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Thread: Fred found another - what happened?

  1. #1

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    Fred found another - what happened?

    Hello Abers,
    So a few weeks ago I met a man whom I recognized immediately as a man from my Vortex. He was just perfect and our relations were amazing. I have never had so strong feelings towards anybody even though I knew him for such a short time.
    After about a week or so I changed my attitude, I was so jealous... And he was different at that time - obviously. We were still in touch but I could notice he was not the man I knew from the very early stages of our relations. I was outside of the Vortex like almost all the time. But whenever I found myself in the Vortex he was the greatest guy.
    These last few days were pretty challenging for me because I knew I had to do something about how I feel or he'll leave me. But it was just yesterday that I decided I want to do process 22. I started from the very bottom and after a few hours (I was doing the process with breaks, whenever I wasn't comfortable with a specific emotion, I reached for the next one) the emotion I felt was discouragement. And when I was feeling comfortable with that discouragement, he texted me that some girl from his past texted him and he wants to meet her and he wants to end what is between us. But because I was feeling discouragement I could handle it somehow. Since then I have had no idea how I feel about him - whether I still want him or not. But 10mins ago I thought I want to continue this process 22, I don't feel comfortable with discouragement anymore.
    My questions are:
    1. How on earth did I attract his message yesterday? How is that connected to discouragement? I was on my way to the Vortex!
    2. Is it possible he'll come back?

  2. #2
    Super Moderator WellBeing's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by betterandbetter View Post
    1. How on earth did I attract his message yesterday? How is that connected to discouragement? I was on my way to the Vortex!
    You tell us right here:
    Quote Originally Posted by betterandbetter View Post
    These last few days were pretty challenging for me because I knew I had to do something about how I feel or he'll leave me.
    Your intention wasn't to feel better for your own relief of feeling better. Your intention was to Abe away a condition that you feared you would manifest. Your back to that "vibrational voodoo" we'd talked about with you when you first joined us. (Check out those threads of yours.) Your fear was the dominant vibration. And your manifestation matched that dominant vibration, as Abraham teach us.

    This is confirmed by your post where you dismiss the relief that a movement from Fear to Discouragement would have brought you because you had your manifestation. You sweep your relief away as if it doesn't matter at all, simply because it didn't get you the results that you wanted to Abe up.

    Quote Originally Posted by betterandbetter View Post
    2. Is it possible he'll come back?
    What do you think Abraham would say to that?

    The reason why I'm answering your question with a question is that your question really gives you an insight to your current vibration. In the face of your manifestation, you're willing to forget a cornerstone of these teachings:
    The Essence of My Every Desire Can Be Fulfilled... If your time-space reality has the wherewithal to inspire a desire within you, it is our absolute promise to you that your time-space reality has the ability to deliver, in full-manifested form, the reality of the desire it has inspired. Any and all desires can be fulfilled unless you are holding yourself out of alignment with your own desire. The feeling of competition or shortage, or limitation of resources, means you are out of alignment with your own desire.
    --- Abraham

    Excerpted from the book, The Vortex, Where the Law of Attraction Assembles All Cooperative Relationships #685
    To me, if I were in your position, the question wouldn't be "Can I attract him back?" but "Do I want to attract him back from my current vibrational set point about him, about Freds in general and about relationships? Or do I want to 'work' on myself to get myself ready to be ready to be ready for my Fred, whomever he may be?"

    If you start to reflect upon the thoughts that you think about your Freds (you've spoken to us about some of them) and the thoughts that you think when you are playing with Freds (you've spoken to us about some of that as well) and the thoughts that you think about relationships, you'll probably notice some habits of thought that you might want to clean up before you start contemplating this (or another) Fred's return.


    Moderator's note: I've tweaked your thread title to more clearly reflect the topic of your discussion.
    Last edited by WellBeing; 11-07-2017 at 12:23 PM. Reason: Added Moderator's note

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    Thank you! A funny thing is that you responded a while after I reached contentment!
    Yes, I realize that my problem is that I make people around me responsible for how I feel and it's not only about Freds. And I immediately forget that I need to pay attention to how I feel and that whenever I'm out of the Vortex then I need to find my way back in.
    Yes, my intention was to fix things between us. But I did feel relief! Discouragement was so much better than Fear! And yet he sent me such message. I don't get it. I like process 22 and I do it whenever something really bothers me but I have never experienced something like that. Whenever I was moving up the emotional scale everything was changing for the better. Could you please explain why did this happen?
    Yes, Abe would definitely say I can attract him back. Right now I'm closer to the Vortex and I know it like I know it like I know it I am able to attract him back. Do I want to attract him back? To be honest I'm not so sure. I went through emotions like blame and disappointment these last few hours and I wasn't so sure about attracting him back. But I will continue doing this process because it brings me dum dum dum relief!
    A while ago I reached contentment. I feel good about the fact that he texted me and told me what is going on. I am happy that it happened because thanks to that I found my way back to Abe and I can work a little bit more about this relationship - whether or not we'll end up together. Of course I know I attracted this situation so I shouldn't say anything like "Oh okay, he chose her, I don't care about him anymore."
    It was quite easy to reach contentment because the stream wasn't that fast. Right now it's hard to say what exactly my thoughts will be when I will reach the hope.
    For now I don't see this situation as the end of the world. Actually now when I feel contentment, I know that because of this situation my Vortex has updated. So I'll do my best to align with that and see what will happen

  4. #4
    Super Moderator WellBeing's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by betterandbetter View Post
    Yes, my intention was to fix things between us. But I did feel relief! Discouragement was so much better than Fear! And yet he sent me such message. I don't get it. I like process 22 and I do it whenever something really bothers me but I have never experienced something like that. Whenever I was moving up the emotional scale everything was changing for the better. Could you please explain why did this happen?
    I told you why: your intention was to use your Process as some sort of vibrational voodoo to get him back. When you could observe yourself progressing up the Scale with your words of Revenge, then Anger, then Discouragement, you were observing your progress up the Scale and, because of your observation, you were able to tell yourself that you were Abe-ing him to stay. But if you think back upon it, you really weren't soothing your Fear of him because you didn't actually acknowledge that until I pointed it out to you and you're still telling us how you do the same thing with people other than Fred. (And that makes sense because you've been doing that in your other Fred threads.) IOW, your dominant vibration really hasn't yet shifted on this topic so you got a manifestation which matched your dominant vibration.

    ETA: Let me put it plainly: You were doing your Process and as you moved up each rung of the Scale, you were probably telling yourself things like "Oh, I'm at Revenge which is higher up than Jealousy, so I'm closer to the Vortex which means that he won't leave me...Oh, goody, I'm at Anger, which is higher up than Revenge, so I'm even closer to the Vortex which means that he won't leave me...Oh, look at me, I'm at Discouragement which is higher up than Anger, so I'm closer than ever to the Vortex which means he won't leave me...." Are you seeing the "...which means that he won't leave me" refrain? That's the vibration that was actively attracting your manifestation.

    Quote Originally Posted by betterandbetter View Post
    Do I want to attract him back? To be honest I'm not so sure.
    That's probably the wisest thing I've read you post on this Forum. Good for you.

    But whether the next Fred is this one or somebody else, you do have some habits of thought (and emotional guidance resulting from them) that you may want to address.

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    Quote Originally Posted by WellBeing View Post
    ETA: Let me put it plainly: You were doing your Process and as you moved up each rung of the Scale, you were probably telling yourself things like "Oh, I'm at Revenge which is higher up than Jealousy, so I'm closer to the Vortex which means that he won't leave me...Oh, goody, I'm at Anger, which is higher up than Revenge, so I'm even closer to the Vortex which means that he won't leave me...Oh, look at me, I'm at Discouragement which is higher up than Anger, so I'm closer than ever to the Vortex which means he won't leave me...." Are you seeing the "...which means that he won't leave me" refrain? That's the vibration that was actively attracting your manifestation.
    Ok... now I see it very clearly...


    Quote Originally Posted by WellBeing View Post
    That's probably the wisest thing I've read you post on this Forum. Good for you.
    Haha Thank you!


    Actually just a moment ago a thought of texting him came to my mind. I'd like to have a videochat with him so he could not only feel but also see how much my energy has changed. I think it's a very good idea. But when I told my friend about it, she said I shouldn't do it because I will make a fool of myself.
    Where am I on the scale right now? Hopefulness. I hope that things between us may be amazing again. I hope this conversation will be good for me. I have no idea if it's going to be a good conversation or not, but I feel like I want to do it. Should I take action or just leave it as it is?

  6. #6
    Super Moderator WellBeing's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by betterandbetter View Post
    Where am I on the scale right now? Hopefulness.
    It's my opinion that Abraham deliberately and wisely chose the title of that vibration to be different than the commonly used "hope," because "hope" is another of the words that we humans have messed up.

    Hopefulness is a vibration. It's a pervasive, widespread feeling that this thing will work out in a wanted fashion because all these other things on these other topics have worked out in a wanted fashion.

    When most humans use the word "hope," it's more in the sense of "yearning" or "wishful thinking," rather than the Hopefulness that Abraham mean on the Scale. You go on to use "hope" in that common, human sense, rather than the vibration of Hopefulness, and you can feel the difference.

    Quote Originally Posted by betterandbetter View Post
    I hope that things between us may be amazing again. I hope this conversation will be good for me. I have no idea if it's going to be a good conversation or not, but I feel like I want to do it. Should I take action or just leave it as it is?
    You've heard what Abraham have to say about "taking action." They always tell us to line up our vibration first, to get ITV and then take our action. I'm not one to substitute myself for your own emotional guidance. Are you ITV?

    Only some six hours ago, you told us that you weren't even sure you wanted him back. You've just told us that you have a habit of not being able to hold your alignment in the face of what others do (or don't do). Your threads on Fred's would bear this out and your comment a few hours ago told us that this isn't just limited to Fred's. This is just me, but if I were in your situation, I would clean that important bit up before trying to fill your Fred vacancy. Otherwise, your habits of thoughts and of vibration will create another, similar situation. If this were my Art of Allowing (which, notice, is different from the Art of Getting Him Back) I would use my manifestation for its clarity on the things I do in a relationship. Then I would use my Abraham skills to get ready to be ready to be ready for the Fred's who are truly in my Vortex.

    But that's just me.

  7. #7

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    Fred found another - what happened?

    Okay, so i'm back.
    It wasn't an easy week for me and I have decided I want him back.
    Whenever I was in the Vortex (mostly by distracting myself) things between us were better. We chatted and it was nice. But when I told him I wanted to meet him, he said no. So since then I was trying to work with my emotions but it was hard because I couldn't find any thoughts that felt better to me, I had no idea where I was on the EGS scale which frustrated me even more. Today I messaged him and he said that's enough and he didn't want to talk to me. To be honest I messaged him when I was out of the Vortex and I wanted to make myself feel better by chatting with him.
    Actually I doubt that this other girl exists. I think he made that up and I actually have some proofs for that. I was scared of losing him to other girl and I attracted something similar.
    But today I decided I've had enough, I am an Aber and I can fix it with my Alignment. But I was in the pickle because I couldn't feel any BFTs. I wasn't feeling good, so how could I feel better? But then I thought I'll try with relief thoughts. And it did work! I even started laughing when I was listing my "at least..." sentences. And I have finally found the improvement in my emotions. I still have no idea where I am on the EGS scale, but it doesn't matter. I feel better, that's enough.
    Why everybody talks about "feeling better"? "Feeling relief" is much more appropriate when somebody feels bad - that's my opinion.
    So yes, I'm giving up on action journey. I'll take the emotional journey instead.

    ETA: I really liked the idea of relief. I will start reading AAIG in a minute with the intention of focusing on what Abraham talk about relief

  8. #8

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    Fred found another - what happened?

    I didn't want to open a new thread so I'll just ask my question here.
    So I've been focused on getting into the Vortex and staying there as long as possible and my life started to be better in general.
    At first I started getting "signs" regarding my old Fred but after some time there were also more and more signs regarding my new Fred. I decided not to think about them and see what will happen. Whenever I got a sign regarding my old Fred it was easy for me to stay in the Vortex - maybe because I took my time during the summer to move up on the emotional scale on that subject to boredom. But it was different with signs regarding my new Fred - they immediately got me out of the Vortex.
    And today I said enough's enough and I decided to move up the emotional scale when it comes to my new Fred. So I started with insecurity, guilt and unworthiness which are all at the same point on the EGS and I could feel them all. Then I moved up to jealousy but I wasn't satisfied and I knew I can feel better so I moved up to hatred. And that was it, I felt (and I still feel) so much relief and I stayed there. I know I should say I just feel better but I feel wonderful with these hatred thoughts.
    And about half an hour later I got a sign I am in alignment with him. It looked like it was a personal sign made just for me and it reminded me of how a good man he was/is.
    How's that possible? I feel so much hatred for him! I still do, that sign doesn't change anything. When I stop feeling relief, I'll move up to less negative emotions but for now hatred is just perfect.

  9. #9
    Super Moderator WellBeing's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by betterandbetter View Post
    And about half an hour later I got a sign I am in alignment with him. It looked like it was a personal sign made just for me and it reminded me of how a good man he was/is.
    How's that possible? I feel so much hatred for him! I still do, that sign doesn't change anything. When I stop feeling relief, I'll move up to less negative emotions but for now hatred is just perfect.
    I would say this differently. I hear you when you tell us that you deliberately and consciously shifted your vibration on this new one. (Good for you!)

    But, as I hear your story, I think you're misinterpreting your “sign.” The fact that you're describing how you feel about this topic (of “new Fred”) as “so much hatred” tells us that you far from the “alignment” that you're reporting. Hatred is at the opposite end of the Scale from “alignment.”

    Before I go on to my explanation, let's first revisit what “Hatred” is. Hatred feels like Hatred, because your IB has a different opinion than you're having in whatever it is you're hating. So, if you're hating him (and it's all right if you are) because you're telling yourself a story of how he's not a good man because he's with someone else (or because he's not with you), your Hatred is letting you know that your IB is recognizing all the ways he IS a good man, no matter whom he is with.

    With that piece in mind, what I think is more likely is that you truly felt your relief (in moving up from Jealousy to Hatred). Good for you. Your very clear experience of your relief was probably enough of a momentary distraction away from your thoughts of Hatred to allow you to, momentarily, let go of your cork. As Abraham teach, when we let go of our cork, it rises to the surface, where you were momentarily able to receive a thought from your IB, who was (as I mentioned) thinking about how good a man he is, which he is (even if he mayn’t be the “good a man” for you, right now).

    However, because your vibrational set-point currently is Hatred on this topic, you returned back to your set-point. As Abraham-Hicks teach, you grabbed your cork and pulled it right back down to your thoughts of Hatred about him.

    Were you momentarily “aligned”? That's not my place to say. You have an emotional guidance system to tell you that. (And it will be helpful to you to learn to use that--and not “signs” and not us--to guide your vibration.) Tell whatever story you can believe that feels best to you about that. That story will the closest to the story of your IB, who is connected to Infinite Intelligence, about your alignment.

    But what you're also telling us is your current practiced vibration on the topic of him is Hatred. Which means you have more of that delicious relief in store for you as you journey towards your vibrational set-point--a practiced, stable, steady vibration--of “alignment” on this topic.
    Last edited by WellBeing; 12-01-2017 at 11:01 PM. Reason: Typo

  10. #10

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    Quote Originally Posted by WellBeing View Post
    Your very clear experience of your relief was probably enough of a momentary distraction away from your thoughts of Hatred to allow you to, momentarily, let go of your cork. As Abraham teach, when we let go of our cork, it rises to the surface, where you were momentarily able to receive a thought from your IB, who was (as I mentioned) thinking about how good a man he is, which he is (even if he mayn’t be the “good a man” for you, right now).
    That might be the case. I felt like I was in the Vortex when I reached hatred and then I felt the same with the feeling of revenge. When I couldn't feel the relief in revenge anymore, I moved to anger and it wasn't the feeling close to alignment. Sure, I felt better than before but I couldn't feel like I was in the Vortex anymore. But it's alright, I could feel better and that's what counts! I went to sleep with the feeling of discouragement regarding my Fred and I had a very good dream about him! Actually I am shocked because even though I'm reaching for better feeling thoughts, there's still a long way to go. Well, I am also shocked because he appeared in my dream. I was sure it was all over.
    But yes, I have a question - why did he appear in my dream when I felt discouragement?

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