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Thread: Security and ease at work

  1. #1
    bearsbeetsbattlestar's Avatar
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    Security and ease at work

    I've been feeling pretty insecure at work lately. I've done a little soothing on the topic but I'd like to focus a little more on feeling better, and I think working it out here will be helpful.

    There is a lot of upheaval at my company right now and I'm suddenly terrified that I'm going to be laid off. All the boys have been given special projects but I haven't been given anything, not really, and they have become indispensable while I'm just kind of...coasting. I used to feel so secure and like what I did was important but not anymore. I'm really scared, and I don't think I've been honest with myself until this moment about how afraid I truly am.

    My steps for feeling better:
    1. acknowledge how I feel. don't try to run away from it.
    2. breathe and sit with it for a minute.
    3. remember: negative emotions are just indicators. indicators that i need a tiny adjustment in my thinking, i've gotten off the path a little and just need to find my way back. indicators that there's something screwy in my attitude- maybe some assumption i'm making that's not correct, or some weird beliefs, who knows. that's all this is- i don't have to fix myself or the world in this session, I just need to make a small tweak to my own thoughts. This already feels better.
    4. Go general.

    General.
    • people leave jobs and get new jobs all the time. not soothing, not general enough. try again.
    • this feels terrible. better.
    • i hate feeling insecure. it's awful.
    • i'm not sure what to do about this mess.
    • i'm not sure how this will all work out in the end.
    • it's scary to not know what's up ahead, around the bend.
    • it would be nice if i could just let go and trust the universe to work it all out for me.
    • it would be nice if i could remember that action isn't the way anyway.
    • it would be nice if i could remember that I'm a deliberate creator and if I could just CHILL- I mean REALLY chill, not that fake 'everything will be fine' pretty words I've been saying but actually relax about this- i would feel better.
    • i'm sure if I keep at this i will get to this point, and probably sooner than i think. i don't have access to chill right this second, but that doesn't mean i won't soon.
    • at least i'm on the right track by doing this work. i know that to be true, deep down. that's very comforting. i know i hit on something big here by the waterworks!
    • i've always been just fine in the past. things have always gotten better and better and better for me, professionally.
    • ok this is a big one: I don't have to change anyone else or anything else- not my job description, not my boss, not my other boss, not my coworkers, not our clients, not the industry. I only have to change my own thoughts. That's it! That's my only responsibility here, that's my jurisdiction, that's where my sphere of influence begins and ends. I don't have to kiss anyone's ass, or run around and appear busier than I am, or try and change anyone's mind, or be overly nice, or joke around too much, or do anything of the sort. It won't work anyway, not as long as I'm feeling insecure! Silly rabbit, I forgot for a minute that I'm a deliberate creator.


    Feeling lighter now, enough for the moment.

  2. #2
    bearsbeetsbattlestar's Avatar
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    I'm not feeling inspired on this Monday morning, not looking forward to going to the office. I'm not feeling as much fear as before...it's more like...pessimism and boredom at the moment. But also some powerlessness so maybe I'm lower than I think...but it's more in a 'whatever' kind of way. Anyway, it doesn't really matter, I just want to feel a little bit better as I start my day. I'm also so incredibly tired but I got lots of sleep over the weekend so I think it has more to do with my emotional state than my physical state.

    Ok here goes. On the topic of my work/job, at this moment I feel pessimistic and so bored, like I could fall asleep in a second if I gave the subject any thought at all. The whole topic is so incredibly boring. And I don't know how to snap out of it, I used to really like my job, i liked going to work (even on a Monday!). What's really going on here is that I don't feel valued or important. And if big boss doesn't think what I do adds value, what's the point?

    As an Aber, I know that other people are just a reflection of how I'm feeling, so I guess what I really need to take a look at is whether or not I value my own work at this company. I've definitely been downplaying the importance of my own role for a long time, why do I do this? Even just to myself. I think I need a little positive aspects work for myself and my job and performance. I realize now that I focus a lot on the negative aspects- things I forgot, things I don't do perfectly, things I need to get better at or haven't mastered yet- while totally disregarding all the (many!) tasks that I perform very well, as a matter of course.

    You know, actually...I do a great number of things really well. I do above and beyond, I try to make the company better, I come up with ideas to streamline and make things more efficient and I actually care about the company and all my coworkers. Most of the reporting that I do is flawless; it's very rare that something will come back with a correction when I send it for a review. People come to me and ask for my advice on things. I serve a very important function- just because my job is a little nebulous at times and I do lots of different things doesn't mean all those things aren't important. Just because other people are suddenly super busy on new projects doesn't mean that I need to do the same. Maybe I could be open to new opportunities and projects, but in an assistant capacity. Maybe I don't need to run around like a chicken with its head cut off to feel effective and valuable. Actually I have a couple really perfect examples of that in my own company that I can model.

    I remember now that I have a choice in how this all plays out. I'm a deliberate creator. If I feel start valuing myself and my work more highly, the rest will just fall into place. I've just had a little bit of a screwy idea of what 'important' looks like. It's not necessarily working a million hours a week or staying late or coming in early. I could absolutely work for 3 hours a day and be doing really important, valuable work.

    Also I need to remember that with my job there are really frantically busy periods and also quiet periods. Right now I'm in a quiet period.

    Enough relief for now, this feels good.

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