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Thread: Something very confusing and I feel very bad

  1. #1

    Something very confusing and I feel very bad

    Yesterday I experienced something with a neighbor that was terrible and since then I feel like either I will hurt that person or that person will do that to me. I really wanna go and kill her literally. This experience is so very terrible, really such an unwanted thing. And things were going quite good, there was nothing this bad going on in my life for years and this thing happened when I was not feeling that bad. There were many times where I felt worse than the way I was feeling when this happened, but in none of them I manifested something this big. I know Abe says that nothing comes out of the blue, but they come out of oblivious, and I've really aware of that so far; but this thing really felt like it came out of the blue. I just say wtf. I was really not feeling in a way that would attract something like that to my experience. I was feeling "not so good", but this event was something that I really really do not want. I really don't understand how this came about. What is this?

  2. #2
    Super Kitty Marc's Avatar
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    You've already explained what it is -- you not paying attention to and tolerating negative emotion until it got much bigger. So consider whatever happened with your neighbor for a moment. You don't have to talk about the specifics if you don't want, but in emotional terms, what happened that caused such a strong reaction? What did that feel like? Once you've identified how you felt, can you really say that whatever those feelings were that those are unfamiliar feelings?

    Now the question becomes, what are you going to do about it?

  3. #3
    lemon-up's Avatar
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    LoA man.
    I think it's a good sign that you didn't carry out any action of anger today and rather are now sifting this to gain clarity for a new point of attraction.

    contrast seems to be tailor made for us to find clarity and to listen to our inner guidance.
    what have you been telling your self lately?
    are you replaying any old memories or thots?

    it's still all about fine tuning our vibration and we can't get it wrong and we never get it done

  4. #4
    @Marc
    Yes, I notice that I was feeling a combination of those feelings for years really but they were not this momentous. I was not feeling this bad. This was like boom boom boom that happened all of a sudden. I really did not get at all how I was a match to something that big in that moment where I was not feeling that terrible. I was not feeling great, but I was also really not feeling that bad. And I was not feeling that negative about that person. But I also think that this was not the only exception to LoA, yeah. And I still have doubts, but as I raise my vibration, I have momentary awarenesses on how this thing may have happened. I overall think (wish) this was just something that is another vibrational match to me which I am just not seeing.

    And the thing to do is feeling relief. Thinking thoughts that bring relief.

    And thank you so much, your question about the familiarity of the feelings has been quite helpful.

  5. #5
    Quote Originally Posted by lemon-up View Post
    LoA man.
    I think it's a good sign that you didn't carry out any action of anger today and rather are now sifting this to gain clarity for a new point of attraction.

    contrast seems to be tailor made for us to find clarity and to listen to our inner guidance.
    what have you been telling your self lately?
    are you replaying any old memories or thots?

    it's still all about fine tuning our vibration and we can't get it wrong and we never get it done
    Thank you lemon-up. There have also been moments where I think I viewed this subject thru the eyes of Source, even though they have been momentary. I will do the work, feel better and better about this subject.

  6. #6
    I will feel better about anything and everything that comes up. I will just feel better. Now this brings another question to my mind. It is like a different topic but my question is: it still is doing the work if I only reach for the feeling of relief instead of deliberately thinking the thoughts, right? I mean when I reach for the feeling of relief directly, then my thoughts shift into thoughts of relief to reflect that change in my vibration which I find thru directly reaching for relief. Sometimes this is easier for me to do. This is still doing the work since I feel relief, right?

  7. #7
    Super Moderator Hands in the Clay's Avatar
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    Dear sir, you are forgetting the very basic principle from the Master Course recordings: Negative emotion feels worse when you've moved your vibrational setpoint. And all of us experience this, but we don't always know what to call it. The hotseater in that DVD says, "I feel worse now when I'm a little bit ornery than I used to feel when I was depressed," and Abraham reply, "Yes, a little bit of negative emotion goes a long way."

    So if you're accustomed to feeling pretty good most of the time, an old feeling of "anger" or "resentment" (related to an area that doesn't crop up often enough for you to have worked on it diligently) is going to cause you to feel (relatively speaking) MURDEROUSLY angry. Abraham even talk about Esther feeling "murderous" toward workshop attendees and their desire to catch her in private, ask her special questions, hang around her because of her "celebrity".... She's really just "irritated" or "exasperated," but in her usual emotional setpoint, that registers as "Get me a hatchet!!!"

    On top of all that, you are adding self-criticism to the process ("I thought I managed my vibration better than this"), and self-criticism is one of the worst feelings there is, and that makes it harder for you to shift the feeling, because you've got a "blend" of negative emotions going on, not just one clean target.

    For me, an area I haven't "cleaned up" that generates "worry" in the Old Me will actually cause a feeling of "dry-mouthed terror" in the New Me. And the first thing I have to do is "relativize" so that my interpretation of the emotion is based on what I KNOW about vibrational resistance, and not what I REMEMBER about "what feelings mean."

    Here's a post from the 51% thread that gets into this:
    http://www.abeforum.com/showthread.p...l=1#post812090

    So, feeling any relief as you absorb this information?

  8. #8
    FallenAngel's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by lemon-up View Post
    contrast seems to be tailor made for us to find clarity and to listen to our inner guidance.
    No doubt about it, contrast is tailor made for us to find clarity and to better listen to our inner guidance.



    Quote Originally Posted by The LoA-Man View Post
    I overall think (wish) this was just something that is another vibrational match to me which I am just not seeing.
    No doubt about it, this is something that is a vibrational match to you - and you are coming to understand how. Your posts are typically clear minded and you fully understand these teachings, so you will definitely come to see how all of this matches. Judging from your many past posts, you're fully ready and capable of embracing Step 5, which is not getting upset with yourself for creating a Step 1 moment. You'll use all of this info to propel forward into more clarity. We all create Step 1 from time to time because Step 1 is a part of the creation process. So.....yay! You're a master creator!
    Last edited by FallenAngel; 1 Week Ago at 06:56 AM.

  9. #9
    Quote Originally Posted by The LoA-Man View Post
    Yesterday I experienced something with a neighbor that was terrible and since then I feel like either I will hurt that person or that person will do that to me. I really wanna go and kill her literally. This experience is so very terrible, really such an unwanted thing. And things were going quite good, there was nothing this bad going on in my life for years and this thing happened when I was not feeling that bad. There were many times where I felt worse than the way I was feeling when this happened, but in none of them I manifested something this big. I know Abe says that nothing comes out of the blue, but they come out of oblivious, and I've really aware of that so far; but this thing really felt like it came out of the blue. I just say wtf. I was really not feeling in a way that would attract something like that to my experience. I was feeling "not so good", but this event was something that I really really do not want. I really don't understand how this came about. What is this?
    someone got kicked out of apartment today, but hey not you! just a quarrel, you know.
    it will soon pass.

  10. #10
    Beloved Woman paradise-on-earth's Avatar
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    such great answers.
    I want to harp on a bit more on what HitC said, when you have a fast stream, a little bit of resistance can hurt SO much!
    Esther used to say "just kill me now!" when she stumbled into what might have cause mild confusion to her, before she got SO lined up.

    I think, itīs a very soothing line, and I use it whenever that happens to me, and then I can laugh again!

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