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Thread: Pingan’s practice

  1. #2291
    For me actions have not been just actions; i was subjected to pressures and demands and scrutiny, until I became anxious and reflective about my actions and words.

    So I have been viewing my actions and words and behaviour as things I must manipulate and control and present in ways that will soothe and placate and not provoke others.

    I tend not to act authentically, because I am worried about moulding my behaviour and presentation to a potentially hostile or antagonistic environment.

    I am overly concerned with the ramifications of my behaviours, words and actions. This is something I have been trained into.

    That is a layer of resistance I do not need.

    Where do actions come from? Where do behaviours arise from? They must arise from vibration. And my resistant thoughts about action give rise to corresponding actions.

    But this is keeping me from being the person I am meant to be. If I let resistant thoughts shape my actions and words, i am perpetuating resistance.

    This all stems from thinking my words and actions create my reality via other people reacting and responding to me.

    I cannot calibrate to good feeling thoughts while also thinking that my words and actions and physical presentation determine how other people respond to me.

    That is so stressful. It is also false. Because my vibration creates my reality including the responses of other people.

    I cannot feel good while thinking I must behaviourally give other people the responses they are looking for.

    I cannot calibrate to my inner being while also conforming my behaviour to other people and my imagined expectations.

    I want to feel free and easy and authentic in my words and actions and presentation.

    I want my words and actions and presentation to come from my inspired aligned vibration.

    I want to trust that my vibration determines how others respond, not my words and actions and presentation.

    I want to not even care how people respond because I am so calibrated to feeling good and have established momentum in my unconditional alignment.



  2. #2292
    More detail is coming to me.

    I have felt responsible for everything around me, as if my attentiveness is the only thing keeping life running smoothly and averting disaster.

    But LoA governs everything.
    I am not responsible. My attention is not required. My management is not needed.

    If I relax and allow myself to be a cooperative component...any words or actions of value will come to me and through me naturally.

    I don?t need to hover or manage or shoulder burdens.

    I can relax completely, and just let myself feel ease and relief.



  3. #2293
    I had a really cool shift.
    I noticed a tendency for me to find answers and feel good, and then a half day or whole day later be back in a negative place again looking for a fresh answer.

    I thought this was expansion, and it is partly. But it turns out to be mostly from the narcissistic abuse I experienced, where I was continuously criticised, attacked etc, from different angles. I would try to find the answer to placate the narcissist, but then he would find a new angle to attack me from, or the next day would start afresh with the same conflict.

    At a certain age I internalised this pattern and began creating these conflicts and attacks and negative feelings within myself. I internalised the vibration of never enough, an expectation of endless problems to solve or hoops to jump through.

    But now I can see the pattern. I can see myself creating a feeling or sense of problems to solve and a demand on myself to solve them, such that I would continue to feel like it is never enough.

    So now that I know, I do not need to take on board these problems. I do not need to present myself with anything that feels like a problem or a burden or a vulnerability or a fault.

    My literal dream is to wake up in a place where everything is taken care of, where I have no responsibilities, where I am surrounded by love and joy and satisfying people and things. The relief in this dream is so wonderful. That relief is what I choose instead of problems and never enough.

    There are no problems. Those problems I have been finding are not my problems. They are not real problems. Just the vibration of problems. I can choose the vibration of dream-like relief instead.



  4. #2294
    lemon-up's Avatar
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    Pingan, I enjoyed these posts so much.....what a great way to deconstruct some beliefs

  5. #2295
    Quote Originally Posted by lemon-up View Post
    Pingan, I enjoyed these posts so much.....what a great way to deconstruct some beliefs
    Thanks lemon-up!
    I am so proud of myself for my latest shift. More to come



  6. #2296
    Morning, time to calibrate.
    Remember that only I control how I feel, because I control my focus.
    I want to calibrate to the freedom and relief and joy of my dream.
    A place where everything is taken care of for me, and I have no responsibilities.
    I feel safe, secure, free, and easy.

    I want to calibrate to all my desires being fulfilled.

    But what about my already fulfilled desires? Can I calibrate to appreciation for what is right now?

    The cool air from my window, the warmth of my bed. My partner looking after the kids. Can I appreciate the freedom I already have? The ease I already enjoy.

    This is new: finding the feeling of my desires via already manifested conditions. Allowing myself to feel the essence of my desires, not by focusing on how I would feel if... but how I can feel now.

    I am not used to appreciating things. I am not used to letting myself feel good about my now. But I no longer have to activate that never enough vibration; so now can be enough?

    Not to appreciate conditions, but to appreciate how I can feel right now in these conditions? I can feel a freedom right now. I can let myself feel free right now. I can let myself feel love right now. I do not need to find an angle or an idea to inspire me. I do not need to imagine my future manifestations. I can feel it now.



  7. #2297
    I think that my past experiences trained me to not feel satisfied in the present moment.
    I have shifted so profoundly that trained resistance, and now I am able to approach satisfaction right now.

    It is as though I was never allowed to be in charge of my own money, and now I have a bank account of my own. I may not have much money to put in there yet, but for the first time I can put my money in my account and it remains mine.

    Likewise I now recognise I have the ability and freedom to feel satisfied right now.



  8. #2298
    As a child the real me was not recognised by my family. I recall being treated and looked at and described and reacted to in ways I did not recognise as me.

    I was bright and light and clear. But they acted as if I was awful and bad and ugly and slow and a great burden.

    Eventually I calibrated to their perspective of me.

    I have felt since then that th real me is not seen by others, and I do not know how to Be that me. Instead I calibrate to others perception of me.

    But it stems from my early years with my family: and now I know that they were simply not receptive to the greatness and light and purity and clarity of Me.

    And now I can choose to recognise Me. I can choose to Be Me. Knowing that I will attract people who Are receptive to the Real Me.



  9. #2299
    I remind myself that I have total control over my reality.

    I remind myself that I do not need to solve problems in order to find relief. I do not have to exhaust or investigate the negative or clean it up before I can enjoy the positive.

    The opposite of problem is not solution. The opposite of problem is a gift.

    The opposite of a problem is a gift. Something wonderful and desired that comes to me freely and easily without my doing anything to earn or receive it.

    The opposite of a problem based reality is a gift based reality. Everything is gifted me.

    I don?t do any earning or working out or achieving. I just receive gifts. Gifts. A gift based reality where I just receive gift after gift of all my desires and preferences.

    Receiving perfect gifts. Receiving surprise gifts. The lightness and ease of being gifted everything I want in life.

    And receiving gifts is aligned with the Real Me who is pure and light and easy and doesn?t strive for anything.

    Gifts. Receiving gifts.



  10. #2300
    Why do my desires feel good?

    Because my desires are aligned with the Real Me.

    In fact the Real Me has become my desires. So the Real Me is already as free and as loved and as joyful as my desires.

    The Real Me does not feel as though my desires are yet-to-become. It may seem subtle but my awareness of my desires not yet being here is resistance.

    So forget about my unmanifested desires. Focus on how the Real Me feels. And imagine expressing how the Real Me feels, by my feeling it too.

    Calibrate to how the Real Me feels.



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