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Thread: Unsure how to proceed with desires about a specific person...

  1. #1

    Unsure how to proceed with desires about a specific person...

    Hello, you lovely lot!

    I've posted a few questions here before, concerning love and relationships. And thanks for your lovely replies.

    Something has occurred to me. After a break-up with a boyfriend which I did not want, and his moving out and my just wanting him back, I thought I might focus on a new, improved relationship with him, which I would like to be romantic.

    According to Facebook (I know...) it seems he may or may not have found a new person to turn his attentions to. I'm just now sure how that stands. Would it be "unfair" of me to make my own focus about a beautiful romantic relationship between him and I, given that there might be someone else in the picture? I'm just not sure what I should be focusing on...

    Thank you all very much,

    Julia xxx

  2. #2
    Super Moderator WellBeing's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by julia12 View Post
    I'm just not sure what I should be focusing on...
    The answer remains the same: You want to be focusing on thoughts, topics and things which are easy for you to feel better about. That's how you allow the partner you've put in your Vortex (whether it's him or someone else) into your experience.

    As you focus on thoughts, topics and things in such a way that you feel "worse" (and that's "worse" than the joy you had been feeling a moment ago or that's "worse" as in "crappy," etc.), your "worse" feeling is letting you know that you are barring the door, preventing the partner (and everything else that you've put in your Vortex) to flow into your experience.

    But you seem to want to use these teachings as a sort of vibrational voodoo to Abe him back. As you've been doing that in your various threads, you've been feeling angst. Your angst is the picture that's in the dictionary next to the entry of "worse." Don't do that.

    So, think about it this way. If you were somehow to use these teachings to manipulate him back to you, wouldn't your knowledge that you were able to Abe him away from someone else heighten your Insecurity rather than soothe it? Wouldn't you then be worried (perhaps, in the back of your mind) that someone--some "better" Aber--would then use their power of Abrah-tude to break you up and steal him away from you? That's not something that you want, is it? Of course not.

    Get happy. That's Abraham's "only one answer." Get happy. And you'll probably have to give the topic of him a rest in order for you to Get happy. Get happy, and then see what the universe yields to you. That's Step 3. That's Allowing.

  3. #3
    spiritualcookie's Avatar
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    Hi Julia
    Re: What to focus on: Here are two possible suggestions:

    1.) Go general: The "what is" story you shared about the current situation involves a lot of specifics to which you have some resistance to. Going general can take some of the resistance off of the current situation. Instead of focusing on him specifically, you can focus on the feel-good aspects of what you want in a relationship (in general). This may involve remembering / focusing on feel-good memories with different people (happy friend-relationship moments, happy-family-relationship memories, even happy romantic-relationships as long as it's not too "charged" to make you accidentally activate the opposite end of the stick for you). You can even focus on feel-good relationship stuff you've read in books or seen in movies, or seen in artwork you liked - it all counts as getting the momentum going on "the wanted end of the stick".

    2.) If the subject of relationships is too charged and you can't help but activate the "lack" end of the stick when you think about any romantic relationships, it may be an idea to get off the topic and focus elsewhere for now. What you want is in the Vortex already - you don't need to focus on it all the time in order for it to manifest. You just need to reach for feeling better in general about anything, to get closer to the vicinity of your Vortex, and then vortexy things (including that happy relationship you want - maybe with this guy you currently have your focus on - or maybe with someone else who's awesome and in resonance with you) - these vortexy things will have more vibrational resonance with your vibrational set-point once you're feeling better in general. So when your vibration is elevated in that way, vortexy relationship desires start to manifest.

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