I was reading another lovely Fred thread and was inspired to write all this out. It is hard to be happy when they're not around, the Fred! I just texted the guy I like….
Maybe it's good to mash it all out and get it out. I thought of writing a while back a few times but I was just like, no, that's stupid, don't write it on the forum. I know I can get an answer, some sort of solid answer, like I must demand an answer from the universe and if I go to the forum, then it will get figured out.
I LOVE HIM!!! I've never met such a guy in my life.
I think about him all the time but he is soo busy and traveling and doesn't invite me.
I'm on my couch, wishing I was on his couch watching a movie & eating popcorn.
But he's rarely home, and he lives down the street from me, a walk away. I also envisioned all these elaborate shopping sprees with specific things that would be cool for that place, but he doesn't even live there hardly! it didn't happen yet. I should focus on my own place and my decor.
I wonder why the universe synched me up with this man, and I wonder if I'll ever see him again.
I also cried a while back, horribly, I didn't text him or tell him in person, but I broke-up with him, I thought it would make my career weak, and I don't know why else. Maybe I was doubtful of a divine partner or true love.
I called him to myself, my ex, but we met up later and had a glorious time!! And once I was outside this building,
upset and eating bread, I don't usually eat it, I just felt down and was giving up on him, I walked in because I had to do something, and he was right there across from me! He didn't even see me at first, I saw him and barely recognized him.
I have no idea why I met up with this man!
But it is agony not to be with him, I love talking to him, I love his jokes, we talk non-stop and laugh, and the passion we have is something that is red hot that I've rarely had before.
But then he has all these catch phrases that are snippy and rude, like red flag bachelor stuff, and I feel some residue of this way after like a bad taste in your mouth. He also is adamant about not having a girlfriend, yet we get along so well, so I have no idea if I will meet someone else or if he will come back around. And he proposed marriage! In a roundabout sort of way.
He is like my dream man!
But he is never around, don't see him for weeks and months. He was on a trip and I thought it would be fun to pick him up from the airport, never heard from him that way. He even made plans & invited me over. Then forgot and I was really sad by that. I was lonely and ate gross pecan pie for the sugar rush, and was lonely for my animal who crossed over.
I feel broken and incomplete without this person, bruised and almost sick. I don't want to feel this way you can't let another person give you happiness. I don't know why I have to feel this way if there is no man in my life. I've been run down
since my animal died too and am looking for a dog. I've seen this dog and visualized this dog just now, and also many years ago, like 10 or more, in a vision.
I just like him so much, irrationally for no reason I can articulate, just a feeling of belonging, but I don't want to block meeting other people if I am holding on to him.
I have all these rampage moments, and supercharged moments, through some of the writing I do, but then I
plummet down after and have no one to talk to at the end of the day. I've lost that happy, chippery cappucino feeling lately. And have been really depressed, I am not usually depressed too much, but I hate my apartment and am joyfully manifesting a bright, creative sunny space with a lawn! And I don't have a car yet, but I affirming joyfully, and expecting even this little ultra cheap used thing that I am now focusing on, in appreciation as a gift from the universe!! That feeling that everything is wonderful, everything is great, like the feeling when you just go to a cafe you like and the capuccino is great.
I don't get why we met, I mean I sort of do, but I wish he would work out or another one. I don't want to wait by the phone, wait for text messages, it messes up energy and flow, but I always like hearing from him.
But what if he is the worst thing that could happen to me? What if he is just a soul con artist? I try to let him go, like floating down a river, just breathing it out and letting go, because I don't want to be in this anxiety of wondering where he is, he doesn't want to call, hang out or text, he probably rarely thinks of me. Past few days, I just tried to let him go, like it won't work, he is too busy, I am too energetic and always want to go do things or take trips, but then I think of him again, wanting to hang out.
The exciting thing though, is he doesn't really know who I am, because it hasn't happened yet, one particular thing.
So if he finds this out, he'll be surprised, or maybe he won't even know!
Maybe our lives just crossed for that time, way back. He's not around and is busy with his life and work and everything, the rejection feels like the worst stomach ache. He's probably working or with his family or maybe he has other dates.
I'm surprised about this thing that's going to happen, and have for a long time, but maybe you just want a little attention and flattery every so often. I thought it was too late, to give up, but I keep visualizaing and manifesting and diary writing, and it still says it's possible.

It just seems like the universe matched us up somehow in a certain way that wasn't even our choice. But on the other hand I just have to let him go, he is loosing interest or just busy. It's this really sad flip flop. I usually roll over when I get up and check my text messages,
pretty certain he'd write, and it's not there. It feels like we are made for each other sort of.
It's like he goes into this trance, and says all this stuff we could do in five years, but then another time he's like, I will never see you again, this was just limited fling and it still is. I'm laughing but it's sort of painful like I have to dechiper what he says like a detective. And he's not around to chat about it. He said he never will marry anyone, then he asked me. What the…?

And then I heard from him, and he was like, I'm on my way over there, we live far apart and he was coming over this way. And he never stopped by my house or the shop near here. He drives by my house, he has to, it's the only route way. I'm trying to stress the laughing parts, like you'd be joking with girlfriends, instead of the heartbroke and broken parts. Like lighten it up.
It seems like at any moment he could just arrive at my door, yet on the other hand, I might never see him again in my life.
I just want to be happy and focused on me and my life and jobs and hobbies etc not unhappy. I don't know if I know how. I am looking for a dog because they will love you 24/7. Have been looking for a very long time, the right one to adopt from the rescues.
But he is such a handsome stud!! I don't think I have met anyone like him in my life. I also (sadly) feel that once I meet him, I won't be able to meet anyone else, like no one else will compare.
A while back when we hung out, every time we hung out, it got better and better and better and better and more fun and more fun and more fun!! He said the sweetest things over and over and they kept coming like constant rain. Every time we hung out there'd be this cute moment or he'd say something that melted my heart. I almost went on here every time to talk about it, but never did, like he gets better and better thread. Now it has just stopped I haven't seen him for a while. Can't it pick up with him or another person? He even guessed once the exact same car I am going for, only I'll take anything, even a used older car, yet I didn't have the car and missed the trip.
I like this guy. But he doesn't think so? Maybe I'll met someone with his same name. His name kept coming up through other conversations and a party.