Page 1 of 7 123456 ... LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 69

Thread: how to feel more worthy regarding physical attributes or "beauty"??

  1. #1
    star fairy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Location
    City of Angels , ,
    Posts
    818

    how to feel more worthy regarding physical attributes or "beauty"??

    hello abers,
    ive spent a lot of thought on worthiness, listened to abraham, and other teachers, etc and i find i dont really have the 'worthy' issue in a traditional sense of what most of the other hot seaters or people in general talk about , like they might have negative self-talk, or think they noone likes them or whatnot. in my case, i have found it is more centered around being 'beautiful' and 'young'...like i can feel really great but then walk past a mirror or storefront or catch a glimpse of myself in the rearview mirror, and i'm like 'hmm that is not what i look like in my own mind'

    so what gives with that and how to think better thoughts about it? abe says dont care about the peanut gallery but this kind of the desire IS about wanting to be 'beautiful enough' (worthy) of having a beautiful mate, friends, etc. Also i dont like pictures of myself (because they dont look like the version i have of myself in my head/vortex version) and this is the 'selfie' age to boot.

    now i think better feeling thoughts and stay off the subject MOST of the time and feel pretty good. it is only when i see physical reflections or photos that i feel this. so i am looking more on how to approach it , what thoughts to think when i see myself, because i haven't come up with any BFTs about this *in the mirror* despite feeling "pretty" when i can't see myself. just looking for how YOU would approach this as an Aber if you had this going on
    thank you
    xx,
    star

  2. #2
    spiritualcookie's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2016
    Location
    London, UK
    Posts
    396
    Hi star

    I think there are three beliefs / subjects here:

    1.) "I don't like the way I look in the mirror / in photos"
    2.) "Others will think I'm not beautiful"
    3.) "Others will only accept me / be attracted to me if I look a certain way".

    Distraction, for me, only keeps the problem away as long as I'm distracted, but once I'm confronted with (say a mirror), I'm back to square 1, so doing some work on these beliefs may help move the position of the square gradually to a better-feeling place

    - - -

    Ideas for how to work on #1:
    - Find something you like about yourself. Maybe it's your eyes, maybe it's your smile, maybe it's your legs, maybe it's how cute your outfit is - whatever it is - when you see yourself in photos or in the mirror, focus on that thing (or things) that you DO like about yourself, make a point of focusing on that, appreciating that and milk that.
    - Finding-a-way-to-Make-Peace-with-what-is Self-talk like:
    "This is how I look, and even though it's not exactly how I see myself in my head, and maybe it's not 100% how I'd like to look, it's ok, because I know that my energy and my vibration is what really attracts people."

    The famous Roald Dahl quote comes to mind:

    "A person who has good thoughts cannot ever be ugly. You can have a wonky nose and a crooked mouth and a double chin and stick-out teeth, but if you have good thoughts they will shine out of your face like sunbeams and you will always look lovely."

    - - -

    Ideas for working on #2:
    - Just because *I* don't think I'm supermodel-ish.. beauty is so subjective.. It's entirely possible that there's someone attractive and beautiful out there who'll see me, and think I'm *just* their type, and they'll see me as the most beautiful person ever, regardless of what I see in the mirror through my eyes.

    - - -

    Ideas for working on #3
    - I currently believe that beautiful people only choose to have beautiful friends/ mates. But is that *really* always true? Maybe not.. Now that I think about it, having beautiful friends / mates isn't *always* conditional on looks. I've seen cases where there's a mix of friends and couples, with varying degrees of beauty and attractiveness, yet they're still together. (Maybe pick examples of celebrity couples or real people you can refer to, where you think one of the partners is attractive and the other is more plain in your eyes, to help you strengthen this belief that these kinds of matches occur). Although maybe it's sometimes the case that beautiful people are drawn to beautiful people, it's not *always* the case. Some beautiful people value personality and energy and good vibes over external appearances. Maybe even it's more than "some" beautiful people.. maybe there are "quite a large number of" beautiful people that feel that way! And you know what, I'd much rather be friends / mates with a beautiful person who is kind and values personality and energy.. so those beautiful people who are more superficial.. I don't think they're my kind of people anyway! I'm gonna find me some beautiful people who value people for who they are and for their energy - I know they're out there too!*
    - I know other people who maybe aren't at supermodel-level of attractiveness, yet they have such awesome personalities and energy, that *I* look at them fondly and see their beauty, regardless of what they look like. And if *I* feel like that about others, I'm sure others can feel that way when they see me."

    - - -

    * Edit: I just realised there's something interesting here...
    You are wanting to hang out with beautiful friends and attract a beautiful mate.. why is it so important that they are beautiful to you? is it possible for you to recognize their beauty if they have feel-good energy or great personalities even if they're not super attractive physically? Maybe once you get there, and become softer about what constitutes your perceived beauty in others, it will also help move the square to a better-feeling place about how you view yourself.

  3. #3
    Beloved Woman paradise-on-earth's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    Location
    Elfengarten, Germany
    Posts
    69,872
    Quote Originally Posted by spiritualcookie View Post
    "A person who has good thoughts cannot ever be ugly. You can have a wonky nose and a crooked mouth and a double chin and stick-out teeth, but if you have good thoughts they will shine out of your face like sunbeams and you will always look lovely."
    I love it all, cookie, but this sticks out to me. Wow...
    of course, we all can agree intellectually upon this (I think). But making it a point to apply this TO YOURSELF is dynamite.
    Making it crucial to ingrain this intellectual knowing into your own posture, into the thoughts that you choose about yourself, into the idea you are intending to hold DELIBERATELY about yourself... and being willing to drop anything that opposes this understanding...

    Wonderful inspiration, thank you!

  4. #4
    Beloved Woman paradise-on-earth's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    Location
    Elfengarten, Germany
    Posts
    69,872
    Quote Originally Posted by star fairy View Post
    in my case, i have found it is more centered around being 'beautiful' and 'young'...like i can feel really great but then walk past a mirror or storefront or catch a glimpse of myself in the rearview mirror, and i'm like 'hmm that is not what i look like in my own mind'
    I totally hear you, and I very appreciate your post, as *I* myself want to approach this theme again, and here you are.
    It´s a pretty common thing that the image we think we hold in our minds eye about ourselves and the image we see mirrored back- in photographs, as well, don´t match, and so, seeing the "reality" is shocking, again and again. It feels like a big confusion.

    So now- what tells me that?
    Abe teach that the trained vibration we hold and the manifestation ALWAYS match, no exception.

    Which means, when the manifestation (the manifestation of body, the manifestation of the mirrorimage, or the photo) and our idea of how we look don´t match- we must hold a belief about ourselves that denies the wanted outcome. Right?

    I think, first of all it is crucial to MAKE PEACE WITH THAT.
    To embrace that truth. To embrace the fact, that you want something different than what you got.
    To admit, that you are shocked, even in terror maybe, that you feel devastated, sad, powerless- or at least annoyed and puzzled.
    OWN IT.

    It is as it is!

    And then, it´s crucial to remember that whenever we feel negative emotion, it only means, that we look at this topic very differently than source does, in the very same time.
    Source loves us. Source thinks we´r beautiful, very similar to the quote that spiritual cookie gave us from Roald Dahl. Source sees our very special character and ideals "set in flesh", our tokens of lived, precious life, our amazing uniqueness, our longheld emotions engraved as perfectly accurate mirrorimages into our body-texture, -form, -posture, our wrinkles and lines. And source all sees this as precious.

    But we don´t.
    We hold tons of resistances about what would be right or wrong. What we are supposed to "show" of the REAL ME, and what not. We want to appear flawless, and are shocked how honest our body is, and how telling our physicality is.

    In looking at our always fair and correct physicality, we are faced with what we like, but more than that, with what we resist- probably, without even realizing it consciously aka, happy-face-stickering it.

    Why would we do that?
    Because we don´t want to "see", how sad, frustrated, worn-out, indifferent, shapeless, "too much", distorted our "reality" is?

    Why not embrace it instead, allow it, see it as helpful indicators- and use that to first SOOTHE and then guide ourselves to what we really want?

    Abe teach that we can reduce lines, refresh our bones and tissue, rebuild teeth and hair, change our height, color our eyes in any way we like and regain complete health in every stage of our life. Nothing is "too late" ever. But to accomplish that, we must FIRST make peace with where we are.


    If you want it, you can have it. NO exceptions!
    EVERYTHING IS POSSIBLE.

    Every cell in your body has a direct relationship with Creative Life Force,
    and each cell is independently responding.
    When you feel joy, all the circuits are open,
    so the Life Force can be fully received.

    When you feel guilt, blame, fear, or anger,
    the circuits are hindered and Life Force cannot flow as effectively.
    Physical experience is about monitoring those circuits
    and keeping them as open as possible.

    Your cells know what to do; they are summoning the Energy.

    There is no condition that you cannot modify into something more,
    any more than there is any painting that you cannot repaint.
    There are many limiting thoughts in the human environment
    that can make it seem that these so-called incurable illnesses
    or unchangeable conditions cannot not be changed.

    But we say that they are only "unchangeable",
    because you believe they are.

    Someone asked us recently,
    "Is there any limitation to the body's ability to heal?"
    And we said, None, other than the belief that you hold.
    And he asked,

    "Then why aren't people growing new limbs?"
    -And we said,
    Because no one believes they can.

    -Abe




    What we would do if we were standing in your physical shoes, is
    -we would disassociate age with activity
    or age with the way that you feel,


    because your body is a cellular mass
    that is monitored and created through electrical charges,
    and the cellular mass has the capability
    of regenerating itself.
    Endlessly.



    Abe




    HS:
    (Abe said) that we could grow our limbs back, if we believed we could.

    Abe:
    There isn´t anything... if you desire it, NO MATTER WHAT IT IS,
    and you are able to find a consistent thought with it, that doesn´t oppose it,
    IT WILL BECOME A REALITY.
    No exceptions!

    HS:
    So, if I wanted to change my brown eyes to green, if I really...

    Abe:
    NO EXCEPTIONS!!!
    What is it about "no exceptions", that needs clarification?

    Denver, 06.20.2015

  5. #5
    Beloved Woman paradise-on-earth's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    Location
    Elfengarten, Germany
    Posts
    69,872
    Originally Posted by star fairy
    what gives with that and how to think better thoughts about it? abe says dont care about the peanut gallery but this kind of the desire IS about wanting to be 'beautiful enough' (worthy) of having a beautiful mate, friends, etc.
    Do you REALLY want to attempt friendships or intimate love-relationships in this way? Honest question!
    I know we get triggered in this way. But- why not think twice, each time we get that trigger?

    -Do I REALLY believe that love and friendship must be traded in, by me appearing to be "young and beautiful in this and that way"??
    -Do I- myself- desire my friends and lovers to prove their worthiness to me, in this ways?

    When you say "yes" to that, there is more work for you to understand unconditional love and alignment, that are the basis of all good relationships.

    And when you honestly say "no" to these questions, then STOP TORTURING YOURSELF with them. Start to shift your old default-beliefs: "All a belief is, is a thought you keep thinking" -Abe
    So, focus on what you WANT to belief, instead, and train it every day!


    Also i dont like pictures of myself (because they dont look like the version i have of myself in my head/vortex version) and this is the 'selfie' age to boot.
    Certainly. But as I had explained in the other post- it cannot be that you have alignment with this different images of yourself in your mind.

    Because, if that would be, your body would match that. So- as always, it´s our job to close the gap between where you are and where you want to be. It´s our job, to FIRST do the vibrational work, of soothing yourself, and then gently refocus on the emotional essences you would like to achieve, INSTEAD, and then to train them.

    now i think better feeling thoughts and stay off the subject MOST of the time and feel pretty good. it is only when i see physical reflections or photos that i feel this.
    As I said, appreciate the reminder. Appreciate getting aware of your guidance. Appreciate this "contrast", that makes you clear- without it, you could not be a deliberate creator.

    Abe have adviced sometimes to avoid the mirrors. But as they also say, they don´t want us to become hermits that avoid the world aka the contrast. They want us to be aware of what we don´t want, so that we more clearly know what we do want- and then, that we enjoy the sweetzone of "the journey" towards what we want.

    Be easier about all of it. Start to enjoy THE WHOLE thing, as an adventure, that WILL have a happy end, and that CAN be awesome, thrilling, fascinating, triumphant, exquisitely lovely journey!


  6. #6
    Beloved Woman paradise-on-earth's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    Location
    Elfengarten, Germany
    Posts
    69,872
    I just came about this quote, and I find it fascinating, regarding this theme (thank you Qzi!):



    Truth vs Clarity


    The phrase, “it's true” simply means somebody gave their attention to something long enough to achieve a vibrational alignment with it. And Law of Attraction gave them what they were thinking about. That’s what “it's true” means.

    “It's true” means if we were standing in your physical shoes, we would at least add another phrase to the words “it's true.”
    And that other phrase would be,
    “It’s true, and I want some of it.
    It’s true, and I want some of it.”

    Because if it’s true, and you don’t want any of it, it being true is not a good enough reason for you to give your attention to it!

    Play it for a little while. Over the next 5 to 10 days. “It’s true, but I don’t think I would like any of that. But it’s really true, but I don’t think I would like any of that.” It’s going to be quite shocking to you how many things you give your attention to that you don’t want to activate in your vibration, -but you are, because it’s true.

    We’re inviting you today to find a new criteria. A criteria that the Source within you has found long ago. The criteria to give your attention to something is: Does this thing that I am holding as my object of attention resonate with the true core of my being? In other words, does it feel good when I think about it? This thing that I am focused upon, is it in such vibrational sync with the Source within me that when I focus on it I am wide open to the energy that creates worlds, allowing the cells of my body to accurately communicate with one another, bring me thriving, resonance and wellbeing?

    That’s the sort of truth we would encourage you to look for. -The Truth. The only truth of Pure Positive Energy,
    that ripples through your being when you find alignment with the Source within you.
    That’s truth. That’s Truth that will serve you.
    That’s Truth that will refuel you.
    That’s Truth that will rebalance you.
    That’s Truth that will give you clarity.


    Stamford, CT 10/2/10

  7. #7
    why would not being a pretty face make you less worthy? do you feel defined by what happens to you?

  8. #8
    Jewel M.'s Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2008
    Location
    , , USA
    Posts
    1,022
    Hello star,

    I have that soft song flooding through my mind….Can’t Help Falling In Love.

    The lyrics….

    Take my hand
    Take my whole life, too
    For I can't help falling in love with you
    For I can't help falling in love with you.


    Source can’t help falling in love with you….and since everyone is truly Source…..everyone must be in love with you too…..whether they recognize it or not.

    Every day I fall more and more in love with everyone….even these trucks that pass by sprayed with mediocre graffiti….even that holds charm.

    Source is more beautiful than any gorgeous face or body you see anywhere. Behind an awkward nose or perfect chin is Beauty beyond Beauty (Source). You don’t need to change your hair, or the wrinkles on your brow, or anything….because this Beauty is already there.

    And if someone can’t see that….it is none of your concern, just know it.

    Relax and flow with your joys, that energy/vitality is so alluring, also because you can have the ideal features, and still not feel like yourself.

    What is yourself? It is bubbling joy to be….bubbling joy to express….bubbling joy to be here, right now….in the very spot you are in.

    Love mixed with love….and more and more love is joy ~ bliss. And that is what you are…love merged with love….upon love.

    Align, align, align….that is the remedy for all discomforts.



  9. #9
    WellBean's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    Location
    On the beach :)
    Posts
    4,685
    Grrrrl, I could have written this post. I probably have, if we search the archives.

    I had a teacher/healer type person say to me after I asked her the question “well, what’s more beautiful than god?” In other words, why not let my Source-self shine?

    My path in this has been to admire and appreciate beauty in everything, in the obviously beautiful and in the ramshackle house on the side of the highway.

    And also come to peace that I may never find myself as beautiful in the mirror as I do in my heart. Maybe that’s ok. Sort of like how a movie never quite lives up to the book. Am I going to let that keep me from happiness??

    And the second part is that I have to practice not buying into society’s idea of what’s attractive, and making that some measurement of my value. It just isn’t. What is this manifestation of a judging society letting me know about my thoughts?? That my value comes from anywhere else but Source? It’s a continual practice, but I’m doing so much better.

    One more thought, I have a friend that has the sex/romantic life of her dreams (she has more than one partner and tons of people she dates, like she likes). And she is not what society says she should look like to get that kind of action. What a role model for me!!

    Keep shining, star. ��

  10. #10
    Quote Originally Posted by star fairy
    i have found it is more centered around being 'beautiful' and 'young'...like i can feel really great but then walk past a mirror or storefront or catch a glimpse of myself in the rearview mirror, and i'm like 'hmm that is not what i look like in my own mind'

    so what gives with that and how to think better thoughts about it? abe says dont care about the peanut gallery but this kind of the desire IS about wanting to be 'beautiful enough' (worthy) of having a beautiful mate, friends, etc. Also i dont like pictures of myself (because they dont look like the version i have of myself in my head/vortex version) and this is the 'selfie' age to boot.

    now i think better feeling thoughts and stay off the subject MOST of the time and feel pretty good. it is only when i see physical reflections or photos that i feel this.
    I was saying something very similar on a thread of mine, in that I think and feel very young at least 10 years younger until I am reminded by the mirror that I am not, just as you described.

    The desire I have just like yourself IS about being at least a decade younger and having the beautiful mate, friends etc. it very much is about the peanut gallery. In fact I'd just like to go back to whom I was 12 years ago and be able to participate with young people in that group. (and not as the old guy)

    Also, if we can, be, do and have whatever we like then surely we should not put up with substitutes or substitute suggestions, like explaining away not buying into what is considered attractive by society or whomever, or that love only exists in the absence of beauty, which are fallacies.

    You should be able to work towards the youthfulness and beauty you desire, without it being just a thinking/feeling place but actually being a physical manifestation. I think and feel a lot younger than I am, but the mirror tells me another story, so there has to be a little more than thinking/feeling a certain way - which btw will not give you the experiences you desire but which are the definition of being delusional.

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •