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Thread: Practicing deliberately shifting to a better feeling place

  1. #1

    Practicing deliberately shifting to a better feeling place

    I always always always feel better when I shift my vibration to a better place by choosing different thoughts. I now have several, if not many, examples of where I have done this successfully and the memory of them gives me confidence that I can do it again, anytime, whenever I choose that I want to.

    The latest of which was when I was feeling a ton of anxiety recently. I was spiraling with it, freaking out, heart racing, when I decided: all I wanted to do was to feel less anxious. I was willing to give up trying to figure out what I did wrong, stop trying to find out what other people thought of me, I literally just wanted to stop feeling so anxious. Once I made that decision, and remembered had the absolute ability to do that - I did. And it was remarkable. I just chose a few thoughts on a different topic that felt better, I fell asleep, and woke up in the vortex. I didn't even need coffee that morning I was so tapped in turned on.

    I want to feel better right now about my life, my job, and my relationships. More specifically I want to feel better about my ability to set boundaries and that I am okay.

    Current thoughts:
    I hate the feeling of fat on my hips right now (bad)
    I absolutely hate the feeling of my fat touching the sheets (bad)
    I'm so tired (kinda a little better)
    I wish my cat didn't smell like cat litter right now (kinda a little beter)
    It's really sweet how she is so cuddly (better)
    My nails are a nice color (same)
    I have so much to do in the morning (worse)
    I'm nervous about Jack being here all weekend (worse)
    I'm glad that my home is pretty clean (still doesn't feel great)

    I can see that I've really got a lot of thoughts on many topics that's don't feel good.

    I don't want to talk to Mary about how she's mad at me (bad)
    I do think that Mary has unrealistic expectations of a friendship (better)
    Other people don't like Mary (better)
    I actually don't like how I feel after hanging out with Mary either (better)
    She has many characteristics that remind me of a mean childhood friend, they even kind of look the same (better)
    I've never had great relationships with females, maybe setting some boundaries with her will help me to establish better relationships with everyone (better)
    I'm worried though that she is just going to blame me and I'll look bad (worse)
    I would write out what I mean before I go so I will stick to my boundaries (better)
    It's ok that you don't have healthy boundaries, because you didn't learn them (better)
    How am I going to handle her bullying me? (Worse)
    Maybe I need to take charge (better)
    Maybe I can tell her that I feel like I am disappointing her and not meeting her expectations, which is true (better), and I don't like feeling like I'm letting her down which is also true (better)
    Am I sorry? No, I'm not. She didn't book any time off work, we never fully confirmed, she just wants to stick to something because it works for her. But it doesn't work for me, and I reserve the right to change my mind. I understand that she is disappointed, and I wish that it still worked with my schedule, but it doesn't (better).
    If she suggests that maybe we shouldn't be friends, maybe she's right (worse)
    I'm not really getting much out of this friendship anyway (better)
    I understand that other people plan things further in advance than I do, and it's not that I'm waiting for something better, it's that I don't want to get myself into plans that are inflexible. Plus, all I asked is if she was willing to think about it. This has to work with both of our schedules and I need her understanding. If we can't make it work, fine. (Worse)

    I'm gaining too much negative momentum here getting into the weeds.

    I don't have to figure this out this red hot minute (better)
    I know that setting boundaries has felt hard but I know I know how to do it (better)
    This is probably a really good thing for me (meh, don't believe it)
    This is a good way for me to start being honest with myself (better)
    I've gotten over guys by listing the things I don't like about them (better)
    This is a skill I need to learn (better)
    I'm going to have to see what feels right (better)
    I'm looking forward to getting rid of relationships that don't feel right (here we go! Much better! Let's pivot!)
    Wouldn't it be really nice to have friends who's happiness wasn't dependent on me?
    Wouldn't it be really nice to never have to worry if a friend was mad at me?
    Wouldn't it be really nice to have friends that have similar interests and values?
    Wouldn't it be nice to not have to do things I don't want to do? Or listen to bullshit I honestly don't care about? Or relay information about my personal life I don't want to talk about? Or have to deal with the judgements these women place on me to put me down? Wouldn't it be great not to have to listen to any gossip, or feel any competition with a guy, or have to analyze stupid shit?
    Maybe if I set boundaries with these women that treat me shitty, I would become a stronger person (better)
    Maybe this is a real reason many of my relationships in life have felt so unsatisfactory (better)
    Maybe if I clear our these negative women that I don't even rally like, I'll open room for real friends (better)
    Wouldn't it be nice if new friends just flowed effortlessly into my life (better)
    They certainly have flowed effortlessly into my life before (better)
    I live in a great city to find likeminded, independent women who won't boss me around (better)
    I bet this kind of boundary setting would even make my professional relationships better too (better)
    But what if Mary still wants to be friends (worse)
    I don't have to figure that out right now (better)
    I'm looking forward to meeting up with other busy women who aren't needy (better)
    I'm looking forward to spending some time wth myself (better)
    I'm looking forward to dating in peace (better)
    I already know some women I would like to touch base with (better)
    I'm starting to feel excited that I have the ability to choose the people I want in my life (better)
    I'm ready to have friendships that feel less like obligations (better)
    Maybe I'll try new things to meet people (better)
    The first boundary I can set is telling Mary when I can meet with her, and it's not while Jack is in town.

    So I'm for sure feeling better than before. I'm probably sitting around hopeful, though I get I don't need to label it. I know I could work further up the scale, actually, but I' really quite tired and could use a good night's sleep.

    A simple gratitude list to close off the evening: I'm grateful for fresh air, scented body lotion that isn't sticky, my ability to manifest, my nails look nice, my skin is starting to clear up, my cat loves me, my house is so nice and clean, my cleaning lady folded my laundry, fresh sheets, my white noise machine, my purring cat, grocery delivery, my contractor who helped fix my door while I was away, meal prep services, that my mom and dad are both alive and well, that I have a good relationship with my sister, that I'm AWARE (finally) that I need to set boundaries and know how to do it, that I'm going to have an excellent sleep tonight!

    Good night all.

  2. #2
    I'm sitting somewhere around overwhelment and wanting to feel better just cause...well, cause I can and I love being a deliberate creator!

    I only have two hours to get all my house clean! (Overwhelment)
    I hate cleaning the litter box (same)
    I really want Jack to like my home and be impressed by me (worse)
    I still have to shower and everything, and I'm so tired (worse)
    How am I going to get everything done in 2 measley hours? (Same)
    I procrastinate so bad at my job (same)
    I'm ashamed of how much I procrastinate and feel undeserving (worse)
    I really do like my home when it is clean, which it currently isn't (worse)
    I really do enjoy my shower (better)
    I like that I have new shampoo and conditioner (better)
    I'm nervous for Jack to visit me this weekend (worse)
    My apartment is small and we will be in close quarters, what if he hates my home like my ex did? (Worse)
    He might not hate my home though (kinda better)
    I am afraid of being seen, I think this is a shame thing (same)

    I think I'm going down a rabbit hole here...let's shift

    My inner being sees me fully (ok, maybe a bit off in the bushes)
    I'm getting better and better at enjoying my own company (better)
    I really do like my home (better)
    I'm responsible (better)
    I'm allowed to be tired today (better)
    My home is such a reflection of my style (better)
    I like my bar stools and their bright yellow color
    I like my blue chair
    I like my view of the city
    I like my pink pillows
    I like my map of the world
    I like my gallery wall
    I like the color of my bathroom
    I like the photos on my fridge
    I like my awesome HD tv
    I like my colorful ottoman
    I like my sweet wallpaper!
    I like the basket weaved thing on the wall too
    I like the pretty lights
    My butt is really quite cute considering I don't workout much

    I still feel nervous that Jack doesn't really like me, and I'm trying to feel better but I'm not sure it's really working. Maybe it's not supposed to matter if Jack likes me or not. I think that's where I need to get. My happiness shouldn't depend on what Jack thinks of me. Right now I honestly just feel an immense amount of pressure to appear a certain way.

  3. #3
    Super Moderator WellBeing's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jakeysnakey View Post
    I still feel nervous that Jack doesn't really like me, and I'm trying to feel better but I'm not sure it's really working. Maybe it's not supposed to matter if Jack likes me or not.
    However, it DOES matter TO YOU if Jack likes you or not. What do you tell yourself if Jack doesn't like you? What do you tell yourself if Jack does like you? What are the thoughts that you are thinking about this matter to you? It's hard to shift your thoughts if you don't start with the thoughts that you're thinking. What are they about this topic to you? (Hint: those thoughts are probably not so much about Jack as they are about you.)

    Quote Originally Posted by jakeysnakey View Post
    Right now I honestly just feel an immense amount of pressure to appear a certain way.
    There you go.

    Now, that pressure that you're feeling is coming from you and the thoughts that you're thinking. You can soften and soothe (I really love that word because, to me, it really captures what Abraham are asking us to do.) your thoughts. What are those thoughts? And then, what would you tell a dear friend of similar appearance who comes to you telling you those thoughts about Joe? And, remember, your friend has a really good BS detector and will know when you're pissing on her shoes trying to convince her it's raining outside. So, keep it real.

  4. #4
    Quote Originally Posted by WellBeing View Post
    However, it DOES matter TO YOU if Jack likes you or not. What do you tell yourself if Jack doesn't like you? What do you tell yourself if Jack does like you? What are the thoughts that you are thinking about this matter to you? It's hard to shift your thoughts if you don't start with the thoughts that you're thinking. What are they about this topic to you? (Hint: those thoughts are probably not so much about Jack as they are about you.)
    You're right, it does matter to me about Jack. It matters to me if most people like me, not just him. If he does like me, I think "hey, I'm alright! I must be doing ok. Maybe I am alright after all. If he doesn't, and I think I'm more afraid of if he DOESNT like me...I think things like "well, just another confirmation that nobody really likes me once the really see me." I almost expect people not to like me anymore. It always seems that once I'm open and vulnerable with people, they leave me, and I'm so familiar with how that hurt feels. It doesn't surprise me that people dont like me anymore. I never seem to be able to live up to their expectations. I feel like I'm coming to terms with the fact that maybe I won't find a partner for a long time. I'm becoming happier being by myself with kind of transient friendships that fill the time if I want to go out. I'm tired of trying to contort myself to make somebody like me, though clearly I'm still doing it. I get that this sounds negative, but at I feel less desperately grasping than I have in the past.

    However, I can also take this in the direction of:

    It's really not my job to please anybody (better)
    I actually can't please anybody - that not how we were made (better)
    I'm going to treat Jack like a friend, and put some distance between us (kinda better)

    I want to get to "I'm just perfect the way I am!" But I can't get there from where I'm currently at.

    And, remember, your friend has a really good BS detector and will know when you're pissing on her shoes trying to convince her it's raining outside. So, keep it real.
    What do you mean by this comment? Are we talking about Mary here? Cause what feels right to me is to set some clear boundaries and back away from this relationship.

    Thanks, WB, as always!

  5. #5
    Super Moderator WellBeing's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jakeysnakey View Post
    You're right, it does matter to me about Jack. It matters to me if most people like me, not just him. If he does like me, I think "hey, I'm alright! I must be doing ok. Maybe I am alright after all. If he doesn't, and I think I'm more afraid of if he DOESNT like me...I think things like "well, just another confirmation that nobody really likes me once the really see me." I almost expect people not to like me anymore. It always seems that once I'm open and vulnerable with people, they leave me, and I'm so familiar with how that hurt feels. It doesn't surprise me that people dont like me anymore. I never seem to be able to live up to their expectations. I feel like I'm coming to terms with the fact that maybe I won't find a partner for a long time. I'm becoming happier being by myself with kind of transient friendships that fill the time if I want to go out. I'm tired of trying to contort myself to make somebody like me, though clearly I'm still doing it.
    So, soothe this^^^. Don't worry that it sounds negative. If it wasn't "negative," you wouldn't be doing "work" on it, right?

    But you've just uncovered a whole bunch of resistant thoughts that you think with which you are putting pressure on yourself. Take some of that pressure off.

    Quote Originally Posted by jakeysnakey View Post
    However, I can also take this in the direction of:

    It's really not my job to please anybody (better)
    This is what I meant by your friend (read my passage over again. What would you tell a dear friend of similar appearance who came to you with these thoughts?) having a really good BS detector. It's going off right here because you don't really Believe this (you actually Believe more its opposite), so she's not buying it either.

    So, this hypothetical friend (NOT Mary) has come to you with a story where she feels that if she doesn't look this way and if she has more curves here it's good but if she has more curves there it's bad and if she doesn't act the right way or if she hasn't been to the gym enough or if she's eaten a cookie that day or if she doesn't say the right thing at the right time or if she doesn't laugh at his jokes, then her Joe (and everyone else she knows) is going to leave her. In fact, they're all eventually going to leave her. And then she'll be alone and she's already being alone and she doesn't like it, NOT ONE BIT AT ALL. What would you tell her that she'll believe and that will help her feel better.

    Quote Originally Posted by jakeysnakey View Post
    Are we talking about Mary here? Cause what feels right to me is to set some clear boundaries and back away from this relationship.
    I'm not talking about Mary and Abraham's not a big fan of "setting boundaries," because that's the action journey which really doesn't work. You have only to look at every human war fought on this planet to see that. "Boundaries" are not enough to offset your vibration which is calling those behaviors (in Jack and in Mary and in everyone else) from Mary (and Jack and everyone else). Change your vibration and you'll attract different experiences.

  6. #6
    Quote Originally Posted by WellBeing View Post

    This is what I meant by your friend (read my passage over again. What would you tell a dear friend of similar appearance who came to you with these thoughts?) having a really good BS detector. It's going off right here because you don't really Believe this (you actually Believe more its opposite), so she's not buying it either.

    So, this hypothetical friend (NOT Mary) has come to you with a story where she feels that if she doesn't look this way and if she has more curves here it's good but if she has more curves there it's bad and if she doesn't act the right way or if she hasn't been to the gym enough or if she's eaten a cookie that day or if she doesn't say the right thing at the right time or if she doesn't laugh at his jokes, then her Joe (and everyone else she knows) is going to leave her. In fact, they're all eventually going to leave her. And then she'll be alone and she's already being alone and she doesn't like it, NOT ONE BIT AT ALL. What would you tell her that she'll believe and that will help her feel better.
    Yes, this is a pretty accurate description of what is going on in my head. How can I get from "its not my job to please everybody" to a better feeling, believable place? Hmmm...well, now Jack is gone and I'm pretty sure he likes me enough so I feel temporarily and conditionally good enough to move onto worrying about other things.

    Right now I'm stressing out about work, because I am not performing (I'm in sales) and I'm really worried about it.

    Wow just even thinking that I *could* possibly feel good in the situation I'm currently in seems relieving. I actually *do* believe that it is possible that I could be sitting here on my couch, on a wednesday evening, eating tortilla chips and salsa, responding to a forum on my ipad, while achieving 72% of my quota (which sucks) and still feel good about myself as a person. Or, at least I could be feeling significantly less bad. I know this because there are other people that have bad months, or years, and they don't judge themselves harshly at all. So, it's technically possible. Just like there are other people out there that really don't care what other people think of them. It's possible! It's possible to feel good regardless of your conditions, I do believe that - I've seen other people do it! I've actually experienced it a few times myself.

    But back to the people pleasing for a moment, cause that temporarily relieved the work discomfort enough to move on.

    If I don't do x, y and z, everyone is going to leave me, that's the thought that needs to be soothed.

    Just gotta get on the wheel. I'm sitting somewhere around unworthiness.

    I'm jealous of people that seem to have everyone like them (jealousy), like people who have these seemingly happy idyllic lives
    Its' not fair that other people seem to naturally be liked by everyone, and I seem to have to really work at it. I hate looking at happy couples on facebook. (Jealousy, anger)
    It feels like so much work trying to have people like me, I can't just be myself, I'm always having to contort myself in some way (discouragement)
    I'm really angry at my mother for not accepting me as I was, if it weren't for her maybe I wouldn't have such an impossible to please external locus of control. (Blame)
    I'm really not sure if people would like me if I were totally myself (doubt)
    I don't even really know how to be totally myself anymore, without being a huge bitch (doubt)
    Would people maybe still like me if I were a huge bitch? (Hopeful)
    Maybe my natural state isn't being a huge bitch? (Hopeful)
    I wonder what would happen if I were more honest
    Would I end up quitting my job? (I think this is pretty off topic)
    Is it really maybe possible to seriously not give a hoot about what anybody thinks? (Hopeful curiosity)
    Maybe there is something wrong with me (way worse)
    Well, I've already talked myself into a definitely better feeling place right now (better)

    I want others' approval because I think I will feel better in the having of it

    Let's go back

    Maybe my natural state isn't being a huge bitch (hopeful)
    I know that it feels good to speak my actual mind (hopeful)
    I like how it feels to speak my actual mind and be accepted for it
    I like how it feels to have clarity
    I do think I always know what's best for me
    I do always know the right things to do for myself
    I am pretty in touch with my intuition, really
    I know I have a pretty strong guidance system, it yells pretty loud at me when I'm off the path
    All these thoughts feel true ^^ and good
    I don't have to have this all figured out right this red hot minute
    I like knowing that I have the ability to soothe my thoughts
    I'm definitely feeling better already
    It feels better to be off the topic of people liking me
    It's pretty nice to know that all I would have to do is listen to and follow my guidance system
    I have such a strong guidance system
    I feel so much better when I'm listening to my guidance system and being honest
    Things really do work out better when I act in alignment with my guidance
    I always know what's best for me
    I always know what's best for me
    I trust myself
    I always know what's best for me
    I trust myself

    What's best for me right now is to put the tortilla chips away
    And go have a shower
    And remember that I always know what's best for me
    And do a meditation
    and go to bed early

    I certainly feel better than when I began.

  7. #7
    And I just stumbled on an amazing-feeling thought: I *can* feel joy from where I am at right now. I know it is possible and it might look weird to people outside but I have the complete ability to feel joy right this instant, regardless of the fact that I am at 72% to quota. That is my decision! I get to decide to feel joy, itís my decision to care or not to care about what my boss, or our RM or our anyone at work thinks. I can feel joy anyway whether they think I suck or that Iím an idiot or whatever, regardless how much pressure is put on me. I can feel good *right now* by caring about how I feel more than how much I care about what others think about me. If how I feel is all I care about...I got this.



  8. #8
    Currently sitting at 'hopeful' and it's feeling pretty good! I'm glad I manifested it!

    I like seeing that I can feel good even if I'm at 72% to quota!
    I'm excited at the prospect of my future career as a therapist
    I see the path of how I can get there
    Maybe it won't be as scary as I think
    Maybe money would flow easier than I think
    Wouldn't it be nice if this transition was easy?
    Wouldn't it be nice if I had clarity around this transition?
    WOuldn't it be nice if it happened naturally, without drama?
    Wouldn't it be nice if it was a lot of fun?
    Wouldn't it be nice to feel like there was no real risk, that everything was truly ok? (Resistance)
    I want to separate this job transition from the boy I think I'm dating (resistance)

    Let's try to go more general...

    I feel really fat today (worse)
    I'm looking forward to a weekend off (better) but...I don't have to listen to the end of this sentence
    I'm feeling really fat today (worse)

    So this is really going in the wrong direction lol

    My guidance system is very strong (better)
    I know very strongly when my inner being agrees with my thought (better)
    My inner being does not like my thoughts of being fat (same)
    That means, in psychology, that thought is a 'deceptive message', or 'old tape'
    I can choose to outright ignore these thoughts
    Just let them pass on by, give them no attention, pay no mind
    Maybe they will persist for a while, just let them pass
    And focus on something really general
    Like the feeling of the air through my nostrils
    Or that my iPad has two little dots in the top left
    Or that my iPad battery is 44% full, isn't it interesting that there's a battery inside this thing, it must be so slim and small
    Remember the batteries that old school cameras required, they were so big and bulky!
    Remember in grade 1 when you were allowed to take apart old electronics with a screwdriver, and how cool it was to see the inside of a camera?
    Remember how there was a sale at the school and the first thing you bough was a camera for $5?
    Remember how grama's house smelled? And what the backyard looked like?
    I really miss her...ok this could trigger downward spiral

    Back up, general...

    The universe is so vast and the planets are so weird

    Well...I tried to get to a better feeling place and I'm not sure I really moved up the scale, but I eased some of the anxious excitement out of thinking about my new potential job.

    Gratitudes to close off the evening:

    Comfy bed, three nice pillows, my white noise machine, that my mom is alive, that I'm seriously not fat, that I have a boy who likes me who I admire, that I get to go to sleep now, that I have the entire weekend to myself!!!!!

  9. #9
    And I just remembered! Everything I want is downstream! I am going to find more ways to have more FUN!

    I love how after I post, I manifest emotions that bring additional goodfeeling thoughts to the surface, and I just have to come back and post them.

  10. #10
    Super Moderator WellBeing's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jakeysnakey View Post
    I love how after I post, I manifest emotions that bring additional goodfeeling thoughts to the surface....
    You mean, how after you've shifted your vibration, you have manifestations right after which reflect to you evidence of your shifted vibrations?

    So, what does that tell you? (You don't have to answer that here) Let me share with you what it tells me:

    1. YOU did that. You did.
    2. Do you see how you're getting better at doing that?
    3. This Abe business works, because that's exactly what they tell us happens.

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