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Thread: We're asking the Universe for a remission for my husband's cancer

  1. #1

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    We're asking the Universe for a remission for my husband's cancer

    I’m looking for help so I can feel better. My husband has stage 4 terminal cancer.

    We’ve done all of the treatments from the hospital, but they didn’t work so they’ve sent him home to die. We’re doing all of the treatments from the Naturopath. But nothing is working there as well. Yes, these are all actions. But Abraham has said to do anything and everything for cancer that makes you feel better.

    We’ve also been doing the work it takes to align with our inner beings. My husband has tried cleaning up deep rooted resistance but couldn’t find any, he’s tried ignoring the cancer and focusing on something more pleasing, he’s tried finding better thoughts about the cancer, he’s tried accepting where he is, and meditation, etc. There isn’t anything, vibrationally speaking, that he hasn’t tried. This has been going on for almost two years.

    My husband is doing all of these processes, so he can feel better, and of course for a remission from his cancer. And I’m doing these same processes, so I can feel better. But nothing is working. We feel that the Universe/God has turned his back on us. We’ll never give up hoping for a remission from his cancer, but the stress and the grief is taking a huge toll on us. As his caregiver, I can barely, physically and mentally, make it through each day.

    I don’t understand why, when someone wants to live so badly, and has such a strong desire to live, that they are denied life. The only thing I can think of is that my husband had set some kind of intention/agreement before he was born to die from cancer. I believe in the law of attraction and I DON’T KNOW WHAT WE’RE DOING WRONG.

    This would almost be comical, if I wasn’t crying so much, that absolutely nothing is working. You’d think one of the many treatments would at least bring some little bit of improvement in his body. And with all of the law of attraction work we’ve been doing, you’d think there’d be some little sign that we’re on the right path.

    We’ve tried all of the so-called “magic bullet” treatments out there that have worked for other people, so I don’t need any more suggestions with that, but thank you.

    However, I desperately need advice on how to open the gates to what we strongly desire. Which is for my husband to live. So we can be happy. Ok, I hear what you’re thinking. Be happy first, and THEN he will go into remission and live. It’s impossible to be happy considering what we’re going through with the doctors right in our face telling us that my husband doesn’t have much time left on this Earth. So, we go general and don’t reach for thoughts that would be too much of a reach. We have so much hope. No matter what the doctors are saying. Anyway, my husband wants to live, and he and I don’t know what he’s doing wrong vibrationally.

  2. #2
    Super Moderator WellBeing's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by WriteNow View Post
    We’ve also been doing the work it takes to align with our inner beings.
    Talk to us more about what you are doing on that topic, because you're the one we're talking to hear and you can only speak to what you're doing.

    One thing I hear from you in your post is the wrong-ness of what's going on. And, of course, almost every one of us can understand why you would think/say that. However, your IB KNOWS that where you are (and, also, where your husband is) vibrationally is all right. And, I get it, if you'd want to shout at me, "WB! How can this be all right?!" I really would understand you, if you did that. However, this is all right, from the broader perspective of your IB. You see, your IB (and his) doesn't see anything "WRONG" with dying. In fact, from your IB's perspective (and his), there is no such thing as "death." There's only life and more life, just in a different form. (That's why Abraham are deliberately disrespectful of our human idea of "death," trying to lightly coax us away from this inaccurate human idea.)

    So, you might see that there might be a very large vibrational gap between your IB and you. Now, I want to be clear: I'm NOT saying that your husband can't create a cure for himself. He absolutely CAN. However, as long as you have this vibrational gap going on within you, you have more vibrational "work" for you to do. And if you have more vibrational "work" to do on this point, then there might be more vibrational "work" for you to do on some other points on this very large, important topic. Which is why I asked I started my reply to you where I did.

    Quote Originally Posted by WriteNow View Post
    My husband is doing all of these processes, so he can feel better, and of course for a remission from his cancer. And I’m doing these same processes, so I can feel better.
    You've been with us for a while, so you can probably remember when the idea that I'm about to remind you of was talked about much more then than it is now. Are you doing your Processes so that you can feel better without needing your conditions to change first? (And you've given us the answer when you said that your desire is for him to live, so that we can be happy.) It is so understandable that we, knowing this wonderful information that we know, would want to use this information to "Abe up" a cure so that we can observe our loved ones' healing and then feel better in our observation of that healing. I can't think of a person who wouldn't want to, at first, take that approach.

    However, that's backwards from the way that the LoA operates. In fact, when we take that approach ("Abraham, give me the money that I need and then I'll feel better") we're keeping the "problem" active in our vibration, so we're getting in our own way. And this is such a hard point to hear when the existence of a loved one seems to be at stake. Those are really, really big stakes; I get it.

    As you know, another name for the vibrational "work" is "the vibrational journey." You'll recall that the beginning step of every vibrational journey is "making peace with where you are." Now, again, I want to be clear: I am NOT making any negative prognoses about his condition. That's not what I'm saying at all. Your IB's view of this is "You are where you are and where you are is all right." That's the view of each of our IB's (including his) about whatever we've been creating and manifesting for ourselves. So, a good first step for you towards making your peace with where you are might be to find thoughts, which seem true to you, which make all of this a little less "wrong" for you. And that might seem like I'm asking a lot of you, but if you're willing to take baby steps--lean in that direction--you CAN do that.

  3. #3
    Super Kitty Marc's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by WriteNow View Post
    I’m looking for help so I can feel better. My husband has stage 4 terminal cancer.
    Especially when you're in a place where there's a lot of negative momentum, sometimes the only thing you can do to feel better is get off the subject and meditate. It's completely understandable that when that negative momentum is going strong that you're not going to be able to stay on that subject feel better. That's when you've got to quiet your mind and let that momentum subside and allow your vibration to raise. Here's the thing though -- I'm not suggesting that for your husband, I'm suggesting that for YOU. Right now the best you can do is to give yourself a break from the discord you're feeling.

    Quote Originally Posted by WriteNow View Post
    We’ve also been doing the work it takes to align with our inner beings. My husband has tried cleaning up deep rooted resistance but couldn’t find any, he’s tried ignoring the cancer and focusing on something more pleasing, he’s tried finding better thoughts about the cancer, he’s tried accepting where he is, and meditation, etc. There isn’t anything, vibrationally speaking, that he hasn’t tried. This has been going on for almost two years.
    Let me point out the contradiction in what you've just written. I'm going to use the pronouns "you" and "I" rather than "he" because it's a little more clear and it's really just as applicable to you too. Compare and contrast what you're saying about making peace with where you are and the frantic "there isn't anything, vibrationally speaking, that I haven't tried." Can you see where that's the polar OPPOSITE of making peace with where you are? That's why there hasn't been any vibrational movement -- you're focusing on trying to get the conditions to change rather than feeling better, which doesn't work.
    Quote Originally Posted by WriteNow View Post
    My husband is doing all of these processes, so he can feel better, and of course for a remission from his cancer. And I’m doing these same processes, so I can feel better. But nothing is working. We feel that the Universe/God has turned his back on us. We’ll never give up hoping for a remission from his cancer, but the stress and the grief is taking a huge toll on us. As his caregiver, I can barely, physically and mentally, make it through each day.
    Of course, you're doing the best you can and I'm sure it would be difficult for anyone in a similar situation. In fact, Esther and Abraham have shared some of her experience around Jerry's transition and that she struggled with things too. So in that sense, be easy on yourself because it's completely understandable. All of that said, trying to reach for "hope" for remission is too big of a jump for you and it sure sounds like a big chunk of this is about you trying to avoid your resistance around the death/croaking/transition experience is.
    Quote Originally Posted by WriteNow View Post
    I don’t understand why, when someone wants to live so badly, and has such a strong desire to live, that they are denied life.
    That's a big piece of the puzzle you're missing and really fits in with what I just wrote -- he's not being denied life because the croaking experience isn't the absence of life. It's just MORE life. Everyone croaks.
    Quote Originally Posted by WriteNow View Post
    The only thing I can think of is that my husband had set some kind of intention/agreement before he was born to die from cancer.
    None of us intended to live forever in these physical bodies. We all intended to go back into the non-physical at some point. So it's certainly the case that both of you knew and agreed/intended to re-emerge back into non-physical. Is it necessarily the case that the intention had something to do with cancer or that it was some sort of formal "agreement" in the sense you're talking about? I couldn't possibly say. In the bigger picture, how it happens really doesn't matter. It's an inevitable, completely natural and normal part of this physical experience. Because it's so natural and normal,
    Quote Originally Posted by WriteNow View Post
    I believe in the law of attraction and I DON’T KNOW WHAT WE’RE DOING WRONG.

    This would almost be comical, if I wasn’t crying so much, that absolutely nothing is working. You’d think one of the many treatments would at least bring some little bit of improvement in his body. And with all of the law of attraction work we’ve been doing, you’d think there’d be some little sign that we’re on the right path.
    On one hand, with as strong as your desire is, I get why you'd say that you wonder why you aren't seeing a "sign" of improvement, but if you step back and read what you've written you'd see this steady, strong drumbeat of "We're desperate! We're desperate!" and it's not hard to understand why that's what you're

    Quote Originally Posted by WriteNow View Post
    However, I desperately need advice on how to open the gates to what we strongly desire. Which is for my husband to live.
    Your husband's life and well-being is assured and inevitable. Either he's going to release a lot of resistance and have more life in this physical body, or he's going to croak and release a lot of resistance and have more life outside of his physical body. There just isn't a scenario where there's not more life for him. The only question is how much you're going to suffer by trying to control the path of least resistance through which all of this comes. When my mother had cancer and it was apparent things could go the way I didn't want them to go, I realized that I had the one choice I just described - to try to oppose what I couldn't control (and suffer), or relax and let whatever was going to happen happen with as much grace and ease as I possibly could.
    Quote Originally Posted by WriteNow View Post
    So we can be happy. Ok, I hear what you’re thinking. Be happy first, and THEN he will go into remission and live. It’s impossible to be happy considering what we’re going through with the doctors right in our face telling us that my husband doesn’t have much time left on this Earth.
    Which is the point I made at the very beginning of this post. It's unlikely that you're going to be able to approach this subject and feel better right now. Meditation may be the only practical way you're going to feel better.

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    Thank you Wellbeing.

    I try to tell myself a different story. I will say things like, he's had good days. Or, he looks good today. Or, he's walking faster. He's probably getting better. I also try to ignore the situation when he isn't doing well. I try to concentrate on other things. But when I see "what is" I fall apart. After I meditate in the morning and tell myself a different story, I am feeling more hopeful. But when I hear him throwing up his food, or see how thin and weak he is, I just fall apart. When I fall apart I just repeat over and over, in panic and fear, The Universe is good, The Universe has our back, God is merciful. These are just words to shut out my fearful thoughts.

    I know that we're supposed to feel better before the conditions can change. I'm trying so hard, I really am. My husband is handling this situation a lot better than I am. He seems calm, unafraid, not particularly motivated to do all of the physical things I want him to do. I keep telling him if I had cancer that I'd be doing this, and that, etc.

    I keep hearing Abraham say how I can influence him to better health if I was in the Vortex. If that's the case, then I'm doing a really bad job. If anything, I'm probably preventing him from getting better because of my crying constantly and getting after him to do a hundred different things for his health. Which I realise haven't helped him.

    Is it possible for me to influence him to better health?

    And what about my husband? Why isn't the vibrational work not working for him? Is it my fault? Something I'm doing, or not doing?

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    Thank you, Marc.

    I guess I haven't really made peace. Yes, we're trying to get the condition to change first, rather than feeling better first. And yes, I'm hoping for his remission because I can't accept him dying at this time. I'm just not ready for it to happen. Everyone croaks, but it's not the right time for us. Yes, I'm desperate. I'm beyond grief. I want to relax so badly, but I can't seem to be able to do it. I will try to meditate more. But as I said, soon as I see"what is" with my husband, I'm falling apart again. Abraham has so many people in the hot seat that have gone into remission with their cancers, I don't understand why we can't do it as well.

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    By the way, if what we flow out is what we get back, aka ASK and it is GIVEN, then it's not peace that my husband is looking for. He's already made peace, me, that's a different story. It's LIFE that he is wanting. So maybe if my husband lived more, enjoyed life more, was happy more, he'd receive more life?

    Basically, he just goes back and forth to various doctors, and then sits at home and becomes sicker. He won't talk to friends he used to have at work. Nobody knows that he is sick, except for family. I think he's too embarrassed to tell anyone. He's given up all of his hobbies. He just sleeps and is sick. Sleeps and is sick. Deep down inside, I feel that we are missing something simple.

    I agree that we are all going to die. Eventually. But what about Abe's promise that what we ask for is given? They say it's just a matter of getting rid of the resistance. They say that we cannot get rid of a desire. That must mean if we want a cure, then it's possible to have one. I would like to know how my husband can get rid of this resistance he's supposed to have. It has to be more than just making 'peace.'

  7. #7
    Super Moderator WellBeing's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by WriteNow View Post
    I try to tell myself a different story. I will say things like, he's had good days. Or, he looks good today. Or, he's walking faster. He's probably getting better.
    And I'm sure that's been helpful when you have those conditions to observe, provided you feel relief as you do that and you don't diminish that relief because he's not cured yet. But that still keeps you focused on the conditions.

    And you're using your focus on conditions and your story that the conditions are wrong to make yourself desperate to change the conditions. So, you'll want to tell a new story about the conditions that he's manifesting, a story which makes his manifestations a little less wrong.

    Quote Originally Posted by WriteNow View Post
    I also try to ignore the situation when he isn't doing well.
    I, personally, an not a big fan of “ignoring,” especially in a situation which is all around you. With situations such as yours, it's really hard to “ignore.” Not only that, but you don't want to “ignore” him or his conditions at those times. To do that would run counter to your intention to give him the care you want to give him.But you CAN soothe yourself about his conditions at that time.

    Quote Originally Posted by WriteNow View Post
    But when I hear him throwing up his food, or see how thin and weak he is, I just fall apart.
    Here's something for you to keep in mind. You think it's because he’s thin or throwing up or weak, that's causing you to fall apart. But that's not it. You're falling apart because of the thoughts that you're thinking when you observe his weakness, etc. I underlined that important point because you've left it out of your report. You can't shift your thoughts if you don't start with the thoughts that you're thinking. And you're not going to be able to shift your thoughts as you're falling apart. When you're falling apart, you're “out of the airplane without a parachute.” You're falling apart, because you've been practicing a momentum that then sweeps you away. It's all right that you've done that and that you're being swept away.

    And when you're falling/being swept away, that's a helpful time because you can collect the thoughts that you've been thinking about him. They'll be right there in the forefront of your mind. Then when your momentum subsides (and it WILL) you can then soothe and shift the thoughts that you've collected.

    Quote Originally Posted by WriteNow View Post
    When I fall apart I just repeat over and over, in panic and fear, The Universe is good, The Universe has our back, God is merciful. These are just words to shut out my fearful thoughts.
    Let me ask you: what's wrong to you about feeling fear? That's an honest question.

    Quote Originally Posted by WriteNow View Post
    I know that we're supposed to feel better before the conditions can change. I'm trying so hard, I really am.
    There's no “supposed to” in any of this but I'm glad you are familiar with the idea of feeling better without needing conditions to change first. (I said that differently than you did, did you notice?) Can you see--and this is NOT a criticism but an explanation--how what you're reporting has been different from that idea?

    Now, that trying “so hard” is actually helpful. That efforting feeling is to let you know when you're either reaching further than the LoA will let you or you're trying to overcome your vibrational gap through action. That trying-so-hard feeling is your indicator to dial it back some. As Abraham say, “be easy about this.”

    Quote Originally Posted by WriteNow View Post
    If that's the case, then I'm doing a really bad job.
    How does that thought feel? Is that thought helping your alignment or hindering it?

    So, can you see how your pushing against and trying to control all these conditions is contributing to the exhaustion that you’ve been feeling? You really can’t control what he creates. You can’t control how his disease progresses.

    So, here--in that quoted statement/thought of yours--is an example of how you’re making this situation “wrong” when it’s not. Here is an opportunity for you to soothe that thought and to find a way to feel a little relief for yourself during this time, without his bodily conditions changing.

    Quote Originally Posted by WriteNow View Post
    And what about my husband?
    He’s creating his reality. He’s doing the best he can and where he is is all right. Those aren’t mere words. That’s the opinion of your IB and his IB. It truly is, even if neither you nor he can see that in this moment.

    Quote Originally Posted by WriteNow View Post
    Why isn't the vibrational work not working for him?
    This is my point. It IS working for him. Where he is IS all right. You’re just noticing all the ways that it seems to you (or that you hear him say) it’s not working for him. This IS his PoLR. To what, we don’t yet know. As Marc pointed out, he will either release a lot of resistance to manifest a healing to continue onto more life in this physical body or he will manifest his transition, which will release a lot of resistance, to continue onto more life in a different format.

    Quote Originally Posted by WriteNow View Post
    Is it my fault?
    First off, how does that thought feel when you think/say/write it?

    We had that discussion with you already. It sounds like you’ll want to revisit that thread of yours.

    How can it be your fault when there is NO fault to be had in this world? How can it be your fault when there is NOTHING going “wrong”? How can it be your fault when he’s creating his reality?

    Quote Originally Posted by WriteNow View Post
    ...and getting after him to do a hundred different things for his health. Which I realise haven't helped him.Is it possible for me to influence him to better health?
    Isn’t this another form of “getting after him to do...different things for his health”?

    Whether he “goes” or “stays,” he’s really been giving you a wonderful gift all this time that I’ve “known” him with you. He’s been showing you that whether he does this or that, whether he does what you want or not, whether he goes or stays, your happiness always is (and alwayshas been) about your own alignment. Here he is again, giving you yet another opportunity to learn that valuable--I don’t want to say “lesson” because we’re not here to learn lessons--reminder. You have the ability to find your alignment, whatever he’s doing and whether what he’s doing pleases you or not. When you CAN find your alignment, you will have a satisfying relationship with him, whatever he’s doing, wherever/however he’s doing it.

    Quote Originally Posted by WriteNow View Post
    Abraham has so many people in the hot seat that have gone into remission with their cancers, I don't understand why we can't do it as well.
    You can. You’ll want to shift your focus on several aspects of this situation, just like they did.

  8. #8
    Super Kitty Marc's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by WriteNow View Post

    I guess I haven't really made peace. Yes, we're trying to get the condition to change first, rather than feeling better first. And yes, I'm hoping for his remission because I can't accept him dying at this time. I'm just not ready for it to happen.

    [/quote]
    We've had this basic conversation a few years ago, where I pointed out the flaw in your notion that if you push against something hard enough that it will go away. That won't ever work. The more you emphasize how you're not ready and how you can't accept this thing you can't control, it doesn't prevent anything from happening, you just end up traumatizing yourself.
    Quote Originally Posted by WriteNow View Post

    Everyone croaks, but it's not the right time for us. Yes, I'm desperate. I'm beyond grief.

    Exactly my point. Insisting that it's the wrong time and that you're not ready and how you just can't accept it is what you're doing that causes the desperation and grief. It's really up to you to decide how much longer you want to continue to push against things and cause that suffering for yourself.
    Quote Originally Posted by WriteNow View Post

    I want to relax so badly, but I can't seem to be able to do it. I will try to meditate more. But as I said, soon as I see"what is" with my husband, I'm falling apart again.

    And yet you can still take a break from all of that for a while.
    Quote Originally Posted by WriteNow View Post
    Abraham has so many people in the hot seat that have gone into remission with their cancers, I don't understand why we can't do it as well.
    I'm not saying that it's not possible, but Jerry didn't.
    Quote Originally Posted by WriteNow View Post
    By the way, if what we flow out is what we get back, aka ASK and it is GIVEN, then it's not peace that my husband is looking for.

    Or perhaps he's not where you telling yourself he is. But here's the thing -- when we're talking about "peace," we're talking non-resistance. That's a vibrational state that's letting in what is desired.
    Quote Originally Posted by WriteNow View Post

    He's already made peace, me, that's a different story. It's LIFE that he is wanting. So maybe if my husband lived more, enjoyed life more, was happy more, he'd receive more life?
    That's the point I was making in my last post -- you've got a false premise at the heart of what you're asking. More life is INEVITABLE for him. It's going to come one way or another. Is it possible for him to let go of resistance and remain in this physical body? Maybe.

    Quote Originally Posted by WriteNow View Post

    Basically, he just goes back and forth to various doctors, and then sits at home and becomes sicker. He won't talk to friends he used to have at work. Nobody knows that he is sick, except for family. I think he's too embarrassed to tell anyone.
    Too embarrassed because he's just so at peace with what's happening? Do you see how that doesn't make sense?
    [QUOTE=WriteNow;997677]He's given up all of his hobbies. He just sleeps and is sick. Sleeps and is sick. Deep down inside, I feel that we are missing something simple.
    Quote Originally Posted by WriteNow View Post

    I agree that we are all going to die. Eventually. But what about Abe's promise that what we ask for is given? They say it's just a matter of getting rid of the resistance. They say that we cannot get rid of a desire. That must mean if we want a cure, then it's possible to have one. I would like to know how my husband can get rid of this resistance he's supposed to have. It has to be more than just making 'peace.'
    We're not talking to him, we're talking to YOU. And that's part of the issue, you're wanting your HUSBAND to get rid of HIS resistance so that he feels better and has better conditions so that you can sit back and observe those improved conditions and feel better. That's really at the heart of the problem, isn't it? It's been the story you've been telling about your husband even before this happened, is it not? You talked about how you had been at powerlessness and rage directed at your husband for a year and a half supposedly because of his behavior. This is really just a bigger, amplified version of all of that. You just can't control what he does or how he feels and that's as it's supposed to be. This isn't about him getting rid of his resistance, it's about you letting go and soothing YOURS.

    One way or another, things are going to resolve themselves for him. The question is how you're going to start finding ways to soothing yourself.

  9. #9
    Super Moderator WellBeing's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by WriteNow View Post
    By the way, if what we flow out is what we get back, aka ASK and it is GIVEN, then it's not peace that my husband is looking for. He's already made peace, me, that's a different story.
    This is why we are talking to you about what you're doing with your vibration.

    We have no idea what your husband is doing with his vibration because--I’m sorry--you have no idea either, even if he tells you. Only he can know what he's doing with his vibration. And if he's telling you what he's doing with his vibration, he might not be all that accurate. (You have only to revisit your previous thread to see how you, an experienced Aber, didn't recognize that you were OotV.)

    Quote Originally Posted by WriteNow View Post
    It's LIFE that he is wanting.
    That's great because, as Marc wrote, that's what he's on his way to.

    Quote Originally Posted by WriteNow View Post
    So maybe if my husband lived more, enjoyed life more, was happy more, he'd receive more life?
    No, that's NOT it at all. This is not the “bargain” type of arrangement that you seem to think it is. There's “no one” sitting on a cloud debating, “Should we take him? Leave him be? Did he appreciate his life enough? Will he squander it if we give him more? Did he collect enough marks on a chart to make him worthy of our attention?....” There is NOTHING like that going on.

    Quote Originally Posted by WriteNow View Post
    Basically, he just goes back and forth to various doctors, and then sits at home and becomes sicker. He won't talk to friends he used to have at work. Nobody knows that he is sick, except for family. I think he's too embarrassed to tell anyone. He's given up all of his hobbies. He just sleeps and is sick. Sleeps and is sick.
    Sleeping because it provides him a relief from his sickness and from the resistance that you're describing here?

    Abraham tell us that there are two ends to “the stick” of every subject. Can you see, in the few posts of today, how you have a number of opportunities to start focusing away from your Unwanted ends of your sticks? Again, that's NOT a criticism. Just a simple highlighting of some opportunities you haven't been noticing.

    Quote Originally Posted by WriteNow View Post
    Deep down inside, I feel that we are missing something simple.
    We've talked about a few of them, haven't we?

    [QUOTE=WriteNow;997677]I agree that we are all going to die. Eventually. But what about Abe's promise that what we ask for is given? They say it's just a matter of getting rid of the resistance.[QUOTE]
    They also say that, when you're OotV, you can't accurately translate the contents of your Vortex. They point out that when you have your radio dial set to 88.6, you can't hear what's being broadcast on 101.3.

    Although he may have said, “I want X,” for all you know, his identification of X might be from his OotV perspective and not his ITV perspective. When I (and I'm deliberately using me in my example here) was convinced that death is a bad thing with punishment, torment and eternal pain afterwards, I'd have told you--very honestly--that I prefer life even if it meant that I would continue that life in a body ravaged by disease, chemicals and surgeries.

    You can only know what you've put in your Vortex and you're not going to know that accurately until you get into your Vortex long enough to accurately translate it's content from that vibration.

    Quote Originally Posted by WriteNow View Post
    They say that we cannot get rid of a desire. That must mean if we want a cure, then it's possible to have one.
    It absolutely is possible. Step 3 is Allow. You have to line up with it. You can't line up with anything that you've put in your Vortex when you're focusing on the wrongness of what-is.

    And I'm focusing on you specifically. NOT because you've made him sick. You did NOT. And NOT because you're delaying his healing. You are NOT. And NOT in order to effect his cure, because that's his job, not yours. I'm focusing on you because you're the only one to whose vibration we have access and because that's the only way you can have access to everything in your Vortex, including your satisfying relationship with him, no matter what or how he creates.

    Quote Originally Posted by WriteNow View Post
    I would like to know how my husband can get rid of this resistance he's supposed to have.
    Again, I don't want to make this about him, because we really don't have access to his vibration (and you don't either). But it's not “supposed to” have. Look at what you've written here in this thread alone.

    If I did not yet know how to swim, I would not be the most helpful or credible lifeguard. We've been talking to you about your resistance and your own alignment. When you are effective in your own working with your resistance and in managing your own alignment, then you can consider helping him work with his. (Although from your own reporting--and this is not a competition--he seems to be doing a better job of managing his own vibration.) At this moment--and I say this kindly--you’re like that non-swimming lifeguard. The two of you wind up “drowning,” which is what you've been reporting to us here. Learn how to manage your own alignment. Then you can help him--if he needs and wants that--with his.

    Quote Originally Posted by WriteNow View Post
    It has to be more than just making 'peace.'
    Again, I can't know what he's doing with his vibration but much of what you're writing here suggests that he's making some peace with where he is. You even said so at the beginning of your BTW reply.

    I made my “making peace with where you are” as something for you to do. Is it the only thing for you to do? Now, there's more beyond that. It is, as I mentioned, your good first step on your vibrational journey.

  10. #10

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    WellBeing,

    You just made me more aware of the stories I'm telling myself when I look at his conditions. I have to work on making his conditions less wrong in my mind.

    Sometimes Abe will tell a person in the hot seat that has cancer to ignore the conditions and pet the dog, and sometimes they will help another person to discover where their resistance is so they can clean it up. I wasn't too sure what we should be doing. I agree that it's best not to ignore situations that have a strong unwanted momentum.

    "I'm falling apart because of the thoughts that I'm thinking." Again, I see that I need to shift my thoughts to something that feels better as I'm thinking them.

    What's wrong with feeling fear? This is an easy one. The fear is so strong that I can't breathe or sleep. It feels like I'm dying inside. I can't handle that intense feeling.

    "feeling better without needing conditions to change first" Yes, I noticed that you worded it differently than I did. I see the difference

    I have put a lot of effort in "trying very hard." Almost more effort than I can handle. Sometimes I feel like I'm going to collapse with all of the effort I'm doing. Same with the action. I get two to three hrs. a night of sleep because I'm on the computer searching for "cures." I keep telling myself that I can look after myself, physically and emotionally, once he is cured. But that doesn't appear to be happening and I see that I'm being dragged down with him.

    I'm trying to control all of these conditions because I feel that if he would just listen to me, he would be cured. I am finding that you're right and that I can't really control anything that he is
    doing.

    I know that myhusband is creating his reality. But I really wonder if he's doing the best that he can. Yes, that's me trying to control the situation again, thinking that he has to follow my instructions.

    I feel like I'm to blame for his sickness. You see, when I wrote those other posts complaining about my husband, such a long time ago, I took the advice that was given to me. And that was to look after myself. I couldn't do that by trying to talk to him because we always ended up in arguments. And I couldn't feel good if I was in the same room as him. So I avoided him as much as possible and looked after myself. I went for long walks by myself, I exercised more, and I felt more relaxed. My life was starting to feel better. And good things were starting to happen for me. And then he got sick, as if on purpose, as if he was looking for attention from me. That's why I feel that I am to blame for him getting sick. Well, now he's got my attention. And instead of looking after myself, like I had learned to do, I'm only looking after him and ignoring myself.

    Thank you for the reminder that I have to get into alignment, no matter what he's doing, and how he's doing it. It seems like this is exactly the same problem that I've always had, only it's just different circumstances. I have my work cut out for me. I'm just not sure how I'm going to go about it because before he got sick I basically stopped thinking about him. And I can't do that now. I'll figure it out, somehow

    You guys are writing too fast, lol! I see there's two more responses waiting for me. Which is good, because the more clarity I get, the easier it will be for me to get into alignment.

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