding other, better-feeling thoughts, which is what Abraham teach and which is what you're telling us that you want to do.

    Abraham use the analogy of the GPS system in our cars. When you are in Phoenix and you've realized that you want to be in San Diego, you program your GPS accordingly. But the GPS system doesn't ask, "What were you doing in Phoenix? How did you come to be in Phoenix? How long have been in Phoenix?," etc. None of that matters. That sort of analysis only delays your departure from Phoenix (where you don't want to be) and your arrival in San Diego (where you do want to be).

    Quote Originally Posted by sam44 View Post
    ...and no longer have those mixed feelings of positive (enjoying the entertainer and sport star he is) and the negative (feeling unsuccesful and far away from an idol that I would want to get to know personally)
    There you go. That's what you're doing, in a nutshell. How will you soothe and shift the "negative"? (Notice that the negative really has nothing to do with him. Instead, the negative is just your thoughts about yourself and where you are.)

  3. #3
    Thanks for your reply!

    Could you explain the first part a bit more, of 'You're thinking about... want (your success)'? English is not my native language, I found that part a bit hard to understand but like to know what you mean with it.

    The example of the positive comparison you gave me actually did cross my mind. But because my desire to meet this person is strong it sometimes isn't 'enough' to think that.
    And the thing about reaching for positive thoughts is something I can do but for some reason i'm a bit stuck in the obsessing part and don't want to let go of that if that makes any sense?

    What I do know that I do want is to have achieved my dreams and get to know him.
    Could the fact that I feel like he has learned me stuff and like I know him, but him having no clue who I am (yet) also give me that negative feeling?

  4. #4
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    Quote Originally Posted by sam44 View Post
    Could you explain the first part a bit more, of 'You're thinking about... want (your success)'?
    Sure! I hear you. I could have been clearer there.

    In your post, you tell us some of what you want. We know that you want your success (and that might be measured in terms of fame, money, looks, skills or a similar level of expertise in your field, etc.). We know that you want a connection with him. I guessed that you might want some sort of support from him (from the way you're talking here). We know that you want to work with the LoA in a similarly productive way that he does. I'm sure that your list has more to it than just this, but this is enough, for starters.

    You're feeling bad because you're thinking thoughts which contradict these desires. You're looking at his success and then you're comparing how your success isn't matching up. (And you probably are looking at all those components: "I don't have his money. He's way more famous than me and I don't ever see myself as being famous. He has 8 cars and I have none.," etc.) Your comparison is highlighting your lack of things that you want. You feel bad because your IB is saying, "You can have that. You've put that--and more--into your Vortex. Start to focus this way and you'll start to get a whiff of your success," etc. You're looking at his productive skill with the LoA. After all, the products of his skill with the LoA are televised. You know about the LoA (thanks to him) but you're noticing how your work with the LoA hasn't produced for you in the same way that it has for him. That's what I mean.

    Quote Originally Posted by sam44 View Post
    The example of the positive comparison you gave me actually did cross my mind. But because my desire to meet this person is strong it sometimes isn't 'enough' to think that.
    If you notice, my example had nothing to do with your desire to meet him. My example was an example of a way to favorable compare your experience to his (as opposed to the unfavorable comparison you were doing in your OP).

    Quote Originally Posted by sam44 View Post
    And the thing about reaching for positive thoughts is something I can do...
    Good for you, but in your post, you weren't doing that. So, when you feel bad, especially over the course of a few days, you might want to start reaching for BETTER-feeling thoughts, which is different from reaching for "positive" thoughts.

    Quote Originally Posted by sam44 View Post
    ...but for some reason i'm a bit stuck in the obsessing part and don't want to let go of that if that makes any sense?
    What does "let go of that" mean to you? (And to be clear, I haven't suggested "let go of that.") But what does "let go of that" mean to you? And, in your mind, what happens if you were to "let go of that"?

    Quote Originally Posted by sam44 View Post
    What I do know that I do want is to have achieved my dreams and get to know him.
    Why is it so important for you to meet him? What do you tell yourself would happen if you don't meet him?

    The answers to those two questions will give you more thoughts that you think about this topic. (And to be clear: it's all right that it's so important for you to meet him and I'm NOT suggesting that you can't meet him. I'm asking my questions so that you can discover, for yourself, your "reason of unwanted emotion feeling," as you're asking us here.)

    Quote Originally Posted by sam44 View Post
    Could the fact that I feel like he has learned me stuff and like I know him, but him having no clue who I am (yet) also give me that negative feeling?
    When you want to meet him and you think thoughts which contradict that desire (thoughts like "He has no clue who I am...He doesn't even play in my country...I can't afford a ticket to a game he's in...I have no idea how I'll meet him...Even if I do meet him, he doesn't even speak my language...," etc.), you're going to have negative emotion. That's how all negative emotions are created.

    Learning what your actual contradictory thoughts are is simply paying attention to the thoughts that you're thinking, as you have your bad feeling.

  5. #5
    Thanks for explaining it. I get what you mean now, and its true.
    With letting go I mean no longer watching and reading everything about it. If I would let go of that I'd miss out on something I like to see.
    It is important for me to meet him because he is so inspiring to me and he seems like a good and fun person to be around. If I don't meet him it'd just be a disappointment as I do think I will meet him eventually.
    I know the contradictory thoughts I'm thinking but now how do I change these into positive ones that actually give me a lasting good feeling around this?

  6. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by sam44 View Post
    With letting go I mean no longer watching and reading everything about it.
    But it's not the watching and reading everything about it that makes the difference. Stopping that or "letting go" of that is the action journey, when Abraham teach us to make the vibrational journey our priority.

    You can watch or read about him and feel "worse" (as you're reporting in this thread) or you can watch and read about him and feel better. The difference between those two are the thoughts that you think as you're watching or reading about him. That's the "work."

    Quote Originally Posted by sam44 View Post
    It is important for me to meet him because he is so inspiring to me and he seems like a good and fun person to be around.
    That's great, but he can still inspire you and still seem like a good and fun person to be around even if you don't meet him, so that doesn't really answer the question about what happens if you don't meet him.

    Quote Originally Posted by sam44 View Post
    If I don't meet him it'd just be a disappointment as I do think I will meet him eventually.
    Well, Disappointment is a place on Abraham's Scale, which means that Disappointment is an emotion, which means that your emotion of Disappointment is caused because the thoughts that you're thinking don't match up with the thoughts that your IB is thinking. Notice that he's no part of that equation. This is between you and You, not him.

    You have the freedom (and ability) to not meet him and think thoughts of alignment. You have the freedom (and ability) to meet him and think thoughts of misalignment. It's not the meeting him (or not) which causes your Disappointment. It's the thought that you think which causes your Disappointment.

    Quote Originally Posted by sam44 View Post
    I know the contradictory thoughts I'm thinking but now how do I change these into positive ones that actually give me a lasting good feeling around this?
    Since you know the contradictory thoughts you're thinking (which, BTW, is different from your thread title--did you notice?) you can start with those thoughts and find thoughts which still seem true to you and which feel BETTER. Notice I'm not saying "good" because you might not be able to reach for "good" feeling, but you CAN reach for feeling BETTER. As you do more of that, you will eventually accomplish the "good" feeling that you're asking about here.

  7. #7
    Thanks a lot for your clear and fast replies. I'm thinking thoughts that are the opposite of what I want hence why I'm feeling negative emotion. The work I have to do is to think positive thoughts around this subject instead so that it matches up with my IB and I feel good about it.

  8. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by sam44 View Post
    I'm thinking thoughts that are the opposite of what I want hence why I'm feeling negative emotion.
    I don't know if they are the "opposite" but they do contradict what you want in some way. But you can find out what those thoughts are, simply by paying attention to what you're thinking about this subject (or any other subject) when you're having your negative emotion.

    Quote Originally Posted by sam44 View Post
    The work I have to do is to think positive thoughts around this subject instead so that it matches up with my IB and I feel good about it.
    That sounds good on paper but what you've written here can be difficult to pull off in real life, in the same way that when you're driving a car 150 kph in this (<--) direction and you suddenly decide that you want to be going 150 kph in that other (-->) direction and you attempt to correct your course by spinning your steering wheel around all at once. That maneuver is tough to accomplish and it's hard on the contents of the car.

    A much easier (and more comfortable) approach is, whilst you're going in your unwanted (<--) direction, you slow down your car. When you're at a comfortable speed for turning, you reorient your car to go in your wanted (-->) direction. When you're stably heading the direction you want to go (-->), then you can accelerate to your desired speed. It's the same thing with this vibrational "work," which is why we recommend to our Forum friends to "feel better."

    If you're in the lower quarter of the Scale, the LoA won't allow you feel "good." Marc describes this like being on the ground floor of a tall building, wanting to be on the top floor and then trying to get from the ground floor (where you are) to the top floor (where you want to be) by jumping across that distance. With an actual building, you know there's gravity which will bring you back to where you started in pretty quick order. The LoA does the same thing vibrationally.

    That being said, you CAN feel better no matter where you are on the Scale. It's like taking the stairs in that tall building. You feel better (which might look like "a little less crappy") and then better from there (which might look like--I don't know--Jealousy) and then better from there (which might look like Discouragement) and so on. You use Abraham's Scale as your stairs. In a short while, you will have arrived at "good."

  9. #9
    Hi Sam44, I feel in a very similar situation as yourself,
    And some great advise from wellbeing as always.
    I try concentrating solely on my desired outcome and try not to focus on the how's and the why's in between, this keeps me in a better feeling place.
    ( it's working V. Well so far )
    Relax, enjoy stay focused.
    Keep us posted on your situation.
    I would love to know how you get on.



  10. #10
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    Welcome to the Forum, janewills1!

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