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Thread: how to feel more worthy regarding physical attributes or "beauty"??

  1. #31
    Beloved Woman paradise-on-earth's Avatar
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    Star fairy I love how you cut through it all, and are so very open!
    I feel inspired to focus on some sentences that feel as the core-sentences *to me* (excuse me if I left out what matters more to you). Maybe we get some wanted momentum when I answer those in one flight. For that, I have put some of them into a different order. First of all, what you have put last (but most important also):

    and last and most , i really want to appear beautiful TO MYSELF
    Exactly: Letīs take this as your core-desire, your core-intention. You want to see and enjoy your beauty when you look into the mirror or at a picture- because when YOU authentically do that, you stop caring about what anybody else says.

    And here is the golden key to the whole thing:
    When you appear beautiful to you-
    then you have no gap any longer between you and YOU! Because your IB knows the awesome beauty of you, only always and ever. And when you do, too- than you are in this delicious, authentic, invincible alignment.

    The key strategy is to TRAIN that- UNCONDITIONALLY- until you get there by default and really easy, because IT IS WHAT YOU KNOW TO BE TRUE.

    Quote Originally Posted by star fairy View Post
    I want to avoid that scenario again aka attract someone who i think is physically attractive (for one thing) .
    ... exactly. Then, you had less than you really wanted, and that feels bad. You donīt want that again. Fact is: We will never be satisfied with an unclosed gap.
    -Your dreams will never die, and when you donīt give in to them, you will always feel unfulfilled. And: there are NO "wrong desires"!

    How does somebody squelch a dream?
    The only possible way that you can squelch a dream is by offering a vibration in opposition to it and practicing the opposing vibration- so that itīs so big, that itīs always present.

    But now letīs say it in amore vivid real way: "I havenīt been squelching my dream, Iīv been at war with my dream!"
    -Cause you canīt squelch it!

    "Iīve been preventing myself from realizing my dream!" -better terminology!

    "Iīve been practicing a vibration, that is opposite to my dream, and I practiced it long enough, that it comes easily to me. And if my dream would just die, I would be in peace. But my dream wonīt die. My dream wonīt die- because itīs who I really am."

    And this is why weīr saying to you, friends: Youīve got no choice if you wanna feel good, OTHER than to stop the battle against your own desires and dreams! And the way you stop your battle,
    is by feeling for the thought, that feels BETTER.


    from the clip Abraham: Too afraid to dream



    i want to hold a belief that i am beautiful, photogenic, worthy of someone who i find to be my 'dream mate', etc, definitely.
    Exactly: You WANT that. Your dream will never die. GIVE IN TO IT. Stop the battle.

    I have the idea that beauty outwardly is linked to the inner soul of the person...now i know there are beautiful people who are not aligned ...but it seems like the people I see and want to befriend do have those "beams shooting out of their face" like the quote said...maybe it is more of a vibration of beauty?


    Exactly: ...YOU define what feels as authentic awesome wonderful beauty, to YOU. Period.

    not quite understanding how to GET to the feeling of beauty yet


    ...Training, training, training. Practice the appreciation, when you feel it. Appreciate beauty deliberately, whenever and wherever you see it. Milk it, adore it, focus upon it, enjoy it. TRAIN IT.

    And: Noooo "
    but I do not look that way!"

    -thatīs the "war against your dream".

    there are so many people who I think are beautiful who probably aren't by "society" standards so I know it is a subjective thing


    I am quick to think they are "just saying that" or have an ulterior motive
    ...which means, you simply donīt have enough training.
    And also it reminds you that YOU want to know your beauty, and not depend on others believing your beauty.

    but how to avoid the desire of wanting others to see my beauty/soul/eternal youthfulness???
    Not at all! You must embrace it. You must become it. Stop the war against your dream!


    I do understand time as a made up
    It isnīt. Abe teach that we can understand it as "becoming more".
    You are more today, than you have been yesterday. You have more experiences, more insight, more understanding, more solutions- at least in your Vortex. And so, when you donīt catch up you feel worse the older you get. But you feel BETTER the older you become, WHEN you catch up (I experience this so intensely!)


    i just dont FEEL like i am my "old self" haha meaning my "young self" when i was confident, and knew i looked pretty damn good i lost my confidence because of aging and my focus on wrinkles and extra weight blah blah and that is my now habit.


    Thatīs solely because your "became more" and didnīt quite catch up with this more. And so, now it hurts more, and it also starts to show physically that you are not fully lined up with who you became. See passus above!

    i am more likely to notice that i'm getting to the age where i am "invisible".
    You will for sure, when you donīt catch up with the more that you become every day. But when you DO catch up, WOW, how visible, how awesome how incredibly attractive you will become!
    -It also will be that you get this attractiveness in ways that NOW matter to you. Which might be different than what had mattered 5, 10 or 20 years ago to you. But it will be a beauty that YOU love, and enjoy (no matter what others think or are able to see).


    no one knew how old she was until she died (she was killed but that is a different story) and then every one was *shocked* she was 85 because she looked literal 50
    -Isnīt that an awesome example of what is possible?
    I personally do NOT want to look like 20 anymore. Itīs not what feels good to *me* for *me* (while I of course adore beauty in all ages). But I want to feel authentic- and beautiful. And how that looks can only be defined *by you*. You get to decide every piece. And you can have it all!

    I feel very self-conscious to try to look or act sexy since I think someone will be grossed out by it. if you know what i mean. ?

    Yes, and thatīs so understandable. Because when you "act" while you are not lined up yet, you feel the discord. Abe advice to not go into action as long you feel insecure/not yet lined up.


    anyway Elke the quotes are really saying all the things i'm after here so thank you as always and i have to laugh there is even one about LA specifically , heh!!!
    What do you take from them?


    i am imagining my desire of the ever-present-idea of "celebrity boyfriend" and that whole lifestyle
    Go for it! Embrace it! Give in to it! Stop the war against your desire!

    i understand what to do for the most part
    Give it to us in 1 or 2 short sentences! Whatīs it, FOR YOU?

    i'm not specifically sure what thoughts feel better since the real desire is to look at myself as Source sees me and the 'mirror' (literal and other people) doesn't reflect that yet i dont think


    Just find it out! Thatīs the "game". Go there and try this or that, and find out how it "tastes". Thatīs what weīr here for: Experiencing life, molding the clay, and coming to new thrilling dreams and preferences.

    it is less about my youth and beauty than it is about appearing worthy to someone
    ...Thatīs looking for love and approaval from all the wrong places, isnīt it? Thatīs putting the cart before the horse. It will mix- and mess you up, eternally.

    Turn to YOU, first. To your IB, to your source, and close that gap, FIRST. And then, all the other falls into place, all by itīs own.

    my habits of thought go back to worrying about seeming gross or old or desperate .
    ...Practice, practice, practice!

  2. #32
    I don't think you have to necessarily 'get to the feeling of beauty' if it's not available. That's trying way too hard imo. Just follow more organically what is offered to you, the famous next natural step.

    So first get in receptive mode consistently, with this subject kind of thrown in as a question in the cauldron. And from that field something at some point will be offered, some thought or some insights, some development. If nothing is offered, just stay with the receptive mode consistently for a little more. Or, if it feels good to you and as long as it does, with a playful lingering in the beautiful idea you created and in the anticipation of the unfolding that will make it mature into a thing. But we careful not to go into yearning!
    You can also meanwhile do some grids of clarity and empowerment, or of feeling at ease with the unfolding.
    Just don't go to feeling the beauty unless it feels easy and fun.
    Don't try to make things happen, just attend to the energy in the way you feel most drawn to, and let the energy lead the process.

    As a parallel line of investigation, I would put down in a journal all upset (not necessarily about the subject) that arises and soothe it.
    I find the two parallel lines can work very well in synergy.
    Last edited by rose essence; 1 Day Ago at 06:41 AM.

  3. #33
    I would also check out the 'I don't know how to do it' story. You actually do... You actually know how to align. You "used to" not know how to align deliberately, but now it's different. So if it feels good, you can get back to that "I know how to align" general statement, whenever self-doubt creeps in. You've got this. You actually do.

  4. #34
    WellBean's Avatar
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    Ugh. I lost a long reply.

    Main points — you would never say to your child or a friend “you aren’t good enough, no one will ever love you.” So why do we say it to ourselves and our bodies?

    And also, your body thinks it’s beautiful NOW. Your IB thinks it’s beautiful. Of course it feels bad for you to think otherwise —- it doesn’t match.

  5. #35
    star fairy's Avatar
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    PoE thanks for all that <3 and I definitely knew that Abe says you can't give up on a dream but now I really get that!!!

    Rose ! thanks and I think "the i dont know how story" is limiting as you say. i am trying to think up some better feeling thoughts not so much about that but about what to actually say to myself which leads me to wellbean .. ... yes... I dont really say those phrases as much as I realise it is about judgment, judging myself and sort of using other people as a comparison

    like i'll see someone my age and say "wow hope i dont look that old" or i see someone with a feature I dont like in myself like if someone is frowning i say to myself "eek hope i don t look like that" or if someone has wrinkled forehead I think "hope I dont look like that"
    also i see young beauties and say things like "wow wish i looked like that"
    so now i am trying to replace these thoughts with better feeling ones but i haven't come up with them yet.....maybe there isn't any to come up with and i should just say to myself "stop judging" or something like that?

  6. #36
    Beloved Woman paradise-on-earth's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by star fairy View Post
    PoE thanks for all that <3 and I definitely knew that Abe says you can't give up on a dream but now I really get that!!!



    I think "the i dont know how story" is limiting as you say.
    Tony Robbins celebrates when a client states "I donīt know". He says, not-knowing means to be open for something new! And isnīt that a wonderful better feeling thought, really?

    Not-yet-knowing means, that you are open.
    You donīt state "I know that this is impossible." Instead, you just donīt know (yet) how it will come together. And thatīs a wonderful beginning. Just donīt get stuck there- but start walking UNCONDITIONALLY.

    You create the path. The path becomes under your feet. Always.


    i am trying to replace these thoughts with better feeling ones but i haven't come up with them yet.....maybe there isn't any to come up with and i should just say to myself "stop judging" or something like that?
    Whatever feels better, or as relief from where you are, in the very moment.
    A decision to not judge anymore at all is something very powerful.
    But it only works, when you have something that you can do, INSTEAD!

    Abe teach us how helpful and WANTED it is to really understand and know what you donīt want- because it clarifies what you DO want, on the other hand. There comes a time, when "pivoting" becomes really easy: As soon you realize what you donīt want in the contrast that life brings to you, you can jump to what you DO want, and milk that for a bit.

    "I donīt want this depletion (donīt ponder it too long, or it will get momentum).
    While I really love when people beam in joy! When their eyes sparkle. When they radiate liveliness, eagerness and passion. When their walk has this elated spring..." (milk what you do want as long as it feels juicy! Give it momentum!)

    Donīt judge yourself for judging. Instead, enjoy the contrast, use it for creating on purpose from it. Recognizing the unwanted is a crucial part of deliberate creation, but know how to deal with it in the right way.


    Creators that create worlds
    look at the unwanted for a split-second,
    and at the wanted for eternity.


    -Abe

  7. #37
    WellBean's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by star fairy View Post
    wellbean .. ... yes... I dont really say those phrases as much as I realise it is about judgment, judging myself and sort of using other people as a comparison

    like i'll see someone my age and say "wow hope i dont look that old" or i see someone with a feature I dont like in myself like if someone is frowning i say to myself "eek hope i don t look like that" or if someone has wrinkled forehead I think "hope I dont look like that"
    also i see young beauties and say things like "wow wish i looked like that"
    so now i am trying to replace these thoughts with better feeling ones but i haven't come up with them yet.....maybe there isn't any to come up with and i should just say to myself "stop judging" or something like that?
    You may not be saying it with your words, but don’t you think you are saying it with your vibe??? The beating of the drum of “not good enough”?

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