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Thread: Practicing deliberately shifting to a better feeling place

  1. #11
    Yep! I love the thought that I'm getting better at it. Because I really do believe that I'm getting better at it. I love when I believe my thoughts! I love when my inner being agrees with what I'm thinking! That is what really feels good! That's when I have clarity!

    And that doesn't happen when I'm second guessing myself. It doesn't happen when I'm beating myself up, it doesn't happen when I'm trying to "fix" myself, or researching what might be wrong with me. It doesn't happen when I over commit, it doesn't happen when I am procrastinating, it doesn't happen when I'm not doing the things I think are good for me! Now, that's a pretty good and darn strong indicator I have. How easy, to be able to just listen to the thoughts that feel good and ignore or soothe the things that feel bad. It's not like I'm unsure of my guidance system. I'm super duper sure usually what my guidance system is telling me. High joyful highs and low depressed anxious lows.

    I believe that I have a guidance system that tells me if I'm in alignment
    I believe that I can hear my guidance system very clearly, and when IB doesn't agree I feel bad and when IB agrees I feel good
    I believe that when I'm questioning LOA, I'm feeling bad
    I believe I'm getting better and better at listening to, and acting on, my guidance system
    I believe that I feel best when I believe my thoughts, when I'm in alignment
    I love knowing that the power to feel good any time is within me, that is an amazing feeling. I love knowing that I can make my own choices, and do as I please, and always feel good. I know that I feel bad when I over commit, so from now on I can say no. If that person doesn't like it, I can soothe my way out my negative feeling. I know that is an option. I know that I should set the expectation that I am not available, and if people don't call me to hangout anymore, I can soothe myself out of that negative feeling. I can speak my mind, and if people react negatively I can soothe my way out of that negative feeling. I can do what I please, what feels right and considerate, and if other people react negatively, I can still feel good. Actually, I bet people would like me even more if I spoke my mind and stood up for myself. But that doesn't even actually matter if I can make myself feel better than these people can, anyway. People are fickle. My IB is not.

    As a further note to myself, I am able to get out of a slump by talking about how I am getting better at following my guidance system and that I know I'm a deliberate creator. I have very little resistance around that, and I think I can always utilize it to dig myself out if I've fallen.

    I'm sure I'll have more realizations, be back later.

  2. #12
    Note to self, that starting tasks slowly and methodically is better, and more enjoyable, than not starting them at all. A big part of my procrastinating is the effort to get started. So with everything, don't feel bad to start slow. Paperwork, healthy eating, and going to the gym are the same as cleaning up. Just get comfortable and start slow. None of this has to be done fast.

    Not Abe-sh I don't think, but I want to remember. It's a thought that's coming from the vortex.

  3. #13
    Sunday night, I wanted to explore what's going on in my mind, as I have some anxiety stirring around. Earlier today I had the insight that any time I am putting conditions on my happiness, present or future, on some other person, I will have anxiety. I still believe that to be true.

    I feel a little bit distant from Jack
    I think I would be happier if I knew for sure that Jack wanted to be with me
    I don't even really know how much I really connect with Jack
    I definitely know I feel more secure and grounded when I'm around him
    I know I like to feel secure and grounded
    I know that I like to feel connected to other people
    I know I like to look deeply into another person's eyes
    I know I liked to look deeply into John's (ex bf) eyes, it felt so good to be so connected
    Looking into John's eyes felt deep, connected, real, alive, like time stopped, it felt full and timeless and complete and like a relief of the weight of the world and like nothing else mattered
    I don't have that kind of a connection with Jack
    I think that I'm going down an analysis rabbit hole right now and that feels upstream

    Let's try to find some downstream thoughts about I guess whatever topic.

    My guidance system is certainly strong
    I know clearly when my thoughts aren't serving me
    I know that pining over Jack isn't serving me
    The thought that I would be happier if Jack would just do what I want isn't aligned with my inner being**
    Oh that is good to know!
    My IB doesn't think I need Jack to make me feel happy, that provides some relief

    Hmm where do I go from here to feel better...I only have a small amount of relief

    I know I want to feel secure in a relationship, I don't want to wonder where it's going
    I know I want to feel wanted in a relationship, I don't want to second guess that ever

    I do believe that somebody is out there for me, but maybe it's not Jack?

    If Jack would only behave differently...
    Does this mean that this isn't right for me?
    In this moment it doesn't feel good
    Maybe it's not right for me right now
    I don't have to figure this out right this red hot second
    I can know that this doesn't feel good right now but I'm not totally sure where it's going and I can't change Jack's behavior, and I believe that when I know it's not going to work out, I'll know for sure. Right now I'm not totally sure so I can focus on doing what's best for me and seeing how he fits in. When it's time for me to move on, I will know.

    I always know what's best for me, I trust myself.

  4. #14
    Lo and behold, apparently I have feelings of overwhelment on Sundays...here we are again.

    I feel like my mind cannot even focus on a single thought, it just keeps bouncing around from one thing to another, one thing to another, like a kid on monkey bars (I guess that's monkey brain!)

    How am I supposed to: Keep the house clean, get all the laundry put away, balance my budget, work my current demanding job, start up my own business, lose 10 pounds, grocery shop, meal prep, clean up all the cat hair, exercise, maintain relationships with my friends and family, plan a vacation, and find a husband at the same time?

    I know all of this is out of the vortex stuff. I know that it's all upstream, and that everything I want is downstream. I know that in order for me to really do the vibrational work, I need to be convinced, sure of, the fact that I just want to FEEL better. I don't need the conditions I'm obsessing about to change, I don't need fewer tasks or more time, I just need to want to FEEL better, more than anything else. I know I have the ability to FEEL better right now, no matter the circumstances, because I have done it before.

    Let's explore the mind and just search for some better feeling thoughts. I think I'm more sitting around discouragement than necessarily overwhelment:

    There isn't enough time (discouragement)
    I don't even like most of my stupid tasks (irritation)
    What a waste of life (pessimism)
    It's literally not even possible to do all this crap (feels better, makes it less about a personal failure)
    Maybe the universe will take care of some of it (wayyy off in the bushes)
    Maybe some things aren't as important as I'm making them out to be (a little bit off in the bushes)
    Maybe I don't have to try quite as hard to make everything work (a little bit off in the bushes...I mean, I just texted a friend to get some adderall because *that* would make me able to be more productive soooo I can't say I absolutely don't think this is a solution)
    Wouldn't it be nice if things felt a little bit easier (yes this feels better)
    Wouldn't it be nice if some things just took care of themselves (yes this feels better)
    I hate this (worse)
    I'm getting older (worse)
    I feel like I'm wasting my life (worse)

    I'm not really all that sure where to go from here. I'm stuck in this loop of I hate all these tasks, I have no motivation to leave the house to do anything, I just want to sleep but I have so much stuff to do, I hate how my life feels full of anxiety, I can't seem to even get started on a single task...I don't want my life to be full of shitty stupid tasks that I don't care about, and time is passing by, my fertile years are going to be gone before I know it, and I've spent all my time at a job I hate with people I don't like, getting fat, while my parents are getting older in another country and I'm not making new meaningful friendships and I just hate existing like this. I know I need to quit my job but I'm so afraid about money. I'm not stuck and I will quit but in the meantime I'm just afraid.

    I feel better when I think about applying for some part time jobs. I also feel like I should probably quit *next* January so I can start school the following September, and that will give me 9 months off.

    I'm not sure what to do with this. I feel like I'm anxious about pretty much every aspect of my life.

    I can't seem to manage my time. I can't seem to prioritize. I know that what's most important to me right now is a) getting in shape and healthy cause I feel so bad about myself and b) starting my own business cause I just need out of my current situation so bad. Yet I don't seem to prioritize those things. I'm on Instagram, I'm worrying, I'm doing my current job, I'm eating out, I'm honestly not enjoying any of those things.

    Yet i don't do the things that would take me on the right path. I do a *little* bit, but it's so hard to switch gears all the time. I can't figure out how to do all of these things.

    Maybe I will just apply for some jobs. But how am I supposed to meal prep? I guess I can say I will spend the next hour updating my resume and applying for some part time jobs. That makes me feel better.

    I know I'm really in a negative loop here. Any advice on processes, I promise I will take it.

    Thanks all -
    JS

  5. #15
    Super Moderator WellBeing's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jakeysnakey View Post
    Any advice on processes….

    Since you asked….

    Quote Originally Posted by jakeysnakey View Post
    I know I'm really in a negative loop here.

    Then take a nap or meditate. Srsly.

    Anything else is likely to perpetuate your loop. Isn’t that part of what your post is showing you here?

    “Oh, no! I can’t, WB! Didn’t you read my post? I have sooooo much that I.MUST do,” I hear you say.

    “Yeah? How’s that working out for you?” I reply.

    Then Abraham chime in, “Today--no matter where I go, no matter what I do, no matter who I do it with--nothing is more important than that I feel good.” What do you think about that?

    Quote Originally Posted by jakeysnakey View Post
    Lo and behold, apparently I have feelings of overwhelment on Sundays...here we are again.

    How does this story--brief as it is--feel? Is your emotional guidance telling you that this is something that you want? Or something that you don’t want?

    Once you’ve determined that, you can then make some decisions about whether you want to continue that story. Because your thoughts matter, a lot. Even that one. That’s a thought that is creating your reality.

    Quote Originally Posted by jakeysnakey View Post
    I feel like my mind cannot even focus on a single thought, it just keeps bouncing around from one thing to another, one thing to another, like a kid on monkey bars (I guess that's monkey brain!)

    Remember how we talked about verbal cues that some of us have? In my case, one of my verbal cues was “should” and, in your case, one of your verbal cues is “BUT.” You got that idea, didn’t you?

    Now, you’ve stumbled upon another verbal cue that you can use: “I feel…” Think about what that phrase means, particularly as you used it just there. It has nothing to do with feeling or sensation. When we talk about “better-feeling” (as we do here) we mean “better-feeling” in terms of emotion. That’s something that’s really helpful for us to be aware of. But here, in your statement above, that’s not how you’re using it, is it? Above, you’re meaning “I’m thinking that…”

    So, from now on, you might want to get into the habit (because it’s easier to replace an unwanted habit with a wanted habit than to eliminate an unwanted habit in this attraction-based universe) of checking in with yourself whenever you notice you’re using the phrase, “I feel…” Do you mean “I feel emotionally,” which is helpful vibrational for your “work”? Or do you mean “I’m thinking that…”? And this will be easier than with “BUT” because you have a helper word to help you out. Unless you’re from the Valley in Southern California, we almost never say “I feel like...Hating this messy house” or “I feel like Discouraged.” So, at first, if you’re not sure, you can use your friend “like” to be an (initial) tie-breaker for you. But don’t rely on your friend “like.” He’s a little guy with only a few letters. You don’t want to break his back. You can do that for yourself.

    This was a long-winded way of saying the three-or-so lines that I’d just quoted above is simply a story that you’re telling. So, here’s another opportunity for you to check in--like we did with your Sundays story--with your emotional guidance system

    Quote Originally Posted by jakeysnakey View Post
    How am I supposed to: Keep the house clean, get all the laundry put away, balance my budget, work my current demanding job, start up my own business, lose 10 pounds, grocery shop, meal prep, clean up all the cat hair, exercise, maintain relationships with my friends and family, plan a vacation, and find a husband at the same time?

    You can’t. Not by yourself.

    Now, if you are willing to allow the faeries of the universe and the LoA to help you out with some of that, you might surprise yourself.

    Check out The Placemat Process in AAIIG. (And whilst you’re digging out your book, ask yourself, “Do you really want to lose 10 pounds today?” Because that could be really painful or unhealthy. Or you could soothe your thoughts/story about lack-of-husband to take some of the pressure (that you yourself are heaping upon yourself) off of your Sunday.)

    Quote Originally Posted by jakeysnakey View Post
    I know all of this is out of the vortex stuff. I know that it's all upstream, and that everything I want is downstream. I know that in order for me to really do the vibrational work, I need to be convinced, sure of, the fact that I just want to FEEL better.

    But isn’t that what you’re complaining to us about right now? That you don’t FEEL good. That you FEEL crappy, overwhelmed--Hey! Haul out your copy of AAIIG! Isn’t Overwhelment in there somewhere? Like on a chart or something? Like on the Scale? Check that out and see.

    You’re talking as if it’s your list of Things To Do which is making you feel Overwhelmed, but that’s not the case. Did you have a husband yesterday when you weren’t having your Sunday Overwhelment? No, you were probably feeling a different emotion about that topic then.

    Your Overwhelment is not caused by the items on your list of Things To Do. Your Overwhelment is caused by your misalignment--by your thoughts about your list of Things To Do and the items on your list, which are different from the

    Quote Originally Posted by jakeysnakey View Post
    I don't need the conditions I'm obsessing about to change, I don't need fewer tasks or more time,...

    I can’t tell you what you are or aren’t needing but it sure sounds like you’re needing your tasks to be done and your list to be shorter. And that’s sort of the “work” that you go on to do, isn’t it?

    So, what’s your truth here? You can’t joyously get from Phoenix to San Diego, if you’re pretending you’re starting in San Francisco and using directions from San Franicisco.

    Quote Originally Posted by jakeysnakey View Post
    ...I just need to want to FEEL better, more than anything else. I know I have the ability to FEEL better right now, no matter the circumstances, because I have done it before.

    Great!

    So, start in a different place. (Because, in your “work” that you posted, you turned your Overwhelment into an item on your list to deal with, like the cat hair, didn’t you?)

    [Deep breath]...OK, I know that I look at my list and I feel Overwhelment. And WB says that it’s not my list or its length which “makes me feel” Discouragement or Joy or Overwhelment or Purple. It’s my thoughts. So I want to Abe my list down to size.

    Let me look at my list:

    1. Keep the house clean


    1. Get all the laundry put away
    2. Balance my budget
    3. Work my current demanding job
    4. Start up my own business
    5. Lose 10 pounds
    6. Grocery shop
    7. Meal prep
    8. Clean up all the cat hair
    9. Exercise
    10. Maintain relationships with my friends and family
    11. Plan a vacation
    12. Find a husband


    I don’t care what WB says. That’s a big-ass list. But he’s telling me that I’m heaping pressure upon myself. What’s he seeing that I’m not seeing?

    Oh, yeah? That “10 pounds” thing, he mentioned that. But I really, really want to lose 10 pounds, WB, and I’ve wanted it for a really long time. But I sort of understand him when he asks me if I truly want to lose that 10 pounds today. I probably don’t. So, that’s probably something that doesn’t need to be on my list for today and I might find a little relief in changing that item.

    But isn’t that action work, if I change the item?

    [WB: Probably, but haven’t you shifted your attitude a little bit about insisting that you lose 10 pounds today? And isn’t that item already on your list? So, changing your item isn’t so much an action as it is correcting a duplication that you did out of your heaping pressure upon yourself due to your dissatisfaction with your weight. THAT’s the action journey. You could “work” on your story about your body and your weight. Probably not today, but you could.]

    I dunno, but I’ll (grudgingly) cross that off my list, because if it’s not on my list than I’ll never lose that weight.

    [WB: It’s been on your list for a while. How’s that been working out for you?]

    Whatever, WB. It’s off the list. What else…? Hmmm, I really, really, really want to find a husband, but let’s face it: I’m not yet “ready to be ready,” at least in my own mind. When I lose my 10 pounds, then I’ll be ready. So, I guess, that’s sort of a duplicate, too.

    [WB: True. And like your “10 pounds,” your lack-of-husband is something that you could do some “work” on. Probably not today, but you could.]

    But I want to go out!!!

    [WB: Why?]

    Because it’s fun. I get to laugh, be with others--

    [WB: So, you would be maintaining healthy relationships with others, then? So, that’s a sort of duplicate, too, huh?

    So, if we’ve consolidated those 3 items alone, we’ve reduced your original list by almost 25%. And you didn’t have to do a thing. {And you probably could have done that in less time than it took me to type this.}]

    So, in our playful conversation, I mentioned to you about doing the “work” on certain topics. As you already know, doing the “work” means looking at your resistant thoughts--the thoughts that you are currently thinking--about your various topics and then soothing and shifting those. So, in the case of “husband,” you have a whole variety of thoughts about your desirability, about what happens in relationships, what relationships mean to you, what lack of relationships mean to you, etc. that can all be shifted. But that might be too much for an already-Overwhelmed Sunday. {But I want to just insert here that, in the “work” that you have been posting, you don’t really seem to be starting from your current thoughts. You sort of jump in from where you’re not really, so it’s hard going for you. It’s much easier when you start from where you are.}

    So, what about the cat hair? What thoughts are you thinking about the cat hair? What makes the cat hair so “bad” for you? What makes it so “bad” for you if the cat hair doesn’t get cleaned up today! but tomorrow? What happens if you don't clean up the cat hair? {I'm going to play with you some now.} Does the world stop spinning on its axis? Does your heart stop beating? Does gravity stop working? Do they put a HUGE sign on your home, saying "27 Days since the Cat Hair Hasn't Been Cleaned UP"? How long does it take for you to clean up the cat hair? How big of a cat is it, anyway? Are you wading through mountains of cat hair? If you are, does it have to be done all at once? After all, you sort of let it accumulate into “mountains” so maybe you’re OK with that in some ways?

    You see, there’s a difference between cleaning up your cat hair in the face of your resistance or cleaning up your cat hair with no resistance and that’s going to be the difference between a task and Overwhelment. Mary Poppins sort of had the right idea but rather than showering the chore in unwanted sugar, we can simply remove the bitterness from the chore.]


    As for the rest of your post, can you see how you just added a tons more of items to your list of Things To Do this Sunday? Now, that's understandable because you have all these things on a sort of permanent on-going To Do list in your head. All these things are all born out of the bogus idea that "when I get X, then I'll be happy." Since you're unhappy (and it really is all right that you are) you want to get X, Y, Z, all the other letters, numbers and characters to fix your unhappiness. But your unhappiness is never about the X, Y, Z, etc. It's always about your alignment. And you don't have to take my word for it. You've shown that to yourself.

  6. #16
    Quote Originally Posted by WellBeing View Post
    How does this story--brief as it is--feel? Is your emotional guidance telling you that this is something that you want? Or something that you don’t want?

    Once you’ve determined that, you can then make some decisions about whether you want to continue that story. Because your thoughts matter, a lot. Even that one. That’s a thought that is creating your reality.
    okay yes that thought feels crappy. a lot of my thoughts feel crappy (even this one)

    Quote Originally Posted by WellBeing View Post
    Remember how we talked about verbal cues that some of us have? In my case, one of my verbal cues was “should” and, in your case, one of your verbal cues is “BUT.” You got that idea, didn’t you?

    Now, you’ve stumbled upon another verbal cue that you can use: “I feel…” Think about what that phrase means, particularly as you used it just there. It has nothing to do with feeling or sensation. When we talk about “better-feeling” (as we do here) we mean “better-feeling” in terms of emotion. That’s something that’s really helpful for us to be aware of. But here, in your statement above, that’s not how you’re using it, is it? Above, you’re meaning “I’m thinking that…”

    So, from now on, you might want to get into the habit (because it’s easier to replace an unwanted habit with a wanted habit than to eliminate an unwanted habit in this attraction-based universe) of checking in with yourself whenever you notice you’re using the phrase, “I feel…” Do you mean “I feel emotionally,” which is helpful vibrational for your “work”? Or do you mean “I’m thinking that…”? And this will be easier than with “BUT” because you have a helper word to help you out. Unless you’re from the Valley in Southern California, we almost never say “I feel like...Hating this messy house” or “I feel like Discouraged.” So, at first, if you’re not sure, you can use your friend “like” to be an (initial) tie-breaker for you. But don’t rely on your friend “like.” He’s a little guy with only a few letters. You don’t want to break his back. You can do that for yourself.
    Yes, this makes sense, and I can do this. I can already see that taking the emotion out of "feel like" and replacing it with "I think" takes some of the power out of what I'm saying. It could make it easier to soothe the 'thoughts' than the misplaced 'feelings'

    Quote Originally Posted by WellBeing View Post
    But isn’t that what you’re complaining to us about right now? That you don’t FEEL good. That you FEEL crappy, overwhelmed--Hey! Haul out your copy of AAIIG! Isn’t Overwhelment in there somewhere? Like on a chart or something? Like on the Scale? Check that out and see.
    Yes, it is on the scale, and I was trying to work up the scale with this exercise (which didn't work all that well).

    Quote Originally Posted by WellBeing View Post
    Your Overwhelment is not caused by the items on your list of Things To Do. Your Overwhelment is caused by your misalignment--by your thoughts about your list of Things To Do and the items on your list, which are different from the
    This is true. I think that once I accomplish the things on the list, I will feel better. It's a condition, I get that. I get all wrapped up in the condition...I need to lose 10 pounds to get the husband, but maybe if I just quit my job it would be easier for me to lose 10 pounds, but I can't focus until the house is clean...round and round we go [/QUOTE]

    Quote Originally Posted by WellBeing View Post
    So, what’s your truth here? You can’t joyously get from Phoenix to San Diego, if you’re pretending you’re starting in San Francisco and using directions from San Franicisco.
    That's true...the truth is that I hate most things in my life right now and I'm spinning around in my head and I don't know how to get out. It overwhelms me and I want to stay in bed all day, and then I get depressed and I haven't found a great way to deal with that, yet.

    Quote Originally Posted by WellBeing View Post


    [Deep breath]...OK, I know that I look at my list and I feel Overwhelment. And WB says that it’s not my list or its length which “makes me feel” Discouragement or Joy or Overwhelment or Purple. It’s my thoughts. So I want to Abe my list down to size.

    Let me look at my list:

    1. Keep the house clean


    1. Get all the laundry put away
    2. Balance my budget
    3. Work my current demanding job
    4. Start up my own business
    5. Lose 10 pounds
    6. Grocery shop
    7. Meal prep
    8. Clean up all the cat hair
    9. Exercise
    10. Maintain relationships with my friends and family
    11. Plan a vacation
    12. Find a husband


    I don’t care what WB says. That’s a big-ass list. But he’s telling me that I’m heaping pressure upon myself. What’s he seeing that I’m not seeing?

    Oh, yeah? That “10 pounds” thing, he mentioned that. But I really, really want to lose 10 pounds, WB, and I’ve wanted it for a really long time. But I sort of understand him when he asks me if I truly want to lose that 10 pounds today. I probably don’t. So, that’s probably something that doesn’t need to be on my list for today and I might find a little relief in changing that item.
    Well hmm...shouldn't I be taking "some" action toward my goal? I might not want to lose 10 pounds today, but if I go grocery shopping and meal prep, that should help me get closer to that goal, right?

    Quote Originally Posted by WellBeing View Post
    So, in our playful conversation, I mentioned to you about doing the “work” on certain topics. As you already know, doing the “work” means looking at your resistant thoughts--the thoughts that you are currently thinking--about your various topics and then soothing and shifting those. So, in the case of “husband,” you have a whole variety of thoughts about your desirability, about what happens in relationships, what relationships mean to you, what lack of relationships mean to you, etc. that can all be shifted. But that might be too much for an already-Overwhelmed Sunday. {But I want to just insert here that, in the “work” that you have been posting, you don’t really seem to be starting from your current thoughts. You sort of jump in from where you’re not really, so it’s hard going for you. It’s much easier when you start from where you are.}
    That's true, that sometimes I don't start from where I am. I reach. But if I start from where I am, I think that I will spiral around and around, like I have here.

    Quote Originally Posted by WellBeing View Post
    So, what about the cat hair? What thoughts are you thinking about the cat hair? What makes the cat hair so “bad” for you? What makes it so “bad” for you if the cat hair doesn’t get cleaned up today! but tomorrow? What happens if you don't clean up the cat hair? {I'm going to play with you some now.} Does the world stop spinning on its axis? Does your heart stop beating? Does gravity stop working? Do they put a HUGE sign on your home, saying "27 Days since the Cat Hair Hasn't Been Cleaned UP"? How long does it take for you to clean up the cat hair? How big of a cat is it, anyway? Are you wading through mountains of cat hair? If you are, does it have to be done all at once? After all, you sort of let it accumulate into “mountains” so maybe you’re OK with that in some ways?
    I guess it's just one more thing. The guy I like commented on the cat hair, so now I think I should do a better job of cleaning it up. Which I really don't want to do.
    Quote Originally Posted by WellBeing View Post
    As for the rest of your post, can you see how you just added a tons more of items to your list of Things To Do this Sunday? Now, that's understandable because you have all these things on a sort of permanent on-going To Do list in your head. All these things are all born out of the bogus idea that "when I get X, then I'll be happy." Since you're unhappy (and it really is all right that you are) you want to get X, Y, Z, all the other letters, numbers and characters to fix your unhappiness. But your unhappiness is never about the X, Y, Z, etc. It's always about your alignment. And you don't have to take my word for it. You've shown that to yourself.
    This last paragraph says it all, and it is the story of my life. I falsely believe that if I get x, y and z that I will be happy, and that never works. I just don't know what my alternative is. Once upon a time I felt better by changing my thoughts about a situation. ONE situation, at a time. But I think I'm just sitting here wasting my life doing nothing. I don't know how to dig myself out, and all I want to do is sleep for a week. I already slept all weekend. Meanwhile my life is passing me by. I know this is a story I tell myself. But what do I do? Take another nap? I hate my entire life sometimes, and that sucks.

  7. #17
    So I took a little break. I cried, had a little hissy fit, then I went to the grocery store. I needed to eat.

    That little distraction, plus a cocktail and a half, has got me feeling much better.

    It just makes me feel so crazy that one minute I can feel so upset, overwhelmed, and the next minute I can be optimistic. I'm all over the map. I am pretty sure I'm not bipolar or anything, but this feels like a bit much. Maybe it's just the PMS...and I'm two days late...

    I just need to CHILL TF out. I do myself NO favors by obsessing. I never have.

    WB, thank you a million times over for the incredible advice you give.

    I'm also noticing how much I think that everything has to be so damn hard. What if it wasn't actually that hard? I'm creating my own struggle. What if losing 10 pounds didn't have to be monumentally difficult? Other people do it all the time. But for me, ohhh, it's gotta be this big friggen thing. What if starting my own business, with my pretty great experience and credentials isn't absolutely impossible? I'm literally dating someone who did it, and so did my best friend. But nooo for me, for some reason it has to be hard?

    For now, I'm going to just chill. And if that means I need an occasional Sunday night cocktail, I'm going for it, as long as I know I'm moving in the right direction.

    You're right WB, I have "work" --vibrational work -- to do around money and around my weight and around relationships. But, I don't have to do it *right now*. Today, I'll just do what's in front of me.

    Cheers.

  8. #18
    Klassik's Avatar
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    I like that thread, and the advices, too. It's interesting to see how you are going to proceed and to see your emotional progress you will make and are making!

  9. #19
    Super Moderator WellBeing's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jakeysnakey View Post
    It just makes me feel so crazy that one minute I can feel so upset, overwhelmed,...
    That's why Abraham describe momentum in terms of "falling out of an airplane without a parachute."

    Now, it's all right that you do that; we all do, from time to time. But as you've just learned for yourself, those times are hard on us (plus you wind up taking action which runs counter to some of your desires on your list, giving yourself another reason to beat up on yourself). So, Abraham teach us to learn from those times, so that we can create different, wanted momentum for ourselves in the future. That's what my stopping you in your post, asking you, "How does this feel?" was all about--to highlight the many points where you can catch yourself to start to generate a momentum that you want, rather than suffer a habit of unwanted momentum. Do you see?

    Quote Originally Posted by jakeysnakey View Post
    ...and the next minute I can be optimistic.
    Well, that might have been the booze. But an important question to ask yourself might be "Were you truly 'optimistic' about the topics that you were posting about?" I'm going to guess "Not really," but only you can know that for yourself.

    Quote Originally Posted by jakeysnakey View Post
    I'm all over the map.
    Similarly, I doubt that you're really "all over the map." I think what might be more likely is that you released your strangle-hold (and that's a deliberately chosen phrase) on your habits of resistance. When you release your hold on your habits of resistance, your cork naturally rises. That's why Abraham tell us to "simply stop doing that thing you do" which holds your cork under the water. In your previous posts, you were arguing for your reasons for heaping the pressure that you were heaping upon yourself, so that was the opposite of letting go of your cork. It was more like you were tightening your grip and pulling it down further. And you felt the discomfort of that, which is good to know.

    Quote Originally Posted by jakeysnakey View Post
    I just need to CHILL TF out. I do myself NO favors by obsessing. I never have.
    Then--and this is an honest question--why do you do it? And I'm not asking for any analysis here, just a little simple honesty.

    Because you gotta believe that, even though your experience has shown you that you're doing yourself NO favors by obsessing, there's some benefit, some pay-off for you, down the road. And it's a pretty strong belief (I might even capitalize "Belief") because you hold onto it even though you're saying here that you've seen NO benefits from it in the past.

    You see, if you didn't have that Belief, then you could simply say "I never have seen any benefits by my obsessing. And it doesn't feel good. And Abraham have given me permission not to do it. So, I think I'm just going to stop doing that for today." But we both know that's not the conversation that you have with yourself.

    So, that conversation that you have with yourself about obsessing and buckling down and "gotta do it" is all material for this thread of yours.

    Quote Originally Posted by jakeysnakey View Post
    I'm also noticing how much I think that everything has to be so damn hard. What if it wasn't actually that hard?
    WAIT! Answer your own very good question.

    Quote Originally Posted by jakeysnakey View Post
    I'm creating my own struggle. What if losing 10 pounds didn't have to be monumentally difficult? Other people do it all the time. But for me, ohhh, it's gotta be this big friggen thing.
    Why does it have to be that big thing for you? That's more material for this thread.

    Quote Originally Posted by jakeysnakey View Post
    And if that means I need an occasional Sunday night cocktail, I'm going for it,...
    I'm all in favor of a well-made cocktail but is your cocktail going to become like your cookie, something that you'll later club yourself over the head with? Because that clubbing yourself will just send you running for another cocktail or cookie or bag of chips....

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