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Thread: Relationship Help

  1. #1

    Relationship Help

    Hey guys i just felt like reading a little bit about Abraham's take on my situation. My Fred got in touch with me and incessantly continued to do so, day and night- just when I noticed through social media that he at the same time started dating this other girl. I feel used and hurt. I don't understand why he got in touch with me while seeing this other girl at the same time. I just can't connect the dots. I so much want to get over him but am finding it so difficult to do so since both of them keep posting photos of them on social media at my face. I don't know if he is doing this to make me feel jealous or to hurt me purposely. Either way I feel bad. Like I have wasted so much time over him. I want to get over him and move on. If someone can throw light on how I can do so with their social media presence. I feel like unfriending them would be relief to my eyes. I want to move on so badly, it makes me cry. I just want to be happy.


  2. #2
    Super Moderator WellBeing's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by freebee <3 View Post
    I feel used and hurt.
    You feel this because that's the story that you are telling about this situation, not because of anything that they did or are doing. That's good news because you can't change anything that they did or are doing but you CAN change the story you are telling.

    Quote Originally Posted by freebee <3 View Post
    I don't understand why he got in touch with me while seeing this other girl at the same time.
    Doesn't matter. I don't know; maybe he's just a jerk.

    Quote Originally Posted by freebee <3 View Post
    I just can't connect the dots.
    You tell us that you've been reading about Abraham's take on your situation. I don't recall where they ask us to “connect the dots” in order to feel better. They don't ask us to connect the dots because they know there is only more heartache there in connecting the dots, as you're discovering.

    Quote Originally Posted by freebee <3 View Post
    I so much want to get over him but am finding it so difficult to do so since both of them keep posting photos of them on social media at my face.
    Who’s holding the gun to your head, insisting you put your face on social media?

    You say you want to get over him and that's understandable. And you've been learning that you can't get over him by trying to get to the bottom of this, or even staying on this subject.

    There are literally millions of other subjects you can focus on right now that have nothing to do with him or her which will feel better when you focus there. If you want to be happy, you'll start with feeling BETTER.


    Quote Originally Posted by freebee <3 View Post
    I don't know if he is doing this to make me feel jealous or to hurt me purposely.
    He doesn't have any ability to “make you feel” this way or that. He cannot hurt you. No one can. If you hurt (meaning that you're feeling emotions that are uncomfortable to you) that's ONLY because you are thinking thoughts which are out of alignment with the thoughts that your IB is thinking at that same moment about that very same topic. You can use these Abraham tools and techniques to soothe and to shift that.

    Quote Originally Posted by freebee <3 View Post
    Either way I feel bad.
    That's you hurting you. That's you hurting you by thinking thoughts and telling yourself stories with which your IB will not agree. You can change that. You can begin with a good cry and then a nap and then taking your hand off of this hot stove, letting your momentum subside some. When you have let your momentum subside so that this is not the raw and ragged topic that it currently is for you, then you can find thoughts which still seem true to you (as the ones you've shared with us here) yet which feel better. As you keep doing that, you can make your way to the "happy" that you want.
    Last edited by WellBeing; 2 Weeks Ago at 04:26 PM. Reason: Formatting

  3. #3
    Quote Originally Posted by WellBeing View Post
    You feel this because that's the story that you are telling about this situation, not because of anything that they did or are doing. That's good news because you can't change anything that they did or are doing but you CAN change the story you are telling.


    Doesn't matter. I don't know; maybe he's just a jerk.


    You tell us that you've been reading about Abraham's take on your situation. I don't recall where they ask us to “connect the dots” in order to feel better. They don't ask us to connect the dots because they know there is only more heartache there in connecting the dots, as you're discovering.


    Who’s holding the gun to your head, insisting you put your face on social media?

    You say you want to get over him and that's understandable. And you've been learning that you can't get over him by trying to get to the bottom of this, or even staying on this subject.

    There are literally millions of other subjects you can focus on right now that have nothing to do with him or her which will feel better when you focus there. If you want to be happy, you'll start with feeling BETTER.



    He doesn't have any ability to “make you feel” this way or that. He cannot hurt you. No one can. If you hurt (meaning that you're feeling emotions that are uncomfortable to you) that's ONLY because you are thinking thoughts which are out of alignment with the thoughts that your IB is thinking at that same moment about that very same topic. You can use these Abraham tools and techniques to soothe and to shift that.


    That's you hurting you. That's you hurting you by thinking thoughts and telling yourself stories with which your IB will not agree. You can change that. You can begin with a good cry and then a nap and then taking your hand off of this hot stove, letting your momentum subside some. When you have let your momentum subside so that this is not the raw and ragged topic that it currently is for you, then you can find thoughts which still seem true to you (as the ones you've shared with us here) yet which feel better. As you keep doing that, you can make your way to the "happy" that you want.
    I don't want to give up my social media because of them. I feel more comfortable just unfollowing them. And you are right about the hurting part. I am hurting myself. I guess I'm going to give myself time for the momentum to subside. I'm going to love myself more. I'm going to take good care of me. I am worthy of something so much better. In time the universe will bring me the man of my dreams. Till then I'm just going to focus on myself. That feels like the easier path to take.


  4. #4
    Super Moderator WellBeing's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by freebee <3 View Post
    I don't want to give up my social media because of them. I feel more comfortable just unfollowing them.
    There you go. Good for you for deciding not to stick your nose (Because Abraham suggest that, instead of it being called "Facebook," it could more accurately be called "Nosebook") somewhere you know you're going to hurt yourself.

    And in your decision-making process, you had a glimpse which told you that your story about them posting their pictures at your face and how difficult that was for you to do your vibrational "work" was not the most accurate story you could have been telling yourself about this aspect of your situation. By changing your story, you have an opportunity to hurt yourself less.

    When you let your momentum subside some, examine the rest of your story about this and find ways to tell your story so that it still seems true to you yet feels better.

  5. #5
    Beloved Woman paradise-on-earth's Avatar
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