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Thread: How to handle a partner who is apparently not sane

  1. #21
    Jewel M.'s Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Eostre View Post
    I completely agree. I have to be getting something out of this whole thing, and I have to feel what that is and decide how to change it. I think we are basically mirroring our "faults" back at each other. More work to do.
    Eostre,

    Others mirror us, indeed.

    I watched The Dog Whisperer, the TV show....and Cesar Millan, the dog trainer, said that an angry dog is just a nervous dog. That made me feel more compassionate about an angry dog....as I am sensitive....I don't do well with angry vicious energy....it feels like fire. And it is the same with people. There's some nervousness behind anger. And that's very understandable....aren't we all a little nervous at times? Are you feeling a little nervous? Sometimes we don't acknowledge it....don't fully realize it.

    Love soothes.

    You can love others in their nervousness.....and love yourself in your nervousness.

    Find some alignment....some comfort.

    In my alignment, I see that our beings are love itself....as is everything around us.

    Behind the violence in the world is just some nervousness.

    Nervousness I can calm...I can understand.

    I have a niece who is bipolar....I support her by giving her unconditional love. I support her wellness in every way. I don't live near her, or speak with her often....but my support is there. It's with her always. You don't have to be near your boyfriend to support him.



  2. #22
    WellBean's Avatar
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    How to handle a partner who is apparently not sane

    Quote Originally Posted by Eostre View Post
    I completely agree. I have to be getting something out of this whole thing, and I have to feel what that is and decide how to change it. I think we are basically mirroring our "faults" back at each other. More work to do.
    Can I massage this a bit?? I feel like you are taking this at least a little bit as a “not good enough” and “should be different”.

    What if EVERYTHING is in your favor, even when you can’t see it??

    As Jerry would say — I wonder what’s right about this.

    And you can choose to see it this way. Sometimes standing in the middle of the storm it feels impossible to say “there is wellbeing here and I’m so wonderfully on my path!” but you can be willing to be willing to say it.

    And once you choose that’s it’s all FOR you, it’s so much easier to see that it is (instead of waiting for evidence that can’t come if you have decided life is against you).

    What if it’s not that your mirroring your faults at each other, but that these things that are coming into your awareness are the things your inner being is showing you on the way down a very fast moving stream?

    In other words, you WANT to learn to navigate challenging experiences. You WANT to know where all those glitches are.

    We think we want an easy smooth ride in a safe four door sedan on a straight highway at a reasonable speed. But we really came for the ride!! And when we get behind the wheel of that supercar, we don’t drive slowly and only 20 feet. No!! We want to learn to drive the car by feeling out its limits — we want to feel the G-forces as we hug the curves. We want to accelerate in the straightaways!!

    We WANT the feedback LOA is giving us so we can learn to really enjoy the ride.

    And yes, sometimes it sucks!! Sometimes we drive into a tree. But even then we can find ways to feel a little better.

    Which doesn’t mean stay in a difficult situation. Only you can feel that out as to what feels right for you. But either way, you are doing fine and your Inner Being is steadily holding well being for you, and all the beautiful things you are moving towards.

    I love when Abraham says “some people are easier to love when they are over there”

  3. #23
    Eostre's Avatar
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    So much good stuff here! thank you all!

    Things are already starting to turn around a bit and I already feel much better than I did. I started listening again to "the Vortex" CD in my car and that has helped as well as all your responses. I'm sure that I will find my way , it just may take me some time. But that's OK....I feel much more hopeful now and like I can do this. Things will all work out for the best one way or another.

  4. #24
    songbird's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Eostre View Post
    Thanks so much to all who responded!
    Marc and WellBeing, there's so much good information here I will have to take some time to ponder.

    Lemon up, you and Songbird and WellBean always really have soothing words....I do seem to have always attracted men who "need" to be "taken care of" in some way. I like what you said about him having his own Source to listen to, and if it can't get through then how in the world can I? Good point.

    Even though I "shouldn't" be focusing on what to DO...it is still difficult to know how to verbally or otherwise respond sometimes when the conversation seems to go off in the weeds. I get confused and have no idea how to respond or IF I should even respond. Those times, nothing I do or say or DON'T do or say seems to be helpful. Walking away can make things worse. Staying in the room can make things worse. Those are the times I find hardest to know how to relate in some way that won't make things worse. Of course, this morning he's all "fine" and the excuse was he was just tired.
    It's hard to deal with someone whose apparent thoughts change so radically from one day or moment to the next...it keeps me very off balance and I have trouble even imagining what my IB might feel about the whole situation. I just freeze up.

    That's why I've been working on mediation so much. It seems to be the only process that Abe says helps no matter where you are on the emotional scale. I do spend as much time as i can in nature and with my cat.
    With regard to action.
    Its good to remember that it is part of it, action is part of life. But also that it is the VIBRATION that causes the particular action....from a lower vibration we would not have access to behavior that we would from higher up on the scale, for example.

    So although, action yes, is part of it.
    Vibration, is a much BIGGER part.
    That really, was the message that i was trying to get across, maybe clearer now than before!

    So, when we focus on action, we are loosing out for two reasons.
    One, as i said above, because the action "available" to us come from where we are on the scale.
    Two, focusing on "what to do", can keep us focused in the vibration of the "problem" rather on the vibration of the "solution".

    The more helpful question, really to ask ourselves, is "how can I feel better emotionally right now in THIS moment, where all my power IS".
    How can I FEEL a little better, emotionally.
    How can I let go of the oars, and turn downstream.
    How can i find myself a little EMOTIONAL relief.
    How can I go with the flow a little.
    How can I be easier, lighter, more general

  5. #25
    Beloved Woman paradise-on-earth's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Eostre View Post
    thank you so much, POE!

    Perfect quotes, as usual!

    Quote Originally Posted by Eostre View Post
    So much good stuff here! thank you all!

    Things are already starting to turn around a bit and I already feel much better than I did. I started listening again to "the Vortex" CD in my car and that has helped as well as all your responses. I'm sure that I will find my way , it just may take me some time. But that's OK....I feel much more hopeful now and like I can do this. Things will all work out for the best one way or another.
    Thats big.

  6. #26
    songbird's Avatar
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    Can you see that your better feeling thoughts, about this, are what will bring the "solution" to you.

    Can you "see" how your feeling a bit better, is what is "making" things a bit better?

    From your better feeling place, you attracted the vortex cd idea.
    And from that you are feeling better and better.

    You sound more "hopeful",
    You sound more at "ease"
    You sound "easier" about it.
    You sound more "confident in your Self".
    You sound more "sure"
    You sound more "certain" things will work out....in time.

    Your resistance is less.

    So that you are more of a vibrational "match" to the broader, wiser, loving Source Inner Being perspective.

    It really is, VIBRATIONAL, emotional, "work" isn;t it; moving closer to the perspective and the emotions of your inner being. EASE, LOVE, WISDOM.

    And your doing really well, keep listening to your emotions.


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