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Thread: Wealthy Wolf - shifting from lack to abundance

  1. #31

    I was out riding my bike and here's a thought of abundance.
    There is abundance of bicycles.
    Almost everyone has a bicycle here.
    I don't know many people who don't have bicycles.
    It is very hard to go out here and not see a bicycle.
    Bicycles are everywhere.
    Most common way to get around here is a bicycle.
    How are there so many bicycles? How does everyone have bicycles?
    Those are questions to which I'm really not looking for an answer, they just make me feel fun.

    Bicycle abundance.
    Last edited by WellBeing; 1 Day Ago at 10:44 AM. Reason: Removed broken link to image

  2. #32
    Super Moderator WellBeing's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by wolf View Post
    I was out riding my bike and here's a thought of abundance.
    Hmmm, I wonder if you can do a similar thing with your bicycle and "independence"...?

  3. #33
    Quote Originally Posted by WellBeing View Post
    Hmmm, I wonder if you can do a similar thing with your bicycle and "independence"...?
    You mean talk about my bicycle as a representation of abundance and independence?

  4. #34
    Super Moderator WellBeing's Avatar
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    Can you think of experiences of independence that you now have, thanks to your bicycle? ETA: Or experiences of independence that other people have (that might also be available to you), thanks to your bicycle?

  5. #35
    Quote Originally Posted by WellBeing View Post
    Can you think of experiences of independence that you now have, thanks to your bicycle? ETA: Or experiences of independence that other people have (that might also be available to you), thanks to your bicycle?
    I can think of transport. I don't live in a town or anything but it's a way to get around without a car.
    I suppose it's the same for other people elsewhere.
    Some travel the world on bikes.
    And then I guess it's a way for me to move around on my own even if it's just a couple kms (cuz where I live, it's a very small place, so I don't make long rides).
    And it's something that's completely my own.

  6. #36
    Super Moderator WellBeing's Avatar
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    There you go! Those are all thoughts of independence that you DO have. Independence was a sticking point in your initial posts in this thread. You and your bicycle were able to manifest more thoughts of independence that you DO have for you. Good for you.

  7. #37
    I think I fell back into fear about the whole situation.

    Because I had to see that one relative again.
    About something completely different, but even just the sight of her reminds me of my current manifestational state.
    And she herself, or my thoughts about her, they bother me a lot.
    I can't seem to make her understand that I want to be left alone,
    I'm frustrated with even the idea of trying to explain to her that I don't wanna talk about those things
    in fear that she will take offense to it and then I'll have those negative feelings to deal with - conflict with somebody.

    Last night I raged against her in my mind,
    aka why does she keep putting her nose where it's none of her business.
    And what activated that again is that I was expected, by her, to perform like she wanted,
    and when I didn't, she acted so offended.
    And even though I've heard so many times Abe say that that is between that person and their IB,

    I couldn't help feeling negative emotion anyway.

    She also seems to make any excuse to get me to visit - either she'll bring new clothes or make some food that she knows I like.
    And I don't really want to visit at all, I was thinking what is my POLR in this,
    it seems so much easier to visit but just visit exactly when she expects it, so that I don't get this dumb conflict with that person.
    She's at least happy then. But then it's also like I can't keep offering pleasing behavior all the time at my own expense...
    that reminds me of when Abe said something like it's easy to do as others want when you know you've got the resources
    and you can line up with almost anything, but after a while it begins to take a toll on you, if you're not serving yourself.
    I've been in a different feeling place when visiting, too, those visits have been quite normal,
    but I do really have to try to get to that place.
    I'd like it if I didn't have to go at all.

    Then there's still the other thought that I'm not this seven year old anymore who wanted to go to her place all the time,
    she can't just expect to order me there whenever she wants to,
    I've my own life, too.
    Or at least I'm trying to have my own life.
    I feel constricted by having to go there... like some part of my freedom to decide is being taken away,
    and I feel very resentful towards this person.
    Basically I'm mad.

    She really gets the stream going as well because every time I'm reminded of where I am in my physical form,
    I really want to get on my own feet.
    But that beats up on me a lot because I can still feel myself not ready for it being easy,
    yet I don't want it to be hard like this.

    Right now I just don't know how to feel better about anything.
    I'm mad at that person for being mad at me, for her actions, for how I feel about the whole thing.
    This living at home would suck a lot less if that person wasn't there but she is, so I'm gonna have to find some way to feel better anyway.
    Is it normal to fall back down like this?
    I was feeling so much better earlier about my situation, maybe even hopeful that it could be easy even if I'm not yet seeing it,
    then saw her again and I feel pretty bad.

  8. #38
    I'm really trying to sort of deal with my anger on my own,
    because right now it just feels like a good idea to tell everyone who's expecting anything at all from me,
    to simply f- off!
    That's what my current emotion feels like.
    It really is like when Abe say, "Don't you just want to say to them, who do you think you are?! WHO did your hair today??"
    yes... who do you think you are, indeed.
    Right now I can't manage anything but to be mad, so I guess I'll just be mad.

  9. #39
    sunny_day's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by wolf View Post
    I'm really trying to sort of deal with my anger on my own,
    because right now it just feels like a good idea to tell everyone who's expecting anything at all from me,
    to simply f- off!
    That's what my current emotion feels like.
    It really is like when Abe say, "Don't you just want to say to them, who do you think you are?! WHO did your hair today??"
    yes... who do you think you are, indeed.
    Right now I can't manage anything but to be mad, so I guess I'll just be mad.
    I can imagine where you are right now... Just wanted to tell you, that even if you're feeling awful right now, whatever that feeling is... If you're not pushing against it, it will soon fade away again!

    Just as I read the "f- off", there's a thread here, which I stumbled upon on one of the last days... It's called "F-it!"
    http://www.abeforum.com/showthread.php?18196-F-it!


  10. #40
    I guess today's just been one of the lows.
    I usually get over the low feelings at some point.
    I cried earlier.
    My feeling is not so intense anymore, I think I went from anger to general sadness,
    I don't know where sadness is on the scale.
    I might also be feeling a bit hopeless. Basically things feel too hard and too much at the moment.

    I read somewhere that someone (POE? maybe) likes to say, when the negative momentum gets going -
    just kill me now!
    because the phrase makes them laugh.

    I'm having a sad day, just kill me now!
    Things feel hard, just kill me now!
    I care what others think, just kill me now!

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