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Thread: Parenting Confusion

  1. #21
    Super Moderator WellBeing's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by rose essence View Post
    OK, we'll agree to disagree.
    Fair enough! [ETA: That's part of the variety of this world that we both came to explore, enjoy and benefit from.]

  2. #22
    Super Moderator WellBeing's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by rose essence View Post
    ...I still don't agree.
    I stand by your freedom to disagree and I'm not here to ramrod my thoughts down anyone's throat but I had this thought that I think is helpful to this thread:

    I understand that you don't agree (and, again, it's not my intention to get you to agree with me). But let me ask you this: Are these stories that you have about little ones (the whole spectrum--babies, infants, toddlers, and so on) and their behaviors (the whole spectrum) and their vibrational abilities, are these things that you want or don't want? (And you don't have to answer that here.)

    Because I understand that you don't agree because this has been your experience. I get that and your experience not only is valid; it's your creation. (And let's sidestep whether you created it "deliberately" or why you created it.) So, from this point now, is this something that you want to create more of? (Again, you don't have to answer that here.) You're fully entitled and free to decide "Yes." That's your choice and your preference. You get to choose.

    However, if you were to have answered to yourself that you now prefer something different for babies, then you can leave your past experience behind (kind of like that hairstyle I might have favored back in high school but now prefer otherwise) and start to acknowledge that this has been your experience because you've been observing and telling stories about what you've been observing, which has been creating these experiences for you. (And maybe you might decide that you want more of these types of baby experiences but might find this conversation useful on a different topic?)

    Just food for thought.

  3. #23
    Yes, these are very good questions. To me, it feels quite good.
    The arc of the child that becomes a formed adult is an expansion. From natural yet not deliberate alignment, by way of the painful experience aka contrast of not being aligned and the shooting of a RoD, towards being aligned in a deliberate, conscious way.
    Whatever conditioning parents and other agents have caused, it is contrast that serves the expansion (of the leading edge people, for now!) into being a deliberate adult.
    No-one would ever be able to cause someone who's already deliberate to walk away from what he knows. It would be, to me, a simple impossibility.

  4. #24
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    Quote Originally Posted by WellBeing View Post
    Don't you think that you've put into your Vortex a desire for his success in the world?
    Don't you think that you've put into your Vortex a desire for his physical thriving?
    Don't you think that you've put into your Vortex a desire for his being well-fed?
    Don't you think that you've put into your Vortex a desire for his health and for him to feel and know his vitality?
    Don't you think that you've put into your Vortex a desire for his body to have all the nutrients it needs to grow and thrive?
    Don't you think that you've put into your Vortex a desire for him to enjoy the moments of his life?
    Don't you think that you've put into your Vortex a desire for him to enjoy the moments of his life when he's eating?
    Don't you think that you've put into your Vortex an understanding that he put himself into this world where there are so many others for his own good reasons?
    Don't you think that you've put into your Vortex a desire for him to fulfill his intentions of coming into this world where there are so many others?
    Don't you think that you've put into your Vortex a desire for him to romp and to play with the others that he's put himself with?

    Don't you think that these are things that he, too, has put into his Vortex for himself?

    So, can you see that by getting into your Vortex you can have access to solutions to a great many things that he wants? But, until you get ITV, you will not have access to any of that. As you're learning, whether he gets into his Vortex is his business and not your job.


    (Now, this is going to sound challenging but bear with me.) And it doesn't even matter when he does get into his Vortex because if you're ITV and he's not, the LoA won't put you together. So, all you really "have to" do is tend to your alignment and let the LoA do its job.

    There are two ways of telling when you're ITV:

    • By how you feel AND
    • By what you're manifesting



    If you think you're ITV and you rendez-vous with him to co-create a power struggle, you can then know that you weren't as ITV or as stable ITV as you had thought. That's good to know.

    When you are ITV, then the LoA will bring you two together when he's ITV and he won't refuse the "solution" that you received from your Vortex, because it will be a "solution" which will satisfy him as well.

    THIS is exactly what I was looking for!
    Somehow I keep forgetting that my point of attraction won’t bring me things that are not a match. Its been easier to understand this with objects, not people...especially people I have a deep love and connection with.

    Thanks!

  5. #25

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    Quote Originally Posted by rose essence View Post
    Interesting you should say this, because it is not my experience at all. Babies need a lot of soothing, they don't soothe themselves like, ever, and rely on the mother or father for this, in fact they cry quite a lot as we all know.
    Just wanted to chime in on this since my experience with my few months old baby is a little different than this.

    Our baby actually loves playing by himself, is insatiably curious about EVERYTHING, and doesn’t need a lot of soothing. I have quite a few stories which seem to be “counter” to “accepted” norm—he was born a month earlier, and yet his pediatrician told us on our last visit that he’s at par with or even slightly ahead of “normal” aged babies. I never bothered about “sleep training” him, and yet he sleeps like, well, a baby, right through the night. He communicates with us, and we with him. (He’s grunted at the exact right place so many times that it’s definitely not a “coincidence”—one of the most memorable ones being when I asked him if he knows how much he’s adored by the Universe, and he went, “Huunnnh.” :P)

    I feel that the stories I tell myself about this being, this baby, MATTER A WHOLE LOT of lot. The things I focus on about him matter a whole lot. My own alignment WHEN I am thinking about him perhaps matters the most.

    I actively and deliberately try to keep in my awareness the truth of his whole self, of his non-physical-ness, and of the happiness that I know he is spun of.

    I’m new to this parenting thing but not to unconditional alignment. There was a situation today where I was thinking about this exact same topic—co-creating with this being that I adore, and it came to me SO CLEARLY that the answer is to go within, connect with myself, and then see what comes up. That really is the answer to everything I guess!

    Quote Originally Posted by rose essence View Post
    And have you ever been close to a toddler having a tantrum? Or tried to convince a kid it's time to stop playing and get out of the door? they completely dislike transitions, because if their focus is somewhere, they don't know that they can willingly put it somewhere else. Then they can easily get distracted by the next sparkly thing but there's nothing deliberate about it.
    I also think that this is actually a POSITIVE and not a negative. They NATURALLY, and ALREADY know how to keep themselves in alignment. They mightn’t be deliberate in the way we think but that’s because they’re BORN KNOWING this skill. (till they get trained out of it I guess?) that’s my view on it anyhow!

    Anyway, thanks for the thread and all the discussions!

  6. #26
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    great thread I remember a workshop, maybe back in 2009 or so?, hopefully someone knows or has the transcript where a dad was driving his kid to school, and he always let the child ride with his head out of the sunroof - well, of course someone at the school reported the dad, and it caused all sorts of issues. I remember the basics of Abraham's answer was what is said here - that if you are lined up with that action and in the vortex, then the "cops" wouldn't even be able to see you. I looked briefly for the clip on Youtube but I don't see it - I do see a lot of other Abraham answers about parenting, so you might want to check that out in addition to all the wisdom here. Best wishes!

  7. #27

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    Quote Originally Posted by WellBeing View Post
    Babies are soothe themselves, lots. In fact, they came from an environment where there was no one else around to soothe them. So, their way of soothing themselves might look different to you (and, because of that difference, might be unrecognized by you as soothing) because their original way of soothing had no "other" to soothe them.
    I love this WB, thanks for sharing! Another thing that works for me is to try to actively remember that it’s MORE about me, and my relationship with myself than him (when I am feeling irritated etc.)

  8. #28
    Quote Originally Posted by skylark View Post
    Just wanted to chime in on this since my experience with my few months old baby is a little different than this.

    Our baby actually loves playing by himself, is insatiably curious about EVERYTHING, and doesn’t need a lot of soothing. I have quite a few stories which seem to be “counter” to “accepted” norm—he was born a month earlier, and yet his pediatrician told us on our last visit that he’s at par with or even slightly ahead of “normal” aged babies. I never bothered about “sleep training” him, and yet he sleeps like, well, a baby, right through the night. He communicates with us, and we with him. (He’s grunted at the exact right place so many times that it’s definitely not a “coincidence”—one of the most memorable ones being when I asked him if he knows how much he’s adored by the Universe, and he went, “Huunnnh.” :P)

    I feel that the stories I tell myself about this being, this baby, MATTER A WHOLE LOT of lot. The things I focus on about him matter a whole lot. My own alignment WHEN I am thinking about him perhaps matters the most.

    I actively and deliberately try to keep in my awareness the truth of his whole self, of his non-physical-ness, and of the happiness that I know he is spun of.

    I’m new to this parenting thing but not to unconditional alignment. There was a situation today where I was thinking about this exact same topic—co-creating with this being that I adore, and it came to me SO CLEARLY that the answer is to go within, connect with myself, and then see what comes up. That really is the answer to everything I guess!



    I also think that this is actually a POSITIVE and not a negative. They NATURALLY, and ALREADY know how to keep themselves in alignment. They mightn’t be deliberate in the way we think but that’s because they’re BORN KNOWING this skill. (till they get trained out of it I guess?) that’s my view on it anyhow!

    Anyway, thanks for the thread and all the discussions!
    First of all, I want to say that in my eyes there is nothing wrong or negative about children not being particularly deliberate. It's totally fine that they are exactly where they are. And I didn't mean to say by that that they are difficult, that may depend on many factors, one of them being their environment. I am not surprised that your baby is not needing particular soothing from you, because he already feels the vibrations of the environment and they are soothing already. It doesn't necessarily mean that he's able to soothe himself. To prove that you would have to see his reaction to a challenging environment (let's not make that experiment!).

  9. #29
    Super Moderator WellBeing's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by skylark View Post
    I love this WB, thanks for sharing! Another thing that works for me is to try to actively remember that it’s MORE about me, and my relationship with myself than him (when I am feeling irritated etc.)
    I was just listening to the Huntington Beach Workshop of this year. In the segment (Session 1, HS 1, I believe) with a musician/sound healer, Abraham shared a dream that Esther had had where she was singing a lullaby to a baby. They remarked how Esther was aware from her waking life that she always was singing the lullaby to soothe the baby. But in this dream, she learned that she had been, all this time, singing the lullaby to soothe herself. When she got into her own alignment, all the things she wanted flowed from her, as it always does.

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